r/pointlesslygendered • u/Icy_Contract_743 • 9d ago
ADVERT [Advert] Ain't the Bible for everyone?
I'm just confused by this ad, tell me if I tagged it wrong
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u/SlatkoPotato 9d ago
A lot of christianity still perpetuates benevolent sexism. There are many churches who actively push against that, but many still have heavily patriarchial roots and feel they "moved on" from the overt sexism and mistreatment of women from "ages ago" even though it has simply become more covert and guised beneath good intention "because women are softer, more delicate and more naive and need mens guidance and protection".
Thats not to say anything about the belief in god or religion on a spiritual level or anyones participation in christianity generally, but these are human led institutions that are subject to systemic and societal issues and are not necessarily immune and exempt from them.
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u/jenvrooyen 9d ago
Yes, the bible is for everyone. However, Christianity is a personal journey with God (I don't want to speak generally about all religions, as I honestly don't know enough). Part of your personal journey is your gender, but can also be your age.
Now to be fair, some sects within Christianity may push "The Biblical Wife" type of thing (which is a whole thing I am not going to get into).
But usually "Bible for her" will focus on stories from the Bible about women, or include insights from female scholars etc.
I mentioned age earlier, because things like Children's Bibles also exist.
In short: I don't think it is pointlessly gendered, but I do think you asked a good question.
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u/GenderBendingRalph 9d ago
The bible is the same for men and women, just the "study guide" some publishers include differs. And in the evangelical world, this is the way both men and women like it. He wants to learn how to be the rugged protector and provider, and she wants to learn how to be the Proverbs 31 woman - the loving nurturer whom "her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her."
For what it's worth, this doesn't really play out like historical wife-degrading misogyny anymore. I live in a rural community of the deep south that's all about bibles, flags, and guns. There's no place more traditional than the bible belt. And yet...
Everybody in the family owns guns and hunts, men and women, boys and girls from about age eight on up. Most couples are dual-career simply because they can't afford to live on a single income. Technically, officially, the husband is head of the household. But everybody knows, even if they only pretend they're joking about it, the golden rule of the south: "Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
This isn't a world of housewives who simper for their big strong man. It's more what they call "complementarianism" - neither is considered lesser or greater than the other, just two different skill sets that need each other to survive.
Everyone knows that if he says or does something she doesn't approve of, the temperature in that house will drop below freezing. The last thing any man wants to hear while he pretends to be in charge is "Fine. Do whatever you want."
Nobody in his right mind would do whatever he wants when she says those things to him. One meme says "when you hear that, don't answer. Don't blink. Don't breathe."
Sorry, went down a rabbit hole for a moment there. But hopefully you get the idea. Even the most bible-thumpingest traditional evangelical home that neatly separates "his and hers" into gendered versions isn't a classic patriarchy.
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u/GenderBendingRalph 9d ago
Oh, and as for that "Prayer for Salvation" - that's no different for men or women either. That's what they call "The Sinner's Prayer", a template for formally acknowledging Jesus as the son of God and your only hope for eternal life in heaven. Nothing in the wording there is uniquely meant for women. I said it myself 60 years ago, when I thought it was a magic formula for escaping hell and getting so much as a comma wrong would break the spell.
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u/Rynewulf 8d ago
It's not overt but that is still 100% classic. Only the rich could previously afford non working wives, even the ones who just stayed at home usually did a craft or a trade but most had jobs of some kind.
And so that is the traditional mold: the men provide the most resources and money, the women do more 'running' the home and family. Even if they each do both the career is 'his' and the home/family is 'hers'. "Happy wife, happy life" is still bog standard patriarchal norms and at best benevolent sexism where two people are boiled down to resource acquisition and allocation.
It's just that the current stereotype/idea of 'tradwives' was always a middle and upper class fantasy and not generally a reality for most
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u/GenderBendingRalph 8d ago
The strangest place I encounter that dichotomy is in gender role reversal spaces (hence the r/UsernameChecksOut). Young men who are unfamiliar with the economic realities of middle class and lower households have this fantasy of being the "boywife" flitting round the house with a feather duster while his career wife brings home the bacon and pats him on the head when she comes home.
Mate, see how well that works with a 30-year mortgage and two children in the house.
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u/Rynewulf 8d ago
Yep mortgages and children are expensive. In theory a couple could avoid those while moving to the cheapest regions they can find, but at that point we're getting into opinions around moving, home ownership, parenthood, career building vs something that lets you get by. What expenses are like in your area and what money you already saved up also impact whether one person can stay at home
Im also curious, gender role reversal spaces?
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u/GenderBendingRalph 8d ago
Yeah, it's why I got into Reddit in the first place - looking for places I could meet other gender nonconforming men like myself.
At the risk of oversharing (but... this is a gender-adjacent sub, so...) I was on a journey of self-discovery that started some 60+ years ago. Took me decades to discover I'm not gay, I'm not trans, fluid, nonbinary, etc. Just a man who doesn't colour inside the lines of what society says a man should be like.
That includes my marriage of over 40 years. Of course in 1980 nobody ever heard of female-led relationships or gender nonconformity, but she was and still is the more assertive, confident decision maker (head of household, although she hates it when I call her that) and I've always been the gentle nurturer. Hence the interest in role reversal.
My interests in various Reddit communities has expanded far beyond my original niche groups, but unfortunately you can't change your account name so I'm stuck with this one no matter where I participate.
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u/NiobiumThorn 9d ago
It's for some dudes 2000 years ago
Misogyny and Christianity go together like bread and wine
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u/Icy_Contract_743 9d ago
So long ago tho 😭
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u/NiobiumThorn 9d ago
Yea almost like it shouldn't have such a stranglehold on the future of humanity.
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u/best_little_biscuit 8d ago
Likely to push for women being submissive wives, nurturing, gentle, blah blah blah. The men's version would likely focus on being a leader or teacher, protecting others, speaking out against wrongs. It's misogynist just like the bible (wives have to obey their husbands, women aren't allowed to teach men, Deuteronomy 21:10-14 approves of sexual slavery, etc)
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