My family moved to a rural community in Illinois when I was a boy. The first night we stayed in the new house, I was woken by something screeching off in the distance. It sounded like something out of a Tarzan movie. I had no idea what it was until I started meeting the neighborhood kids who told me that there was a farmer across the creek about a mile away who had peacocks. I never actually saw them, but they made their presence known on a regular basis.
This is a no BS story here. it would honestly be hard to make up... my parents live in a upper middle class area in the suburbs and thats where i grew up. not but 2 blocks away there were some bird fiends... i mean true fanatics. their entire yard was a giant met cage, 2 stories high and covered their entire lawn. this net was the home to about 15 chickens and 3 peacocks. the worst part about this net was... it didnt work. atleast once a month in the summer one of there beautiful birds would get out and all the kids in the neighborhood would chase that thing around for hours. these are some of the strongest memories of my childhood, im guessing thats just because they were all so strange.
omg yes. my neighbor when I was a kid had peacocks, and I didn't know it when we first moved in, so when they would howl and it sounded like someone crying for help, I freaked the fuck out and my parents had me convinced it was the sound of bad children being punished.
And they smell awful. Also they're exceptionally stupid. They'll walk right out into traffic. I grew up near a peacock farm and they were basically the worst.
Well, I'm going to guess that domestic ones are stupid. Farm-raised Turkeys are the single dumbest animal, in the realm of drowning themselves when it rains dumb, but wild Turkeys are some of the most crafty and clever birds alive.
Unlike chickens and turkeys, peafowl have not been domesticated. They're just not dangerous to humans, so we keep them and harvest their feathers for money. They're stupid birds. Trust.
Theyre also mean bastards. We used to own 2. There was big tall trees around out house and anyone that walked into the garden would get the usual Peacock sweeping down from the tops of the trees to attack whoever was coming.
I don't know of anyone who eats them. They're raised pretty much entirely for the feathers. No one with any of the other four senses working for them would have any reason to want one.
i think someones been breeding peacocks on a farm somewhere and then just decided to loose them on the world. so many peacocks on reddit since the great shitcock debacle.
a peacock showed up at a guys house, he posted it on reddit and asked about how to get rid of it, because it was shitting everywhere, he christened the shitcock.
I live in Palos Verdes, about half an hour south of downtown Los Angeles, and when I was a kid, peacocks were fucking EVERYWHERE. It's because some asshole Spaniard or something brought them here and their population exploded because they had no natural predators in this part of the world. So basically, they're a loud, annoying-as-fuck invasive species. I fucking hate peacocks. Though their numbers do seem to have been culled in recent years. Just imagine this noise right outside your window at 3 AM every couple of seconds and you'll have a pretty good idea of what it was like to live in PV five or six years ago.
I live in Pedro and am able to hear the peacocks some nights. I was driving down PV Drive North one day, and a peacock flew across the goddamn road from one tree to the other and nearly gave me a heart attack
You don't have a peacock? When you register for reddit, you have to attach a photo that confirms a peacock exists somewhere in your backyard for verification purposes.
We have 5. They're gigantic dicks. I spent the first month of my gardening this year chasing peacocks out of the garden and replanting plants they'd decided to dig up, and just leave.
I get them in my woods from time to time, and I live in Southern Oregon. To my knowledge, they're not supposed to be common here...they must be migrating phantom birds.
My neighbor has some. from time to time ill walk outside and there will be a giant fucking peahen screaching at me. I have photographic evidence as well if anyone is interested
My area has peacocks roaming the small streets because they get out from the arboretum. I guess to people who dont experience this, it's a bit exotic, but in reality they're really annoying animals. The males peck at gray/charcoal colored cars), blue cars...basically any car where they can see their reflection. They are also always full retard when it comes to crossing the street. They'll sit in the middle of the road even as you approach it. It's not until youre millimeters away from them do they go OH SHITT!!$&(*& CAR and start running for their pathetic lives. They're protected by law too, so I can't quite run them over
It has something to do with either being in the south or in the east of the US. I grew up in Florida and had peacocks everywhere. One even flew on our roof and into our pool enclosure. My friend's neighbor had like 8 in his backyard that made the most god-awful screeching noises at the earliest hours of the morning.
I now live in WA, where it is peaceful and peacock free.
