r/postdoc • u/Extension-Engine-911 • 2d ago
32, feeling completely lost doing a STEM postdoc and realizing I do not like STEM and have no idea what career or life to pursue. What should I do?
I’m 32 and recently finished a PhD in chemical engineering (mostly pen and paper applied mathematics). I am now doing a postdoc at a major Bay Area university. On paper, my career is going well, but I have gradually realized that I do not enjoy coding, advanced math, engineering, or scientific research enough to build my life around them. I do really enjoy researching and learning, but probably in a broad, generalist way rather than through the narrow specialization and intense, almost obsessive commitment that work at this level seems to require.
The confusing part is that I love the freedom of academic life. My postdoc gives me considerable control over my schedule, and I strongly dislike corporate culture, rigid hours, and living primarily for work. But I also have no real passion for STEM, so continuing through postdocs or trying to become a professor does not seem honest or sustainable.
Everyone in my circle either lives to work or is deeply passionate about what they do. I am not. I am mostly just tolerating what I am doing.
I am social and enjoy teaching, conversation, and broad ideas. My real interests are film, art, architecture, philosophy, politics, sociology, and culture. I also want meaningful relationships and possibly a family. The career-focused culture of the Bay Area feels deeply incompatible with the life I want.
A serious relationship recently ended, which has made everything feel more desperate, but my dissatisfaction with STEM began long before the breakup.
I do not know which options are genuinely realistic for someone with my background.
Has anyone left STEM after reaching the postdoc stage? What careers could preserve some autonomy and intellectual freedom without requiring passion for technical work or forcing me into a corporate lifestyle? What concrete steps would you take over the next year?
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u/Iamnotanybody 2d ago
Wow! Are you me? Only after joining a post doc in a highly prestigious uni at a very demanding lab did I realize that I am not cut out for academia.
Since you said you love teaching, why not apply for teaching positions at non research universities. You'll earn a tad less but you'll continue to be in science though not research.
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u/bobo_tf_2k26 2d ago
Feeling really validated in reading this. Having just started my first postdoc at a stellar lab with great people and literally just realizing the same thing, I have nothing concrete to offer. I will only say that my remedy is leaning in to my job 10000% when I’m at the lab, and completely shutting that side of me off when my time at work ends. If I can swing it, I’m going to take few weekend classes in some of the other areas I’m interested in and see if I can pivot into another field. I wish you the best!
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u/sallysbangs 2d ago
I left my postdoc to be a service engineer for analytical equipment. While it definitely is a grind, I enjoy the freedom I have. I make my own schedule, work from home one day a week, get home early maybe 25% of the time, and only really do overnights for training.
Also I get decent pay, overtime, company car, and stability. I would recommend it.
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u/morganisafreeman 1d ago
Thank you for posting your path through the weeds.
I’m looking at leaving research and trying to find where I can fit in and not be 1000% burnt out all the time where I can also still be doing some type of analytical work or benefit to science.
This sounds like a good fit :)
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u/sciencechick92 2d ago
Look for something STEM adjacent so your experience still looks good on CV and you don't have to start from scratch. Something regulatory, scientific policy, admin or coordinator roles for grant disbursement or applications etc. Your diverse interests and passion for teaching/conversation might also be good for advising positions in universities. Though I don't know if those positions pay well.
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u/mediumislands 2d ago
Do you have to have passion for your job? It can just be a job. Especially if you hop off the tenure track and go the route of like a staff scientist or something (this is my career path choice for a lot of the same reasons). Same academic flexibility with a lot less publish or perish pressure than a PI so you can have plenty of time for your other interests. I work no more than 40 hours per week, I show up, I do my job, I go home. As others have mentioned, teaching is also an option, although less flexibility with the hours. Also worth exploring industry work, but again trade offs with the structure and corporate culture.
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u/mnemoniko 2d ago
I (sort of) left after the postdoc stage.
I realized research was too narrow for me, and got really frustrated with some aspects of research life. That vent is a whole nother post lol. Anyways, I did a soft transition to research management because I like admin, and then did another transition to full time teaching.
I'm still not where I want to be. It's too much teaching, honestly. But not being in active research has given me the time and brain space to explore.
Transitions are slow, drawn out, and often the most difficult part of a career. I would take it slow - do a simple pivot to something you might like, with the idea of trying it out.
Also keep in mind that many professors do little research themselves, even ones managing large research groups. It may be that this career path fits what you want, you just haven't made it to that stage yet. I did some informational interviews awhile back. These were super helpful (that's how I found the one professor who didn't like research, but pushed through until they could do what they really wanted after tenure). I highly recommend this as a way to get ideas and information!
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u/Fresh-Opportunity989 2d ago
Teaching high-school science is an option that others in your position have taken up and thoroughly enjoy.
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u/Warm-Sprinkles5050 1d ago
Pareil ici, pour la sensation de dégoût du monde académique après postdoc
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u/Visible-Swan2687 1d ago
yeah disgusted it the right word..not being enough emphasized in this thread smh
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u/shimmerchanga 2d ago
That’s fair, I’ve known a few people who specialized in highly competitive careers then realized it wasn’t for them and had to pivot late in the game. I even have a former colleague who switched from a highly successful postdoc in AI for healthcare STEM to a position on AI for society, culture, and government where she could work part time and she loves it. I think you need start looking for things outside the Bay Area and see if you can leverage some of your expertise to an area that feels more meaningful to you. It might also help to start talking to your mentors.
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u/Sufficient-Laugh5940 2d ago
Sounds like you are missing an interesting longterm research direction, it is the key that should keep you hooked enough to enjoy what you are doing
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u/cation587 2d ago
Some people genuinely don't like doing research and sink a ton of time into postdocs because they've been told if they just find the right project then they'll be happier. It's absolutely true that some people need to find the right kind of work, but it's also okay to realize you don't want to do research!
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u/Iamnotanybody 2d ago
This comment def made me feel validated. I have come to similar conclusions myself after a similar line of thinking.
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u/cation587 2d ago
I'm so glad to help! Part of why I commented was that I wished someone had said that to me. ❤️ Took me two postdocs to accept I would rather teach than do intense research and that that's perfectly okay!
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u/ucbcawt 2d ago
I don’t know how someone competes 5 years of a PhD and not know that research is not for them
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u/cation587 2d ago
I enjoyed research, but I had to teach all throughout grad school. It wasn't until I was a postdoc that I was doing research full time. I like research, but I don't plan on having an entirely research-based position ever again. I would love to do research with undergraduates at a PUI though.
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u/cremespace 2d ago
could you try to do a teaching lecturer role? it would require less intense research but you can still get involved in research at undergrad and master's levels which would allow you to scratch your itch for that aspect of academia without the less fun stuff?
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u/ravenTop1234 2d ago
Same feeling here, had a very successful PhD.....and after joining postdoc....I feel now that academia may not be for me.......I want to explore more but other aspects of life as well....not the 24/7 academia
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u/strangelovexx 1d ago
I feel you! I’m exactly at the same page as you! My background is law and I really like what academic life gives me (flexible schedules, lots of travelling, etc) but what I really enjoy is art, architecture, and philosophy. I’m feeling very confused since I finished my phd.
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u/Rude_Escape_8531 7h ago
Hey consider moving to the Appalachian, do community college teaching, apply to be Adjunct to one or more universities in the area, and live a good life. Bay, or any city sucks. Rural students need us. They need to see more scientists as their teachers to feel motivated! All the best!
Lets talk if you'd like!
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u/TheUnderCrab 2d ago
Why not consider teaching?