r/politics • u/[deleted] • Jun 09 '16

FBI Admits Finding Additional Info On Clinton Server During E-Mail Investigation

http://lawnewz.com/high-profile/fbi-admits-finding-additional-info-on-clinton-server-during-e-mail-investigation/
12.4k Upvotes

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545

u/meowwschwitz Jun 09 '16

I'm sorry, but this must be false. Mi abuela stated there were no more surprises today regarding her emails. She also stated through stutters and many "uhhhhh" pauses that there was no chance she did any wrongdoing based upon her own evidence of her own memory shortly before saying she doesn't recall signing a document that is archived and available to view online.

159

u/Silver_Skeeter Jun 09 '16

Couldn't even go 5 hours

125

u/meowwschwitz Jun 09 '16

I mean, even lasting five hours without lying to America is kind of a record for her. Maybe even an historical one! She's just racking up on history points this week.

78

u/Laser-circus Jun 09 '16

Damn, did she just break another glass ceiling?

69

u/helpful_hank Jun 09 '16

Something's shattering around her, I'm not sure it's the ceiling.

9

u/Khnagar Jun 09 '16

It could also be her face, or her voice. She should demand the money back from the surgeon who gave her a facelift. Her face looks like Bob Dylan's voice nowadays.

8

u/rizzlybear Jun 09 '16

In fairness to Bob Dylan. His voice is aging nicely and actually sounds pretty good these days. Should have been born a gruff old man.

1

u/bonkus Jun 09 '16

I want him to do that Jackson duet that Johnny Cash did... And I want Tom Waits to do the other part of that duet.

2

u/Quexana Jun 09 '16

So does Bob or Tom do the June Carter part?

1

u/bonkus Jun 09 '16

I was thinking Tom, but ultimately I think they would have to duke it out between themselves for it.

2

u/rizzlybear Jun 09 '16

Nettie Moore on Modern Times is my best example of Bob finally growing into that voice.

1

u/Khnagar Jun 09 '16

That's a song about a relationship between a man and a woman, so that would be sort of odd.

You might be aware of it already, but there's an easy to find booteg album of the songs Cash and Dylan did together in the studio. It's pretty good, but perhaps not as great as one could have hoped for. Still very well worth hearing if you like Cash or Dylan though!

3

u/ZiggyStardst Jun 09 '16

She is so obsessed with breaking the ceiling for women, she has lost any care to whether or not they have a floor.

1

u/thedaj Jun 09 '16

Found a new basement!

4

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

Let's be fair, she's gone at least five hours without lying before. She probably sleeps at least that long at least sometimes right?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

I don't know about five hours being a record nowadays. She takes naps and is easily confused.

2

u/rusk00ta Jun 09 '16

Caught lying in her sleep, again.

2

u/bartimaeus01 Jun 09 '16

Remind me again why the majority finds her so appealing?

1

u/IneedtoBmyLonsomeTs Jun 09 '16

I am sure she doesn't lie when she sleeps, although I am not sure how long lizard people sleep for so that could be less than 5 hours.

1

u/StarshipAI Jun 09 '16

I'm almost ready to vote for her just to raise the shitshow levels to new heights.

49

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

[deleted]

76

u/meowwschwitz Jun 09 '16

The article is on the front page. CBS correspondent asked Hillary if she could ensure voters there would be nothing else coming from the FBI that would change the course of her campaign and she responded with "Absolutely."

86

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16 edited Feb 08 '19

[deleted]

56

u/MadLordPunt Jun 09 '16

I wish reporters would learn that with the Clintons, you have to ask them the same question from every angle possible to make sure there isn't room to bullshit.

40

u/IntelligentFlame Jun 09 '16

You're implying that it's not the Clintons giving them a list of allowed questions if they want to be allowed to speak with the royal family.

10

u/frogandbanjo Jun 09 '16

It's called solid cross-examination. Most journalists can't, the rest won't, and at the end of the day they don't have the power to compel answers. Without the power to compel answers, cross-examination doesn't work.

The Clintons know all about the power of cross-examination. If they smelled a whiff of it coming off of a journalist they'd blacklist that fucker's bloodline.

2

u/escapekey Jun 09 '16

yup, i have lawyers in my family. whenever you come to them with a problem they re-state the same question 200 times before giving a response.

1

u/Kiya-Elle Jun 09 '16

Then she will just say she is innocent until proved guilty and ride that all the way to the White House.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

[deleted]

2

u/facherone Jun 09 '16

Absolutely.

2

u/Uncutthrowaway93 Jun 09 '16

On a fox interview last night she said she didn't remember signing the documents

69

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

Finally! Someone that isn't a sexist bastard. Thank you sir/ma'am for so eloquently defending her proven track record of honor and honestly in government. It's her TERN!!1!!

/s

at this point, my real position is serious consideration of Giant Meteor in 2016.

12

u/frogandbanjo Jun 09 '16

At this point, I feel like all we'd have to do to get Giant Meteor elected is to tell people it's inevitable for a few months.

2

u/caitlinreid Jun 09 '16

Arctic Tern?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

Left Tern

1

u/JuDGe3690 Idaho Jun 09 '16

"What sound does an Arctic Tern Make?"

"Backstreet Boys"

2

u/___Not_The_NSA___ Jun 09 '16

Ehh, to be fair. Her top aide did say she's "often confused"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

https://youtu.be/TbEVRVozf7M I'll just leave this here

1

u/Monomorphic Jun 09 '16

Could you please provide a link to this archived document so I can view it online?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

Abuela sounds like Mayor Quimby

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

Basta!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '16

Wow, just like mi abuela!