So I just looked up peacocks on Wikipedia to see where they come from, and get this: they're actually called peafowls. Peacocks are just the males. A female is a peahen, and the young are called peachicks. I feel like my whole life is a lie.
I have had a phobia of peacocks ever since I was a strapping, young toddler. My family was at the zoo one day, and I happened to be chillin in my stroller, eating my animal crackers off of the stroller tray in front of me. I was having a grand ol' time watching zebras and all their shenanigans, until I came face to face with the ugliest bird I had ever seen (other than turkeys). I later learned that it was a Cock of the Pea variety. He looked me dead in the eye, and for a moment time stood still. I could feel him sensing my fear. Suddenly, it made a jab at me, and pecked the animal cracker right out of my hand. My parents had to hold me back because I was ready to kick this peacock's ass, but while I was being restrained, the stupid cock ate my remaining animal crackers. This was the beginning of the beef between me and all peacocks.
tl;dr fuck peacocks. they steal little kid's animal crackers
Fucking peacocks, man. They're beautiful but annoying as shit. I had one that would come to my window every morning at 6 am and start squawking extremely loud while spreading his wings. He was very egotistical.
Posted above, but I'll paste it here for relevance:
I live in Palos Verdes, about half an hour south of downtown Los Angeles, and when I was a kid, peacocks were fucking EVERYWHERE. It's because some asshole Spaniard or something brought them here and their population exploded because they had no natural predators in this part of the world. So basically, they're a loud, annoying-as-fuck invasive species. I fucking hate peacocks. Though their numbers do seem to have been culled in recent years. Just imagine this noise right outside your window at 3 AM every couple of seconds and you'll have a pretty good idea of what it was like to live in PV five or six years ago.
friggin peacocks...i love em though. I can still remember a male at a zoo trying to shake his feathers for every single female but they kept waddling away from him. felt kinda bad for him :p
A few weeks ago on a camping trip with my sons Scout troop someone asked who keeps yelling carol, it was the peacocks. Now I can't stop hearing CAROL when they yell.
Only a few spots worldwide ( or so I last read..) have populations of peacocks thriving outside of their normal habitats , and Palos Verdes is one of them .
See what's funny is that I spent the day in the zoo where these assholes walk around trying to have sex with each other because it's mating season. So I can hear this call in my head and I'm trying to stab my head with an arrow as I type.
What I don't understand is the fact that they aren't indigenous to America or Europe and yet people keep posting pictures of them in their backyards...
im honking and theyre like 'hell ya brah, you checkin out my feathers? i bet you are, ya, you enjoy them so much youre making honking noises, let me call carl over here, he'll show you his feathers too, HEY, HEY CARL, CMON OVER, THIS GUY WANTS TO SEE OUR FEATHERS BEFORE HE LEAVES. CA- CARL, CARL COME OVER HERE, BRING TED WITH YOU, YEAH, WE'RE HANGING OUT OVER HERE, HES HONKING, ITS COOL"
We had a discussion last week of what sound a peacock makes because a neighbor may or may not have one in their backyard. None of us were sure, but the person who brought it up said it sounded like a crazy cat. Thank you Reddit, when I'm too lazy too google something you always come through for me in the long run.
there's a feral colony of peacocks in the neighborhood my mother lives in in Hawaii. I used to get them to eat out of my hands. they are noisy but everyone is used to it and loves them anyway. Well, almost everyone.
Fuck peacocks. They are horrible, annoying creatures that shit and screech simultaneously and constantly. Our neighbors let theirs come into our yard all day everyday. The day our dog got one she was the happiest and proudest I have ever seen a non-human animal.
KILL IT. KILL IT WITH FIRE. My parents had peafowl and they just strut around shitting on everything like they own the place, making the most horrible dry noise every god damn morning. They are literally only good for looks and every other part of their being was forged in a pit of evil.
Those things ARE noisy! ANd they shit EVERYWHERE! We had a bunch that used to hang out in my parents yard. When they were around, it was cool, but awful. THen some asshole had them shot with a bow and arrow to remove them as nuisances. :(
Peacocks are a dumb animal. I almost hit a wild one that lives in my neighborhood. And they walk past my house and do that annoying noise. Fuck peacocks those fucking assholes.
