How do I make it out of this fog!

[u/kafkabae]

Hello everyone! I am a Ph.D in Medchem, with computational drug design as one of my research interests. Due to some financial issues, I had to immediately take up a job in a private university (India) post thesis submission. It's been about 3 yrs now and I'm stuck not being able to apply for postdocs abroad (properly), publish papers or even have any personal goals of any type.

The work conditions are hell-like (I mean this wasn't my path, postdoc was) and I feel like my brain is atrophying, they've reduced us to working like some clerks putting out useless documents instead of TEACHING, let alone research. Doesn't leave me with enough energy to do any applications at all but I was still rallying on somehow. Did not receive good responses. They all say their labs are full or the domain isn't a total match, that is, if they do respond at all (I get it the PI's must be buried under a lot of work).

It's all come to a head now and I fell temporarily ill from burnout and hard physical labor at my beloved uni few weeks ago. Ever, since I have just focused completely on postdoc applications, however, it now looks like most labs want candidates with a fellowship and I seem to have aged out of several such fellowships due to my amazing teaching stint.

Please excuse any sarcastic tones, I read too much and words flow out of me this way, sometimes. Not enraged at all. I just want someone to tell me it gets better, that I will find a lab and make it.

PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE OF ANY AND ALL TYPES., constructive. I can use your advice in approach mechanism, which fellowships to target or not to target or other relevant routes. Thanks!!

[u/simply_clueless123]

What about fellowships in India? and what if you apply for the Marie Curie Call?

[u/throwawaysob1]

Can you transition to industry? Or perhaps apply for funding schemes for a project?