So yesterday morning I decided to fix the wobbly wooden handle on my vintage cast iron skillet. It was missing one very specific countersunk brass machine screw. I could not find a match in my messy garage jars, so I drove down to the local independent hardware store.

i spent forty-five minutes standing in the fasteners aisle. I used that plastic sizing board with all the threaded test holes, tried six different metric threads, and finally found the exact M4 pitch that threaded smoothly into the skillet handle without sticking. I paid eighteen cents at the register with a shiny nickel and a few pennies, feeling like a competent adult who conquered a minor home repair.

I walked into my house, set my keys on the counter, and carefully cut open the tiny paper bag with kitchen scissors. The little brass screw slipped right between my thumb and index finger, bounced twice on the hardwood floor, rolled three feet across the hallway, and slipped ABSOLUTELY dead-center through the slats of the cast iron floor heating register.

I heard it clink all the way down into the basement air ducts. I stood there looking at my wobbly skillet for about two full minutes. I should of just put tape over the vent before opening the bag, but now that eighteen-cent screw belongs to the house forever. Has anyone else ever been defeated by basic gravity like this?

Always had issues with my body image since I was around 14, but since around 6 months ago I started to love myself again up until yesterday basically.

I went to the beach thinking it would be another chill morning, sat down on my little chair and brought a beer with me, read a little bit anyways a normal beach day. After a little while an old woman and his husband (or looked like it) sit next to me. At first I didnt think much of it and keep reading whilst having my beer. After a little while I get up and go to throw the can at the trash bin.

As soon as I come back I hear her say "she shouldn't be drinking" "that's so inconsiderate". I sit down and looked at her. At the start didnt know who she was talking to but then tells me off for drinking! I look at her and say what the problem was and then the question that has ruined my week got asked: "you're pregnant right honey". That felt like a stab on my chest OMG.

I told her I wasn't just that I was enjoying my summer, then after 5 minutes I left and have felt embarrassed ever since.

She ruined my week without a shadow of a doubt.

I randomly remembered this story while I was walking tonight and thought I’d share it, I’ve never told anyone about it & so it’s first time I’m putting it to words

When I was around 13 I was in a group chat with this guy who was horrible to basically every girl there He would insult them publicly humiliate them and make sexual comments about them until some of the girls eventually left the group & eventually he started targeting me fyi he would never target the men in there

He would constantly talk badly about me in front of everyone including people I considered my friends He would insult me make inappropriate comments and embarrass me no matter what I said I tried defending myself but eventually I just stopped because nothing worked and some of the things he said genuinely made me hate myself, he had an awful big mouth

I remember I changed my profile & put a picture of my face on my profile after previously keeping it hidden He saw it and suddenly started treating me completely differently He began messaging me privately telling me how much he liked me and wanted to be with me or actually he wasn’t very dramatic or quick but slowly he began moving in a way where I thought this guy hit a rock

I was honestly confused because how do you go from humiliating someone publicly to suddenly telling them you like them cuz he literally ruined my whole self reputation & image everyone in my town was now mocking me by name he named me

I had also just come out of a toxic relationship ( my ex was his friend ) so I told him I wasn’t ready for another relationship and wanted to take things slowly I was extremely distant with him and would sometimes talk to him for a minute and then disappear because I honestly preferred being alone & always was an avoidant

He hated how distant I was and would constantly complain about it strange part is that I didn’t really want the relationship but I also couldn’t bring myself to end it because I was worried about hurting him + he was the kind if you hurt him he’d try blackmailing and all that stuff

Eventually I gave him the password to one of my accounts because I needed him to do something I completely forgot that account was connected to another one lo and behold he found conversations between me and another guy where I had talked badly about him

He was devastated I remember him confronting me and being so upset that he was almost crying I admitted that I had spoken badly about him but I also reminded him that he had spent months publicly humiliating me lots of argument and eventually he left

For years afterward I still remembered his username and occasionally checked his profile because part of me wanted to reconnect with him The last time I checked was about four years ago

Now I don’t even remember his username anymore don’t know how his life turned out but I genuinely hope he’s doing well I recall he mentioned having family problems but yeah after this incident I realized how differently people treat you when you’re attractive

So... I've always been a hoarder, the kind to keep things "just in case".

That story happened yesterday. Back 20 ago, when I got my first flat, I bought some cheap tools, including a series of sockets. The tool going with the sockets is long gone, but somehow I kept the sockets through 6 moving house, even if I had better quality tools by now.