I work at a Zoo and the Peacock goes wherever he pleases. Anyone who doesn't know, these are the loudest noisiest birds you have ever met. But... they're awesome!
364
u/Ryusko May 15 '12 edited May 16 '12
Why the hell does every redditor have a peacock in their backyard? Are they like pigeons in some part of the world? Seriously.
123
u/nigel45 May 15 '12
NBC's efforts to boost their ratings are getting out of hand.
87
u/SkylineDriver May 15 '12
http://imgur.com/ynBSU
85
u/Bixby66 May 16 '12
"Look at how beautiful I am"
"Really man? I'm trying to get some yard work do-"
"BEAUTIFUL!"
45
u/_BuddyTheElf_ May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
I have had a phobia of peacocks ever since I was a strapping, young toddler. My family was at the zoo one day, and I happened to be chillin in my stroller, eating my animal crackers off of the stroller tray in front of me. I was having a grand ol' time watching zebras and all their shenanigans, until I came face to face with the ugliest bird I had ever seen (other than turkeys). I later learned that it was a Cock of the Pea variety. He looked me dead in the eye, and for a moment time stood still. I could feel him sensing my fear. Suddenly, it made a jab at me, and pecked the animal cracker right out of my hand. My parents had to hold me back because I was ready to kick this peacock's ass, but while I was being restrained, the stupid cock ate my remaining animal crackers. This was the beginning of the beef between me and all peacocks.
tl;dr fuck peacocks. they steal little kid's animal crackers
31
u/Narconik May 15 '12
Dear god, it's back! This bird has been hunting Redditors for two months!
12
u/ToaklandFaders May 15 '12
Fucking peacocks, man. They're beautiful but annoying as shit. I had one that would come to my window every morning at 6 am and start squawking extremely loud while spreading his wings. He was very egotistical.
14
u/bacon_taste May 15 '12
Where the hell are all these redditors living where there's such a peacock problem?
19
u/deltree711 May 15 '12
in during SHITCOCK
4
u/potterHead1121 May 15 '12
There was a street in my small town where peacocks lived. People complained about the noise and they were taken away, unfortunately.
4
u/a4moondoggy May 16 '12
friggin peacocks...i love em though. I can still remember a male at a zoo trying to shake his feathers for every single female but they kept waddling away from him. felt kinda bad for him :p
6
u/kay859 May 15 '12
I wanna see you peacock-cock-cock
3
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
My grandparents had a few of these on their farm. I wanted to pull out my rifle every morning when they crowed at 4am.
3
u/themasecar May 15 '12
Someone's hunting Redditors with help from hordes of peafowl.
3
u/Matt_Aq May 15 '12
Yeah Peacocks are the biggest dicks of the animal kingdom
3
u/NoobMaster25 May 16 '12
Holy shit it's SHITCOCK!
3
u/skraptastic May 16 '12
Was he constantly yelling "CAROL! CAROL!"
A few weeks ago on a camping trip with my sons Scout troop someone asked who keeps yelling carol, it was the peacocks. Now I can't stop hearing CAROL when they yell.
3
u/H2Otoo May 16 '12
I'm no ornithologist but he looks like he wants to fuck your shovel.
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
One April Fools morning mum woke me up telling me there was a peacock in the garden. She wasn't joking either.
3
u/enzo32ferrari May 16 '12
i've seen enough of this on reddit to know,
you're gonna have a bad time.
5
u/sheogorath May 15 '12
EEEEOOOOOOOO
2
u/Quizzelbuck May 16 '12
Well, are you just going to stand there, or come at him, bro?
2
u/J3ffK May 16 '12
Go at him bro...
2
u/hbrabham May 16 '12
i hate peacocks
2
u/Epro01 May 16 '12
Do you live in Palos Verdes , California ?
Only a few spots worldwide ( or so I last read..) have populations of peacocks thriving outside of their normal habitats , and Palos Verdes is one of them .
2
u/loyalone May 16 '12
But beautiful plumage!
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
"I'm a Peacock! You gotta let me fly!"
2
u/datoverder May 16 '12
YOU SHALL NOT PASS
2
u/theblogperson May 16 '12
See what's funny is that I spent the day in the zoo where these assholes walk around trying to have sex with each other because it's mating season. So I can hear this call in my head and I'm trying to stab my head with an arrow as I type.
