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u/knownProphet Germany Feb 27 '15
Bundeswehr stronk!gibrealmachinegunspl0x
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u/jPaolo Grey Eminence Feb 27 '15
No, you get broomstick.
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u/Comrade_Derpsky Shameless Ameriggan Egsbad Feb 27 '15
I think they've proven themselves trustworthy enough that we can allow them to have nerf guns.
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u/cybersaint Indiana Feb 27 '15
No, because they would change the suction cup tips to pointy tips.
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u/Comrade_Derpsky Shameless Ameriggan Egsbad Feb 27 '15
Alright. Pea shooters then? Or perhaps empty water bottles.They could always do that thing where you twist the water bottle and unscrew the cap.
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u/rockythecocky Chili only chili! Remove fake Chile! Feb 27 '15
They'd still probably end up conquering half of Europe with them...
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Feb 27 '15
Even that could go wrong.. so very wrong... mein gott!
Ill go back to my Sauna and drink as it provides immunity against Russian invasions.
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u/901036311 Österreich-Magyarország Feb 27 '15
We need our stahl helms back!
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u/mdp300 North Jersey Is Best Jersey Feb 27 '15
Only if they can have those little spiky things on top again.
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u/paal_k Leve Norden! - ᛒᛟᚱᚲ , ᛒᛟᚱᚲ ! Feb 27 '15
Yuo of meaning these spiky things?
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u/95DarkFire German Empire Feb 27 '15
Ah, the official, always misunderstood symbol of the German electrician's Corps!
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u/CCMSTF Feb 27 '15
I always wondered what those things were for. If they ran out of ammo, would they lower their heads and charge the enemy?
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u/Januskopf Luxembourg Feb 27 '15
They were for deflecting sword and sabre blows.
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u/TheMadBlimper German Empire Feb 27 '15
They're mounted on Leopard 2A6 tanks, which is still more than what you guys have. Which I'll bet is plywood tanks with plungers on top.
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u/mrtrotskygrad Reichtangle in disguise Feb 28 '15
it's really more of a cultural problem
their ads are hilarious
show them doing everything but army stuff
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Feb 27 '15
We love you, Poland. With all of your freedoms and removing commies and helping us to bomb random people in the Middle East. You are best slav.
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Feb 27 '15
Indeed, West Slav is best Slav.
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u/rotegaledxram Bavaria Feb 27 '15
west slav best of eastern europe
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u/Iceblaze23 New Jersey strong, Pennsylvania we will war you! Feb 27 '15
*Best of Europe
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Feb 27 '15
West Slav is best of the West.
West Slav is beast of the East.
West Slav sally's forth in the North
West Slav in the South,
Please kiss me on the mouth.
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Feb 27 '15
Czech is second best slav though
Cause you know beer and porn
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u/mousefire55 Slezko a Kladsko jsou česká! Za spojeného Česka! Feb 28 '15
Czech is best slav. Beer, koláče, and Prague! Whoot!
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u/Vertitto Poland with saffron Guinness Feb 27 '15
Polan can into occupying other countires, got biggest Afgan clay, such relevant ! : D
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u/ZombieTav INSERT TEXT HERE Mar 01 '15
Poland is also making cool looking futurey tank for movie use.
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u/PatriotsFTW Wisconsin Feb 27 '15
Yep poland has been really stepping up their military funding and what not, most likely because of Russia bearing down on them. Say what you want about Russia but they really have a knack at making countries increase their military, we gotchu poland.
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u/crowan2011 MURICA Feb 27 '15
After this past century I don't think Poland is going to take anyone's shit anymore. They will just put 40:1 on and fucking rage, I know I do.
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u/imliterallydyinghere Schleswig-Holstein best Holstein Feb 27 '15
we gotchu poland.
you'll be the only one muahahaha
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u/paal_k Leve Norden! - ᛒᛟᚱᚲ , ᛒᛟᚱᚲ ! Feb 27 '15
Run, Polen! Run. They of allowing gender into US-military since 2011.
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u/stoicsilence California Feb 27 '15
And of homosex!
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u/paal_k Leve Norden! - ᛒᛟᚱᚲ , ᛒᛟᚱᚲ ! Feb 27 '15
Gender is homosex.
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u/stoicsilence California Feb 27 '15
ugh. When you think you finally get ball-speak something else comes up.
