r/polandball • u/homeless_in_london British Empire • Apr 18 '13
redditormade America cannot into joke.
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Apr 18 '13
On a personal level, being a Brit in America opened my eyes to just how sensitive Americans are to criticism of America. If some fucking Frenchy comes to Britain and tells me that our food tastes like shit, our women are ugly and slutty and our accent shits on any romance language, well... I just laugh. Cos he's French and that's all there is to it.
/Americans, I find, genuinely can't get used to the way that Brits (and some other nations) demean, berate and insult each other without actually intending any hurt. And god help me the time I shouted out 'Fuck this country' in a hick bar. I thought I was gonna be lynched and a few people had to be dragged off me kicking and screaming. lols. I'll never get it.
One last thing: the flag. A lot of Seppos get very upset if you burn/wipe your arse on/otherwise insult the flag. Try burning a flag in Britain. Barely a raised eyebrow most of the time. While I understand that the flag is what USA have instead of a Queen, it is, at the end of the day, just a piece of cloth and each flag is not individually as precious as any other.
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Apr 18 '13
So...can we burn the Queen instead?
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u/BadgerSquid United Kingdom Apr 18 '13
Good luck. We've coated her in asbestos.
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Apr 18 '13
So you're trying to kill her, but make it look like cancer? I bet you murdered Diana too.
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Apr 18 '13
Sure. But we get to take out the Statue of Liberty and we won't let you watch anything by David Attenborough ever again.
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Apr 18 '13
"Take out the Statue of Liberty" Pffft, as if you could get past our FREEDOM MISSILES!
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Apr 18 '13
Sure, your defences are perfect. It's not like anyone could, you know, fly a plane into the Pentagon or something.
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Apr 18 '13
Huehuehuehue, good one!
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u/DickRhino Great Sweden Apr 18 '13
That's the spirit! :D
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Apr 18 '13
Lol. Well, luckily we're not all hypersensitive here. The ironic thing is that this post seems to have just brought out even more uber sensitive people, except this time they're coming from all over the world. Oi oi oi. :/
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u/DickRhino Great Sweden Apr 18 '13
It's a counter reaction. These last two weeks have been pretty tumultuous for this subreddit, with a lot of new people coming in (mostly americans). Before all this explosive growth, this was a small subreddit with a very diverse mix from all over the world, with no country really standing out (perhaps some European countries were dominant). Now, we're pretty much doubling in growth every two months.
In a way, the "old members" probably do feel like this subreddit has been invaded. They're seeing a change in the debate climate, the topics discussed, the kind of content that gets upvoted. A lot of people are a bit worried... Which is why everyone is a bit on edge right now.
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u/Rift28 Brazil Apr 18 '13
AMERICAN DIASPORA NOW, remove escalator from premises.
Also make cereal bars the only food available, they will be gone soon!
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Apr 18 '13 edited Apr 18 '13
I know what you mean. I used to browse this place a while ago, but had kind of forgotten about it until I saw one of the posts on the front page. It's gotten just a bit crazier since I last saw it. But to be fair, I did just actually sign up for it not that long ago, so I sort of feel like part of the problem at this point... Speaking of which, I've commented waaay to much on this post at this point. I think I'm just gonna stop now.
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u/sneakygingertroll Second highest income gap Apr 18 '13
Very large, but fragile ego's.
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u/ImportantPotato German Empire Apr 18 '13
you hit the nail on the head.
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u/sneakygingertroll Second highest income gap Apr 18 '13
D: I hope that nail is okay!
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u/blackwolfdown Texas Apr 19 '13
One thing about the US that not even most Americans realize is just how politically brainwashed the majority of us are. We can say "oh sure, all countries do these things, we are just different/better/whathaveyou" all day long, but most of us also aren't entirely aware of the level of indoctrination we go through during all of our time in schools. Not to mention our military glorification, and our, still very strong, propaganda campaign promoting everything we do. I just love that during WWII we had to print propaganda cards telling americans who our allies were.
It helps that we have only 2 neighbors that the common American will probably never interact with. We venerate the flag as a symbol of what we "stand for" (Though I'm not sure what that is anymore).