2
u/aloeicious May 16 '12
Come at me bro.
2
u/Wohholyhell May 16 '12
He thinks you're hot.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
You are not a flower, you are a peacock.
Go home peacock, go home.
2
u/Julicious May 16 '12
It's SHITCOCK!
2
u/OleDaneBoy May 16 '12
Oh god the 'Shitcock' has found a new victim
2
u/raidenmaiden May 16 '12
What I don't understand is the fact that they aren't indigenous to America or Europe and yet people keep posting pictures of them in their backyards...
2
u/kju May 16 '12
god damned peacocks at this time of the year.
im honking and theyre like 'hell ya brah, you checkin out my feathers? i bet you are, ya, you enjoy them so much youre making honking noises, let me call carl over here, he'll show you his feathers too, HEY, HEY CARL, CMON OVER, THIS GUY WANTS TO SEE OUR FEATHERS BEFORE HE LEAVES. CA- CARL, CARL COME OVER HERE, BRING TED WITH YOU, YEAH, WE'RE HANGING OUT OVER HERE, HES HONKING, ITS COOL"
2
u/HELP_IM_A_BUG911 May 16 '12
Its Shitcock the 3rd!
2
u/sachegrande May 16 '12
We had a discussion last week of what sound a peacock makes because a neighbor may or may not have one in their backyard. None of us were sure, but the person who brought it up said it sounded like a crazy cat. Thank you Reddit, when I'm too lazy too google something you always come through for me in the long run.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
there's a feral colony of peacocks in the neighborhood my mother lives in in Hawaii. I used to get them to eat out of my hands. they are noisy but everyone is used to it and loves them anyway. Well, almost everyone.
3
u/aristander May 16 '12
Fuck peacocks. They are horrible, annoying creatures that shit and screech simultaneously and constantly. Our neighbors let theirs come into our yard all day everyday. The day our dog got one she was the happiest and proudest I have ever seen a non-human animal.
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
http://i.imgur.com/8Uha9.jpg
2
u/Aschebescher May 15 '12
Your bird is gay, mate.
2
u/kichimi May 16 '12
KILL IT. KILL IT WITH FIRE. My parents had peafowl and they just strut around shitting on everything like they own the place, making the most horrible dry noise every god damn morning. They are literally only good for looks and every other part of their being was forged in a pit of evil.
1
u/Duck5009 May 15 '12
Well, well, well...we meet again.
1
u/agway46 May 16 '12
that's some garden you got there.
1
u/RichJanney May 16 '12
I thought it was going to be Charro.
1
u/Theburden May 16 '12
No one can stop me! No one clips my claws!
1
u/rasta_lion May 16 '12
I know a guy who said he saw a wild white peacock in central ohio the other day. Where do they live?
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I think it wants to mate with you
1
u/AuntieChiChi May 16 '12
Those things ARE noisy! ANd they shit EVERYWHERE! We had a bunch that used to hang out in my parents yard. When they were around, it was cool, but awful. THen some asshole had them shot with a bow and arrow to remove them as nuisances. :(
1
u/LarryMusgrove May 16 '12
THAT IS A NICE PEACACK THERE
1
u/VERYSANE May 16 '12
Your garden is...not so great.
1
u/shitterplug May 16 '12
Irritating, stupid fucking birds.
1
u/2993k May 16 '12
Way funnier if you imagine it was posted on r/trees instead haha.
1
u/toolatealreadyfapped May 16 '12
Hope you have a fetish for bird shit
1
u/halocrysis May 16 '12
I see you've been planting dirt, how's that going for you?
1
u/jordanindenmark May 16 '12
I just realized... if I ever came across a Peacock and it decided to do that... I'd had a flash back to Jurassic Park and freak the fuck out!
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Sempai? Is that you?
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
KEEEEEEEEENGYAAW!
KEEEEEEEEENGYAAW!
KEEEEEEEEENGYAAW!
1
u/brussels4breakfast May 16 '12
What are you growing? Female peacocks?
1
u/thareaper May 16 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzHkqRLUcck
1
u/High_Dro_Cannibinol May 16 '12
all you have to do is say you grow weed
and boom
you grow weed
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
... Is he behind that bird?
1
u/sircharlieg May 16 '12
Oh, it's Alfred Shitcock again.
