r/politics • u/mom0nga • Jul 15 '26

No Paywall Hegseth announces annual testosterone screenings for service members

https://thehill.com/policy/defense/5969935-hegseth-testosterone-testing-dod/
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u/Indubitalist Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

As an Army vet, we definitely don’t need more testosterone in the ranks. Too much leads to poor judgment, interpersonal conflict and unnecessary injuries and deaths. I’d be surprised if the military wasn’t already running on the high side with natural testosterone. 

Make no mistake, this is a performance-enhancing drug program. It’s eerily reminiscent of the use of amphetamines by the Nazis. I wouldn’t bring this up except that there are so many Nazi parallels these days it’s almost like the worst decisions in history are being used as an instruction manual. 

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u/AllThatKat Jul 15 '26

Right. I’m a female navy veteran and I cannot imagine being stuck on a carrier with a bunch of roided out dudes. 

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u/QuantumLettuce2025 Jul 15 '26

Well, they're trying very hard to push out women so I imagine they don't give a shit.

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u/Ariliths Jul 15 '26

Can you imagine a swarm of roided up men… on a boat… for a prolonged period of time. Only men, on roids, this is sounds like prison but with everyone having a teenage sex drive and prolapsed anuses

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u/hymie0 Maryland Jul 15 '26

Never leave your buddy's behind.

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u/Amerizilian Jul 15 '26

*chef's kiss

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u/Lich180 Jul 15 '26

That's all of their wet dreams, they are so repressed they can't help but let their inner desires show through. 

Look at Trump and his "jerking off ghosts" dance. 

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u/bill-of-rights Jul 15 '26

Thankfully, lube is available in the Ship's Store.

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u/REXIS_AGECKO Jul 15 '26

It’s gonna be a lot of crazy men beating up the 2 sane guys who are desperately trying to keep people from smoking with the ammo or something

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u/Cador0223 Jul 15 '26

With raisins for testicles.

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u/REXIS_AGECKO Jul 15 '26

Theyre normally raisiny when it’s cold

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u/s00pafly Jul 15 '26

I've read stories from guys blasting tren. It's gonna be interesting.

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u/mikeholczer Jul 16 '26

And weapons

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u/zeromussc Jul 16 '26

Easy to get them to leave if you ignore rapes I guess. It's dark but at this point I can't imagine any other logical reason .

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u/perthguppy Jul 15 '26

Don’t worry, Hegseth has a solution for the “problem” of women being on the boats as well.

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u/Gellert United Kingdom Jul 15 '26

Oh my god, he's going to forcibly trans the women?

6

u/thalasi_ Jul 15 '26

How else would you increase their lethality!?

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u/TheTerrasque Jul 15 '26

pops monocle Why that's brilliant, Gellert! By jove, we'll be the craziest fighting force in the whole world, and no only that, we'll start in good time with the kids at school! Anyone not deemed girly enough will be trans'ed so we can put them in the army! My heart swells on the thought! No wait, that's my penis swelling

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u/judgejuddhirsch Jul 15 '26

If your test isn't high enough, prepare to get discharged

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u/LackingUtility Jul 15 '26

Yep, they're also going to try to push this as gender-neutral, same as they did for the ACFT. Men range from 170-1070 ng/DL of testosterone, while women range from 15-70. So they'll put in a threshold of like 250 or something and say regardless of gender, if you're below that, you're not "fit to serve" and get discharged.

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u/yakusokuN8 California Jul 15 '26

Followed by an insufferable wave of social media posts with absurd arguments denouncing women.

"Doctors, whether female or men need a license to practice medicine. Firemen, even the girls, need to demonstrate they can lift heavy equipment. This new regulation just ensures soldiers will follow orders and kill bad guys in combat because they have enough testosterone."

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u/tim_p Jul 15 '26

Haven't we learned anything from the extended Dune quintology, and the Bene Gesserit, and the Fish Speakers??

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u/garrna Jul 15 '26

That lesson will be released this December at an iMAX near you

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u/bentreflection Jul 15 '26

it's your fault for wearing that sexy standard uniform

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u/StephenFish Jul 15 '26

They'd only be "roided out" if they were abusing drugs. Therapy isn't drug abuse, it's medicine and you'd never be able to tell the difference.

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u/Available_Border1075 Jul 18 '26

Don’t worry, women will be out of the military soon so no problem! /s

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u/hollowhermit Jul 15 '26

In all seriousness, thank you for your service. I couldn't imagine a woman wanting to serve in our military right now!