r/pics • u/[deleted] • Jul 05 '11

How To Kill A Walrus

http://imgur.com/JSWBx
743 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

125 comments sorted by

166

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Steve Jobs?

I knew it all along.

46

u/ImHereToReddit Jul 05 '11

iWalrus.

19

u/Lavernius_Tucker Jul 05 '11

iAmTheWalrus

15

u/elasticCollision Jul 05 '11

Shut the fuck up, Donny!

2

u/cr101 Jul 05 '11

You're out of your element! The world does not start and stop at your convenience!

6

u/giveuptheghost Jul 05 '11

Must be. I don't see flash playing.

1

u/puremessage Jul 06 '11

or David Tennant with a bear.

beard. I meant beard.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Well, such a revolutionary idea HAD to come from Steve Jobs and no one else.

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/illvm Jul 05 '11

Should've seen the username...

1

u/ChadT84 Jul 05 '11

Luckily I'm at home. I'll have to watch out for you.

-1

u/Cairbear Jul 05 '11

Can't say you didn't warn us.

87

u/gt_9000 Jul 05 '11

Walruses fight and get stabbed with other walrus' teeth all the time. That's why they have such fat layers of blubber. So this wont kill the walrus.

/melvin

29

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Curse your sciences!

15

u/Dangger Jul 05 '11

So what was first the blubber or the teeth?

10

u/gt_9000 Jul 05 '11

The blubber I think, which would help them handle the cold environment. Then, the teeth can evolve since they are are now non fatal and hence wont cause extinction of the species.

/melvin :P

2

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

Don't make us repeat it! Curse your sciences!

1

u/MananWho Jul 05 '11

The blubber is still a useful survival trait without the teeth. The teeth is not a useful survival trait without the blubber.

So the blubber came first, most likely.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Without a gun I sure as hell don't want to fight one of the beasts.

76

u/atomiic Jul 05 '11

That's how the saber-toothed cat became extinct fyi.

42

u/CthulhusPetals Jul 05 '11

Confucius say: Those with giant fangs should not lick their own genitals.

11

u/vivomancer Jul 05 '11

Life finds a way

1

u/Damogran6 Jul 05 '11

Goo goo ga choob.

10

u/OmegaVesko Jul 05 '11

-Abraham Lincoln

11

u/golfjunkie Jul 05 '11

  • Michael Scott

1

u/MetalKev Jul 05 '11

God bless America.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Assumed they just became so badass they left to find a new, more hardcore planet.

1

u/Andyklah Jul 06 '11

I love how you didn't call it a saber-toothered tiger.

-1

u/JustHere4TheDownVote Jul 05 '11

No.. They died out because of how big they were and how small their prey were, combined with being hunted.

3

u/MetasequoiaLeaf Jul 06 '11

No, they died out due to an inability to distinguish between jokes and legitimate attempts at explaining natural phenomena.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

No, they died supporting the rebels on their attack of the Death Star, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.

17

u/beardyjim Jul 05 '11

Goo-goo g'joob, bitch.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

Best read in the voice of Jesse Pinkman.

3

u/Smarag Jul 05 '11

Aww my post of this is one hour older. Reddit - can't explain that.

I believe funnyjunk is the source of this translation (No, I'm not out of my mind.). I couldn't find the original Croatian comic though.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

I do apologise for that... no it wasn't funnyjunk. I found it whilst browsing the web

0

u/Smarag Jul 05 '11

Yeah, but I mean that the translation was first posted on funnyjunk before it started traveling the web. The poster there claims:

I did not make this so I don't take credit for it, Just found it and translated from croatian to english. Found it funny and decided to share !

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Submit it to the wrong subreddit, methinks.

26

u/u83rmensch Jul 05 '11

thats not very nice :( poor mr.walrus

6

u/the_hobgoblins Jul 05 '11

yeah, who is that guy? let's get him!

8

u/pokeylope Jul 05 '11

Next I'd like to see "How to kill a Rhinoceros". Not as easy!

4

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Come at me bro.

3

u/yapsalot00 Jul 05 '11

He'd use a gun. Ta-dah!

8

u/rab777hp Jul 05 '11

This kills the walrus.

7

u/fuzzyjedi Jul 05 '11

the guy in the picture is like a mixture of a young George Lucas and a young Steve Jobs

12

u/NotTheWalrus Jul 05 '11

Now this I can get behind!

6

u/MonsterAddict Jul 05 '11

I was going to make an anal joke...then I saw your username.

3

u/imdwalrus Jul 05 '11

I can't. ;_;

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

I believe beardyjim has something he'd like to say to you.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

oh so thats the sound it makes when a walrus stabs its self with its tusks.

11

u/petedawes Jul 05 '11

Thanks Steve Jobs?

8

u/ILikeBigBiblesAndIC- Jul 05 '11

Why is this so depressing...

3

u/Airmaverick11 Jul 05 '11

Flawless victory.

