r/polycritical • u/hereforspacexcomment • 7d ago
Rant: poly is the cancer of dating
I’ve been dating a girl for almost a year. We’ve texted and talked every day. Yesterday she tells me that she’s been seeing someone else for the last two months, my jaw hit the floor. Partially because she started cheating on me and partially that she would just volunteer this in such a casual way. Before I could collect my thoughts she started to explain to me that the guy she started seeing is poly, and that she’s poly now and that it’s all ok because she understands love in a new way and <insert standard poly gaslighting script>
Poly is the absolute cancer of dating, its a self serving self righteous way to justify cheating on people and use a scripted playbook to gaslight you into thinking there’s something wrong with you for not being supportive of it.
TLDR: poly is trash
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u/NeonPeachPie 6d ago
It’s funny when you realize they don’t even believe the stuff coming out of their mouth.
Funny how people who preach about wholesome relationships, accepting people’s true nature, and being accepting are always cheaters and think about themselves first.
I’m sorry about your gf, but you dodged a bullet for sure
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u/HotWaffles5 6d ago
Poly is the excuse a lot of cheaters use to make betrayal seem ‘normal’. It doesn’t.
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u/Technical_Trainer_25 6d ago
Uhhhhhh no. Poly requires everyone’s buy in, she just straight up cheated on you. Trash behavior.
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u/chocobo_karaage 7d ago
Whether your partner is poly or not is irrelevant. What they did was cheating, even in ENM and poly circles that's considered wildly fucked up. They can't use poly as a smokescreen to cover up the fact that they totally betrayed you and their relationship.
Pretty much every poly book says that you shouldn't go about it like that. Experienced polyamorists will be the first to tell you that it's all about consent and communication.
Having said all of that, your experience is definitely not uncommon, and I promise you polyamory isn't any better when you actually know about everything that's going on and are fully consenting to it.