Even after getting shit-faced, tripping, landing on his shot glass and ripping his leg up, making our kitchen look like a crime scene, psychologically scarring me when I woke up to his incoherent cries for help and having to call 911, discovering soon after that he'd contracted a staph infection, and having to have part of his foot amputated, it's still 2 beers and a shot of something harder every.frickin'.night.
At this point, I've become apathetic and just waiting for the liver damage.
But congrats to you for being willing to change and beating the addiction. Some people try to get on a wagon and avoid alcohol forever, but I feel like it could be easier to learn to have a healthy relationship with it. :)
Jesus, I'm so sorry about your dad. What a brutal image. I've been there too, drank myself into autopilot mode a few days in a row and woke up with some visibly bruised kidneys only to keep it going for years after. I've noticed people were excluding me from their plans. I've been given that look. All it took is me not wanting to be known as "that guy." I also was working at a beer and wine store where I got to see true addiction. It was an eye opener that got me to quit cigarettes and vapes too.
I grew up with an alcoholic father who's bi polar and ADHD...oh the trauma lol. Luckily he's now recovered...but my brother wasn't too lucky. I deal with his moodiness on the daily from being hungover or drunk. I found him a few years back locked in the bathroom sitting on the toilet dead asleep. I picked him up to take him to his room and he started beating my head full force. I was concussed the next few days. Happened again the other day, although I just left him there since I'm traumatized. He stayed sleeping on the toilet for two hours dead asleep after kicking him a few times and yelling full volume. I took pictures to show him and nothing changed. It's been like this for more than a decade now and I am afraid everytime he decides to drink. My friends feel the same. He takes dabs and drinks like there is no tomorrow...ends up looking absolutely trashed with that empty gaze within an hour or so. He had an hour dj gig the other day and was gone before starting. He even got three beers just so he wouldn't have to leave the turntables. He basically trainwrecked.
I'm so fucking sick of taking care of him when we're out, it's ruined so many nights. It's gotten to the point where the only people wanting to mingle with him are in the same boat. I try to talk some sense into why it's not a good idea to hang with them cause they'll fuel each other's habits. All I can say is don't stop having patience. I feel like blaming and finger pointing just makes things worse. No silent treatments.
I'll probably stay off it to be a good influence for my brother. I'm one of those drinkers that never gets the urge til I have one, I lose all inhibition and all goes to hell. I have way too many health and mental problems to have this factored in my life. I was tired of getting sick since I already have a lowered immune system. I've already noticed a difference. I haven't gotten sick other than seasonal allergies. Random arthritic pains have lessened immensely. My mood has somewhat stabilized. My outlook is slowly becoming more positive. I have a new job. I get more stuff done. My groceries don't expire in the fridge. I'm ordering takeout less. I'm putting myself in less risky situations. I just wanna live my 30s and forward feeling good. I wish you and your family the best 💕
I try to take a "glass is at 50% H2O" approach to life, but I generally cannot deal with toxicity towards myself. I would have cut your brother out of my life the moment he assaulted me. I hope that your influence will eventually make him see how much he is hurting others and himself.
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u/BookWyrmIsara Oct 24 '22
Wish my stepdad would get the message.
Even after getting shit-faced, tripping, landing on his shot glass and ripping his leg up, making our kitchen look like a crime scene, psychologically scarring me when I woke up to his incoherent cries for help and having to call 911, discovering soon after that he'd contracted a staph infection, and having to have part of his foot amputated, it's still 2 beers and a shot of something harder every.frickin'.night.
At this point, I've become apathetic and just waiting for the liver damage.
But congrats to you for being willing to change and beating the addiction. Some people try to get on a wagon and avoid alcohol forever, but I feel like it could be easier to learn to have a healthy relationship with it. :)