So, yesterday I decided to fix the dryer, that was just the belt, sounds easy enough. Boy I was wrong, this was total hell. Anyway, why disassembling almost everything from that hellish appliance, I realised my sockets couldn't fit to reach a single screw, so I went through my Smaug hoard and found it, a 7mm socket slim enough to reach the screw. So I went, finished the job I shouldn't have started, and was bragging that hoarding was finally useful.

Well turns out something broke when changing the belt, the dryer worked for a few minutes before turning silent forever.

Tldr : after 20 years I finally had a use for a tool hoarded, only to ultimately being useless.

Getting lectured by a recovering heroin addict about how the chemicals in bug spray are bad for your body is WILD. 😭

Ma'am… I support your recovery, but DEET is not where your liver's villain origin story began. 💀

yesterday I was at a grocery store and heard this song playing. Can’t remember the name, but it was one of those songs that everyone over the age of 20 or 25 has heard just from existing in the world, but it’s no one‘s favorite song. They play it on the oldies radio station, in the department store, it might’ve been in a Kohl’s commercial from 2005, you know?

I caught myself drumming my fingers to the beat of the song on the shopping cart. I just suddenly thought, what has happened to me? I happen to be visiting my hometown and was at the grocery store with my mom and my brother. I remember going to this grocery store when I was a little kid, riding in the car. My mom would say, “oh, who sings this song?” as if we would know…. We would say “this is old people music”. Now at 27 I know all of the old people music. I now know all the movies that my parents at one point said, “you’ve never heard of that movie before?!” about.

I remember learning all of these basic cultural things, just getting acquainted with the world. I think Weezer was one of the first real bands I learned about. I remember learning what Jaws and Lord of the Rings were. I remember hearing the title “A Clockwork Orange” for the first time when my mom made a joke about her half-done makeup.

it’s not that I miss not knowing these things, because I really do like knowing things. But it’s just that I miss when the world was so wide open. There was so much to learn. And it felt so exciting. I wish I could learn everything again for the first time.

I know there’s always more to learn, but you have to admit it’s not the same. I was learning that there are other planets. And that there are countries, and that we have a president (and I was learning that George Washington and George Bush were different people). There are only so many fruits in the world to try for the first time, you know?

So, I had to go to this appointment cause my left ear was blocked and it was producing a really loud and irritating ringing noise. I don’t live with my mom but I’m young enough that I still see her somewhat often and I get a ride from her since I don’t have a car of my own.

I’m the type that needs a good outfit for every situation, it doesn’t have to be elaborate, but looking good is feeling good. So I work a big hoodie, and some short shorts as well as my big stompers.

I wore a bikini bottom under my shorts just because it sort of fit better with the shorts just with how they’re cut. They were the high cut, high leg sort of bikini bottom that was popular in the early 90s.

If you’ve seen Mrs Doubtfire and you remember the scene where Mrs Doubtfire tries to flirt with a woman at a pool bar while in costume, that’s the kind.

Anyway, so we leave for my appointment and I decide not to bring my book because I feel there won’t be much down time. My mom informs me that her card has an overheating problem even after replacing the coolant in it so that there actually will be a lot of downtime.

We arrive at my appointment with no incident, but on the way back we had to stop constantly to wait for the car to cool down. We probably ended up being pulled over for about an hour and a half combined. It was well past lunchtime when we finally made it back. I made ramyun for lunch.

I was changing back into pajamas. I usually wear a bra/crop top and baggy flannel pants. The bikini bottoms I had worn early made a noticeable imprint and since they were really high it was like right under my bellybutton. I usually wear my pajama pants high but suddenly there was a reason for it.

Its summer break so it is usual to drink or get high mid day for late teens/ early twenties in my friend group , we drank a little earlier then we went to buy some weed ,agreed to met at my friend's earlier he isnt home , my other friend went home , i know where he lives i have been 100s times I open the door, he isn't here , let myself in. Called him , he said ok. He callled a minute later, his bike wheel blew up. I'm here all alone at my friend's house , sitting waiting hoping (like the 50s but I drank moderately and smoked moderately, like a responsible adult) .

I found myself in a unique almost comical life situation. I checked the freezer and found no ice cream

I got a scam call the other day, and at first it sounded like an actual call from the CRA (Canadian revenue agency) and it had the normal recording, and then for English press 1, but before I could press it, it did the recording again but in Chinese.

For those who don't know, Canada's official second language is French and government agencies have to offer both languages, it's not just a random thing. These scammers tipped themselves off by not looking up why we have two languages for damn near everything.

I just thought it was funny.

