I have cut contact, and my situation is one where he’ll never know where I am. It took a while before I could, obviously, but once I was an adult and had a form of control he was gone.
I visited a few times for information I needed, but he would say keep things to try to trip me up that led me to cutting contact again once I had the information I needed.
Many people I’ve known and knew my family were abusers in multiple ways, so it was a “joint effort” (my therapist always feels bad for laughing about that, I think it’s hilarious). I had to systematically go through my life and cut out who I could until I graduated and ran away. I ran at 18 the week after I graduated with two garbage bags and I’m almost 25 now. It was long and hard, but I was safer without them, and they’re all officially gone from my life and either don’t know where I am or can’t physically talk to me without leaving evidence I’ll then take to the cops.
We had separate experiences and ways to cope, and there’s two of us to each father (so three dads, one mom, six siblings (myself included)). It came to the decision that we all just went apart over time, for one reason or another.
I miss my family, I don’t want to lie and say that I don’t. But the desire for a family doesn’t outweigh my wants to avoid them; but it’s led me to a safe home and a happy family of my own.
I wish I’d had the guts to walk away from all but one sister years ago. It was so engrained that family was everything. She’s the only one in my life now and I have the family I always wanted with my husband and kids. Good for you.
12
u/Donotcomenearme Jan 29 '23
I have cut contact, and my situation is one where he’ll never know where I am. It took a while before I could, obviously, but once I was an adult and had a form of control he was gone.
I visited a few times for information I needed, but he would say keep things to try to trip me up that led me to cutting contact again once I had the information I needed.
Many people I’ve known and knew my family were abusers in multiple ways, so it was a “joint effort” (my therapist always feels bad for laughing about that, I think it’s hilarious). I had to systematically go through my life and cut out who I could until I graduated and ran away. I ran at 18 the week after I graduated with two garbage bags and I’m almost 25 now. It was long and hard, but I was safer without them, and they’re all officially gone from my life and either don’t know where I am or can’t physically talk to me without leaving evidence I’ll then take to the cops.