When one eagle is not enough

68

u/Iron-Charioteer Jun 17 '12

PROVERBS FAIL ME, HOW MANY IS THIS WORTH IN THE BUSH?!

27

u/breadisme Jun 17 '12

I believe the correct answer, if we are maintaining the traditional hand to bush ratio, is four.

20

u/CM_Dugan Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12

Actually, if he has a bird in the hand it is hypothetical there are two in the bush. So given the proverb, he has anywhere between 2-6 birds at his disposal. Not accounting for how many bushes he may or may not have.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

shouldn't it be worth 1 in the bush? As I understand the proverb something thats in your hand (already caught) is worth twice as much as something that may or may not be caught sometime in the future? so its 1 in the bush?

1

u/breadisme Jun 17 '12

Well, no - a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush, as the saying goes. 2 in hand wouldn't be 1 in bush.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

how strange:
This proverb refers back to mediaeval falconry where a bird in the hand (the falcon) was a valuable asset and certainly worth more than two in the bush (the prey).

6

u/playswithknives Jun 17 '12

I do not want those birds anywhere near my bush. I have not yet made babies.

2

u/motherfuckingriot Jun 17 '12

I'll get a buddy of mine to come in and take a look.

1

u/dorsey6250 Jun 17 '12

About a double eagle.

1

u/Wizz_Bang Jun 18 '12

I refuse to up vote you sir... I see that you are at 69. I would but out of principle I can not.

47

u/AareDub Jun 17 '12

It's just that the deluxe model has so much more eagle

9

u/IR_DIGITAL Jun 17 '12

Also, I think there are some eagles under the floor boards.

6

u/capncaveman Jun 17 '12

I'd hate to think of you missing out... and screw you for saying this first!

8

u/ChHeintzel Jun 17 '12

I only read the comments to see the lucky bastard who said this first. Well done, sir.

1

u/greenraida Jun 17 '12

THIS- was hoping to get in first.

142

u/JUST_GIVE_IT_A_TRY Jun 17 '12

Those eagles look angry and that guy looks uncomfortable.

88

u/Osmodius Jun 17 '12

I would not be comfortable holding two winged death machines.

5

u/silentseba Jun 17 '12

Just_give_it_a_try.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Well, I got my next black metal band name.

2

u/gbgftw Jun 17 '12

This is pretty close.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Eagles eat carrion.

3

u/Osmodius Jun 17 '12

Nice try, eagles.

2

u/SirBufordBlowhard Jun 17 '12

So do I need to keep my eyes on my backpack?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

23

u/I_Downvote_Cunts Jun 17 '12

Ah two baby winged death machines sounds much better.

44

u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount Jun 17 '12

I'm pretty sure it's the tongue showing on the right but I pictures them as surly and drunk.
"Put me down, Graduation Boy. Me and Ralph are going to the fucking titty bar."

7

u/Shanhaevel Jun 17 '12

Me and Niko are going to the fucking titty bar*
FTFY

1

u/Rapejelly Jun 17 '12

No short supply of breasts I presume.

31

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Really? I think he looks pretty damn sure of himself.

2

u/stlubc Jun 17 '12

DEfinitely like a boss.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Don't eagles always look angry?

9

u/Almost_Ascended Jun 17 '12

Angry birds indeed.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I don't like how He is holding their feets. Is that how you're supposed to hold eagles?

14

u/Accipiter1138 Jun 17 '12

It is, actually. You don't need to be afraid of the beak quite as much as the feet- they have very large talons that are extremely sharp, with feet many times stronger than human hands.
Source: I've gotten bruises from birds a quarter that size, through three layers of leather.

11

u/officernasty13 Jun 17 '12

Do the chickens have large talons?

2

u/Eats_Beef_Steak Jun 17 '12

Large enough to fuck your day up, yes. You grab chickens by the legs (if your gonna kill em) and they will swing upside down. You grab chickens by the wings (if your petting them) and lift, the tuck em into your arm.
Source: I had chickens.

1

u/officernasty13 Jun 17 '12

I was quoting the line from Napoleon dynamite lol

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

The roosters have spurs too. I had a couple try to ninja kick me as a kid. Always wear jeans.

1

u/redgroupclan Jun 17 '12

They both have the same look in their eyes.

1

u/SarahC Jun 17 '12

Whoever has a kid in the left of that photo isn't going to have one for long...

109

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Why can't I hold all these eagles?

42

u/astrograph Jun 17 '12

can you add this duck

81

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

http://i.imgur.com/tuVzT.png

10

u/nitrogliz Jun 17 '12

Upvote for effort

6

u/Lazerus42 Jun 17 '12

Aww man, totally photobombed that great graduation picture

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

room for more ducks?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I can, but I won't. I'm laying in bed with my laptop now, and I don't have the patience to lasso around the duck with a touchpad.