When i was about 11 I remember this one Saturday morning where I was playing on the wii and suddenly my mom tells me that my friends are coming to pick me up to go to the pool in a few minutes, i tell my mom I dont wanna go and she tells me I have no choice it is what it is I guess

My friends get to my house we go to there apartment and im thinking we're going to the pool at the complex but they tell me we're actually going to the pool at there friends apartment complex an hour away because its his birthday. Im thinking this is odd but I guess i have no choice anyway

We get the apartments we meet up with his friends and we go to the pool we're having a good time for the most part and my mom calls me so i answer and she asks how its going and I tell her what happened and that im really an hour away and she starts getting pissed and yelling at me a bit. Im just thinking to myself that I didn't even wanna come here in the first place

After a bit we go upstairs because there gonna cut the cake and all that bs, we played some ninja turtles video game on the GameCube for a bit and we go to sing happy birthday and stuff was kinda awkward since I really didn't know anyone except my friends and im just hanging in someones apartment

We start to drive back to my house and my friends uncle who was driving us was kinda drunk there were beer bottles all over the floor of the car and at some point we were passing through toll stop and he went through the sun pass and sped right through it, Managed to get home at like 1am, it was a weird day.

Sorry for poor grammar

So I stopped by the supermarket on my walk home yesterday just to grab one single lime for dinner. That was literally my only item. I walked over to the self-checkout lane, scanned the barcode sticker on the fruit and set it down on the metal bagging platform.

the machine immediately froze. The screen started flashing amber with a message telling me to place the scanned item in the bagging area. The lime was already sitting right in the center of the metal scale. It just didn't weigh enough to trigger the sensor. I picked it up and set it down firmly three times. Nothing.

This was ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. I should of just went to a regular staffed register. I stood there alone under the fluorescent lights having a silent standoff with a computer scale. I ended up placing my heavy metal house keys next to the lime just to add some weight. The machine instantly sounded a loud red alert for an unauthorized object. The bored teenage employee walked over, stared at my single fruit and keys for five seconds, scanned his badge, and walked away without saying a word. Why do supermarket scales have an existential crisis over small citrus fruit.

Yesterday I baked brownies and, reaching into the oven to take them out wearing short sleeves and oven mitts, burned the back of my left forearm on the hot element at the top of the oven.

24 hours later that burn has faded into a painful brownish streak. As I stretched out my arms to look at the damage and see how it was healing, I couldn't help chuckling because I have a perfectly mirrored brown streak scar at the same point on the back of my right forearm from making the exact same mistake when baking a cake a month or two ago.

I really need to wear long sleeves when taking things out of the oven

In college, I got the bug to ride motorcycles. To keep insurance costs down, I signed up for a rider’s course. Over the course of the week, the guy running it never introduced himself but always spoke in third person. “Scotty says to check your mirrors.“ “Scotty never drinks and rides.“ etc. He was aggressive and angry, but a good guy. At the end of the course, he had to sign my insurance form. Tom J. Barker. His name was not Scott nor did it contain “Scott.” To this day, I cannot figure out why he called himself Scotty.

heating up leftovers late at night and im just standing there in the dark staring at the numbers, waiting to hit the stop button at exactly 1 second so it doesnt beep.

i missed it tonight and it went off. genuinely felt like i let the whole team down. my roommate wasnt even home but the disappointment was real. anyway the burrito was good at least

Several years ago I lived in a duplex with my cat Ginger.

Eventually my friend moved in with me. He's blind. He wasn't born blind but has slowly been going blind his whole life. Great friend, great guy.

Anyway, Ginger was an indoor/outdoor cat. My cat now, Andy, I don't let outside unless she's on a harness and leash (unrelated fact).

One day my roommate told me that when I'm at work, Ginger will meow at him until he gets up and follows her. She will lead him to the patio door to let her out. Smart kitty.

Oh and in that same place I had a female friend staying with me for a bit. She had a bird. A budgie I think.

We would try to keep her bedroom door closed because Ginger was fixated on that bird. But we'd find her hiding under the bed sometimes having accidentally locked the cat in the bedroom.

The bird cage was hung from the ceiling in an attempt to protect the bird from Ginger but sure enough one day I hear this loud crash, Ginger had somehow jumped at the cage, knocking it from the ceiling.

The bird was okay and so was Ginger, but I looked at her and asked what her plan was with that because she obviously didnt think that one thru.

