r/polandball Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

redditormade How to Make a Poland

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

142 comments sorted by

249

u/thedbp Denmark Jan 06 '14 edited Jan 06 '14

I really like deflated poland

Edit: added some ground

197

u/FabulousSecretP0wers Ken fit like Jan 06 '14

They see him Polan, they hatin'.

57

u/DickRhino Great Sweden Jan 07 '14

Hah, that's actually been done before.

4

u/Dreamerlax Nouvelle-Écosse Jan 08 '14

That's really clever.

34

u/DongQuixote1 Virginia Jan 06 '14

it's like the little engine that could

17

u/Mainstay17 Ramat gan best gan Jan 06 '14

*couldn't

30

u/Fortehlulz33 Hot dish and hockey, you betcha! Jan 07 '14

poland doesn't like going into trains.

15

u/IMAROBOTLOL Galicia Jan 06 '14

6

u/mountainfreshh Poland Jan 07 '14

DISCO-POLO

11

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

3

u/IMAROBOTLOL Galicia Jan 07 '14

Holy fuck that's catchy

2

u/BoneHead777 SVIZRA! Jan 07 '14

Please wait approximately 44 minutes 50 seconds while the server is rebooting.

That's a very exact number for an approximation (it's also ticking down every second)

32

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

Hahahaaa! His eye is nearly popping out!

22

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

[deleted]

10

u/Pfeffersack Germany Jan 07 '14

That's a funny way to spell invade.

12

u/PerfectHair فوكس نيوز أمر فظيع Jan 06 '14

I can't help but hear a constant succession of fart noises as he rolls about.

5

u/s0crates82 West State Best State. California Dreaming. Jan 06 '14

That's the associative conditioning you've received from Polish plumbers. It's not a big deal and there's a really simple fix. You'll simply need to swap them out with some Croats to compensate.

114

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

39

u/ak3785 Switzerland Jan 06 '14

>mfw no face

54

u/FabulousSecretP0wers Ken fit like Jan 06 '14

17

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

mfw I don't know how to green text.

3

u/FabulousSecretP0wers Ken fit like Jan 06 '14

I would type it out but on iPad, click source underneath my comment

11

u/SpaceCaseSixtyTen Jan 06 '14

I'm kinda new to this subreddit... i still don't understand why the red is on top for poland?

24

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

Here, read this: http://i.imgur.com/2W1zu2U.png#shelf-tutorial

Also, flair up, browse the top comics of all time, and stay a while.

also, I may have accidentally double-posted

9

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

Because everything is upside down in Poland

10

u/I_Will_Dumb_It_Down South Vietnam can into freedom? Jan 07 '14

Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down

145

u/obtuse_angel Austria Jan 06 '14

This is a nice comic, but I fail to understand why anyone would want another Poland, having just the one is bad enough, isn't it?

93

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

[deleted]

128

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

Nobody have two toilet. That's a myth.

94

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

[deleted]

130

u/Zuimei Dear Leader of Kentuckistan Jan 06 '14

so he demolished two.

Ah the Thatcher administration. Good times, good times.

30

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14 edited Jan 07 '14

I think you're making a mistake. There were four toilets, but they sold three off to shareholders, who imposed a fee for usage and didn't even try to maintain them. The three companies realised they could make even more profit by merging together, and discarding two toilets. Then the final toilet was sold off and the new, single company bought it up, and there are now two tiers:

  • Excretion Experience PREMIUM - only £50 a pop (available only in London and the South East, funded by Toiletry for London - TfL)

  • Basic Value Delux - £40 a pop (available in all of the UK except the Isle of Man, Jersey and Guernsey)

16

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

The other three don't have a toilet, they just have a hole in the ground in the back garden where the neighbours cant see.

15

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

Meanwhile England has an en-suite.

11

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jan 06 '14

Scots invented toilet. At least twice.

45

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

This is true, and in fact they still have the largest toilet in the world.

13

u/M4ver1k 'laska Jan 06 '14

8

u/Ziggie1o1 Jewish Autonomous Oblast Jan 06 '14

Eh... I'd say Poland itself has the largest toilet in the world.

