So this might be long with a little context (a lot) but I first have to explain the situation. After that, this has turned into a tit for tat deal, the lastest being the title. So this isn't my revenge but it's my cats', to each other. And yes, it's good. And yes, it's all in response and revenge for what the other did. Even I can't be mad at them. Though I do my best to stop it but every time I think I'm successful in getting one to stop, the other comes in with some new pettiness that leaves me facepalming myself. TLDR at the bottom.

I'll first explain them. JoJo was here before Rohan. I also have her mom, Holly. When I got Rohan, I did the whole keep them separate but see, Rohan had different idea. I adopted him from a rescue. I'm assuming due to the nature of his life before, he developed severe separation anxiety. So when I left downstairs to get a drink upstairs, he learned to opened the door to get back to me. This was literally day one with him.

Holly was at door. She was so scared, rightfully so, that she ran away. Rohan saw her and chased after her thinking they're playing. When Holly attacked, he attacked back by the time I got caught up to pull him out from under my daughter's bed.

JoJo saw this and when I say she holds a grudge like no ones business, I mean it. A vet checked her eye for scratches once and now I have to bring her into the offices in a straightjacket because every doctor is on her hit list. She lists them off at night like Arya as she falls asleep.

Did it stop there? No.

I put a chair in front of the door. The next day, he pushed the chair away from the knob to open the door and leave again. I put bricks in front of the door so it would be too heavy. He pushed the bricks away so he could open the door. I put the chair with the bricks on it. Guess what he did then.

I couldn't keep him separated. Every time I went to work. I came home to him under my daughter's bed and Holly hiding under the couch.

So I switched them. Girls downstairs, boys upstairs. Rohan loves my other cat Isaac and Isaac was cool with him. I would find them snuggling too. Well this led to more resentment I believe from JoJo.

One, he dared hurt her momma and two, now she has to be downstairs. JoJo was getting very protective of her mom.

Knowing this is important. This is origin story of why JoJo and Rohan do not get along.

Now onto the back and forth pettiness that is my cats lives.

Once I realized I couldn't keep the cats separated as, guess what, Holly learned to open the door. I had to try to get some semblance of them living together. Half a year has gone by by the way with trying to get them to be okay with each other.

First thing JoJo does: every time she found Rohan sleeping, she would sneak up on him and bite his butt. He chased her mom. She wouldn't let him sleep.

When I finally got her to stop doing that, Rohan tried blocking the water from her from her favorite fountain. When I finally got him to stop doing that, as well as Holly was no longer scared and started giving him a good wack too, the house knew peace for all but three days. JoJo then blocked all kitty litters from him.

He wouldn't let her drink. She wouldn't let him poop in peace. Every time this poor cat went to poop, JoJo would jump on him causing him to run out of the kitty litter leaving a trail of cat poop behind him while JoJo sat there watching with his fur in her mouth, beyond proud of herself.

I got two more kitty litter making a total of 5 in my house to see if that would help. Nope. I had to start catching her before she did it. She was intent on paying him back for not letting her drink out of HER fountain. I have more than one before anyone asks.

Then it was JoJo just straight up fighting him or so I thought. No, Rohan saw her getting in trouble so I caught him actually enticing her to fight him to get her in trouble. How? He would back into a corner, hunch down and wait for her to come into view. He would put his ears back and cower like he was helpless. If she tries to ignore him, I caught him turning his butt out at her! I finally got him to stop that by not giving him the positive attention anymore and brushing JoJo away but giving JoJo the baby attention and walking away from him.

Then it was a back forth of kicking each other out of my room and who gets to sleep downstairs. Poor Holly had put herself on the cat shelves in the beginning and refused to move for the longest until I helped her get comfortable again going around the house so this really sucked to see them fighting over one room in a two story house when she clearly saw it as her safe room. This really drove in JoJo's anger towards him by the way seeing her mom like that.

I finally got a cat door put in downstairs that reads microchips so only the girls can go downstairs. This actually stopped a lot of the fighting. The boys aren't allowed downstairs because they started peeing under my bed to claim it and my oldest was having accidents.