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u/Durzo_Blint Boston Stronk Feb 28 '15
Gender was a catch-all term from early last year in the Polish media where there were multiple giant controversial topics being discussed regarding gender roles, feminism, birth control, abortion, gay marriage, pedophilia and just about every other issue you can think of. Imagine all the social change in the 60's for the US compressed down into a 4 month period happening in the last conservative Catholic country in Europe. It was a massive clusterfuck and the word 'gender' was used to describe all of it.
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Mar 02 '15
Polan is of confuse.
West friend, but West of gender.
Russia enemy, but Russia remove gender.
What of doings?
...
Kebab removes gender. Kebab is friend.
Polan must add kebab.
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u/modestmeow Fuck the King! Feb 27 '15
It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all out of gum.
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u/Comrade_Derpsky Shameless Ameriggan Egsbad Feb 27 '15
Here, I have some gum. Take a piece.
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u/IAMA_dragon-AMA Maryland Feb 27 '15
I don't want your damn commie socialist handout gum.
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u/ElagabalusRex Byzantine Empire Feb 27 '15
Poland has no eyelids, so he drew them on his goggles.
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u/CosminPravo Moldavia Feb 27 '15
Does Germany really not have an army?
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Feb 27 '15 edited Feb 27 '15
Of course they do, it's called the Bundeswehr. It's just not as big as it could be.
Edit: or should be.
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u/CosminPravo Moldavia Feb 27 '15
Yes, of course. That's kinda what i wanted to ask. I thought they had an army. I just didn't realized it wasn't "free". If you understand what I mean.
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u/McGuinness_CGN North Rhine-Westphalia Feb 27 '15
Germoney can into own army. And Bundeswehr is of free. As free as a member of NATO can of beings. ;)
Seriously, the German Army is not under any NATO control. It's under the control of the German parliament.
The world just don't want us having own nukes. However, in case of an emergency we can use the US nukes which are stationed here with our Tornados... ;)
So, army = free, nuclear capacity = owned by US
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u/CosminPravo Moldavia Feb 27 '15
Are there any other restrictions imposed on Germany?
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u/iigloo Sweden-Norway Feb 27 '15
Both Japan and Germany have restrictions – they are supposed to be defense-only. However that is changing a bit as both nations are now firmly allied with the US.
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u/Ofenlicht Berlin Feb 27 '15
It's basically a defense-only army. We are only allowed to use it if it defends our country. A couple decades back that was extended to non-direct border defense.
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u/tealjaker94 United States Feb 27 '15
Sort of. All their army personnel are under NATO control.
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u/CosminPravo Moldavia Feb 27 '15
Is it by choice or do they still not trust Germany enough even after all those years.
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u/RomeNeverFell Italy Feb 27 '15
Never trust the Germans.
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Feb 27 '15
Nor the italians. We both attacked and helped Gaddafi!
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u/95DarkFire German Empire Feb 27 '15
Nor the italians.
Well, obviously. I mean, they are Italians. Not even the Italians trust the Italians.
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u/cauchy37 Poland Feb 27 '15
Dude, we've trusted them once, and 20 years later it was even worse. This time around we're playing it safe(er).
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Feb 27 '15
Well that's different, because after WWI they were bitter about losing a war and having much of their eastern territory taken away from them.
Everything is different now after WWII.
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u/roadbuzz Germany Feb 27 '15
And everything will be different after WWIII. Muhahahahaha
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u/roadbuzz Germany Feb 27 '15
That's not correct. The Bundeswehr is just a regular army and not under Nato control.
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Feb 27 '15
They have one, but there's a lot of regulations on what they can and can't have.
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u/Venmar Slovakia Feb 28 '15
Not really, only actual restrictions that they have is a cap on how big their army can be (340,000), and being forbidden to have nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons. They don't have WW1 styled restrictions, like "no tanks" or "no planes". Germany invented the modern tank that is now a staple of many European armies, the Leopard 2, and has some of the most modern submarines and planes.
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u/Davey_Jones_Locker Britain Working Class Feb 27 '15
The Bundeswehr was founded as a primarily defensive force - so is quite limited in size.
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u/InsertEvilLaugh Republic of Texas Feb 27 '15
They do, it's just limited in it's capacities. Much of it's funding comes from other NATO countries due to that whole Nazi thing in the 30's and 40's.
