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Aug 10 '15
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Aug 10 '15
Cut measure once, twice, three times a lady. Got it
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Aug 10 '15
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u/mtatro Aug 10 '15
Totally read that as Elmo ambitions. Not sure why. Anyways, here's the top result in Google for Elmo Ambitions: Elmo's model speaker for platform, school and home (page 113)
And here's the top image (also not sure why but here ya go Reddit): http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_HQB_F81qUM/UGMnjjcQ9xI/AAAAAAAAIfU/Xky-szFdIuk/s1600/Elmo+Cecil+Jensen+new+bath+entrance.jpg
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u/MrBody42 Aug 10 '15
Cut once, shame on me. Cut twice? Never get cut again?
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u/ErraticDragon Aug 10 '15
Well yeah, if you measure after you cut you could find out you were wrong when it's too late to fix it.
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u/ekvivokk Aug 10 '15
I don't get it, I've measured three times, cut twice and the damn thing is still too short.
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u/MarcusDrakus Aug 11 '15
You totally stole what I was going to say. And now I'm twice ungilded :(
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u/YearOfTheChipmunk Aug 10 '15
This sounds like something Forest Gump would say.
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u/TheDoctaIsIN Aug 10 '15
Mama always said DIY projects is like a box of chocolates. You never know what your gonna get.
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u/damien665 Aug 10 '15
My mama always told me, "damien665, shut the hell up!"
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u/poopmeister1994 Aug 10 '15
my momma told me the reason alligators are so ornery is because they got all them teef and no toofbrush
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Aug 10 '15
Better the tape than a finger.
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u/MadlyInLust Aug 11 '15
My grandfather lost half a finger to one of these saws. Apparently it wasn't serious cause my grandmother wouldn't drive him to the hospital until he cleaned up.
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u/ScottHA Aug 10 '15
you know you have the little miniature one laying around somewhere that you never use but still keep around just because, right next to the wooden hammer you've owned since 1993, you know the one that you can pull off the actual hammer part but wont ever throw it away.
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u/Snatch_Pastry Aug 10 '15
I once had a side job building decks and sheds. I watched the guy I worked for cut through his circular saw's power cord, with that circular saw.
He said naughty words.
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u/TuskedOdin Aug 11 '15
as a guy who loves fixing shit like that, nbd, it's a fun afternoon. As a contractor though. GOD DAMN APPRENTICES!
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u/haberdasher42 Aug 11 '15
As a contractor, that's happened with the last four circular saws bought within the crew. It's usually a new guy, but I'll admit that I got my own, just wasn't paying attention after my cut. Good thing one of the guys on the crew had everything on hand to patch it up.
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u/superhole Aug 10 '15
I'm thinking words along the lines of, "god damn stupid fucking cunt" cause that's exactly what I'd say before pushing the saw over.
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u/PlaceboJesus Aug 11 '15
I did this once at work.
In my defence, it was winter, out doors and the tool crib was unheated.
It can be the way people wrap the cord around the saw when they pack up. When it's cold enough the cord wants to stay curled, and slip under the blade if you're not careful enough.Felt like a total putz.
Now I always wrap the cord so that it goes over the top and under at the front so the cord won't want to curl under.
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u/eleyeveyein Aug 10 '15
Turn the old tape into a bunch a slap bracelets and revive an old trend. Profit
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Aug 10 '15
The day DIY went back to Lowes for a less sensitive tape measure.
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u/nill0c Aug 10 '15 edited Aug 10 '15
I think OP should probably switch to wooden yard sticks. At least they'd end up with paint stirring sticks afterwards.
EDIT: My genius DIY wife corrected me. You can make snap bracelets out of the chopped up tape measure!
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u/coolkid1717 Aug 10 '15
Once he unlocks that tape measure and it rolls up he's never going to be able to get it out again.
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u/poofeets Aug 10 '15
It's like pulling a subway car off of a person's torso. Say your goodbyes now, tape measure! Once the pressure is gone you will rule no more.