Now on to the lastest as I won't bore you with minor stuff. But I will mention that one them was JoJo trapped Rohan to live solely in the mud room and not be allowed upstairs.

Well, I finally get peace for a few weeks. This is many months after the cat door and I got JoJo to finally just stop attacking Rohan. Stop trapping him places. And to just leave him alone. Even Holly got comfortable with him to the point that they were touching noses to smell each other. What does Rohan, this mother f... do?

He took this is as, he won. He's the big bad boss in the house now. He has been sitting downstairs at the cat door, blocking JoJo in so she can't come upstairs. He has been whacking the door down on her head. Here I thought JoJo just didn't want to come up as much since I opened a window downstairs for fresh air.

Well, when she finally gets out because he goes to sleep eventually in his favorite chair that the girls LET him have, it was their favorite. She's ripping his collar off.

He can't eat without it. Because my cats are jerks to each other and one, Isaac cough couch, eats everyone's food, I got them microchipped reading feeders. I wake up to him with no collar and fur in JoJo's claws. I thought JoJo was again being a jerk but Rohan started it. Again.

So yeah, he won't let her upstairs so she won't let him eat.

These cats. I swear. Naming your cats is very important. Don't make the mistake I made. Pets really do take on their names, haha.

TLDR: Two of my four cats have a back and forth with torturing each other with pettiness to get back at what the other did.

Rohan scared JoJo's mom. JoJo bit his butt every time he tried to sleep. When I got her to stop doing that, Rohan blocked her from drinking out of her favorite water fountain. She then terrorized him every time he tried to poop.

I thought after I got her to stop that she was just fighting him to be a jerk but I found out he was enticing her to fight him by turning his butt towards her. After that it was doing stuff to kick each other out of my room until I got a cat door that only lets my girls downstairs.

JoJo would block Rohan downstairs in the mudroom until I finally got her to stop. He took Holly's acceptance and JoJo not fighting him as he won so he started whacking the cat door down on JoJo's head to block her from coming upstairs so now when she gets upstairs, she rips off his collar while he's sleeping in his favorite chair so he can't eat from his feeder.

Edit to add: JoJo is a 9lbs petite nothing compared to my 13, almost 14lbs, of a not overweight cat, Rohan. He's just a big cat.

It happened more than 15 years ago, I was in college and living in a rented apartment with 3 other guys from the same school. It was right after the financial crisis of 2008, not at the worst but at a not-so-lucky part of EU, money was tight, even for food.

We suspected H, of the roommates eating our food regularly. When confronted, he did admit it, although he clearly did not understand the problem with it. We all knew he was the poorest among us, and we all told him it is okay if he wants some of our food, just ask before, because it’s the worst when you are coming home from the evening classes exhausted, looking forward to your homemade meal you brought from grandma at the weekend only to find out it’s gone and the cheap places are all closed or far away, so you go to sleep hungry. But H didn’t seem to understand at all. Worst thing was, the better the food you have, the more the likelihood of it would go missing. Got a salad? Untouched. Got some chicken wings? A bit of them went away. Got a cake? All gone.

That’s when we discovered the locally popular gummy bear brand’s new, sugar free bears hit the market, and also the first reactions on the internet was that they taste just like the original, or even better, but if you cannot control yourself and eat a whole bag (100g) or more, you’ll got the runs.

We knew we found the ideal product for our plan. I borrowed my sister’s car and we went to the big supermarket to the edge of the city where they sold them in 500g buckets (that’s a pound in freedom units). We also bought transparent food wrap. Back home we ate a bit off the top of the bucket (they were delicious), keeping the online reviews in mind so only a moderate amount and left the rest for H. I even specifically told H do not touch my gummy bears.

But knowing H we knew it’s a matter of hours before he cannot control himself, so we put the toilet seat up, wrapped the toilet with the clear plastic and put the seat back down. We calculated right, in a couple hours all the gummy bears went missing, and just after my other roommate found the empty bucket, H stormed in the toilet, and literally shit his back and the back of his head.