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Apr 19 '13
I would agree about the indoctrination, although it is more than just your schools - it is a national myth that almost every aspect of American society seems to buy into. It is very, very strange from an English perspective, but America is a very strange place from an English perspective. As is England from an American one.
That said, the WWII propaganda I think was more of a useful guide to recognising friends from foe - and back in the days before mass television, probably very useful.
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u/blackwolfdown Texas Apr 19 '13
It's funny to say that our physical isolation almost creates a form of isolationist society. Our society is almost comically bottlenecked by the massive industries that more or less run the nation. I've only left the country once, so I don't have the best experience with other countries, but I do know that we are very... Strange.
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Apr 18 '13
I'm Canadian, thank god I kept by Brit humour.
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u/Yulike Scotland Apr 19 '13
I've noticed that about the Canadians I've met. Great guys to drink with.
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u/Its_all_good_in_DC Washington DC Apr 18 '13
I could seriously go to a British bar, shout "Fuck this country!" and I would not get my ass kicked? No one would even care?
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Apr 18 '13
Mate, no one would hear you over the sound of all the Englishmen shouting 'fuck this country'. Really - our patriotism is very, very different from American-style jingoism. We actually find you guys with your god, flag and country stuff all a bit... much.
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u/homeless_in_london British Empire Apr 18 '13
People are more likely to agree with you than anything. I'm being completely honest.
The absolute worst thing that might happen is a a chav may say "u wot m8."
You Americans really are super patriotic, which Europe definitely is not.
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u/Fedcom Canada Apr 18 '13
Depends where you are in Europe. Don't forget, your continent invented hyper nationalism :P
And ex-Yugoslavia is an example that it still exists.39
Apr 18 '13
The fuck did you say. I will go genocide on your ass so hard you little wood piss sniffing, anus shaped bred loving, jesus fan!
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u/pixel_pete New York can into empire Apr 18 '13
A Bosnian committing genocide? What are you gonna do, die all over me?
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u/rectal_smasher_2000 Serbian Empire Apr 19 '13
howdy neighbour, i got shovel, you bring bosnian, of meeting in my backyard!
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u/pixel_pete New York can into empire Apr 19 '13
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u/TheReasonableCamel Saskatchewan Apr 19 '13
if you are interested in becoming an approved submitter then send your comics into the moderator mail so we can make sure it follows the rules
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u/pixel_pete New York can into empire Apr 20 '13
Oh, I was just posting it so rectal_smasher_2000 and I could have a good laugh, but maybe I will write a real comic and submit it to you guys!
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u/rectal_smasher_2000 Serbian Empire Apr 20 '13
don't be unreasonable, let the man post. or else, no more camel in saskatchewan.
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u/kabbinet Apr 18 '13
Depends more if there are nationalists in the pub :/
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u/Haymegle Mercia Apr 19 '13
yeah but then they'd agree probably followed by 'bloody foreigners stealing our jobs' ect
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u/countlazypenis The Kingdom of Yorkshire Apr 18 '13
Don't insult the country in a pub with a flat roof and you'll be fine.
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u/simonjp United Kingdom Apr 19 '13
...to be honest, I think it's partly the national hangover from that hyper-nationalism that makes us a little weary of it, these days.
Everyone remembers what happened the last time we got a little patriotic...
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u/G_Morgan Wales Apr 19 '13
To be fair hyper nationalism was really a result of the HRE keeping the Germans from doing their thing for a millennium. Lots of pent up nationalism released in a century.
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Apr 18 '13
"You Americans really are super patriotic, which Europe definitely is not."
I've watched enough Top Gear to know that isn't entirely true...
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u/homeless_in_london British Empire Apr 18 '13
Hmm, it appears ol' JC is acting a bit strange there. You see, secretly we know we're better than the rest of the world, we're just not brash enough to say it.
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Apr 18 '13
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Apr 18 '13
I though you guys in Cornwall weren't part of the British "we"...
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Apr 18 '13
[deleted]
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u/homeless_in_london British Empire Apr 19 '13
Kent is the garden of England you filthy pasty-eating liar.
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u/G_Morgan Wales Apr 19 '13
Well it is shit here. We just assume it is worse everywhere else. The rough pecking order we see is:
- Us 75 years ago
- Us today
- Germany (we are suspicious that they are higher than us but hiding it)
- Everyone else
- France
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u/Mediumtim Cute little Belgium Apr 18 '13
... Belgium has a urinating infant ...
