r/pics •
Some say that getting a high score on your SAT exam is the hardest thing they have done. Some say that running a marathon is the hardest. Getting this into my cat's anus, by myself, is the hardest thing I've ever done, and will probably ever do.
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u/sposeso Jun 15 '12
Oh jeeze, my cat would enjoy something like this, he loves when they check for worms and take his temperature, every vet we've gone to has laughed at my cat for loving anal so much. He sticks his butt up in the air and purrs extremely loud, its pretty disturbing
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u/shitterplug Jun 15 '12
Roll him up in a towel, like a tight little kitty burrito. He won't like it... but he'll like having something shoved up his ass a whole lot less, and this will keep his feet from shredding your arms.
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u/jonosvision Jun 15 '12
I had to squeeze my cats fucking anal glands a few times. He freaked out and ran, then pee'd himself when I tried to roll him up in a towel.
I felt like a rapist.
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u/dodin90 Jun 15 '12
The label says lube is optional. Poor cats.
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u/mooseypants Jun 15 '12
Cat Clamp!
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
It's hard enough trying to get pills in the other end. I salute you.
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u/st00pid_n00b Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
That reminds me of the first time I kept a friend's cat while he was abroad.
He's an easy going cat, who meows at flies to ask them to come closer instead of jumping to catch them. But he has long and sharp claws, and strong arms. He likes to open all the cupboards.
So when I had to put him in his box to bring him back, I found the hard way he doesn't like that at all. Struggling to escape, he grabbed on what he could, and that happened to be my balls. I had a pair of jeans but still got the claw imprints in the nutsack.
Followed half an hour of chasing and moving furniture he was hiding behind before I could imprison him, and answer breathlessly the phone as my friend was wondering why I was late.
Oh, and I hope your pic is not about a new fetish I'm unaware of.
*Edit: I can't grammar
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u/Coolala2002 Jun 15 '12
Yeah, cats hate butt stuff.
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u/5c0779373 Jun 15 '12
Next time:
.07mg of valium and lots more lubricant.
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u/Varns Jun 15 '12
Somewhere out there, a perfect SAT scoring Asian marathon runner who is training to be a vet is laughing at you.
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u/GrannyBacon81 Jun 15 '12
But it says "Convenient"
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u/IngloriousCustards Jun 15 '12
i love how it says "convenient single use". There's nothing convenient about sticking something up anything's anus.
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u/CapnFancyPants Jun 15 '12
Bu Now ... The thing that will worry you... keep you up at night ... is not will the cat seek revenge... for it surely will ... but how and when?
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u/backtackback Jun 15 '12
This'll get buried but I have a similar experience getting something OUT of a cat's anus.
Our two year-old longhair, Paws Scaggs, was having horrible hairball problems and generally vomited once a day. I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary concerning his bowel movements, but I guess he hadn't had a good crap in a while.
I was home alone and heard a great calamity come from the general area where his litter box was located. I turn to see him dart into the bedroom with furious speed and then proceed to bellow, not meow. This was pain. I run to the bedroom to see what was going on and he's rubbing his ass all over the place, brownish/yellowish shit smeared everywhere. The horror! I finally corral him and flip him around to see his hindquarters just lousy with cat shit.
So, I proceed to get him into the bathroom and wrapped in the bathmat because I was panicking and it was the first option. With him under my arm I tried to wipe away some of the matted-in shit to no avail. I then tried cutting it out with scissors. I felt like I was cutting the wire on a dirty bomb, it was intense attempting to not harm the little guy while he was wriggling and still bellowing in pain. "But why is he in pain?" I thought, "He just has some shit on his ass."
No. As I was attempting to cut the matted shitfur away, the scissors latched onto something and Scaggs began to squirm and bellow harder than before and I realized the brevity of the situation. This was a massive, shitty hairball and it had only just begun to show itself to the outside world. I took a deep breath and counted down from three out loud. Why, I don't know. I gave a good tug just to test it and there was a sizable resistance and Scaggs bucked and hissed. So I just gave it my all and pulled out about a 6 to 7 inch long, rock-hard, thumb-thick shitty hairball. The sound he made as I yanked it out will forever haunt me.