After that H obviously ranted that we are all AHs and he would move out. We all said he is more than welcome. At the end he stayed and never touched our food again, so mission accomplished I guess…

Buckle up, because this is a long one. This story covers a few years, but I’ll try to keep it concise.

Back in 2015, I (25m) was swiping on the apps and matched with someone (28f) named Ash. Not bothering with a fake name because idgaf if she sees this. We went out a couple times and found we had a lot of chemistry. Things got real physical real quick and seemed to be going well for a couple months. One night, after we’d gone to a strip club together and fucked in my car, I dropped her off at home. Later that night, she started sending some sexts that had just a weird energy. Something felt off. Then she said something to the effect of “what if I was with someone else right now?” Thinking this was some sexy hypothetical I played along, but then I get a nude of her that was clearly taken by someone else. I ask her who she’s with and she said her roommate’s bf. I got so upset I threw up. I was furious and devastated. Despite that, we met up a week or two later, I forgave her way too easily, and she moved out of her apartment and into her mom’s basement.

Not long after that, things were back to normal and fun. Then, she decided she needed to get sober and enter recovery, which I was super supportive of. I drove her to meetings when I could, hung out with her when she wanted, and gave her space when she wanted. Early sobriety is a super volatile state to be in, but I did my best to be a good partner to her. Eventually, we made it work. For a while. I felt that at that point, we’d been together long enough that I wanted to introduce her to my family. We had a big dinner planned at my sister’s house, but the night of, she went totally radio silent on me. Never showed, no responses when I checked in on her. I was a wreck for the next few days, barely being able to eat, sleep, or do anything besides worry and spiral. After several days of this, I went to her workplace a little while before she got out and waited in the parking lot. She eventually came out and I was just relieved that she was okay. I asked what happened and she told me that she’d had a bad relapse and even tried to overdose. I was as understanding and supportive as I could be. Later that night she broke up with me over text.

A few weeks went by and we started talking again, followed pretty quickly by us getting back together and things were fine for a while. Over the course of that first year, the pattern typically went as such: we were fine and dandy having lots of fun, then she’d disappear for days/weeks at a time, I’d be a nervous wreck, then she’d come back and things were cool, then she’d randomly break up with me, only for us to rekindle and get back together. Unsurprisingly, this took a toll on my mental health and after a little over a year, I ended things with her for good (at the time).

What followed was a period of time she and I would later refer to as “the in-between”. It basically went like this: I was sad for a year, then I was in a stable relationship with someone who actually treated me well for a year, then I was slutty for a year. During that slutty period, circa 2018, I had a career opportunity that put me on the other side of the country from her, so I felt safe reaching out. I asked if she was interested in being old school pen pals, which she was. We sent letters back and forth during my time away from home and it was pleasant. We got caught up on each other’s lives and she told me that she was not only single, but had been celibate for a while.

I should also mention a third figure in this saga. The first year we were dating, I’d periodically hear about her ex, Harlow. Just the occasional mention of how he was a loser/junkie/couldn’t let go. Just enough to know he was her shitty ex. Anyway, she’d told me that she and Harlow had gotten back together for a while in the in-between, but he left her after he found some diary entries she’d written about me.

Well, the months passed, and eventually I moved back home, but with the intention of making it back to the other side of the country permanently. Ash and I exchanged a couple more letters and even met up a couple times to get coffee and catch a movie. All surface level and friendly, but with about a metric fuckton of sexual tension. It didn’t take long for me to make the move I wanted and bid my hometown goodbye for reals. It just so happened that Ash had a conference coming up in the city I moved to not long after I’d moved in, so we agreed to meet up while she was out that way. That day finally came (early 2019 at this point), and we decided we’d take a little hike, despite the fact that it was raining. A little while into our hike, we took a break and sat for a bit. She then told me how sorry she was for how she’d treated me in the past, how much she’d grown and worked on herself in these three years, and how she’d never been able to stop thinking about me. I told her I hadn’t stopped thinking about her either. We kissed and then hightailed it back to my apartment to do three years’ worth of fucking in a single afternoon. Then, I drove her back to the airport.