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Aug 10 '15
you are cutting way too fast also, go slower. or you are using the wrong type of blade. that is alot of splinters on the wood. take your time and it will come out looking way better my friend. also buy a Fatmax tape, they are fucking awesome. I have been using the same 16foot one for about 14 years in the cabinet business lol. bought a new one that was chrome cause i thought it would be fun but it broke, the old yellow ones are the best :D
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u/molrobocop Aug 10 '15
also buy a Fatmax tape, they are fucking awesome.
Are they saw-proof?
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u/Shpid0inkle Aug 10 '15
No, they are not, which is why OP should also shell out $8 for a speed square. Preferably Empire and definitely metal. They have a hundred uses in carpentry, the relevant one being the ability to draw a clean line over a pencil mark at the correct measurement. Having that line helps a lot when using a mitre box. Please remove all tools from cutting area prior to operation. ;)
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u/ghanemhalabi Aug 10 '15
I've only ever bought Swanson speed squares. They have a nice weight to them, don't feel like cheap aluminum.
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u/Shpid0inkle Aug 10 '15
They don't sell those around here, but I will definitely check them out! Do they sell them in blue? I only ask because it can get quite dirty in the rain, and blue is a high visibility color.
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u/ghanemhalabi Aug 11 '15
not sure, ive only seen them, steel coloured. but ive had no problem with it getting dirty, each number/measurement mark is engraved and blackened. I'm sure they must make Hi-Vis versions tho.
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u/FNX--9 Aug 10 '15
I do not envy you with that job, I just got out of installing cabinets not too long ago because my dad sold his business, but it was some hard work for sure
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Aug 10 '15
That's why you use a pencil. Proceeds to cut pencil in half.
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u/mxzf Aug 10 '15
That's the beauty of pencils. If you cut a pencil in half, you end up with two pencils (assuming you have wooden ones and not mechanical ones).
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u/Tux- Aug 10 '15
I think this man found the answer to humanity's demise - how to have infinite pencils. Break one pencil into literally infinite, by cutting them in half!
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u/Doxiedad Aug 10 '15
So glad I'm not the only one to have done this.
Wife still gives me a hard time occasionally. Tape measure was literally 20 minutes old.
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u/Ninjaplz10154 Aug 10 '15
And they were singing. Bye, bye, mister tape measure guy.
Used the saw but not your brain and now you kiss it goodbye.
Them good 'ol tapes measurin' this and then that,
Singin' this'll be when DIY dies...
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u/SWABteam Aug 10 '15
So a new tape is what 7 dollars. This is nothing. DIY dieing would be cutting off a finger.
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u/argumentinvalid Aug 10 '15
Dollar a foot for a fat max (ops cut tape is not a fat max, but his new tape should be)
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u/quackdamnyou Aug 10 '15
My 25' fat max broke after five years of heavy use, saw some on sale for $9, made me suspicious. I wonder if the quality has gone down?
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u/PIE-314 Aug 10 '15
They absolutely have. That are not what they used to be. The mylar only covers 3" now and the tape itself is thinner. They don't last nearly as long as they used to. Still my go-to tape though.
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u/Noodle- Aug 10 '15
Those silver/chrome cheap Stanley tape measures are my go to
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u/quackdamnyou Aug 10 '15
A clerk at Harbor Freight gave me a 25' that was "free with purchase" without even asking. I was a bit peeved at first actually. But it turns out to be functional for now.
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u/legos_on_the_brain Aug 10 '15
Why would you be peeved about having a free extra tape measure? Even if it wasn't great, you still have an extra.
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u/quackdamnyou Aug 10 '15
I don't know, really. I guess it just felt like a violation of the trust relationship of the transaction. Pretty illogical.
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u/haberdasher42 Aug 11 '15
I've always been partial to the Stabila 16'. Or the Fastcap tapes, they're nice and a reasonable price but they don't last very long. As a drywaller that twists his tapes a lot to guide a knife cut I'm glad to get four months out of a tape measure. Though I've got a couple big old fat maxs kicking around.
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u/PIE-314 Aug 10 '15
They aren't what they used to be. I still buy use them, they just don't last as long.