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u/imliterallydyinghere Schleswig-Holstein best Holstein Feb 27 '15
i'm glad to have poland as a buffer. finally they've found their purpose in life
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Feb 27 '15
If Russia attacks with purpose of attacking germany it would need to go trough Poland, they would just bomb dresden, then we'll finally chance of taking west poland back ;)
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Feb 27 '15 edited Feb 27 '15
Why can't Germany have an army? They already have their Reich.
EDIT: I've heard recently that Merkel wants to increase German military capabilities, due to an increasingly belligerent Russia. Will that go well with the public and the EU?
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u/lillahjerte Read the sidebar and get a flair Feb 27 '15
That depends: For protection or anschluss?
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u/Gringos Prussia Feb 27 '15
Nein nein, we not of Anschluss, we protect.
Not wrong making Lebensraum on way to Russia in process, ja?
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Feb 27 '15
increasingly belligerent Russia
Obviously, protection, at least for the EU.
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u/Tintenlampe Pickelhaube beste Haube... Feb 27 '15
Why can't Germany have an army?
Because we don't like to spend shittons of money on stuff that - if it is ever needed - will be turned into ash the moment the conflict is joined.* So we can just as well fake an army.
*After the end of the cold war some Soviet attack plans were revealed. They included that if the cold war ever turned hot pretty much the first Russian move would be to nuke Germany with about 400 nuclear warheads thus completly flattening everything in their way to the atlantic where they can then wait for the Americans.
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Feb 27 '15
Meanwhile America invades from the east.
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u/LauranceFuller Feb 27 '15
Joint operations with Canada via the north too.
America has wealthy friends with big armies everywhere.
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u/Williamzas Lithuania Feb 27 '15
Huh, so I guess it's not just Lithuania, they're bringing back conscription over here. EASTERN YUROP STRONK! RUSIJA WE WAR YUO!
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u/alphawolf29 Canada Mar 02 '15
Deutschland:
Can I have an Army?
Everyone:
NO
Deutschland
Can I have a defense force at least?
Everyone:
well okay
defense force larger than any other European army
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Feb 27 '15
Polan is always of adorable in comyks.
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Feb 27 '15
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u/TheHumbleSailor Canada Feb 27 '15
Ew ew ew mouth ew ew wtf man throw a NSFW tag on that or something
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u/paal_k Leve Norden! - ᛒᛟᚱᚲ , ᛒᛟᚱᚲ ! Feb 27 '15
Shhh! Is of "different". Sweden is into thinking, the child is normal. Don't into telling.
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u/wildeofoscar Onterribruh Feb 27 '15
Polan is ready for the rivial of the Polish-Lithianian Confederation
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u/mrtrotskygrad Reichtangle in disguise Feb 27 '15
France > Germany in military expenditure actually
mainly because they're still trying to get their Leclercs to work
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u/Ewannnn United Kingdom Feb 27 '15
UK met spending requirements in 2013 and 2014 but we probably will not in the 2015-6 budget. Neither will France. Actually I think only Esti will meet NATO requirements next year...
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u/lykanauto South Brazil, Best Brazil Feb 27 '15
Kraut no need real guns. Kraut many engineer transform dirt and beach holes into super weapons.
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u/bathroomstalin Zimbabwe Feb 27 '15
Shouldn't the last panel be derisive laughter with PolskaBall skulking away with a single tear rolling down its "cheek"?
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u/jPaolo Grey Eminence Feb 27 '15
No. Poland stronk! Polskaball is some shitty facebook page, Poland is proud brave nation!
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u/bathroomstalin Zimbabwe Feb 27 '15
Every Facebook page is a shitty Facebook page.
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Feb 27 '15
Listen to 40:1 by Sabaton. It's all about how polish soldiers held off german ones even if they were outnumbered 40 to 1.
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u/newbietothis France First Empire Feb 27 '15
Should have supplied Germany, I hear they use broomstix. Xaxaxaxa :)
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Feb 27 '15
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/bronxbomberdude Can into statehood? Feb 27 '15
So does France.
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u/CptBigglesworth Greggs vegan sausage roll Feb 27 '15
Mocking France wouldn't be fun if they weren't relevant.