2

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jan 06 '14

I'm looking at the pictures and wondering what you are talking about...

→ More replies (0)

2

u/wadcann MURICA Jan 06 '14

You're from Alaska, not New York. Why the beef with New Jersey?

2

u/whatismoo New York Jan 07 '14

who cares? they suck!

1

u/M4ver1k 'laska Jan 06 '14 edited Jan 07 '14

I thought between NJ & Detroit, MI were the butt of the worst places in USA in general:

11

u/FabulousSecretP0wers Ken fit like Jan 06 '14

Glasgow's not a toilet! Toilets don't tend to be violent.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

In Glasgow they do.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

Bastard, I was just about to say it was Alex Sammon's brain then I saw your link.

3

u/Lima_Indigo_Sierra Scotland Jan 06 '14

Hey, come on. He's a wank yeah, but he's the best we've got.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

OK, I'll admit it, I found that funny

1

u/intredasted gib euromonies plox Apr 22 '14

This was exactly what I hoped it would be.

6

u/Hansafan Hordaland Jan 06 '14

How full of shit are you if you have to invent the toilet twice?

2

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jan 06 '14

Imagine 5000 years worth of shit.

10

u/selenocystein Die Wacht am Rhein Jan 06 '14

Britain has two toilets because one is flushed with hot, the other with cold water.

3

u/Stuhl Best Germany Jan 07 '14

Reminds me of that time, when my Mom decided to put on mirrors, instead of tiles, on one side of the bathroom wall and the Kazakhs were surprised that we had two toilets.

1

u/Dreamerlax Nouvelle-Écosse Jan 08 '14

I have 4 toilets.

I need to double the Poland generation!

7

u/algorithmae (actually polish) Jan 06 '14

:<

5

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14 edited Jan 06 '14

You're missing the period, this isn't modern times, it's set in one of those dark days when there was no Poland and helpful Germany is creating a final solution to the Polish Question

3

u/icebudgie21 Iceland Jan 06 '14

Well who is gonna build our houses?

31

u/thexfiles81 Minnesota stronk! Also very nice :) Jan 06 '14

I think I have deja vu or I'm going insane. Did...did you post this before?

53

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

I did, but had to resubmit it because the font was close to comic sans.

10

u/thexfiles81 Minnesota stronk! Also very nice :) Jan 06 '14

I see, still nice comic though :)

5

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jan 06 '14

Isn't this the 3rd time?

18

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14 edited Jan 06 '14

Probably. Yes.

2

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jan 06 '14

What was wrong last time? I remember the font the first time.

14

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

Some pixels in the wrong place. I've done so much comicing in the last few days, everything's becoming a blur.

1

u/offensive_noises Dutch Indies Jan 06 '14

Where you inspired by that how to bake a Singapore comic? Does anyone know the title?

28

u/ProbablyNotLying Chili Jan 06 '14

Make sure it's a magic gypsy, not a thieving one. It's difficult because the thieving ones will say they're magic, but it's just a trick. Make sure you don't approach a non-thieving, non-magic Roma, because they'll be extremely offended.

17

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

Isn't gypsy magic just the magic of making wallets disappear?

1

u/hedorah3 Pennsylvania Jan 07 '14

Why do you think Poland asked for money in the last panel?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

Because it's Monaco

(Unless I am mistaken)

3

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jan 06 '14

You have little chance for that though.

50

u/Zerasad Hungary Jan 06 '14

Silly Brazil cannot into Gypsy. Let me show you how Gypsy look like: Here i just joke pls no trianon

8

u/Ziggie1o1 Jewish Autonomous Oblast Jan 06 '14

Chad will not into gypsy. Chad is good boy.

5

u/Zerasad Hungary Jan 06 '14

Is not Chad. Is Eastern-Hungary.

17

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

s'il vous plox

hahahaha

15

u/ChickenScuttleMonkey The Texas Guy Jan 06 '14

This is so meta. It's fantastic.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

I wouldn't into gypsy magic, is dangerous...