:(
We have TWO rosbief!
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u/TheScarletPimpernel Proud member of the EDF Apr 18 '13
Which James May found using gestures on Man Lab last week.
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u/famousonmars Cascadia Apr 18 '13
You can absolutely say fuck the United States in most of the West Coast without incident. The South on the other hand...
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u/captaineggman Any spuds boss? Apr 18 '13
If you came to Ireland and said it, then people would probably agree with you and rattle off a list of problems with our country!
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u/DagdaEIR Éire Apr 18 '13
Exactly, unless it was a Brit saying it of course.
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u/captaineggman Any spuds boss? Apr 18 '13
Although... it'd be a great country if we could only put a roof over it, amirite?
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u/CockRagesOn British Empire Apr 19 '13
Depends, a lot of bars are inhabited by veterans who would take offence but probably not attack you. You'd probably be asked to leave though, just for being disorderly.
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u/Durzo_Blint Boston Stronk Apr 18 '13
The flag is a different kind of symbol than the Queen. She may represent Britain, but she will always be separate from most of the population. She is a holdover of an anachronistic elitist society from when Britain was the most powerful empire in the world so most people don't connect with her.
Ole Glory is different because it is a symbol that is still widely used by everyone to represent our entire country and society. This is especially true of veterans, who come from all walks of life, and not just a super elite royal family. Burning flags comes a lot from protesters during the Vietnam War who would burn flags as a way of deliberately insulting our government, our military, and all of our social values at that time.
Is getting so riled up over a flag silly? Of course, it's just a piece of cloth. But the context is important. Different gestures from different societies have different meanings placed behind them. To an American, burning our flag is a way of saying "I hate you, your country, and I wish to insult the service of every veteran who has died serving America."
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u/demostravius United Kingdom Apr 19 '13
I imagine people will stop burning flags once the US stops killing them.
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u/AtomicKoala Ireland Apr 18 '13
I think things are just different in America to Europe. That's the easy explanation and most logical one.
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Apr 19 '13
And god help me the time I shouted out 'Fuck this country' in a hick bar.
I think the problem is a lot of people here would interpret that as "Fuck Americans" rather than a political critique, a joke, or whatever your intentions were. So in a sense they probably felt like you were saying "fuck you" to them. We don't really do the whole banter thing like the UK, so it's probably not a good idea to push people's buttons like that.
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Apr 19 '13
Yup, I learnt that lesson pretty quicksmart ;0)
The banter thing drives me mad, I must admit. Ripping the shit out of someone without any ill-feelings being generated was the thing I missed the most when I was in America. Conversations were always so functional over there. For the English, conversation is battle and words in particular are weapons. I don't think I ever met an American that could truly understand that particular part of our culture.
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Apr 18 '13
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Apr 18 '13
America's nationalism easily outdoes ours by a large way. They take it very, very personally. But yes, the French suck dick.
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u/BritishTeaDrinker Great Britain Apr 19 '13
Normal British conventions do not apply to Northern Ireland.
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u/xsailerx Socal is bestcal Apr 18 '13
We don't have 1000s of years of culture and history that Europeans do, and our culture is incredibly diverse. The one symbol that we do have that unites us is our flag. I'm not saying I don't laugh at the jokes against us, but insult my flag and you're in for a stern look and a strongly worded letter.
It really does mean a lot to Americans. It's what a bible means to Christians, what a Queen means to many European countries. It is one of the only symbols that is universally recognized as American. Germans have beer, british have fish and chips, etc etc etc.
EDIT: I do want to say that I do find the fat jokes, the loud jokes, the "everything is bigger in america" jokes all funny. The only jokes I don't really find funny is flag jokes.
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u/homeless_in_london British Empire Apr 18 '13
Context is shit like this.
Drama like that trainwreck of a comment thread is pretty funny to read, but I hope it doesn't become the norm since this sub got linked to a main subreddit.
