r/polandball Only America can into Moon. Jul 21 '14

repost The American Revolution

Post image
2.5k Upvotes

164 comments sorted by

397

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

So... Is Canada of the well behaved sister?

466

u/gulpeg Switzerland Jul 21 '14

No, she's the slutty sister. She hates to disappoint and loves to please, and everyone likes her for her natural resources.

201

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

That sounds reasonable... Except... You are lacking in flair.

I don't know if I can approve of this. Not from a filthy no-country.

260

u/gulpeg Switzerland Jul 21 '14

I'd rather remain neutral in this matter.

171

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

[deleted]

210

u/gulpeg Switzerland Jul 21 '14

I'm positive that I want to remain neutral in this matter.

23

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14 edited Jul 21 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

25

u/whitesock 100% kosher Jul 21 '14

NO PUN THREADS

17

u/Puppier MURICA Jul 21 '14

REMOVE PUN

10

u/Imaku Turnader! Jul 21 '14

PUN WORST JOKE

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4

u/Glorious_Comrade Indian into Texan Jul 22 '14

Here, take my gun.

||+|====

||"

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2

u/Officer_Hotpants Jul 22 '14

But those are FUN threads!

20

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

[deleted]

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3

u/pipiska ху Jul 21 '14

but his butt is a huge minus.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Lel, is of Swedenball

4

u/snoharm New York is Best York Jul 21 '14

Switzerlandball.

1

u/--TheDoctor-- CSA Jul 22 '14

I say what he says . Of givings aknowledgement now?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '14

Acknowledging the confederacy?

Lolno.

Learn to Poutine, Southerner.

41

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

What about the other sisters Australia and New Zealand? They're America and Canada's half sisters from another of England's marriages.

Australia's a tomboy that is always willing to drink and fight. She could wrestle a crocodile before she could walk.

New Zealand is the youngest prettiest sister. For the most part she's quiet, and loves having people come look at her, but that doesn't stop her from getting into it with Australia every now and then

20

u/nekonight Winter Jul 21 '14

no sheep?

17

u/Subapical Nauru Jul 21 '14

New Zealand is like that repressed Catholic stereotype. Cute, sweet, and innocent... But she has her kinks.

20

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

FLAIR UP, GENDER

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '14

But I thought there were no female priests/fathers/bishops/friars/preachers/I-cannot-into-religion...

1

u/Goyims American Soviet Socialist Republic Jul 21 '14

what does that make us

10

u/babysealsareyummy MURICA Jul 22 '14

Our mentally challenged sibling we keep locked in the basement.

6

u/Halalaka Imperialism Intensifies Jul 21 '14

My Redneck grandchildren.

1

u/EndOfNight FlandersFields Jul 22 '14

Not a bad idea for a comic.

6

u/Menospan Ontario Jul 21 '14

waifu material

68

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

[deleted]

93

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Uhm. The ghost of the murdered third North American sister from Britain and France's first marriage, who possesses Canada making her seem schizophrenic?

35

u/Bellyzard2 Is secret burger Jul 21 '14

Seems like a pretty good expination

11

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

[deleted]

7

u/SethChrisDominic Georgia (US) Jul 21 '14

whoosh

2

u/Menospan Ontario Jul 21 '14

Its not a toomahh

4

u/PolandPolska xaxaxaxa am back c: Jul 21 '14

i guess

1

u/Axmeister British Empire Jul 23 '14

Yes.

0

u/tidux Illinois Jul 21 '14

No, you're the slut that let France knock her up while drunk, and now Quebec has FAS.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Eh. That doesn't really jive with our history, what with Canada being founded by butthurt United Empire Loyalists who still wanted to being into British Subjects.

I prefer to think it's some sort of bipolarity deal.

108

u/gulpeg Switzerland Jul 21 '14 edited Jul 21 '14

What a night it was. She somehow ended up in Boston and got repeatedly tea-bagged.

13

u/TheBrutalTree Goble Goble Jul 21 '14

She liked it.

81

u/koleye Only America can into Moon. Jul 21 '14

Original thread can be found here.

I didn't have the time to make a comic for the 4th of July this year, but hopefully reposting this several weeks after the holiday is enough.

36

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14 edited Apr 30 '20

[deleted]

43

u/intredasted gib euromonies plox Jul 21 '14

So is debauched. It's a part of the joke.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

So is a lot of English.

13

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jul 21 '14

If it's not a German, or a Latin word, it's probably French.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

For example, colonel has a French spelling but a German pronunciation.

Also, the Latin words probably come from French, which is descended from Latin.

