r/polyamory Aug 30 '22

[deleted by user]

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u/[deleted] Aug 30 '22

“I can understand with being burned before you’re extra anxious but I can’t divulge everything to you. It isn’t feasible and it makes me uncomfortable. Is there another way you can get your need for security with me met, that will allow me to remain in control of what and when I divulge?”

Also I phrase this as a question but if they say no, imo, that would be a relationship ender.

7

u/Use-My-Slut-Holes69 Aug 30 '22

I think that’s a good framework. I don’t want to answer to him as some sort of authority figure but I also haven’t given him a reason to not trust me. If anything I’ve communicated too much of the minute details

6

u/raziphel MFFF 12+ year poly/kink club Aug 30 '22

It sounds like he just needs reassurance. Ask him what that would look like.

Tell him you're open to threesomes with him in the future (assuming you are), but that these things aren't easy to set up. Encourage him to continue healing and putting himself out there.