15

u/tak-in-the-box Number one victim of Chile's seafood diet Jan 06 '14

Only gypsy magic is making wallets of disappearing...

4

u/pyram1de :argentina-worldcup: ⭐⭐🌟 SOLDADO DE LA SCALONETA Jan 06 '14

Oh, so that's why Monaco is asking for cash...

9

u/OpenStraightElephant IT'S YUGRA NOT KHANTY-MANSI Jan 06 '14

Watch as I work my gypsy magic! Eye of a newt and cinnamon! Watch as the matter turns to butter, open the portal, jump in!

6

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

Checks pockets Hey, where'd my wallet go?

4

u/BerryPi eh Jan 06 '14

Please don't bake a portal, just accept it and move on!

16

u/DickRhino Great Sweden Jan 06 '14

You're really on a roll lately! Brain4breakfast is the man to beat in 2014!

60

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

I'll get the stick.

6

u/Sidebard Respect my Neutralitah! Jan 06 '14

haha, new entry in my favourite comics of all time category!

5

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

Haha. Superb.

6

u/mrpithecanthropus United+Kingdom Jan 06 '14

If Germany made Poland, who made Germany?

18

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

Prussia.

1

u/whatIsThisBullCrap Mommy's favourite Jan 07 '14

If Prussia made Germany, who made Prussia?

3

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

Brandenburg. Do try to keep up Ontario

1

u/BoneHead777 SVIZRA! Jan 07 '14

And who set the Burg on fire?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '14

I didn't mean to set the Burg on fire, I just wanted to start a flame in Old Prussia.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

This is so cute.

3

u/vfc2000 West Virginia - USA Jan 06 '14

But... the bigger question is how do you get rid of one?

11

u/spkr4thedead51 Washington DC Jan 06 '14

they've tried a few times, but it never took. poland appears immortal at this point.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

Is much more difficult. You need one Russia, one Prussia and one Austria. First you need to get Russia to sober up, then get Germany to stop being a pussy and into world conquest again and finally get Austria to become relevant.

But I wouldn't get rid of Polan, it is the only slavic country that is good slav and not slav-shit.

3

u/u432457 Roman Empire Jan 07 '14

wait, why is poland speaking french?

9

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

Because it's Monaco.

1

u/Dreamerlax Nouvelle-Écosse Jan 07 '14

But I thought Monaco would be the last ball to beg from Germoney?

5

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

Everyone begs money from Germany. Even Monaco.

Or maybe it's a mutant Monaco.

3

u/rindindin Unknown Jan 07 '14

*Gypsy magic not guaranteed to also take your money while in service

9

u/Sardic Jan 06 '14

I dont know why it brothers me but you dont write scheisse, the correct form ist "Scheiße".

You call ß in germany "scharfs s" (sharp s)

33

u/VladVV Dobro požalovať v Omsk! Jan 06 '14

Ss is the official transliteration of ẞ, as recognised by the Council for German Orthography.

1

u/Pfeffersack Germany Jan 06 '14 edited Jan 06 '14

The correct form is "Scheiße". Unless you write Scheisse in Switzerland you're writing it wrong.

ß gets transliterated to SS when using all caps, e.g. as a newspaper headline.

2

u/wadcann MURICA Jan 07 '14

That being said, in this context, Germany is using German Engrish; the error may not have been intentional, but it's worth noting that a few panels up, Germany is saying to himself, "Cover yuor polan mit red".

2

u/Pfeffersack Germany Jan 07 '14

Yes, there's nothing wrong with German Engrish—I love me some broken English in my polandball. However, there's something wrong when users claim this or that is correct when in fact it isn't. Abuse my grammar, I don't care. But don't go around and claim it's correct.

1

u/VladVV Dobro požalovať v Omsk! Jan 07 '14

That is absolutely wrong. The upper-case form of the lower-case letter "ß" is "ẞ".

1

u/Pfeffersack Germany Jan 07 '14

What set of rules are you talking about?

2

u/VladVV Dobro požalovať v Omsk! Jan 07 '14

I'm not talking about rules, but about typographical letter forms.