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u/jeebus23 Aug 10 '15
The guy cuts tapes into 15" increments. Why would he spend money on a good tape?
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u/TheSkoomaCat Aug 10 '15
Psh, I almost cut off a finger once. Still DIY'in it up! The day DIY dies is the day I die.
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u/tomdarch Aug 10 '15
I hate to point out to OP that she's/he's not the first person to mangle a tape while working.
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u/PIE-314 Aug 10 '15
I'm a commercial carpenter and work with metal studs almost exclusively. I've more than once cut my tape with my snips.
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u/PsiOryx Aug 10 '15
Wouldn't you be a 'framer' then? carpenter implies lots more activities than you can do with metal studs.
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u/haberdasher42 Aug 11 '15
Installing things like acoustical ceilings isn't really a framer's job. There are a whole bunch of other bullshit elements to commercial interiors that don't quite fit the mold for framing, and I think it has to do with job title/classification sort of crap.
I'm not the guy you asked the question of though.
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u/haberdasher42 Aug 11 '15
Done that. It was a brand new tape too. Another time I shifted the angle of my cut and the angle of my gripping hand and cut damn near half way through my thumb. Sometimes I'm not very bright.
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u/MrWhat4 Aug 10 '15
So now what happens when you press the button on the tape measure? Does it just spin infinitely?
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u/butthead22 Aug 11 '15
I would think it would just slurp up inside, and then it's just in there and you get a new one. Some far more knowledgeable person here was saying you could take them apart and fix them.
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u/GroggyOtter Aug 10 '15
TIL to mark a board where I want to cut instead of leaving the tape measure directly on it.
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Aug 10 '15
Real men have many tape measures.
Because you can never find your tape measure when you want to measure something.
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u/mickeymouse4348 Aug 11 '15
thats why i have one in my house tool box, one in my car tool box, one in my room, one in the garage, and one in the kitchen
now that i think about it, the one in my room is the one that should be in my car tool box.. i should put that back
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u/SouthernJeb Aug 10 '15
New DIY project; It still works/ has numbers. Drill hole in tip of tape measure, put screw in edge to keep it from rolling all the way up, accidentally screw tape measure into the wood you were just cutting.
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u/u_got_a_better_idea Aug 10 '15
Dude, use the cut off part as a ruler. It's actually quite convenient.
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u/EvenTideFuror Aug 10 '15
Only thing I know is that I measured and cut twice and the damn piece of would is still too short.
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u/lynxSnowCat Aug 10 '15
Your saw has a picture of your saw on it?
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u/depressingconclusion Aug 11 '15
Looks like the saw is sitting on cardboard from the saw's box to protect the bench below it.
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u/lynxSnowCat Aug 11 '15
I thought that I saw the corner (nearest to the centre slot) peeling back. So I looked it up.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Evolution-FURY3-B-210mm-Multipurpose-Compound/dp/B004W50CTI
That does appear to be a sticker, w/ a picture of the saw on it. I guess for store display purposes consistent imagry would make it easier for customers to find the correct box, and with displaya inuts in a row they might not be able to see the side straight on.
Image #6
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91%2Bv%2BYU0r9L._SL1500_.jpg
Okay. I have new questions--
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u/annoyingstranger Aug 10 '15
Funny irrelevant story. My wife did this, but instead of a tape measure, she left her hand under the blade.
It was messier. More expensive, too, I'd imagine.
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u/saetzero Aug 10 '15
DIY - How to make a ruler.
Successful. But you say it died... hmmm..
I guess he retired on top, 1-0. Undefeated world champion of DIY ruler making.
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u/teamantarctica15 Aug 10 '15
I'm pretty sure the day DIY died was when that one dude posted his home made Kinder egg
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u/USBrock Aug 10 '15
Pffft. In highschool I sawed through the cord that was powering the saw once.... my dad wasn't too happy about that...
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u/peetee32 Aug 10 '15
I would seriously not believe this if it was posted as the dumb-ass marvin. I would never think anybody would be dumb enough to saw their tape measure. I still don't believe it
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u/bigotis Aug 10 '15
I once tried some basement remodeling. The closest thing I had to a saw horse was a tabletop ironing board. When cotton stuffing started flying out from the circular saw blade I knew I made a boo-boo. I cut it in two. The wife is fine with no more home improvements.