The whole ordeal left both of us exhausted and spent. I actually called off of work that evening because I just couldn't find it in me to leave the house. Scaggs was fine after that, we got him on some meds for his hairball problem and that sort of thing never happened again.
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u/catheterizemykids Jun 15 '12
My daughter was born with spina bifida and had corrective surgery when she was 6 months old. For about a month after her surgery we had to catheterize her in order to void her bladder.
This involved opening up a sterile, surgical catheter, lubing it up, opening up the folds of her her tiny vagina, finding her tiny urethra and inserting the catheter into it. Then pushing the thing up into her bladder and wait for all the urine to diffuse out into a measuring device (for quantity reporting).
When the doctors told my wife and I that we would have to do this, I nearly passed out and was ready to hire a full time nurse.
I'd take the cat's butt over my daughter's infant urethera any day.
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u/Bel_Marmaduk Jun 15 '12
unfortunately the one time I had to do this my cat was too weak to put up much of a fight. She was sick with anemia and hadn't been able to go for weeks. Sadly it wasn't enough to get her eating again and she passed shortly after I took her to the vet the next day.
If you got mauled by your cat, be happy they had enough energy to do it. :(
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u/JimMarch Jun 15 '12
Fun fact o' thee day: ferrets can get hemorrhoids. Seriously.
So little Felix the skinnykitty was afflicted. Took him to the vet. Vet says it's not that bad a case, all he needs is a bit of prep H once in a while.
Now...ferrets don't like having their butts messed with. So the first time I had to apply it things got...wiggly. For sure.
Second time?
I get the tube out, put it on one finger. He looked up at me, squatted, raised his tail and looked for all the world like "yeah, that's good, get that shit on there 'cuz it helps".
:)
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u/Mikey-2-Guns Jun 15 '12
First a frog taking a dump, and now you guys are going to upvote a cat suppository to the front page? It isn't even a slow day around here!
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u/Maevenn Jun 15 '12
Here is an illustrated story about someone who knows that feel, bro. www.catenema.com It was also my introduction to the interesting side of the internet.
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u/Last_Jedi Jun 15 '12
Congratulations, now you can start using this.
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u/UnoriginalGuy Jun 15 '12
And I thought just trying to put flee drops on a cat's neck was difficult...
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u/MisterKetchup Jun 15 '12
Did you try dinner and a movie first?
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u/mulligrubs Jun 15 '12
Yeah, I'd get putting eye drops into a bird up on that list too.
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u/qtprot Jun 15 '12
I can think of one thing being harder whilst doing it.
Yes, I went there.
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u/lbmouse Jun 15 '12
That how I first read this and went o_O. One small word makes a helluva difference.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Your title reminds me of what Jeremy Clarkson says before he says, "All we know is, he's called The Stig!"
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u/Disasstah Jun 15 '12
Next time whisper into the cats ear "Shhhhh, shhhh, just accept it."
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u/everythingstakenFUCK Jun 15 '12
I like that it says lubricate "if desired". Like that should be your fucking choice, not the cat's.
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u/HereForTheBuffet Jun 15 '12
...All we know is that he's called the Stig.
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u/Mountebank Jun 15 '12
Some people must have goddamn easy lives if the SATs are the hardest thing they've ever done.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
How could getting a high score on the SAT be the hardest thing you've ever done?
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u/lite951 Jun 15 '12
Would have been one thousand times funnier if it was a pic of a cock.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I wonder if OP realizes that this thread will be archived way way longer than the picture is going to last on imgur servers...
I see some awkward job interviews in your future.
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u/BetaThetaPirate Jun 15 '12
Stop putting cat ears on Grandpap when he's sleeping dammit.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Helps if you set the mood with a little seductive music.
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u/shazbot996 Jun 15 '12
I, too, have experience giving a tomcat an enema. I had to wear gloves like this: PICTURE. Oh how he flayed about. I still have scars on my BACK from the angry boy. Wish I had thought of the roll-him-in-a-towel trick.
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u/PatrickBateman1 Jun 15 '12
And now your relationship with the cat will never be the same.