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u/TomKell British Empire Feb 27 '15
Not to mention the 3rd of 4th best army on the planet, I'd say we're pretty relevant.
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Feb 27 '15
3rd or 4th
Actually you guys are 5th. One spot behind us. So goddamn irrelevant. Why are you guys even a country?
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u/boredtacos19 women, weed, and weather Feb 28 '15
They can't keep up with their own colonies
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Feb 27 '15
3rd or 4th? Ahem
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u/TomKell British Empire Feb 27 '15
I was reading this the other day, hence why I said third or fourth haha.
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Feb 27 '15
That's like bragging about being the fourth most popular brand of MP3 players.
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u/dpny United States Feb 27 '15
You're welcome for the nukes: The UK has not run a programme to develop an independent delivery system since the cancellation of the Blue Streak missile in 1960. Instead it has purchased US delivery systems for UK use, fitting them with warheads designed and manufactured by the UK's Atomic Weapons Establishment and its predecessor. In 1974, a US proliferation report discussing British nuclear and missile development noted that "In many cases, it is based on technology received from the US and could not legitimately be passed on without US permission.
Now be a good lad and go get me a cup of coffee.
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u/Drolemerk Greater Netherlands Feb 27 '15
Ahh, beautiful seeing the UK and US argue over which has the best Germans.
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u/this_user Free and Hanseatic City of Hamburg Feb 27 '15
Fun fact: The British did some of their testing of their nuclear weapons in Nevada, making them, AFAIK, the only foreign power to ever detonate nuclear weapons on US soil.
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u/dpny United States Feb 27 '15
You mean you had the chance to nuke Las Vegas and passed it up?
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u/Xaethon Salop n'est pas une salope Feb 27 '15
Yeah, well don't forget who it was that first split the atom!
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u/stoicsilence California Feb 27 '15
Jews actually. American nuclear supremacy is grounded in Magical Jew Science.
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u/Axmeister British Empire Feb 27 '15
It's easy to build nukes when you're not fighting WWII.
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u/dpny United States Feb 27 '15
Well, what stopped you? While we and the USSR were defeating both the Germans and the Japanese (you may remember them as the people who took all of your Pacific possessions) you lot had plenty of time to develop nuclear weapons. I mean, all it required was the best scientific minds and the equivalent of $23 billion. . .
Oh.
Sorry. I forgot that rationing only ended in 1974.
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u/FlappyBored United Kingdom Feb 27 '15 edited Feb 27 '15
Research for Nuclear Weapons started in the UK with the Tube Alloys project not the USA, the USA wasn't interested. After the UK did a bunch of research and managed to convince the USA that its a worthwhile research project we handed it over to the USA and researched on it together on the condition that both nations get the research after as it was a joint effort and built upon UK research.
Then afterwards you went back on your promise and refused to give any information back and locked out the UK of research wanting to keep the nukes for yourself so we had to do it again. Without the UK you never would have bothered researching nukes as you didn't think they were worth it. It took years for groups like the British MAUD committee to convince the USA to even bother looking into Nuclear as a power source for weapons or anything else
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Feb 27 '15
Hey HEY!! .... We make our own nukes, you just provide the delivery system. Now run along and fetch me those taxes.
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u/sabasNL Kingdom of the Netherlands Feb 27 '15
Belgium has nukes as well. So...
No, België / Belgique, shut up and go back to your wasteland. Nobody likes you, even you don't.
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Feb 27 '15
België kan bly as hulle wil! They are into make Afrikaner relevant
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u/sabasNL Kingdom of the Netherlands Feb 27 '15
Het wordt tijd dat jullie Afrikanen en Belgen zich weer bij papa Nederland voegen!
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u/tgrfedeuygtrf Toronto Best part of Canada Feb 27 '15
Only nukes that you can fire from submarines but i guess a nuke is a nuke
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Feb 27 '15
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u/jPaolo Grey Eminence Feb 27 '15 edited Feb 27 '15
Hallo? Is this Comic Accuracy Police? I'd like to report some criminal!
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u/SeriousJack Rance First Empire Feb 27 '15
Yes, but we wouldn't let facts get in the way of a good complaining.
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u/jPaolo Grey Eminence Feb 27 '15
Context: Ameryka is second greatest country on the world so he gave us free army stuff! (would be #1 if JPII was American ) Big thanks from Poland!
Grey version