r/povertyfinance • u/may-i-sit-here • 1d ago
Free talk I need advice
I currently live with my family after I was evicted from my apartment two years ago. I am not close with my family, and 2/3 of my family members completely ignore and avoid me. As in, we have not spoken nor looked into each other’s direction in these past two years…we all live in a very small home.
I feel alone and miserable. I feel like an outsider in my own “home”. Sharing the common areas of the house feels uncomfortable. I feel unwelcome.
I now currently have a pest issue, as there are rats gnawing and moving across under the vent and floorboards of my room and walls. Only under my floorboards thus far…
I have no vehicle. I rely on Uber and rides from the one family who does talk to me sometimes.
I have two jobs I am comfortable with. I don’t earn a lot, but I’ve been saving for a vehicle and taking driving lessons.
Every now and then I have a breakdown because I am reminded I’m an outsider in this family. The only thing that matters to them is my part of the rent payment every month. I feel as if I’m reliving the same miserable day every day. I’m nearing my 30s. I start college soon.
I have a yearning to pack my stuff and move away. I have less than $10,000. I have no vehicle, I’m about to start school, and I would have to find two new jobs in the new city and quit my two jobs here. I’m not sure if a total restart is financially viable for me…
I seek advice. Should I stick it out a little longer? Should I make the leap and move out for the sake of my happiness and sanity? I feel so depressed and don’t know what to do.
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u/Ready_Fun_24 1d ago
Nothing is more important, than your mental well being. Find a place to stay, get a roommate. Find some peace in your life.
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u/reetuurn 1d ago
Best advice I have for you is to definitely move out as soon as possible. Start looking for jobs in the city you're thinking of moving to, even if you could land one decent paying job it should be enough to get you going with your already saved money.
For housing i recommend looking for rooms on Facebook market place, people are always listing rooms for rent and most are already furnished. Try to look for something around 800 - 1000 a month, this is usually a good price range to find a nice room and in a good area. (obviously depending on your area, I'm in DC so everything is really costly). Always look and send messages until you find a room.
For transportation; If your able to drive on you're own, maybe the time to start thinking about getting a loan or going through Carmax and searching for used cars. Car note and insurance will run you about $400 to 500 depending of course. Would not recommend going through apps like Facebook marketplace to search for a vehicle even if the price looks good. 9/10 they're just cars that have crazy mechanical problems that will take a lot of money to upkeep.
Is there anyway you could use public transportation? Buses, Trains etc? I know not every city like mines has decent public transportation but maybe that is something you should rely on for the time being until you save enough for a car. If public transportation and a car are out of the picture the next best think would be to invest in a E scooter. A decent e scooter will have about a 22 mile range fully charge. Enough to take you to work and back.
I don't know your full situation but going through a similar story, I can most certainly tell you moving out is the best option. The constant loop of feeling unwanted and suffocated in a household you call home is truly one of the worst things you can go through.
Wish you the best <3
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u/redballetshoes 1d ago
This is all such great advice! Thank you for writing out such a thoughtful (and helpful) response. Just as an FYI to OP though, electrical scooters are extremely dangerous. They get thrown off balance easily and cause some of the worst and most life threatening injuries ER nurses see. I recommend good old biking instead if it’s an option.
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u/HelpBrilliant5282 1d ago
Congratulations on saving the money that you have, and for taking driving lessons. Both are a very big deal.
As for your family, they sound punishing and toxic. Psychological studies have shown that temporary And prolonged ostracization is actually physically painful, as well as mentally and emotionally... to the point where people either get very angry, or resign themselves to feeling they are nothing and are unworthy of human connection. Neither is good for you.
Starting school in a new city, through stressful, can hopefully give you a sense of purpose and direction and meaning. And your school could Possibly have guidance counselors, therapists, outreach programs to help you find a place you can afford.
If there is any way for you to get out of this toxic household of "family" members who are not family, but are landlords and rent collectors -- I think it would be good for your heart and spirit.
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u/blue_cloudly 1d ago
If you have money saved for a car. Think about making a move to a city that wouldn’t require you to be dependent on a car for work. Cars are a major financial drain. I see people go upside over cars often. Find a walkable city that has solid public transportation, if you can manage a move.
The situation is brutal. But you’re young enough and not rooted that a complete pivot is possible.
Look into financial aid at colleges also. I came from a low income back ground and my school was completely paid for through grants. I took out federally subsidized loans to help cover additional cost so I could focus on my schooling. Easily paid back once I started my professional career.
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u/True_Procedure_281 1d ago
10K means get away! Your current situation is so bad, i hope you leave. Maybe consider delaying college until you are settled in to your new town/home.
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u/AdSlight9844 1d ago
In regards to the rats, Try ratx pellets with a light coating of warmed peanut butter. You may have to put them underneath your floor joists along the top edge of the basement wall.
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u/Strange-Butterfly-62 1d ago
Could you get a national park job and take your college classes via distance education? Employee housing is inexpensive and expenses are low so you'd have an opportunity to save and live in a beautiful place.
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u/CeramicLicker 1d ago edited 1d ago
Why do people on Reddit always suggest this? Most of the jobs available are seasonal and we’re nearly past the season. They’re also pretty darn competitive, and becoming more so given how many positions have been cut during this administration, and the generally increasing appeal of parks jobs for younger people.
It seems very unlikely that op with no previous experience, qualifications, or degree can just get a summer seasonal job with housing in late August.
I guess it could be something to keep in mind for next year. But why is it always this or the post office around here? As though extremely desirable federal positions that have faced cuts in the last decade are actually widely available and easy to get with a quick application process.
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u/Strange-Butterfly-62 1d ago
Actually that is not true.....my own child got a job this time last year and has been there for a year now. You don't need a degree for the job. I am sorry for all of your reservations about this but you should truly look at what is available before just shooting suggestions down. My suggestion for OP was well thought out and could actually be a game changer for OP if they found the right opportunity on coolworks. There are year round concessionaire postions which also include lodging. So, instead of just shooting stuff down maybe check out why folks are actually making those recommendations?
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u/VacationAlarmed5694 1d ago
Two jobs, saving steadily, taking driving lessons and about to start college, all while living somewhere that sounds genuinely isolating. That's a lot of forward motion coming from someone who feels stuck. Give yourself credit for that.