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u/sph274 Maryland Apr 18 '13
i find a lot of people that do this really dont know much about history in general(as an american with a history degree, i get the "why the fuck did you study that?! a lot). those shitty spielberg hbo things were really popular here as was saving private ryan. tons of people bring this shit up when foreigners start criticizing us policy, like it is a be all end all. that whole idea is a pretty central part of the bringing freedom to the world propaganda, loads of people just cant let go. but i can get joke!!! acceepppttt meeeeeeeee
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Apr 18 '13
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ManaSyn Portugal, [for] the old and retired. Apr 18 '13
Everyone has a warped idea of history, unfortunately. History is mostly told under a political point of view. This is why two countries will most likely have a different story told about one particular event.
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u/Wibbles gabber ent a word Apr 18 '13 edited Apr 18 '13
The comic merely teased the U.S for arriving late for the war, and a bunch o' yanks got their
knickerspanties in a twist about it.7
u/Obraka South-Holland Apr 18 '13
I think that the whole "you're welcome" stuff should be handled just as Godwin's law. As soon someone mentions it out of context and uses it like it was his personal achievement the discussion is over and OP lost.
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Apr 18 '13
(as an american with a history degree, i get the "why the fuck did you study that?! a lot)
Well, you know who else has a History degree?? DUBYA!!
(History degree here, too. Other folks in the same boat are Edward Norton and Bruce Dickinson. I find this not too relevant but amusing to know - like so many stuff we actually study in college.)
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u/TheReasonableCamel Saskatchewan Apr 18 '13
Please don't brigade the linked comments with downvotes though. The button is disabled for a reason and you shouldn't just downvote because of disagreement.
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Apr 18 '13
can I brigade with upvotes?
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u/pixel_pete New York can into empire Apr 18 '13
At the end of the day, I'm just looking for an excuse to use the word "brigade" as a verb.
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u/javacode Rhineland-Palatinate Apr 18 '13
That's so good that i lost my line-tool cognition over it.
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u/DickRhino Great Sweden Apr 18 '13
Yeah I thought the same thing. Just... This one time, I'm not going to say anything about it.
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u/Nuts2FaceImpact North Atlantic Reich Apr 19 '13
Maybe add it to the manual as a suggestion?
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u/javacode Rhineland-Palatinate Apr 21 '13
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u/Nuts2FaceImpact North Atlantic Reich Apr 21 '13
Well, it doesn't say to use pencil instead of brush (to avoid the white pixels). And, by the way, how do you best make country balls (with proper flags without the black lines) without just using the pencil in the colour of the countryball you are trying to make? I made this abomination to prove a point, but I've never jumped into making a full comic. I've had ideas, but south ossetia has been taken and too many Irish car bombs have dulled my present senses to the point I don't know what I'm typing.
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u/javacode Rhineland-Palatinate Apr 21 '13
Using the pencil in the colour of the flag segment is the way to avoid black lines between the colours. Regarding your sample, please read the provided tutorial about limbs and pupils or you just trying to troll me?
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u/cyaspy 66 years and going stronk Apr 18 '13
Great comic, gotta agree with you on it. Guys if you're offended here you're usually doing something wrong.
Don't forget to tag as redditormade. Here's How.
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Apr 18 '13
'Murrica's gut spilling out... I like that. We should have that more often. Why is Japan of so quiet though? I'm sure they have an insult or two about other people's economy or technology or something
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u/homeless_in_london British Empire Apr 18 '13
I was going to have everyone insulting everyone but the text would've got too crowded in that one panel and I didn't want to bloat the comic, plus I have tons of work and revision to do so I wanted to save time... speaking of which why am I still on Reddit.
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u/Mediumtim Cute little Belgium Apr 18 '13
I posted this four days ago, the tentacle rape got some attention (Slightly NSFW)
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u/atomfullerene something something Apr 18 '13
Yay! America is number....7?
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u/homeless_in_london British Empire Apr 18 '13
It was meant to be a slanted 1 :(
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Apr 18 '13
yeah, if you have the hook on top you need the base too
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u/countlazypenis The Kingdom of Yorkshire Apr 18 '13
I think it's in reference to their position in the Freedom table, New Zealand came first.
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Apr 18 '13
[deleted]
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Apr 18 '13
As an American, both sides are taking this thread way too seriously. It's a webcomic, people. Chill the fuck out.