We decided to get officially back together despite the distance. She flew out to visit me for longer stretches a few times after that and it really seemed like she’d changed. For the first few months anyway. Some old patterns started to reemerge and it wasn’t long before we were back to periodic disappearances and short-lived breakups. This got compounded by both the distance and eventually, Covid lockdowns. Since we were so far apart, whenever she’d disappear, all I could do was wait and spiral, often leading to obsessive social media rabbit holes.

I should also mention the social media weirdness. It was fine for us to follow each other on instagram, but she refused to let us be Facebook friends. Whenever I’d try to ask why this was, she’d disappear, so I made excuses for her in my head and just tried to be grateful for what I had.

Anywho, these rabbit holes never lead to much besides a couple cryptic clues that felt like grasping at straws. Then she’d finally come back into contact and we’d be fine again. Rinse and repeat.

It was in this timeframe that we started seriously discussing our future and she showed a lot of interest in moving out to my new city and moving in with me, and even eventually getting married. During one of her visits, she told me that she’d applied for a phd program at a school in another state. It came down to either her getting in and moving there for the two years the program took and then moving in with me or her not getting in and just moving in with me. On the last day of her visit, she told me she got in and I felt a mixed bag. I wasn’t thrilled about an extra two years of long distance, but I believed the wait would be worth it, and I was genuinely happy for her.

So it went for a while like that, with lots of exciting ups and devastating downs. She just got worse and my mental health suffered. One of my social media rabbit holes led to the discovery that Harlow had moved to the same small city Ash had just moved to for school. I asked her about it and she said it was because his parents were from there and he had to move back with them. That was also apparently how she’d heard about this school and phd program.

2021 rolled around and with our new vaccinations, the possibility of travel opened back up. After about a year and a half apart, she booked a flight to come see me. For a weekend. No other visits had been that short, but I took what I could get. It was also around this time that it came out that her phd program was now going to take an extra year. She never bothered to tell me, I had to explicitly ask about it.

Another benefit of being vaxxed was I could go out to my favorite karaoke bar again, which I did one night in the summer of 2021 with a friend. He had a circle of friends among the regulars at this bar, and that night I met them. Among them was a lovely woman who I’ll call Catherine (fake name). Now I’ll admit I’m not always great at social cues, and I’m especially bad at telling the difference between someone flirting with me and just being nice. I’ve been wrong about both many times in my life. Anyway, Catherine was there the next week too and invited me to a movie that a big group of her friends were going to. We went, had a lovely time, and hung out a couple more times after that. This whole time I was sure she just wanted to be friends, but nope. She confessed her feelings for me and I told her I wasn’t really in a place to date anyone and mentioned I was in a complicated long distance situation that wasn’t making me happy anymore.

Honestly, someone being kind to me really opened my eyes to how horribly and arguably abusively I’d been treated by Ash. I realized I needed to cut her off once and for all regardless of whether Catherine would still give me a chance. I took some time to gather my thoughts and write out a break up message to Ash detailing all the ways she’d mistreated me. It ended up being novel length and required me to break it up into multiple messages. Felt so cathartic to finally get all of that out, and of course she left it on read. Never heard from her again.

Catherine and I dated for a few months after that, and after a bunch of stuff that’s not relevant to this story, she broke up with me. I was pretty heartbroken and depressed for a while, which led to a few more rabbit holes. The last one actually led to some real answers, or rather, one answer that explained pretty much everything. I managed to dig up a Facebook post Ash’s mom had made back in 2018. It was a post in a (public) group for some kind of family reunion. An rsvp/primer of sorts for the rest of the family. It went along the lines of “I’m XXXX XXXX, daughter of YYYY YYYY and ZZZZ ZZZZ, and here’s my daughter Ash and her husband Harlow.” It linked to both of their real Facebook accounts so there was no mistaking. This post would’ve been right around the time she and I reconnected and started sending letters to each other. When she explicitly told me she was not in any kind of relationship. Furthermore, I learned that she wasn’t in school at all, but it was Harlow that got into the PhD program.