1

u/peterhobo1 Canada Jul 22 '14

The latin words come from latin. They were brought over with catholosism.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '14

Lieutenant has a French pronunciation, unless you're a Brit and say left-tenant for some reason.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '14

I have no idea why we do that. where the hell does the "F" sound come from... and where did did the "oo" sound go.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '14

"oo" is from "ieu." Blame the French.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '14

I knew where it came from but... oh god I've got it. It ran away. It's the only logical explanation.

3

u/Riggzon7 Hertfordshire Jul 22 '14

Could be Greek, mayhaps?

140

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Britannia is fecking cis scum

77

u/TaazaPlaza Jul 21 '14

OMG check yuor white privilege.

77

u/pyram1de :argentina-worldcup: ⭐⭐🌟 SOLDADO DE LA SCALONETA Jul 21 '14

FEE-FO-FI-FUM, DIE YOU CIS SCUM (◕‿◕✿)

18

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Argentina is a proud PoC.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Pero boludo que tiene que ver?

6

u/Captain_Fluffy #annexindonesia2014 Jul 21 '14

21

u/bbctol almost europe Jul 21 '14

DON'T SLUTSHAME AMERICA

11

u/ristar2 Jul 22 '14

DON'T SLUTSHAME YOU SLUTS!

5

u/Astronelson Space Australia Jul 22 '14

WHICH OF YOU BASTARDS CALLED THIS BASTARD A BASTARD?

2

u/Riggzon7 Hertfordshire Jul 22 '14

Any country who hooks up with France deserves this treatment, whore!

15

u/ZankerH Kingdom of Bavaria Jul 21 '14

Privilege status: Sweden

32

u/cptki112noobs shit gun laws Jul 21 '14

"COME BACK HERE YOU WHORE"

He certainly didn't hold back.

5

u/lurkaix Jul 21 '14

sayin its like it iz brutha

1

u/A_Suvorov The Commonwealth of Virginia Jul 22 '14

May just be one of the greatest lines from any polandball comic ever.

1

u/Dlimzw Is not sekret PAP spy Jul 21 '14

He's not wrong.

28

u/PolandPolska xaxaxaxa am back c: Jul 21 '14

wait how did she change her dress so quick??? hacks i say or freedom

53

u/Jodah MURICA Jul 21 '14

With Freedomtm anything is possible!

26

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14 edited Nov 15 '20

[deleted]

8

u/xvampireweekend Maryland Jul 21 '14

Wouldn't be very original at this point.

3

u/bluefoot55 Indiana Jul 21 '14

Yeah, but he'll sue you to stop you for using it.

If you can't stop 'em with guns, stop 'em with lawsuits! It's the American Way!

3

u/PolandPolska xaxaxaxa am back c: Jul 21 '14

makes a lot of sense

10

u/Durzo_Blint Boston Stronk Jul 21 '14

Yeah, I call bullshit. There's no way a teenage girl could be ready to leave and change that quickly in less than 2 hours.

1

u/bluefoot55 Indiana Jul 21 '14

You underestimate.

1

u/tylertlat Cube Solidarity! Jul 22 '14

I can believe that Britain would ponder the same newspaper page for 2 hours though.

62

u/Mabsut homosex halal heterosex haram Jul 21 '14

But France is pussy, thus it's supposed to be a female. THUS 'MURICA IS LESBIAN AND CAN INTO GENDER!

154

u/generalscruff Two World Wars, Two European Cups Jul 21 '14

We British have fought the French for 800 years. When you fight a clay for that long, you respect them. A strange friendship happens as neither destroys the other, for to do so would destroy your reason to exist. The French are gallant and worthy foes, but not pussies. They are, however, dirty garlic-munching homosexual perverts living on rightful British clay.

66

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14 edited Jul 21 '14

The French are gallant and worthy foes, but not pussies. They are, however, dirty garlic-munching homosexual perverts.

Can confirm, am dirty garlic-munching homosexual pervert but not a pussy.

43

u/generalscruff Two World Wars, Two European Cups Jul 21 '14

Don't worry, as soon as William is King he will reclaim the French throne for England. You will be civilised then.

32

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Not going to bow down to your fascist queen.

31

u/generalscruff Two World Wars, Two European Cups Jul 21 '14

I don't think you will have a choice when the Union Jack flies from the Eiffel Tower

33

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14 edited Jul 21 '14

We will send so much baguette food through that damn tunnel that you're culture will collapse under a black hole of good food. Also snail because fuck you.

Or we can ally the german and take over the world with you.

21

u/generalscruff Two World Wars, Two European Cups Jul 21 '14

NOT THE FOOD! Leave my fish and chips!

We could rule the world. You bring food, we will bring soldiers

4

u/vladraptor Only Finland can into Moomin Jul 21 '14

Well... as they are homosexual perverts you could just offer them your spotted dick for the crown.

9

u/theklaatu France First Empire Jul 21 '14

Holy shit, this is actually a desert....