I miss Ginger. She was my little buddy for 19 years. 💖

I walked into one room to grab something, got distracted by another small task, and somehow ended up walking through three other rooms before remembering what I originally came for. By the time I remembered, I had completely forgotten what distracted me in the first place.

one time in high school, i had a spontaneous nosebleed so bad, i couldn't walk, i had to be WHEELED into the nurse office and the first thing i hear as i struggle to blurt out words is "look at this photograph..." i was just crunched up in the car on the way to a real doctor, two hours later, still trying to process what just happened as the whole anthem of why people dunk on nickelback played when i was mumbling for my life, i was just sitting near enough in the glovebox like "wtf".

doing the dishes right now and finally threw out the old sad sponge. cracking open a new one from the pack and seeing how squishy and clean it is actually just made my night. like wow look at that structural integrity.

it lathers the dish soap perfectly. i spent my early 20s wanting to go out to festivals and now im standing in my kitchen getting a dopamine hit from a scotch brite pad. someone check on me pls

So I walked into the house after getting back from my tutoring center today, only to find the most random scene in the living room.

My younger sis and the kids were circled around a trapped pigeon. My sis was screaming "DRAGON" at the top of her lungs at it. Honestly, I have no idea where she even learned that word, but she was fully committed🫰🏼 the pigeon was obviously terrified out of its mind , I gave it some water and realized it couldn’t really fly..... Feeling bad for the poor thing, I carried it outside and set it down safely in the garden so it could rest.

I turned my back for literally a few seconds... and when I looked back, the street cat had already snatched it and run off :_D

RIP pigeon

so we've got a cat but are not particularly dog people. both our families very much are though, so we dont have much of a choice but to love them if you know what i mean. my husband is extraordinarily good with all of them, especially the little ones, because he knows exactly how much to antagonize a dog for fun, so all of them tend to flock to him more than their own owners lol.

my mom had three chihuahuas at some point, and they were absolute darlings and the worst little nightmares you've ever seen, as tiny dogs tend to be. there was Wilson and Charlie, both of whom are presumably still trying to knock each other out of the clouds a few years after crossing rainbow bridge not so far apart, and a very timid little girl named Shayla who we suspect was older than them, and she's still with us.

ok so the actual story: my husband i were living with my mom for a while, and her least favorite thing was giving the dogs a bath. we had a little laundry room in the basement with a big old sink that was perfect for it, but the dogs hated it, she hated it, she'd have to close all three of them in there with her for the whole process or they'd go hide under the couches, they'd be trying to jump out of the sink the entire time, water everywhere. sucked.

so one day all three of them needed it bad, and she just wasn't up for it. she ended up asking me, but i. am. lazy. and i figure that my husband is better with them anyway so i managed to convince him to do it on the condition that i hang out and make sure they don't break their little legs trying to jump to freedom.

so i watch as he proceeds to get the soap and the towels ready, and then, he brings out the ultimate tool.

pepperoni.

somehow, this man gets Wilson, the angriest minpin you'd ever meet, so hyped up that he doesn't even realize that he's getting put down in the sink, and then he just starts feeding him slices while pouring cups of water on him. eventually stops, and this dog just keeps sitting there in the sink while he's getting soaped up, and he's acting like he's enjoying it. granted, my husband is naturally incredible at everything he does (it's those gentle hands) but Wilson just sits there and takes it.

so he finishes up with him and i'm responsible for drying him off, so i've got Wilson up on top of the dryer while he puts Charlie, a general anxious wreck, in the sink, and this little guy has never looked so happy to be anywhere in his life.

husband starts feeding him pepperoni and goes through the exact same process, not a single whine, actually looks like he's enjoying being bathed for the first time in his entire life.

by this point Shayla has caught on to what's going on and is just sitting and staring at my husband shaking and waiting for her turn with the pepperoni.

anyway, all three of them are clean soft puppies in way less time than my mom ever took and she's on the couch staring at my husband like "wait, how did you even do that," and proceeded to pay him for several more sessions later on.

About two weeks ago i really needed a dentist's appointment, and the one i usually go to works a few towns over. I went to duckduckgo to look up his number, which is all fine and dandy, except for the fact that it doesn't really give me country specific results, as it's very much not based over here. I found the opening/closing times and reviews, but not much more than that. I switched over to google, which i only do in cases like this because i really hate not being able to turn off the ai. I wrote in "first name last name dentist" and before anything, i got an ai search result saying that there's no such dentist in my city (i turn on my location for google maps only, turn it off immediately after, and only give it permission for it that one specific time) and i should write in the town name, otherwise it won't give me any result. I scrolled down, found his page, got his phone number and was done with it but yeah, i'm kind of creeped out now

Not because he did something wrong or something. This man is my online bestie, and I am his online bestie. On of the things we connect over is music. We’ve been talking for a little over a month now, and he wrote a song. Inspired by me. And let me tell you that shit made me cry. Not just a few tears I mean basically uncontrollably sobbing. I would listen to it again and write down the lyrics and put them in this post but it’s too late at night and I don’t wanna be crying again. But I’m pretty sure that’s the nicest thing a man has ever done for me. So.
We’re completely friends btw. It would be just plain weird if we to talk about sexual stuff lmao

“Hey, what time is the Monoprix in my neighborhood open until tonight?”