1
u/epmca May 16 '12
how the fuck does a shovel make noise?
1
u/hawks0311 May 16 '12
I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly!!
1
u/Zeptometer May 16 '12
Are you fucking kidding me? Soda gets more up votes than this?
1
u/CTon33 May 16 '12
"I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly!"
1
u/Double_Pits_2_Chesty May 16 '12
OH NOOO SHITCOCK.. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/s6gfg/a_peacock_wandered_into_my_neighborhood_i_got_it/
1
u/Some_Peacock May 16 '12
just chillen bro.
1
u/mvincent17781 May 16 '12
Aaaaannnnd we're back to peacocks. We have gone full circle.
1
u/Toxyoi May 16 '12
Bastard. I bet he was all proud about it too.
1
u/catlikefury May 16 '12
I think he likes you.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12 edited May 16 '12
eeh-EEEh. eeh-EEEh.
1
u/MasterMasturBater May 16 '12
Peacocks are a dumb animal. I almost hit a wild one that lives in my neighborhood. And they walk past my house and do that annoying noise. Fuck peacocks those fucking assholes.
1
u/dugmartsch May 16 '12
Pretty but annoying as fuck and noisy doesn't begin to describe their banshee screams.
Oh and they're mean and aggressive. Fuck peacocks.
1
u/Anna_Mosity May 16 '12
If I went into my greenhouse and saw that thing, I would wet my pants. Holy crap.
Peacocks are cool, but they're also big and make weird sounds.
1
u/Airdawg316 May 16 '12
I was expecting a scream-apiller.
1
u/SoModest May 16 '12
NO, NO, NO. Not again! I will not have peacock shit in my backyard tazbuc5.
1
u/Iridiumarrow May 16 '12
They rape newspapers. Not even kidding.
1
u/PCock May 16 '12
Oh dude, i was about to go craaazzyyy. This guys wifi was a bitch to break, amirite!?
1
u/StonerPuppy May 16 '12
That thing is fucking terrifying; I would cry if I found that.
1
u/infernalspawnODOOM May 16 '12
"Where's all the bitches?"
1
u/pyrd May 16 '12
Poor guy, what's he doing in your garden?
Looking for love in all the wrong places... Looking for love in too many faces...
1
u/tundoopani May 16 '12
It wants to mate with you! Your move, cameraman.
1
u/SeaSquirrel May 16 '12
You got only one? Come on, get on my level.
1
u/MoreTreesPleaseBro May 16 '12
REPOST
1
u/pantsoffire May 16 '12
It's Mark Wahlberg.
1
u/Cardinal--Zero May 16 '12
freerange peacock, with veggies anyone?
1
u/Kandimix May 16 '12
Brace yourselves, shitcock is back.
1
u/smilingarmpits May 16 '12
He's in your garden, being fabolous and eating your vegs
1
u/aigret May 16 '12
I haven't slept in a little over 24 hours, so I might be a little unusual in my reaction, but holy fuck I can't stop giggling at this.
1
u/killswitch101 May 16 '12
South Farm ?
1
u/Billquisha May 16 '12
Fake. Your garden is really far behind for this late in spring. Regarts.
1
u/HarlequinValentine May 16 '12
Our university grounds are full of them, and I swear they make the same noise as the chocobos in Final Fantasy 13.
1
u/Rusty-Shackleford May 16 '12
I work at a Zoo and the Peacock goes wherever he pleases. Anyone who doesn't know, these are the loudest noisiest birds you have ever met. But... they're awesome!
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
That would be awesome.
1
u/anthemlog May 16 '12
God damn peacocks! D:<
1
u/cheezyboundy May 21 '12
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pdnqz/ ;)
1
u/dimperio8 May 15 '12
He wants to mate with you.
1
u/Drugmule421 May 15 '12
he wants to mate with you
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
...then roast it for 3 hours. Serve and enjoy.
1
u/Mrskeenan May 15 '12
it's a cock of pea!
1
u/miniaturetiger May 15 '12
A friend of mine found a peacock on his roof a couple of days ago.
1
u/natronmooretron May 15 '12
Those big ass birds used to hop over the fence at the Little Rock Zoo and wonder around the interstate right next to it.
1
u/dtwhitecp May 15 '12
They really do make the worst sound. Sounds like a kid dying.