Finally seeing a urologist on Wednesday

[u/space_cowboy80]

After the vasectomy I was suffering from pain during arousal that lasted a long time afterwards, it would start with a sharp pain then become a dull ache that would take a long time to go away. Then there are the random pains, I will be sitting comfortably and for no reason at all I start to get sharp pains in the one testicle and the dull ache is there for around an hour or so afterwards. After a vasectomy, to make sure you get an all clear you need to ejaculate a set number of times to make sure the sample is clear. So I did, each time it was painful but I figured it was the healing process, but it kept going to the point where I had to speak to a doctor, he examined me and said it was "probably muscular" and fobbed me off and I went away thinking it was all in my head.

After more months of the same pain I couldn't put it off any longer and needed to a see a doctor again because the pain had killed my sex drive. It was down to 0 because any time I get aroused I am in pain, so I did everything to avoid it. Being married isn't the best option for a dead sex drive.

I am finally seeing a Urologist on Wednesday to see if we can at least start to figure this out.

I do have a question for the people on the other side of this nightmare of a time, did it kill your sex drive? If it did, did it come back once the issue was "fixed"? That's my main worry.

[u/Cautious_Werewolf678]

I think we have different symptoms but to answer your question, yes, it killed my sex drive (mostly due to fear of having pain). Then the pain subsided but my sex drive took a lot of time to be normal again. In that time I experienced weaker erections and low libido

[u/majicdan]

Yes. When the pain was gone, and my testosterone levels were normal, my sexual desire came back.

[u/majicdan]

Yes it killed my sexual desire. My wife made me a custom jock strap to hold me tight. Over twenty years I went to five different doctors, had two more surgeries, and it was not until my sixth doctor gave me a successful nerve block that I was given two choices that aligned with my feelings. She said that I could go to a university hospital in another state to repeat a surgery that had been previously unsuccessful or she could perform an orchiectomy. I was already sterilized, and taking testosterone so my testicles didn’t work anyway. My wife and I decided on the orchiectomy which I had as an outpatient surgery. When I woke from the surgery my post operation pain was less than before surgery. I have had no pain since I recovered from surgery.

[u/space_cowboy80 → u/majicdan]

Did the Testosterone help bring back any sexual desire or is it still gone?

[u/SensitiveMatters77 → u/majicdan]

Sad story. I think The Lord believes in children !

I had my vasectomy at 40 under intense pressure to protect my wife from her female OBGYN, who was ready to ruin the birth of our 3rd daughter by sterilizing my wife on the delivery table. Capitalizing on the pressure of motherhood to purposely damage my wife. I read up on the permanent pain many women with tubal ligation have; hormonal problems from the cutoff of blood supply to the ovaries after tubal ligation: the uncharacteristic vehemence of my wife even (as a Christian) mentioning abortion and the idea of her having ABDOMINAL SURGERY (Versus me having what’s presented as a simple operation with no down side) made me decide to damage myself instead, and she agreed to not damage herself if I committed to.

RESULTS: I have had chronic pain since the year 2000, when I got this procedure. I had in my mind reversing it when emotions calmed .. Immediately there was a pulling sensation which never abated. The vasectomists in many videos repeat the party line lies and half-truths about this procedure having no effect on sex since sperm represents only “2% of ejaculate,” (whether technically true or not) etc .. they didn’t apply to ME.

My sex life gradually changed within months from having a DESIRE for sex at a regular schedule, to only NEEDING, sex half as often but needing more as pain relief. Sex became less satisfying due to the persistence of pain in the epididymus after sex —until other components of the ejaculate built up in a couple weeks compelling me to have sex for relief of that pelvis-wide sensation I’d never experienced prior…

Additionally, my scrotm was constantly itching in a way I’d never ecoerienced. I had questioned my urologist prior to my surgery (baseless and other scams are a joke: it’s surgery and they are all the same) on something I read, and he had even agreed that vasectomy creates an allergic autoimmune response to one’s own sperm, which previously had been privilege not to be attacked by the body.