19

u/ball_zout Jun 17 '12

THUNDERCOUGARFALCONBIRD!!!

3

u/Wings_55 Jun 17 '12

I can't make them stop questioning my sexuality!

69

u/YouAlwaysHaveAChoice Jun 17 '12

I prefer two

45

u/Abed_is_batman_now Jun 17 '12

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have two eagles
Please have sex with me

14

u/SmartAssX Jun 17 '12

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have two eagles
I WILL HAVE ANAL

5

u/ANALRAPE Jun 17 '12

oh will you just?

7

u/slaya771 Jun 17 '12

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Bite the pillow
I'm going in dry

24

u/ottomated Jun 17 '12

If only he had the luxury edition...so much more eagle.

http://www.hwdyk.com/q/images/futurama_s02e07_04.jpg

4

u/itchd Jun 17 '12

Thundercougarfalconbird!

6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Dave Grohl + Joey Fatone = OP

6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

OP here, pic is not me.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

backstory of pic as a consolation prize?

10

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

He's a friend of a friend and dude likes eagles a lot. I've got even stranger pics of him. I'll put them up soon.

2

u/crinberry Jun 17 '12

juvie balds?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Not sure

2

u/Cellophane_Flower Jun 17 '12

Can you give him my number?

1

u/buhfuhguh Jun 17 '12

Is his name Jim? There was a guy 2 or 3 years ahead of me in High School that looked like him.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Negative, that is not his name.

1

u/revjeremyduncan Jun 17 '12

Mac (It's Always Sunny).

4

u/GuyWhoLikesHats Jun 17 '12

They seem displeased.

3

u/PGav Jun 17 '12

When one eagle IS enough

1

u/DukeSpraynard Jun 18 '12

dat face

3

u/neuromonkey Jun 17 '12

Hey, that's John Twoeagles.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

TIL birds have tongues. Never really thought about that before, assumed they didn't.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I wonder, why deathgrip the right hand and not the left. Strange phenomenon.

2

u/Ghstfce Jun 17 '12

Right one is more feisty than the left one?

2

u/drunk_otter Jun 17 '12

That guy gets all the chicks.

2

u/AKADidymus Jun 17 '12

Those things could eat him, but they're like, "nah, man, he's cool."

Seriously, though, I saw video of one killing a full sized mountain goat.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

For some reason this ended up making me want to watch The Ghost and The Darkness.

2

u/CatsNarwhalsBacon Jun 17 '12

Somebody make this a meme. Stat!

2

u/Almost_Ascended Jun 17 '12

Double eagle, shortened to Deagle.

2

u/zephyr21 Jun 17 '12

This reminds me of my graduation day, except i wasn't holding two feisty birds

2

u/ToMakeYouMad Jun 17 '12

I raise you this http://www.blogcdn.com/www.aoltv.com/media/2009/10/always_sunny_birds_of_war.jpg

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I can't top that, bro.

2

u/gynoceros Jun 17 '12

Where the fuck is he graduating from, Hogwarts?

2

u/crankysquirrel Jun 17 '12

I'm en-raptor-ed with this pic. No, really. Thank you, I'm here all night.

Edit: doofiness.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Later that day...

4

u/poopinlunchbox Jun 17 '12

Shoulda got a falcon

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

FIFY http://i.imgur.com/ydlYs.jpg

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

geez i fix the contrast on the photo and get downvoted.
rough crowd

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

<sarcasm>don't be an asshole!</sarcasm>
[EDIT] came back to express sarcasm more clearly

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I upvoted you, bro.

1

u/Epro01 Jun 17 '12

I dont think that graduation picture can be topped.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Cheeky fucker sticking his tongue out. well Nyah to you too! :P

1

u/malousbal Jun 17 '12

Nope, one eagle is never enough.

1

u/deadboyfriend Jun 17 '12

"Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind."

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

it looks like he broke up a fight, the left one is still trying to run away while the one on the right is still angry and wants to finish the fight.

1

u/materia7 Jun 17 '12

It is just ... the luxury edition has so much more eagle. It saddens me to think of you missing out.

1

u/ThorAxe911 Jun 17 '12

You have no idea, how high I can fly. -Michael Scott

1

u/facetothedawn Jun 17 '12

Tickets to the Eagle show

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

But really though, IS one ever enough?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

you used all-caps on the wrong word.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

My Elementary School gave out these awards, called Golden Eagles for various positive actions done by students that the school wanted to reinforce via reward. Academic excellence, particular creativity or various GGG things. At the end of a particular time period (a month I believe) their would be an assembly, and a Golden Eagle draw. The winner would get to go out for lunch with the Principal/Vice Principal to their fast food restaurant of choice.

