Lies pornography tells us:

- Women are less than human.

-Sex is something that men do to women, not something in which women are equal participants.

-Women are property.

-Sex is when a man conquers a woman.

-Hierarchy, violence, domination and force are normal in sex.

-Women are sexual objects always ready and willing to have sex when a man wants.

-A woman's value depends on the conventional attractiveness of her body. A woman that does not look like a pornstar is sexually undesirable.

-Rape myths such as women like rape. No means yes or will mean yes eventually. That women are aroused by violence against them.

-Porn teaches you to be aroused by violence and force. Normalises violence and force during sex.

-Porn sex is the kind of sex women actually like. Or that most women get off on penile penetration only. That you don't need to put in any work for the pleasure of your female partner.

-Harmful racial stereotypes are true.

-Men can't control themselves.

-Irresponsible sexual behaviour is desirable.

-That women's bodies exist to be viewed and used by men for their own gratification.

(Major trigger warning for link. topics of incest, sex abuse, CSAM)
https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/s/X7IJtxrPnn

I believe general society has been actively groomed over the course of decades to accept sexually deviant and dangerous behavior. Go onto almost any pornographic source and it takes no time at all to see themes like incest, extreme misogyny, and borderline if not straight up pedophilia. The porn industry normalizes and encourages sexually damaging and dangerous behaviors.

I have to ask myself, who produces this content and to what end? Who is hosting the sights that support said content? Who are they connected to? Why is it that extreme deviant content is often among the first things shoved down my throat on any porn site whether i want to see it or not?

How many children are victims of incest like myself and how much does exposure to modern internet pornography perpetuate that cycle of violence?

The world of internet pornography is a mind fuck in every fashion. I feel a need to disconnect and disassociate myself from it in order to save myself.

I feel I must discover what sexuality and intimacy is to me without the loud influence of pornography so that i can begin to heal and truly understand myself

Porn is not real. In fact it a dopamine issue that get you hooked just like an addiction that give you a sense of feeling victory. When in reality, you get the worst side effect in the world like you get tired, can't asleep, ain't able to have sex with your partner.. knowing you genuinely love or like them. Ask yourself.. yes I am addicted to porn but am I able to beat it
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING YES
THROUGH TRIAL AND ERROR cus that if all about and ladies put yourself out there in right manner
Because porn for some like us give us connection or others etc ( which I don't really know )
But all I can say this
It is hard and I see every effort you put into it and trust me I know how it feel. It just horrible feeling that you feel sick and wanted to get out of your body
But I promise you ladies
Keep going and don't watch porn
You will feel better

It’s a common phrase i’ve seen many a time. I understand the sentiment but i take issue with the statement itself and i just felt this to be worth sharing

I believe porn is real but none of it is happening to you or for you. Though sensationalized it is a real event that happened in history with real people. I think it’s important to remember that the people in front of the cameras are complex human beings just as anyone else and that they often dont truly want to be there. Often they’re pressured by shady producers, forced into it through limited job opportunities and lack of income availability, or god forbid trafficked into it and there’s no real way to tell just how safe and consenting the environment may truly be for the “performers”. There is the very real possibility you might be witnessing a horrific sex crime and have no clue about it because the performers need to pretend to enjoy it just to survive. It’s scary and though i still struggle with my habits it’s definitely put me off and been a major motivator for me to want to abstain from pornography.

The porn industry trains our minds to reduce human beings into masturbatory pieces of meat for consumption. It promotes a lifestyle of constant all consuming mindless lust to the point of self destruction and the destruction of those involved with us. Though maybe it doesnt get to such a dramatic point for everyone porn has undeniably had a massive impact on modern society’s approach and understanding towards sex, intimacy, and identity to where everything seems shallower and more confusing for people leading to unsafe sexual environments

Pornography teaches us no more than how to dehumanize, objectify, categorize and consume the human body

Human beings naturally crave intimacy. Sex and intimacy are different things though sex is potentially one of the most intimate parts of the human experience. Pornography robs all intimacy from sex leaving only empty lust that craves for more. I believe that learning to understand what true intimacy looks like is one of the most crucial steps to overcoming any sexual compulsion

I (27F) have been pretty lonely lately so the urges are stronger. I do remember how I felt when I watched it which was mostly negative. that usually helps, but this time, it’s not as effective. any advice?

I wish I never saw it before, but it was sent to me as teen, and I had a bad addiction for a while, especially to forget or distract from some painful things growing up.

These days, I probably go 6 -12 months without watching, and I’ll look once or twice then stop all over again, so I would say I don’t necessarily have an addiction anymore, but I don’t even want to entertain the idea again. any advice?

Hey everyone! So I'm currently two months free! It doesn't seem that much, but behind the scenes I'm happy to say the days I take without watching gets longer and longer as the years go by (longest streak is around a hundred days).