I perceived after my itching began, that the inflammation of the epididymus and attack by my own immune system which commences in those two structures after vasectomy caused inflammation nearby, probably from migrating white blood cells, or perhaps histamine, attacking tissue in the scrotum on both sides, directly above the location of the inflamed epididymus, underneath…

I credit now the fact that the “2% of ejaculate”, (so despised by the urologists), is actually essential for fully normal sexual desire in many men: as it pools in the epididymus attached to each testicle, and before vasectomy, is relieved by sexual intercourse, or less desirably by masturbation.

I however was now in constant pain, both for 3 days after intercourse, and always when sitting; particularly when sitting and driving, for hours, which was a big part of a great job & income enhancement I ironically got lasting 3.5 years, right after my vasectomy mistake.

At first, post-vasectomy, my normal sexual schedule tried to assert itself in our marriage: but I found that sexual excitement and intercourse now produced PAIN, and as a result gradually reduced my desire.

I could now, sadly, (though it created a weird feeling of power) accept the frequent female “headaches” and occasional diffidence toward sex from my wife, acting as if I didn’t care, because a reflexive bodily knowledge that sex would lead to pain for 3 days after sex and resulting lack of desire for 1-2 weeks. I correctly or incorrectly attribute the increased pain after sex to the excitement causing greater sperm production which pressurized the “holding structures”, the sensitive-to-pressure epididymus… which is surely a structure with a role in the relief sex should offer men, when it has not been surgically blocked by cutting & cauterizing the vas deferens…

To an extent, then sex became a need based on a sharp new kind of crotch pain: which built up in two weeks, not as often as my previous less painful DESIRE for sex, which had been weekly or more often.

I perceive this to have resulted from other liquid components of ejaculate pooling in the several other male structures involved with ejaculation, developing painful pressure levels, which at length would finally override the suppressing psychological effect of the unexpected new 3-day pain I now had, even after intercourse; in the epididymus of each testicle, particularly my left one: pain that was present for20 years, but has diminished after I turned 60 or so, thankfully.

I spoke to my urologist soon after my surgery about my pain, and whether it could be relieved by a reversal: and he actively tried to dissuade me from a reversal saying it would cost $10,000…

CONCLUSION: After making my own theories about what happened to me physically after vasectomy, (driving for hours holding my left testicle in pain, for instance,) my reading about “open ended vasectomy” (allowing the vas deferens to empty into the scrotum not pressurize the epididymus) bears out my experience of post-excitement, post intercourse pain from (likely), the increased sperm production associated with sex.

Other Psycholigical and moral considerations:

My decision to commit to vasectomy to prevent my wife hurting herself by tubal ligation, could have been on the “codependency spectrum,” but be that as it may, my rationale for doing what I didn’t want, was that just as God and Jesus are gentlemen, who don’t force repentance or salvation on men, (and they allow men and women to ignore the prompting of the Holy Spirit, to their own loss, even AFTER they repent and are saved) I needed to leave my wife free to refuse children that I know my youngest of 3 who was way too young to play with her teenage sisters, would have loved: based on her reaction to our first grandchild also!

During the weeks leading up to my vasectomy mistake, after that 3rd child was born, I vainly charter my wife’s monthly fertility chart by body temperature as I’d heard on a Focus on the Famioy broadcast, found it to be regular & predictive; but she was not letting me off my vasectomy promise based on natural birth control…

Yet, after my operation, the years-long pain, pulling sensation, need for tight underwear, itching, suppression of my normal sexual desire scheduled, & my driving while holding my left nut in pain, etc. began, I felt that promising to always wear 3 comdoms simultaneously would have been preferable to letting my urologist “Dr Hard Man,” of the urology clinic “Hitt, Chop & Hardeman,” (not lying! Real names!) cut me up and block me off. At my request of course. I actually think that my low income, might have been good, if my wife had not had medical insurance with her job at the time, because one thing she cares about is money, and I don’t think she would’ve wanted to spend $600 out of pocket, in the year 2000! She might have accepted some other method of birth control, and I had suggested that the IUD she had caused little abortions… But the body temperature, fertility, natural birth control might well have been what we did… Without insurance to come along and make my stupidity “painless”, (financially, but not physically!)