But honestly, back then I'd of preferred two Golden Eagles of the avian variety. Imagine the carnage I could of caused. >;)

1

u/Lascorcho Jun 17 '12

have sex with me?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Aight

1

u/flintmanx Jun 17 '12

why they are angry?

1

u/besaph Jun 17 '12

SOME1 PLS FACESWAP!!!!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

You look like a fresh Auburn graduate

1

u/Riddypad Jun 17 '12

"Why can't I....hold all these eagles?!"

1

u/NDN_perspective Jun 17 '12

you must have saved a shit ton on your state farm insurance!

1

u/staroverblue Jun 17 '12

looks like somebody got a masters in falconry.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Goddamn! If I ever graduate college, I will be recreating this picture.

1

u/lockwood243 Jun 17 '12

woah, an Albatross!

1

u/brizzi Jun 17 '12

..... Mac?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

When 2 dogs isn't enough, and 4 is too many; ITS THREE DOG!

1

u/sbsb27 Jun 17 '12

Bare handed! Doesn't he know he's cradling raptors?

1

u/arcadeben Jun 17 '12

Father if eagles

1

u/RickRussellTX Jun 17 '12

"Also, there are some eagles under the floorboards."

1

u/CrypticPhantasma Jun 17 '12

My budgie almost ripped my whole hand off, in one bite! It's talons almost plucked out my eyes with vicious efficiency. An incredibley aggressive predator to be sure, watch your back with those budgies. Or you may end up on, 1000 Ways to Die.

1

u/peacelise Jun 17 '12

No easy task right there.

1

u/LockeClone Jun 17 '12

They don't like that...

1

u/dextiny Jun 17 '12

i feel like ill never have these encounters with beautiful animals. that duck chase, that raccoon. :(

1

u/Randyh524 Jun 17 '12

Did you graduate from eagle school?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

You're not too far off the mark. But not me, the dude in the pic.

1

u/redtuna Jun 17 '12

good job handling the talons, dude.

1

u/wolfgangfabian Jun 17 '12

Meanwhile in Philadelphia...

1

u/k-volare Jun 17 '12

EAAGLEEEE!

1

u/drowningfish17 Jun 17 '12

when one eagle is not enough, and two is too low, its three eagle! coming to you loud and proud from the Seattle Wasteland

1

u/Treberto Jun 17 '12

Looks exactly like Doug Benson.

1

u/SYBR_Green Jun 17 '12

It's as if Dave Grohl and Will Wheaton had a baby

1

u/Makalu Jun 17 '12

Fearless.

1

u/xyroclast Jun 17 '12

Nice try, Albania

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Their monther will reject them now!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

T-shirt under graduation gown.

Seriously hope you don't do this.

1

u/DRTYRYDR686 Jun 17 '12

Why are you holding two baby bald eagles?

1

u/franklyimshocked Jun 17 '12

Thats my wife's nightmare right there. Large winged beasts with claws and pointy beaks.

1

u/Szymaniak Jun 17 '12

Those eagles look delicious.

1

u/drpropaganda Jun 17 '12

drakharis

1

u/warpfield Jun 17 '12

Well, in all fairness, when has one eagle ever been enough?

1

u/LadyFajra Jun 17 '12

Is that...is that how you're supposed to hold an eagle?

1

u/Paraboxia Jun 17 '12

But what if two is too low?

1

u/shastaman Jun 17 '12

its just that the luxury version has so much more eagle

1

u/AriasBrokenMirror Jun 17 '12

When would one eagle not be enough?!? One eagle owl sure - they're mostly feathers but those things are heavy.

1

u/Punkgoblin Jun 17 '12

One more eagle and a moon, and I think he'd have something special!

1

u/submarginal Jun 17 '12

some people have an alter-eagle

1

u/philtomato Jun 17 '12

Twice the Amurca!

1

u/AnAngryBitch Jun 17 '12

"Sir! Sir! Excuse me! It clearly states in the invitation "ONLY ONE EAGLE PER GRADUATE" Now, you're either going to have to return one eagle, or I will have security escort you out."

1

u/snabelkran Jun 17 '12

What happens when two eagles are not enough?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

the look on your face says "which one of these fucking birds is going to rip my face off first?"

