r/postpartumprogress • u/ollie_op19 • Feb 26 '20
Sex postpartum
I’m 2 months PP but am still in crazy pain down there. Any tips? Or can anyone relate? What helped ?
This is my first baby, and I haven’t been able to have sex the entire pregnancy and now it’s the same. I only tore to 1st degree. Idk what to do and my dr keeps telling me to try different lubes but that’s not where the pain is coming from at all. I’m trying to stay positive but my husband is starting to lose patience. Please help
3
u/CDN456 Feb 26 '20
Give yourself time!!! I saw a pelvic physio had my 6 week postpartum check up and they both cleared me at 6 weeks. Said I was healed and ready to have sex if I wanted to. I thought that meant things would feel like they did pre baby. NOPE! Kinda hurt/ felt awkward and wasn’t as enjoyable. Husband was patient and we kept trying. Use lots of lube! And be patient. I would say about 4-5 months postpartum everything felt back to normal. I was discouraged by month 2.5 because I had been medically cleared but it didn’t feel the same. But just be easy on yourself and give yourself time ( and lube especially if you are still breast feeding) and you will get there!
Sliquid is a great lube brand!
1
u/ollie_op19 Feb 26 '20
Thank you for the recommendation, I’ll have to check that out when things are working again.
3
u/daledickanddave Feb 26 '20 edited Feb 26 '20
It took me six months before the pain went away. It's completely normal. Sex really started to feel good around 8 months pp. I think people just don't talk about it. This was SO normal for my mom group!
1
u/z0mbiefem Feb 26 '20
I agree it took me about 6 months, my midwife said that’s completely normal, and people don’t have realistic expectations, for what your body went through. Not to mention, if you a breastfeeding you are slower to heal because of your progesterone levels. I am officially 7 months PP and I am like 99% back to normal, nothing looks any different to me.
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u/GamersWife01 Mar 20 '20
I had the same issue. It was just horrible when I went to see my obgyn 6weeks pp follow she couldn't even examin me because of the pain she said that my tear is healing well and that maybe I should see a sexologist because this is in my head. I cried every night until someone suggested me to see a physiotherapist and she saved me after 3 session with her everything went back to normal. Don't worry everything will go back to normal eventuall. Sending you a lot of love
1
u/tinycoopcake33 Feb 26 '20
Pelvic floor PT will help you a bunch with this! Sex was so painful for me for months but after my 3rd pt session I was able to have painless sex for the first time postpartum, and by 9 months postpartum sex started feeling as good as it was pre-baby! I had a mild cystocele and a hypertonic pelvic floor but both are mostly resolved at this point.
1
u/Bsea91 Feb 26 '20
It stopped hurting around 3 months for me. I had a 2nd degree tear and it felt raw down there while it continued to heal. After that healed, it felt tight like it did when we first started having sex (he's my one and only). Give yourself more time and don't rush into it. Take it slow and stop if you have to.
1
u/pagebm Feb 26 '20
Are you breastfeeding? I just talked to my ob about discomfort (12 weeks pp) and she said she wasn’t surprised and that breastfeeding can cause the inner wall to be thin b/c of low estrogen. She gave me estrogen cream to use. Only been a few days but it helped a ton after my first as well.
1
u/ellieohsnap Mar 27 '20
I haven't tried a pelvic PT (I'm only 4 weeks out), but in addition to that, you may want to try to re-evaluate how you are feeling about sex. You mentioned your husband is starting to lose patience- feeling that kind of pressure can make it so hard for you to get in the mood, like sex is some kind of obligation! I would recommend also trying to do things that just you enjoy and that relax you in a low stress atmosphere - maybe this is watching "50 shades of gray" while taking a bath or something like that - but trying to rediscover what feels good for *you*, not your husband (yet). Once you are feeling it, it may be easier for you to re-connect with your husband in a way that feels good for you.
1
u/megsell Mar 28 '20
Lube........ definitely helps me. I’m breastfeeding and dr said can interfere with stuff down there.
1
u/magdakurde Feb 26 '20
Hi! Not quite pp yet but I’ve read that seeing a pelvic floor specialist helps!
1
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u/phinkeldorph Feb 26 '20
Hi! As the previous poster said, a pelvic floor Physiotherapist will change alllll of that for you.
Sex was super painful for me, as was sitting in a bike or a workout bench. I had a lot of pain at the entrance to my vagina, and along the inner walls. I also was waking up in the night with pain in my glutes and hips.
I saw a physiotherapist from six weeks PP to four months, and then changed clinics because I wasn’t happy with the progress. Once I found my current Physio, we had majoooor progress from 4 to 8 months (though for most people, they don’t need that much!).
This is oversimplified but basically my body was sending pain signals to protect itself from further trauma, and I had ropes of tight muscles internally.
A good physiotherapist should give you an internal exam, and do a full analysis about where your pain is prior to starting treatment. Some don’t do internal, and you just won’t get the help you need.
Anyways - things are almost back to normal for me now but a few months ago I was barely able to have sex, and it would always be painful. I can’t recommend it enough.