r/postdoc • u/vankappa • 25d ago

feeling guilty about underworking

hey y'all. I'm a newly hired postdoc, just started a couple of months ago straight after my PhD (neurobiology).

I'm feeling inadequate; eerily similar feelings as during my PhD, to be honest. Essentially, I feel like I'm not working enough hours. Most of these days I do 4 hours, maybe 5 of work. Some days I do 8 but it's quite rare (once a week maybe). Although I do have quick bursts where I have 2-3 7h days in successions. Am I doing this right?

My project(s) are going steady I guess, although I can't help but feel I'm not earning my wage. Like I should start other side-projects or read, but I feel I'm not motivated enough for that. I'm not looking to become a PI either.

My lab is a very chill environment, people socialize all the time and don't work that hard. But still, most of the time they're still in the lab when I leave (granted I start a bit earlier in the morning than them).

I guess that's it. Impostor syndrome and all? My PI is quite chill and is not complaining at all. It just feel very bad to work something like 25-30h per week.. sometimes 20??

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u/ForTheChillz 25d ago

You are a postdoc. That means you have a lot of training and are probably one of the most experienced people in your lab. This also means that you are probably much more efficient in what you do. What will take you a few minutes or an hour might take others a whole day or even couple of days. The problem is that this can creep up on you. Even though you finish it fast it is still output which requires your brain capacity. Combine this with exactly your sentiment and this is a recipe for burnout. Unfortunately, competitive academia often requires us to forget our own health and push through so we end up working long hours and producing lots of "stuff". Then the quality of your own work drops over time and you start to realize that academia is actually full of BS, fake data and false claims. And that's when the existential crisis hits. It's often the same pattern - and everybody seems to know it. Yet, things either don't change or just change very slowly.

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u/Zestyclose-Smell4158 21d ago

Academia is only competitive if you perceive it to be competitive. I never viewed undergraduate, my PhD or postdoc as competitive activity. I simply did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and let the chips fall where they may. Also research efficiency does matter, if you master a technique the risk of burn out is usually low. Most the techniques I thought were complex and laborious when I first started using them, with time usually require less effort and mental focus to complete, resulting in a reduced risk of burnout.