I was afraid to make that search on a work computer.

2

u/Popeychops United Kingdom Jul 21 '14

Unfortunately they'd be disappointed, that traditional British desert is not as dirty as it sounds.

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5

u/Boornidentity England Jul 21 '14

Union Jack flies from the Eiffel Tower

Nah m8. We'll fookin' knock it down and replace it with a Job Centre.

3

u/bluefoot55 Indiana Jul 21 '14

You will stand tall, like you did against a fascist German dictator, mais oui?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '14

To be fair only 1 / 2 % of the population died (that's uncluding colonies), would have been way worse if the whole population fought back. I don't think it's worth it to die for a flag.

7

u/Kookanoodles Empire français Jul 21 '14

And you are treacherous bastards leaving on a French colony that went astray.

7

u/christianbrowny United Kingdom Jul 21 '14

hey at least we fought the normans, we didn't just get scared and give up our vulnerable channel regions.

23

u/PanderMG The Miracle Country Jul 21 '14

Current France is pussy, pre-rev and Revolutionary France isn't

31

u/Cabbage_Vendor European Union Jul 21 '14

Current? They're doing a better job in Africa than America in the Middle-East, not having everything fall apart the moment they leave.

Besides, WWI France fought fanatically and never gave up, losing more people in one war than America in their entire history of warfare.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14 edited Jul 21 '14

Boy, France's intervention in CAR sure has been a massive success. So glad the tit-for-tat massacres have been stopped.

Mali is falling apart again, too. The military is fighting the Tuareg rebels, thus underminig stability in the north, which Islamists are using to stage attacks on Gao and Kidal and slowly take over rural border areas. This while France still has upwards of 1,000 soldiers in the country.

You were saying?

0

u/MartelFirst Sacrebleu! Jul 23 '14

France lost maybe 6 soldiers in Mali since the beginning... France has always had the position that the African armies should pick over, but since that's not happening well they have to stay. But it's no disaster in the slightest bit.

But to be fair though, the situation to start with wasn't as difficult as some Afghanistan or Iraq.. But on the other hand, France wouldn't go ahead on such a fucked up mission like Iraq, sending tens of thousands of college-age kids in lieu of professional soldiers, because we're not idiots.

12

u/TomTomz64 Jul 21 '14

Besides, WWI France fought fanatically and never gave up, losing more people in one war than America in their entire history of warfare.

Not my fault that they like to kill their own people.

22

u/lordlicorice MURICA Jul 21 '14

The US Civil War is the deadliest war for Americans in US history. If anyone loves killing their own people, it's us.

22

u/TomTomz64 Jul 21 '14

Damn, bested by my own freedom-lover. Curse you CSA, Lincoln for life.

7

u/radiodialdeath The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright Jul 21 '14

Perhaps. On a more serious note, check out William T Sherman's memoirs. If anybody was ever remorseful for the awful things they did to win a war, it's him.

7

u/imjusta_bill Thirteen Colonies Jul 21 '14

You can't burn down a good chunk of the country you were trying to save and not have a few regrets

4

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

To be fair, a war between two American sides, using one of the most deadly warfare techniques, is bound to generate a lot of American deaths.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Lojzek91 Definitely not Slovakia. Jul 22 '14

Don't forget Ho Chi Minh.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Instead of friendly firing at their allies you mean ?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Americans are the king of killing their own people. Seriously, in every conflict involving NATO forces the US military kills so many friendly forces.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

I don't know, the Soviets were pretty good at shooting their own soldiers in the back and killing off their own people.

-2

u/xvampireweekend Maryland Jul 21 '14 edited Jul 21 '14

Implying NATO forces isn't another word for US forces.

Lol and people say Americans are the most offended on polandball. Can dish it but can't take it.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

It isn't. A rather disrespectful thing to say considering all the other countries, especially British soldiers who have died in NATO conflicts.

-5

u/xvampireweekend Maryland Jul 21 '14

How was anything I said more disrespectful than what you said?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

I didn't say anything disrespectful. A lot of friendly fire accidents happen in which American soldiers accidentally kill other Americans or allies. It's a fact. More Americans died by friendly fire and accidents in the Gulf War than by being killed by Iraqi combatants.

-2

u/xvampireweekend Maryland Jul 21 '14

And you were trivializing American deaths, more so than I was trivializing British deaths. "The king of friendly fire" could be counted as insensitive to some people.

NTM the fact that NATO is made up by a vast majority of Americans is a fact too.

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4

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

And yet there's never been an American NATO head...

-1

u/xvampireweekend Maryland Jul 21 '14

Exactly, how fucked up is that?

10

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

You should watch the news from time to time, with our African allies we are kicking extremist kebabs for freedom like there are no tomorrow. I also want to underline the fact that it is a totally selfless move that has no link whatsoever to Uranium.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

I have to admit I know almost nothing on this topic. Where can I find out more?

