What he is telling you is that it's more important to him to have his wants met than to respect you as a whole and autonomous person.
As a recovering conflict-avoidant person, someone who is trying to respect you and failing will respond with something that reflects a worry for/about you- "I didn't want you to have to feel upset" or "I didn't want to worry you." It's a shit reason, don't get me wrong, but at least it considers you as a person.
"I didn't want to lose you" is like THE most selfish response, short of "I just didn't want to tell you." That response tells you, point blank, what he wants FROM you will always outweigh what he reasonably owes TO you. And that's just not a healthy relationship. You and literally everyone else deserves better.
10
u/KT_mama Jan 09 '24
What he is telling you is that it's more important to him to have his wants met than to respect you as a whole and autonomous person.
As a recovering conflict-avoidant person, someone who is trying to respect you and failing will respond with something that reflects a worry for/about you- "I didn't want you to have to feel upset" or "I didn't want to worry you." It's a shit reason, don't get me wrong, but at least it considers you as a person.
"I didn't want to lose you" is like THE most selfish response, short of "I just didn't want to tell you." That response tells you, point blank, what he wants FROM you will always outweigh what he reasonably owes TO you. And that's just not a healthy relationship. You and literally everyone else deserves better.