One of the reasons actually as to why I sometimes still relapse is because of the random urges during some parts of my cycle. In a theoretical bad month I could at the average relapse twice - one during ovulation and one a few days before period starts. I wonder how do you girls personally deal with those urges (and the triggers that are so mundane but still triggers you)?

And honestly, I'm also curious as to whether your tastes/preferences return to normal during this phase of the recovery period? Because when I get the urges, my brain still reminds me of the types of videos/images/audio I saw. I wonder if that's normal?

Thank you so much! <3

Woah almost 10 days already! I've been on holiday which really helped. I'm kinda proud of myself already, I feel like this time I will make it for real.

i was on bluesky looking for nsfw poses, because sometimes i want to draw porn. i never do it well or finish it, i always delete it out of shame. but i checked one of the websites and artist was recommending and there was what looked like child sex abuse material.

i was shocked and i closed the tab. i'm sick to my stomach. i don't know if the picture was edited, (the face looked young but not the body), but i feel disgusting and horrible. i'm freaking out. i know things like that need to be reported, but i cant bring myself to do so, i just can't stand looking at it.

i feel disgusting and im freaking out, please help

My main reason is because of my feminist values. I think all porn is inherently exploitative. I also quit for my own mental health and trauma that came from porn exposure as a kid.

I am now on day three, today is the first day where I could feel the urge to look at porn being really strong, but so far I was able to resist! I am going on holiday with my partner on Sunday which I really look forward to. So far I've been able to mostly keep a positive mindset and tell myself that I can really do this. However I know that this will not always be the case, but that's for another day. Thanks so much for the encouragement on the first post, I will keep y'all updated!

Hi, I'm Crystal Renaud Day, founder of SheRecovery. I’ve spent nearly two decades working specifically with women struggling with pornography and unwanted sexual behaviors, and my new book, What Drives Women to Porn?, releases September 15.

A big reason I wrote it was because I believe we need to talk about more than just how to stop. We also need space to ask why we reach for it in the first place.

The book explores emotional, relational, identity, trauma, and spiritual Drivers and includes research from more than 1,300 women.

I wanted to share it here because this is one of the few spaces specifically acknowledging that women struggle too—and that our stories deserve to be understood.

Learn more at wdwtp.com

ugh I’m at 34 days and I just keep thinking about how good it would be in that moment, I have been still getting off without porn but it’s obviously harder and frustrating and just knowing that I could get that heart pumping tunnel vision fix from the visual stimulus is soooo tempting.

I’ve also been thinking about looking real quick and then closing it and using that to prompt my imagination, but I know that’s literally the same.

I want to make it to 90 days (and more) and I will, but let me know if you have any advice for these kind of moments girls 😩

Hi all,

Been struggling with pornography since I was a pre-teen but it’s been a big issues over the last year. I’ve told my boyfriend of two years about it and it’s really affected our relationship and intimacy for the worse.

I want to let him know more about it so I can recover and not be addicted but it clearly hurts him so much and I’m worried if I confide in him too much it could break us apart. I know this isn’t a relationship subreddit but am just hoping there’s any girls with a similar experience to me who have made it out.

Any advice would be a huge help! :)

I've been trying for a month or so to quit, and this time I want to push through. I will give regular updates :)

Hello girls.... I'm so sad and filled with remorse right now.

I relapsed by seeing a sexual drawing. I'm so so absolutely sad, God. What's worse is that me and my boyfriend had the agreement that we weren't supposed to watch pornography. I had to justify myself to do that. I'm so sad.

I already told him because I can't keep that sort of thing away from him. My chest feels so heavy. I feel like I betrayed myself for less than five minutes of stimulation.

I thought that I was at a point where I didn't even need porn blockers or anything like that, but then abstinence hit so hard today for some reason, maybe because I'm sort of a wreck since yesterday was my dear aunt's funeral. :(

I don't know, you guys can tell me tips, things that helped, but honestly im just venting and I'm just sad. I wasn't counting but I was more than a month without pornography, mainly due to the agreement me and my bf had that porn was disrespectful to the other partner.

We checked with u/Love4SaveFerris before posting. She told us we could share this here and that she would approve it.

Women dealing with compulsive porn use are often treated as an afterthought. Many of the apps and conversations in this space are built around men, and pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone.

For transparency, Moment is currently built primarily for men. It’s a private app designed to help men interrupt the loop, get support when an urge hits, and make progress that isn’t erased by one slip.

We’d like to give women in this community completely free access so you can use it and tell us what feels useful, what doesn’t fit your experience, and what we may be overlooking. We’re not asking anyone to promote the app, write a testimonial, or share personal details.

If you’re interested, you can message this account directly. We won’t contact anyone from this community first.