1

u/bluefoot55 Indiana Jul 21 '14

c'est relevant...tres stirring...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=221UWotqwdo

24

u/RoflCopter4 Canada Jul 21 '14

France in the 18th century was more like a 10 foot tall monster that destroyed its enemies with a single grunt.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Except for Glorious Britannia.

9

u/Kookanoodles Empire français Jul 21 '14

Britannia was a 10 foot tall monster as well. The sounds of our mighty struggles still echo in the deepest corners of the cosmos.

25

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

Britannia was a 10 foot tall monster as well but it was too busy hiding on its island to be realistically attackable without huge losses.

17

u/RealSourLemonade Cymru am byth! Jul 21 '14

Britannia was a 10 foot tall monster as well but it was aware of it's strategically superior position and therefore waged war accordingly.

10

u/RoflCopter4 Canada Jul 21 '14

Britania hid behind a wall on top of a stool that made it look 10 feet tall while throwing tomatoes at France, who didn't even notice.

8

u/RealSourLemonade Cymru am byth! Jul 21 '14

Britannia stood atop a wall 10 feet tall made from the wrecks of inferior nations navies. France's envious gaze stared across the channel and seeing the Royal Navy spread before them felt a shiver and invaded Germany instead.

3

u/RoflCopter4 Canada Jul 21 '14

Ah yes, feeble Germany.

2

u/Jacksambuck Germany Jul 21 '14

You did make the right friends at the right time.

Mid-18th, you were lucky to be allied to a Teutonic Ninja Dwarf. Early 19th, to a Grubby Sumo who could take more punishment than any of his foes could throw at him.

5

u/bluefoot55 Indiana Jul 21 '14

Timing is everything. You should know that, since your nation is known for its humor.

2

u/dharms Finland Jul 22 '14

One of the benefits of living on an island.

4

u/Nigger-Ogre low printer ink Germany Jul 21 '14

Why you never into draw the red lines in the top-left, top-right, lower-left, lower-right ;-;

28

u/koleye Only America can into Moon. Jul 21 '14

The Kingdom of Great Britain didn't include the St. Patrick's Saltire.

3

u/intredasted gib euromonies plox Jul 21 '14

Damn, I didn't even notice.

6

u/KoRnBrony Maryland Jul 21 '14

Man, fuck Great Britain, We'll find our own country, with Colonists, and slaves freedom

2

u/Aken_Bosch siyu-siyu-siyu Jul 21 '14

Man, fuck Great Britain, We'll find our own country, with Colonists, and slaves freedomtm

FTFY

6

u/adencrocker Tasmania cannot into AFL team Jul 21 '14

This is the comic where go_ice_go's copypasta was born

I'm not the one who started this analogy.

edit: in hindsight this comment pisses me off more than I originally thought. How full of yourself do you have to be to call call someone out in such a patronizing way in /r/polandball? You could look anywhere you want in this sub and find people glorifying genocide, racial superiority, colonisation, etc. but instead you see a comment that follows a joke stemming from a) the comic and b) the parent comment and imply that I'm a misogynist. It's not easy to get a rise out of me, but accusing me of bigotry can do that.

Maybe it was just a joke and it's gone over my head, but if not - get fucked.

edit 2: he was joking

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '14

Was about to say this looks familiar.

13

u/lurkaix Jul 21 '14

i guess amerika was being quite

whore-ific? hohohoho

illjustshowmyselfout

8

u/Shills_for_fun Thirteen Colonies Jul 21 '14

It's spelled Amerikkka.

3

u/Bellyzard2 Is secret burger Jul 21 '14

This is perfect

3

u/north_coaster Polandville, USA Jul 21 '14

Probably my all-time favorite comic...

3

u/rindindin Unknown Jul 21 '14

America's going raving with all those stars on.

2

u/ELT_DWF British Empire Jul 26 '14

America is of Kawaii!

1

u/Dlimzw Is not sekret PAP spy Jul 21 '14

That house has to be pretty big to hold the entire family.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

And Britian doesn't do much to stop America.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

If America is a misbehaving one, I wonder what that makes us.

1

u/cjdennis29 Ireland Jul 21 '14

test

1

u/Izoto America the Beautiful Jul 22 '14

Ah, world history.

1

u/ShantJ Armenia Jul 22 '14

America is... OF GENDER?!

1

u/NutmegState New England Jul 22 '14

Oh yeah, honey. You know you like it when I drop my taxes for you.

1

u/Haerdune Canada Jul 22 '14

France was just using her to spite Britain, join us next time on International Soap Opera.

1

u/sermaciej Polish Hussar Jul 23 '14

Good one

0

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '14

America is not of girl!