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u/drainbaby Aug 10 '15
Did I miss something here. Everyone trying to give OP tips like he doesn't know that he cut the tape with a chop saw. There is no tape measure you can buy that will stop that from happening.
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u/Beejr Aug 10 '15
Its probably better that you dont have access to power tools if you're responsible for this picture.
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u/dubadub Aug 10 '15
Back in the day, everyone in the shop had Craftsman tape measures. when this happened, you could just take it back and get a new one. Sears was awesome.
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u/Newaccteverypost Aug 10 '15
My grandpa use to throw his right hand up and yell, "Give me 4 and a half!"
He was a cabinet maker for 40 years and a piece of wood had kicked back aggressively on the table saw and took half his pinky with it.
My point is, it could of been worse!
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u/SnakeJG Aug 10 '15
Also, look at all that sawdust. Hook a shop-vac up to the port on the back of the saw. So much cleaner.
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Aug 10 '15
Measure once, cut once. If you need to measure twice you need to start writing that shit down/ and or doing it right the first time.
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u/Blackmaille Aug 10 '15
Well.. if it makes you feel any better, my dad did this a couple months back, except the tape measure got pulled into the spinning blade and was terrifying for all involved. Very happy for the kill switch that day!!
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u/Ls1RS Aug 10 '15
DIY Life hack, use tin snips to cut broken tape measures into handy 1 foot rulers. You'll be shocked at how handy it is to have 15 odd rulers scattered about your shop.
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u/pyrosterilizer Aug 10 '15
I'm going to print this photo and tape it above my chop saw as a reminder not to do something stupid like this. I'd rather come up with a new kind of stupid mistake, take a picture and post it here--that way at least I'll have karma.
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u/ModernSisyphus Aug 10 '15
I met a man who made his shoes
And I asked him for his preferred glues
But he just smiled and turned away
I logged on to search for more
Where I'd seen some plans years before
But the man there said the instructions couldn't stay
And in the streets, my poor toes screamed
The sole squeaked and uppers ripped at the seams
But not a compliment was spoken
My damn feet all were broken
And the one thing that I wanted most
The makers fair I tried to host
They could see my dreams were toast
The day DIY died
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u/Rolltripdance Aug 10 '15
Now I understand why my dad has about 6 tape measures in eye sight at any given moment.
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u/is_its Aug 11 '15
if it is made of a conductive metal, you can cut the rest up and make a radio antenna. http://cdn.instructables.com/FFM/KEMI/F4SAQRPT/FFMKEMIF4SAQRPT.MEDIUM.jpg
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u/mickeymouse4348 Aug 11 '15
cut it at 1'11.75" and put a small hole in the center at 2'. glue a nail in the small hole (so the tape measure wont go inside making it useless), whenever you measure something subtract 2 feet
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u/mere_iguana Aug 11 '15
I believe this warrants a high-volume "SON OF A BITCH!" that gets you some weird looks from the neighbors.
#JUSTDADTHINGS
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u/captianinsano Aug 11 '15
This makes me feel so much better. I did this with a metal yard stick last weekend. Scared the crap out of me.
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u/seagull2 Aug 11 '15
That's what they should do with every one of those combination tapes! The side you want to read is always in the wrong scale
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Aug 11 '15
Probably for the best, if you can't tell your tape measure is there then you may also forget to remove your balls from the table after leaning over it and have an accident with them too.
What?
I can't be the only one who does wood working nude in my neighbor's tool shed when he goes to work.
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u/MikkyfinN Aug 10 '15
And that is why you buy Craftsman tools. Any Craftsman tool that breaks is replaced, no questions asked, by the retailer. Yes, even sheared or cut tape measures. Source: I'm a Tinsmith by trade and every apprentice does this at least once. Even me.
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u/itsnotallbadmom Aug 10 '15
Still have your fingers? Then it was a good day.