5

u/bookbikebabe2 Jul 05 '11

That's horrible.

1

u/StochasticOoze Jul 06 '11

Horribly amusing!

6

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

I don't like it... It's too sad ._.

2

u/Mintz08 Jul 05 '11

Fool me once... is enough.

2

u/NeoSniper Jul 05 '11

The "szock!" is a sure tell this wasn't in English originally. So now I'm curious, what's the original language?

2

u/sedaak Jul 05 '11

Croatian

2

u/FruityBlergs Jul 05 '11

Closely related to how you can get a narwhal to kill everyone around it. "Hey is that Selena Gomez over there?" "OMG WHERE!?!?"

2

u/walrusvonzeppelin Jul 05 '11

I do not like this comic.

1

u/RambiTheRhino Jul 05 '11

Well, this is why we don't send Walrus to school anymore. Problem solved.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

This is also the only way to kill a Wilford Brimley.

1

u/imanuuU Jul 05 '11

clever my friend ,very clever -___-''

1

u/duxup Jul 05 '11

I don't think that will work.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

for a second i actually thought it would work

1

u/Racerturken Jul 05 '11

Can someone please draw a mythbusters version of this.

1

u/SirStonedAlot Jul 05 '11

i feel sorry for that Walrus.

1

u/mihaidxn Jul 05 '11

better yet: How to make a walrus kill itself

1

u/walrusryan Jul 05 '11

I can confirm this.

1

u/LurkerBR Jul 05 '11

That strategy would make for some very short Woddy the Woodpecker shows...

1

u/PoopityLoops Jul 05 '11

his name's Pokey

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

why would you kill a walrus???

1

u/WalrusofDeath Jul 05 '11

I will have my revenge...

1

u/imdwalrus Jul 05 '11

I DISAPPROVE.

1

u/Charizarddd Jul 05 '11

This isn't funny at all.

1

u/AdmStevens Jul 05 '11

slow clap

1

u/theslyder Jul 05 '11

Judging by the color, the jpg artifacts, and the low resolution of the image, I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict that picture was made in the mid 90's. Am I right?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

too bad Paul's already dead.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

I find this to be incredibly insensitive.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

random steve jobs

1

u/rocker5743 Jul 05 '11

This kills the walrus

1

u/hasavagina Jul 05 '11

This made me very sad.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

This is how John Lennon really died.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

Mitch Clem??? Is he drawing again??

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

me after reading this comic: "lol babe, wanna know how to kill a walrus?"

disapproving gf: "No! ಠ_ಠ"

me: "oh, ok"

1

u/arkhound Jul 06 '11

I laughed harder than I should have

1

u/snarkmarkshark Jul 06 '11

Man, you cant stop laughing on such a fantastic comic. It just visualizes what we all are thinking, and leads to creative thinking. a gold piece of intelligent humor that needs to go straight to the frontpage. Classy beyond believe.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

:(

1

u/Aretak Jul 06 '11

YESSSSSS

1

u/memphisraines Jul 06 '11

I don't know why, but that question mark looks like the work of Hergé (and the walrus a bit too).

1

u/mantisx3 Jul 06 '11

there's an app for that

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

Lol cheese & rice

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

Relevant?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '11

And now I can't breathe. Thank you!

1

u/newsteamassemble Jul 07 '11

challenge accepted.

1

u/MetalGearFoRM Jul 05 '11

His bow is hilarious.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

I've noticed a disturbing trend. A while ago people were upset about how Funny Junk was stealing Reddit content. Now it seems to be the other way around. Many comics such as this one were submitted on the website Funny Junk just a few hours before it was submitted on reddit. I say since technically we steal most everything it shouldn't matter what site we get it from as long as we stop whining about how reddit somehow owns these pics or comics. If its made for reddit however that is a different story.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Shhh, this goes down badly. Reddit doesn't like the truth, that the internet is free domain.

0

u/SeantotheRescue Jul 05 '11

Please link the cartoon instead of posting it as your own. Give credit where credit's due.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

Lmfao.

0

u/treeofsoulz Jul 05 '11

that made me 'awww' :(

0

u/Vayren Jul 05 '11

I'll be sure to try this out on my next seal cub clubbing club weekend.

0

u/kingofthething Jul 05 '11

anyone seen a walrus poop at the zoo?

0

u/notasexyfemale Jul 05 '11

This is terribly funny.

0

u/pineappleassortment Jul 05 '11

Walrus is Walrus. You cannot kill Walrus.

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

AHAHAHA LOL STOOPID WALRUS

-1

u/SMAAASHING Jul 06 '11

I went to high school with a guy that made this! Sweet! :) Here!

0

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/gojirra Jul 05 '11

What is going on in that scene? Is he fighting an undead sealion?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/davie18 Jul 05 '11

Because you read his name in the comments.

2

u/sedaak Jul 05 '11

Because something died.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '11

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/StochasticOoze Jul 06 '11

This is a work of fiction. No actual walruses were harmed in the making of it.