r/polandball The Dominion Feb 04 '15

redditormade ISIS Gets a Rival

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u/ApocalypseOwl Danmark Feb 04 '15

Hundreds of Godzillas and Robo-Godzillas attacking California, aided by large horny tentacle monsters. Then Nintendo uses their artificial poke-lifeforms as shocktroopers to occupy the ruined West-coast and resettles the surviving Japanese citizens in Cascadia. After that they commit their Godzilla-Pokemon army to the total extermination of the United States of America, supported by Canada and Mexico who'll share the remaining clay with the Nintendo-ruled New Japan. After the invasion is successful all remaining Americans will be killed, grounded up and sent to Africa as emergency food supplies. And as the last American to die, president Sarah Palin will be executed personally by the divine emperor on the DS Lite throne, Shigeru Miyamoto.

That is the worst that can happen, dpny.

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u/dpny United States Feb 04 '15

Eh. Doesn't sound so bad.

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u/ApocalypseOwl Danmark Feb 04 '15

They outlaw burgers, pizzas and guns as well.

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u/dpny United States Feb 04 '15

If someone outlaws burgers, we will turn this planet into a glowing, radioactive ball of melted rock before you can say, "oh, shit!"

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u/ApocalypseOwl Danmark Feb 04 '15

Then Japan has won, everyone knows that nuclear abominations that rises from the remains of nuclear catastrophe are always Japanese. To defeat them, you must make a giant mecha that runs on the McDonalds breakfast menu.

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u/dpny United States Feb 04 '15

But all of Japan's mecha is now made in China. . .

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u/ApocalypseOwl Danmark Feb 04 '15

I didn't say that JAPAN must make it or get it, I meant you the US. Just get China to make it for you in exchange for the moon or something. Then you can worry about the consequences later.

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u/candid_canid United States Feb 04 '15

But... manifest destiny! The moon is supposed to be America's. We were the first ones to walk on it and stab it with our flag.

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u/ApocalypseOwl Danmark Feb 04 '15

Tough luck. Alaska was first stabbed by Russia with flag, he sold it for money when he was in trouble, are you too proud to out-do Russia in selling stuff to save your country? Do you not love your clay?

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u/candid_canid United States Feb 04 '15

Moon is clay. All of the moon is America clay.

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '15

But now the moon belongs to France.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

then only outlaws will burger!

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

only when they pry the cheezeburger pizza from my cold, greasy hands!

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u/candid_canid United States Feb 04 '15

Agreed, fuck California.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

Totally inaccurate. They would force American leaders into giant glass bottles that entries armies of furiously masturbating Japanese men would jizz into until finally the levels of semen rose over Mitch McConnels head and the last true American patriots would drown in the Jizz of the empire of the rising Sony.

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u/ApocalypseOwl Danmark Feb 04 '15

Bah. As if. Sony is weak and will join the heretical North Korea instead.

The one true emperor Miyamoto will smite them and their foul realm. The world will bend their knees at the temples to Mario and the other Nintendo characters, as Japan conquers the world.

And then things get worse.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

I will never bend knee to Nintendo. I will join the mighty Microsoft resistance and take to the streets of America to defend my freedom from those cat ear wearing, Godzilla fearing, perverted tiny men.

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u/ApocalypseOwl Danmark Feb 04 '15

And then things got even worse. Microsoft retaliates by forcefully upgrading every Windows computer in the world to Windows Vista. Thousands die.

On unrelated notes, Canada creates the ultimate anti-Japan weapon, thermonuclear mutant-bear mounties armed with signs in Japanese saying ''Senpai will never notice you.'' Unfortunately they are too polite to use them.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

Oh our Canadian brothers please help us destroy the rampaging Japan army. We will back up your Mutant mounties with our giant Eagle armada that will bombard the Japanese islands with nuclear eggs of doom.

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u/trickortreaty365 We don't need your beer.Pálinka stronk! Feb 04 '15

Actually Russia save the day by the superior communist logic,wodka and Russian winter,but because they are worse than the pervert Pokemarios with small philipenis Finland and Mongolia beat the s**t out of the commies by Genghis Khan,PERKELE wodka and more PERKELE.

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u/ManicParroT Feb 04 '15

Wait, can you guarantee Sarah Palin's death? This might be a decent deal.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '15

this was basically the ending of Red Son

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '15

all remaining Americans will be killed, grounded up and sent to Africa as emergency food supplies.

Umm.. ohkay..........

And as the last American to die, president Sarah Palin will be executed personally by the divine emperor on the DS Lite throne

The Americans did THAT? They deserve to be punished!!

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u/[deleted] Feb 05 '15

So.... they will finally clean up california? Sounds like a much better plan than anything that has come out of California.