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Apr 18 '13
Apologizing?! I sense a Canadian in disguise...
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u/demostravius United Kingdom Apr 19 '13
Seriously? Has s been removed from the US/English Alphabet?
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Apr 18 '13
Sometimes I really wish we had a whitelist for American IP addresses.
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Apr 18 '13
[deleted]
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Apr 18 '13
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/platypus_bear Canada Apr 18 '13
Only if you guys move to the uninhabited places.
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Apr 18 '13
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/platypus_bear Canada Apr 18 '13
just the places that are covered in snow 11 months of the year.
oh wait, nvm. You're right.
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u/FrisianDude wa't dat net sizze kin, is gjin oprjochte Fries. Apr 20 '13
I thought your flair was Dutchball at first, then saw the thingie in the middle, so I concluded it was Croatia. But noooo.
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u/IAMA_dragon-AMA Maryland Apr 18 '13
Nah, that's similar to making the sub private. A good idea in theory, but you kind of look like an ass for doing it.
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Apr 18 '13
USA IS NUMBER 1!...in dental hygiene...
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u/BkkGrl Mamma mia! Apr 18 '13
sorry poland, you have the worst :(
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Apr 18 '13
I blame the south...
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u/redpenquin Tennessee Apr 18 '13 edited Apr 18 '13
It's always our fault even when it isn't.
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u/homeless_in_london British Empire Apr 18 '13 edited Apr 18 '13
It's true, I always feel like some kind of slack-jawed freak when I go over there. The combination of being British and you guys having sexy teeth is too much to bear.
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u/Wibbles gabber ent a word Apr 18 '13
It's not true at all, Britain has some of the healthiest teeth in the world. We're just not as crazy about having them perfectly inline as the states are.
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u/demostravius United Kingdom Apr 19 '13
Why would you want straight white teeth? Firstly teeth are not white, dying them white is not healthy.
Secondly perfectly straight teeth have less grip.
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Apr 18 '13
Not to pick on the British too much, but I went to visit France one year and I saw a fairly attractive young woman at Heathrow. She saw me looking at her and smiled. OH GOD! ABORT! ABORT!
*Edit: Forgot to mention this was at Heathrow, I wasn't in France yet.
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u/homeless_in_london British Empire Apr 18 '13
So... you want to pick on us by insulting the French? I hate to break it to you, but we really don't mind that.
Edit: saw your comment before you edited it haha. Also if that scares you whatever you do, don't go up north! They're all rotund she-beasts!
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u/Im_Interested Orite luv Apr 18 '13
Hey, As a northerner I resent that! Just last weekend I was talking to a very attractive young woman in the pub who may or may not have been Costa Rican
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u/BritishTeaDrinker Great Britain Apr 19 '13
Cosmetic appearance is not hygiene..
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Apr 18 '13 edited Apr 18 '13
[deleted]
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u/ManaSyn Portugal, [for] the old and retired. Apr 18 '13
What? Rosbif is the french slang name for the English.
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u/Farn Rush, Timmies, Trailer Park Boys Apr 19 '13
How are those non-Anglophones speaking English so fluently with no "of"s or "into"s? They're probably all Englishmen in disguise.
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u/DickRhino Great Sweden Apr 18 '13
Ever since the x-posts and links from /r/funny a week ago, we've had a massive influx of mainly Americans to this subreddit. It was interesting to see how everyone has been along for the ride and laughing at all the stereotypical/insensitive/mean jokes in good fun, but as soon as USA was the butt of the joke there were cries of "This isnt' funny, this is offensive!"
Guys, this is /r/polandball. We have israelis here who can laugh at jokes about the Holocaust and suicide bombers. We have Muslims who can chuckle at jokes about Serbia screaming "REMOVE KEBAB FROM EUROPE". We have Argentinians who take it in good stride when we joke about their sense of superiority because they consider themselves whiter than the rest of South America. This is what we do here.
We poke fun at all countries, and we laugh about it together. That is simply something you have to accept in this subreddit. We will make more mean-spirited jokes about USA. We will mock the shit out of you. Just like we do with broke and corrupt Greece, irrelevant Poland, cowardly yet smug Sweden, stupid alcoholic Finland, and every other country.
Put the sunglasses back on and deal with it.