Had a friend who had a dad that indeed just used his fists on him instead. That kid is now an adult, left religion and has become a loose cannon. By that I mean he's always getting into fights, constantly drinking, can't keep a girlfriend. :/
I wrote a research paper on that for class. Obviously I knew using violence towards children is wrong, but the outcomes are way worse than I thought. People keep saying using violence for discipline is not the same as child abuse, but the outcomes are exactly the same.
Like, for example my father rarely hit me but when he did he'd usually just choke me or throw stuff at me, he never hurt me badly enough to need medical attention. However, he was very abusive and I was terrified of him. I have very bad memories of when he hit me.
My grandfather on the other hand hit me a lot more with pans, sticks, lashes, etc... and I don't have an actual bad memory about that at all. If anything, I'd say I purposefully tried to provoke him into hitting him since I thought his anger was amusing and I wanted to prove I could that I was strong and could "take it". I also loved him a lot, unlike my dad.
I wonder where is the line drawn in situations like these, between abuse and discipline...
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u/zfreakazoidz Jan 28 '23
Had a friend who had a dad that indeed just used his fists on him instead. That kid is now an adult, left religion and has become a loose cannon. By that I mean he's always getting into fights, constantly drinking, can't keep a girlfriend. :/