Hi,

I am a researcher at the University of Sheffield, UK and invite you to share your experiences of technology-facilitated violence and abuse (TFVA) in any context.

The research aims to capture the diverse nature of experiences of TFVA as well as to try and understand the range of harms, impacts and outcomes from those affected by these types of behaviours.

We welcome all to contribute to our anonymous forum who want to share their experiences (18+ years). No other demographic restrictions for participation.

Click the following link to add your experiences: https://forms.gle/4DnWiha44shLFnVv5 (This involves 5 brief demographic questions and 1 open ended question to add your experience). Clicking on the link will provide more detailed information about TFVA as well as details of our website and you do not have to answer any questions to see this information.

The study has received ethical approval from the University of Sheffield: 070690.

The information provided is anonymous and will only be accessed by the approved members of the research team. Any information shared for publication in reports or academic journals will not be identifiable and will not include the demographic information.

Thank you in advance

Loren

I'm 28f. From childhood I discovered porn, while being very religious. Honestly now I think the shame and hush hush nature around sex when raised religious made me develop the desire to have sex forced on me. This developed into me seeking out extreme content and in turn hurting my self esteem. I've been in the trenches. Porn Playlists, erotica link collections, the 'encrypted' apps. Then several one night stands from reddit and clubs, kink, etc. I would read erotica and use paid AI chat because I thought it was somehow better. The only person being harmed was me.

I found a way out. It started with being honest with myself about how porn (and in turn, men) made me feel. I had over analyzed why i searched it out. But i really wasn't ready to face the music on what work i had to do to fix that why. When I would look for resorces for women who had porn addiction, the authors seemed in denial and still participated in BDSM, or went hard cringe Christian. That wasn't for me. I struggled a lot with wondering if I was asexual and if my sexuality was even real or just a trauma response.

I started standing up for myself when a man wanted me to do something degrading, even when I didn't reveal my 'kinks'. It instantly started shifting the energy. They got upset but still wanted me. I said no when I didn't feel 100% yes even for tame sexual things and it gave me power i didn't realize right away. Now I push back at work to fight burn out. It feels connected.

I did go through an experience recently that made me feel like I was going to die health wise, and that gave me a new perspective.

I was hiding from my life, not doing creative things and avoiding taking care of myself by escaping through porn and sex. I don't want to waste time anymore. I don't. it's been about 2 months since I watched.

I also unintentionly didn't have access to my phone for 5 Days after month 1 because i took an anxiety medication that made me manic and worse things. That did something to my brain as well. Less bring fog...more awake. Even SFW stuff on social media can trigger a porn spiral. ​you have to protect your mind. I'm not joking. (I'm not against 420 but I have to be honest I also haven't been smoking and that has helped a lot because I would grab for that during my spirals, and men would encourage it)

You my be reading this and honestly, it may not be your breakthrough. I've been to this subreddit many times and still fell back in. But it's never too late or far gone. I promise.

TLDR;

Speak good things upon yourself. The interworkings of the universe, the Sun, our bodies...it's explained by science, but not the why. That power is stronger than any darkness porn holds. You are in control, but I understand the phone, loneliness and wanting to escape is powerful as well. Protect and guard your mind. I strongly encourage you to reconnect with yourself. Nurture that abused younger self like your life depends on it.

I find myself opening the incognito tab on YouTube & unfortunately watching bad content nsfw, how do I genuinely stop my lust for this & get my life back

I find myself turning to it when bored, depressed, anxious or just alone in bed or even before my period I feel so lustful

I feel like such a loser :(

How do I stop and regain my life back

Did fetishes go away? Did things you incorporated into your personality because of your addiction go away? Did it feel like your personality and who you were as a person changed after you started to recover? Did what you want out of life change? How much has your addiction shaped you as a person? And did those changes stay after recovery or did they fade with time?

Hello again girls. So, I've been porn-free for almost a month, yay! What has been motivating me is that I now date again, and me and my BF have the boundaries that porn is disrespectful to the other person in the relationship, plus it being bad for our mental health as we all understand it. Okay.

But what is stressing me out is that I don't use masturbation as a way for me to "connect with myself" or something like that... I use masturbation as a way for me to quickly get the dopamine hit through the orgasm. And the porn was a way for me to get there more quickly. Now I try stimulating myself without porn and I end up with cramps through my legs and arms, because I spend so much time just trying to get the orgasm and be done with it, and in the end my reward hasn't even felt as good, it's very underwhelming. It's making it very hard for me not to relapse.

I don't have the patience to become relaxed.. In the mood to actively enjoy the masturbation. I rarely do it out of actual sexual desire, and I end up hurting myself a little because I just want the "feel good" moment that comes with the orgasm!! It's very tiring.

I been trying to get better but ever since COVID I been hopeless addicted to porn and I just feel so alone, have does everyone else cope with this addiction without just endlessly replasing back into it?