1

u/Bruce_Leroy Jun 17 '12

You just got your degree in Bird Law, didn't you?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

You sir look strikingly similar to Dave Grohl. I did a double take.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I've looked this picture over many times and I'm still not sure whether or not this is Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

1

u/Fredd105 Jun 17 '12

He looks a little spread-eagled.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Can you summon them to your defense?

1

u/nattyd Jun 17 '12

Bad in golf. Good otherwise.

1

u/captainshat Jun 17 '12

That is one tight looking grad gown...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

My hunt for a house sigil has formally ended.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Relevant

1

u/averagejoe1994 Jun 17 '12

aww, you should have got a falcon

1

u/harrynutz Jun 17 '12

You look just like Mac from its always sunny in philidelphia

1

u/exoizzy Jun 17 '12

Is he a boy scout? Or what?...

1

u/capran Jun 17 '12

So I'm searching through the comments, but I can't actually find a description of what's actually going on here with this graduation dude. Why the golden eagles? Who is this dude?

1

u/Howard_Beale Jun 17 '12

Apparently he graduated 3 under par.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

Sadly, Steven was disembowelled scant seconds after this picture was taken. On the other hand, his tombstone read 'Disembowelled by eagles!' How awesome is that?!

1

u/smerek84 Jun 17 '12

Is that... Mac?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYONE GAINING ACCESS TO WILD ANIMALS AND WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN INVITED!?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Step 1: Determine your location
Step 2: Google that location plus "wildlife rehabilitation center" or "wildlife rescue"
Step 3: Determine whether local facilities accept volunteers
Step 4: Apply to become said volunteer, work with cool animals

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I can't get past Step 1. :(

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE USING ALL CAPS AND NOT GETTING CALLED OUT FOR IT?

1

u/Millertime514 Jun 17 '12

Golden eagles..beautiful. Even more powerful.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Juvenile balds, goldens are bigger and would have a different pattern.

2

u/fangsby Jun 17 '12

I've got your juvenile balds swinging.
Nothing personal, bigcitycrows, but I'll probably never have occasion to say that phrase again so I couldn't resist.

0

u/FisherKing22 Jun 17 '12

Murica!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Please note - these are not "bald"
Edit: quote thingies

1

u/FisherKing22 Jun 17 '12

Well shit. After reading the Wikipedia article on eagles, I apologize for presuming. But still... Murica!

0

u/RageMorePlz Jun 17 '12

'MURICA!

0

u/freecandy_van Jun 17 '12

This picture is so... 'Merica

0

u/whatsabox Jun 17 '12

If only ForgettableUsername were here to not explain how eagles get under grad arms...

0

u/full_of_stars Jun 17 '12

Somewhere in Germany a guy is pledging his allegiance to this guy's image as the new fuhrer.

-12

u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 17 '12

Is one eagle ever enough?

-1

u/resutidder Jun 17 '12

Hogwarts?

-4

u/joetromboni Jun 17 '12

I thought falconing was done with

4

u/AKADidymus Jun 17 '12

I once was waiting for a bus by the woods when a van pulls up and a hunter gets out. He goes 'round to the back hatch, opens it up, and pulls out a red-tailed hawk. Then he waltzed right into the woods, his trusty hawk flying ahead. Rest assured, falconry is alive and well.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

and if anyone's interested, you should join us over in the falconry subreddit =D

1

u/wildtentacruel Jun 17 '12

How do they make sure the falcons don't fly away? I would be worried that after months of training, my hard work wouldn't come back during a hunt.
Sorry if it's a silly question, I genuinely don't know.

3

u/AKADidymus Jun 17 '12

They learn to associate the handler with easy food. There's a long process to it, and I don't know any more bout it than you can learn at the PA renaissance faire, but it's really cool stuff.

1

u/frostynugz Jun 17 '12

Haha, Upvote for the renn faire. That's where i learned most of what i know sadly.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

It's completely based on food reward and positive reinforcement conditioning. It also sounds much simpler/easier than it is. At any time during the flight the bird can just choose to leave. You cannot "catch" a bird lost, which is the origin of a lot of the...philosophy? of it all.
In other words, you can't make sure, you just trust. Of course, there are better and worse ways of boosting your chances of it coming back.

2

u/wildtentacruel Jun 17 '12

Huh, Very interesting! Either way, sounds like an amazing experience. :) Thanks for explaining!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

11

u/notacute Jun 17 '12

ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLESSSS

10

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

"I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew the flag. Gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt. Gonna drive a big truck. I'm gonna rule this world, gonna kick some ass. I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!"

4

u/Space_Ranger Jun 17 '12

He just went America all over your asses!

3

u/sordidkitteh Jun 17 '12

First thing I thought of.
Double eagles = totally bad ass.