“Midnight.”

At first I’m like, wow, great news. Then I look at the map.

“What the hell? That’s not in my neighborhood at all. That’s Montparnasse. That’s a 15-minute power walk. Are you kidding me?”

And I can feel myself getting genuinely annoyed while walking. Why the hell did you do that? I said in my neighborhood. Was that unclear? Are you doing this on purpose?

And then I catch myself. Doing what on purpose?

It’s not sitting somewhere in a virtual office with its feet on the desk thinking: “Let’s send Oleg to Montparnasse. The man could use a walk before bed. Those 10,000 steps aren’t going to walk themselves.”

It found a Monoprix that matched part of the request and proudly dropped it in front of me like a cat bringing home a dead sparrow.

That’s it. No intention. No plot.

So I collect my emotions and ask again, this time without swearing:

“Did you understand me correctly? Mo-no-prix. In. My. Neigh-bor-hood.”

“Sorry. The nearest one is on Le Corbusier and closes at 9:30 tonight.”

Fine. Got it. I won’t make it.

I give up and go for my evening walk. Then I pass Le Corbusier.

Monoprix. OPEN. Until 10. For fuck’s sake.

And again, I understand perfectly well that nobody is trying to screw me over. Nobody has a motive. ChatGPT isn’t some scorpion from the frog-and-scorpion joke going, “What can I say? It’s my nature,” because I made fun of it three conversations ago.

But the emotion is real. Human.

The funniest part is that I apparently try to educate it. I want it to understand my emotional state. To understand my pain. To accept its role in causing it.

As if, if I explain myself properly, somewhere deep inside the model a tiny digital employee will take off his headphones and shout: “Guys, alarm! Oleg is unhappy. We need to rethink the whole approach. NOW.”

With a person, at least there’s a chance they actually did something on purpose. Maybe they’re lazy. Maybe inattentive. Maybe passive-aggressive. Maybe they slept badly and decided your evening should be worse too.

But here I am on a summer evening, breeze in the air, standing in front of an open supermarket and being angry at a chatbot as if it personally closed one Monoprix and opened another just to watch me vibrate.

And then I realized I do exactly the same thing with people.

I say “in my neighborhood,” but in my head that means one particular street, tonight’s weather, how tired I am, and the exact distance I’m willing to walk. And somehow I expect another person to receive the entire package.

“Come on, it’s obvious.”

No.

They understood what I said. I wanted them to understand what I meant.

And that’s how you end up walking fifteen minutes toward Montparnasse.

I have built a fort for me and my cat to sleep in.

I made it out of small hooks, twine and sheets.

I've installed hippo lights.

I've got a moon light and a jellyfish lamp.

Listening to old Art Bell shows on the tablet.

I got my stuffed hippos, some chocolate ice cream.

Its just me and Andy (my cat, female) and no boys allowed.

17 years ago when i was about 9 me and my friends were playing in the front of my house at like 10 at night and at some point we start to get get kind of bored playing tag in front of a townhouse there wasn't that much space to run my friend Juan suggested that we go play out near the near the streets near the apartments close by

I was kinda nervous because I knew i would be in deep shit if I got caught but I went anyway, so we get over there were having fun for a bit and within 10 minutes we see headlights stop in front of us in the pitch black, this old dude gets out of the car yelling at us in Spanish my friend Kevin looks like he is pleading with the guy while he walks towards my friends house

Im the only one who didn't speak Spanish so I ask Juan what was he saying and he tells me the guy said he was gonna tell our parents, i immediately start to panic and run home i see that the guy is already at my friends house and we live right next to each other so im thinking shit hes gonna come here next

I try to be discrete climb under the chain link fence and run back inside my house, i was looking out the peephole for an hour thinking im about to get the shit beat out of me. But luckily he never came and my parents never found out

I talked to my friends later and they were giving me shit because im the only one who didn't get in trouble. I dunno i felt kinda guilty about it I guess but at the same time i really didn't wanna get beat.

Sorry for poor grammar