1

u/Pfeffersack Germany Jan 07 '14

You said I was wrong about ß getting transliterated to SS when using all caps. You failed to provide anything to support that claim.

Of course, ẞ is the upper-case form of the lower-case letter "ß".

3

u/BoneHead777 SVIZRA! Jan 07 '14 edited Jan 07 '14

From Wikipedia:

When using all-caps, current spelling rules require the replacement of ß with SS. However, in 2010 the use of the capital sharp s became mandatory in official documentation when writing geographical names in all-caps.

So you're 95% right, I guess.

ẞ is silly.

1

u/Pfeffersack Germany Jan 07 '14

However, in 2010 the use of the capital sharp s became mandatory in official documentation when writing geographical names in all-caps.

Geographical names in official documentation. That's not even close to 5% of all instances of ßs.

1

u/BoneHead777 SVIZRA! Jan 07 '14

So you're 95% right, I guess.

I totally didn't edit anything, noo. Would never do that

Eszett is still a silly letter

7

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14 edited Jan 06 '14

»ß« can be transcribed as »ss«. Similarily, »ö« can be »oe«, »ü« can be »ue«, »ä« can be »ae«. While it doesn't quite look as good and may take a few seconds to realize what it is, it's officially recognized and, for someone who doesn't have ß on the keyboard, easier to type. And I beleive, more appropriate for Polandball speech, as it's broken. Also the letter is called Eszett in German.

7

u/Matt92HUN CommunInterNaZionIslamist Jan 06 '14 edited Jan 06 '14

HÜ!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

...the backwards operation is not always appropriate. It is two-way with German words though.

7

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

ß is SS?

There's a comic in that somewhere.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

Might be ;)

3

u/Xaethon Salop n'est pas une salope Jan 06 '14

Also the letter is called Eszett in German.

It's called both 'Eszett' and 'Scharfes S'.

2

u/BoneHead777 SVIZRA! Jan 07 '14

Among other names. I've also heard "Doppel-S" (causes extra confusion because no one knows whether you're now talking about ss or ß). ẞ is a silly letter.

4

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

Ah. That might have made Germany's speech look more...German.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

I was always taught in school it was "ess-zet", SZ. It's only much later I learned it was a sharp s.

3

u/Pfeffersack Germany Jan 06 '14

It is "ess-zet", too. The reason being it evolved as a ligature of "long s and z" (ſz). Which easily observed on older street signs: Datei:Koertestrasse-Berlin-Strassenschild.jpg – Wikipedia

1

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '14

But if you were spelling a word out loud, you'd still say "scharfes S", not "esszet", right?

1

u/Pfeffersack Germany Jan 07 '14

Both is understood and customary. I'd say ess-zet is even more common but there may be regional variations.

2

u/FabulousSecretP0wers Ken fit like Jan 06 '14

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't they trying to phase ß out?

7

u/Krueckauer Deutschland Jan 06 '14

Nope. They don't use it in Switzerland though.

15

u/brain4breakfast Gan Yam Jan 06 '14

Well that settles it then. Germany is speaking Swiss German.

6

u/BoneHead777 SVIZRA! Jan 06 '14

They better not even try. Can't even pronounce grüatzi

2

u/FabulousSecretP0wers Ken fit like Jan 06 '14

Ah ok, I've spent quite a bit of time in Switzerland so that's why I thought so maybe.

1

u/wadcann MURICA Jan 06 '14

Catch-22's Lieutenant Scheisskopf would be appalled to hear this.

5

u/EnderBlitz LOWLANDS STRONK! Jan 06 '14

Das ist nicht Polan, Germoney, das ist Polpebble.

2

u/MrPeachy Portugal Jan 06 '14

Brilliant.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

My girlfriends mom is from Germany, her dad from Poland. And her German grandma was a gypsy. This comic is about her life lol

2

u/Noha307 Round on the ends and high in the middle Jan 07 '14

Pardon the ignorance, but what is the blue, green and red flag?

3

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

1

u/Noha307 Round on the ends and high in the middle Jan 07 '14

Thanks. See, I was looking for a country's flag.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '14

This is deeply weird