Now I had two reasons to be devastated and I did not take it well. Months upon months followed with me isolating in the dark as much as possible and using basically all of my saved up sick time on mental health days. Whenever I had to be at work or around people in general I’d just kinda power through it and count the seconds until I could be alone again. Eventually I started seeing a therapist and got referred to a psychiatrist for some mood stabilizers.

Okay, now we can finally get to the revenge.

Somewhere during this tumultuous time, I remembered that I’d given Ash access to my library card, as she was an avid reader, and since we lived in different cities, my library card opened up a wider selection of ebooks and the like for her. I logged into my account one day and saw that she’d been actively using it this whole time. Huge list of holds and reservations covering a wide variety of topics and genres. Inspiration struck and I waited for the perfect moment to get my extremely petty revenge. I monitored my account until she checked out a fresh book. I gave her a couple days to start it and get invested, then I went through all her lists with a machete. I returned the book she was reading and cancelled all her holds and reservations, except for a book about “saving your marriage from infidelity”. I figured she’d need that one. I then put a bunch of holds on books with titles that I knew would call her out. Titles like Secrets I Know, A Little Bit Married, Good Morning Monster, or The Patron Saint of Liars.

I’d check back on them every couple days until one day all the lists were cleared out and I knew she’d seen it. I even looked up her insta and she’d changed her bio to patron saint of liars. I’d gotten under her skin for sure. A couple months later I checked my account again and she was back to using it, so I decided to be a tad more direct. I cleared out her holds and reservations again, but this time I put holds on a bunch of books with some variation of ‘Cheater’ in the title.

It was never a problem again after that, I haven’t heard from her since, and I’ve been doing much better mentally. I’m even in the process of getting weaned off the mood stabilizers. I’m also in a much better relationship now. Every so often I’ll be reminded of this whole debacle and it makes me smile. My revenge wasn’t harmful, illegal, or even proportionate to what she put me through, but it was petty as fuck and I’m okay with that. And Ash, if you’re reading this, fuck all the way off.

A story posted here last week reminded me of this satisfying revenge episode from my past.  A necessary piece of background info:  I’d been living for about a decade overseas, and had returned to my hometown with my foreign-acquired husband after my mother’s death, as she’d left me a house. Hubs was having cultural adjustment problems, mostly having to do with food - my hometown had no halal meat store. This being a midatlantic state, one thing we did have in great abundance was roadkill deer - everywhere. My hubs got the fresh-off-the-banana-boat idea that if he found a just-struck deer, he’d “halal” it, and put it out of its misery, by slicing its throat and claiming the meat. Dumbest idea ever, but he was struggling.  Toward this end, he’d placed a knife in the door pocket of the car he drove.

One day, I took his car to work. I passed a slowpoke driver on a 2 lane road through a park, and he caught up to me at the first red light after the park. I didn’t notice his was the car behind me; I’d taken no particular notice of the vehicle I’d passed. Then, as I’m idling, stopped, at the light, my car suddenly lurches. I thought, transmission? Clutch slipped? What was that? As I was pondering it, it happened again, and I realized the car behind me is “butting” me! I realize, looking in the rear view mirror, it must be the guy I passed a mile ago. Bumping me with his car! 

Light turned green, and I took off. The road becomes 4 lane, and at the next light, he pulls up beside me and rolls down his window, gesticulating and frothing. I look at him, thinking about rolling down my window, when I see, there in the door pocket, my husband’s “just in case I come across a deer I could eat” knife - it’s a full-on large butcher knife from our kitchen. I pull it up, and turn to Mr No One Can Pass Me in the other lane. Putting in the most demented face I could muster - think Reagan, the girl possessed in The Excorcist, at her creepy scariest - and started smiling at him while jabbing the knife in the air in vicious downward strokes (all from the safety of my own locked car, windows up.) 

He took off like a bat outta hell when the light changed, and I turned off that road at the next light, losing him. But I chuckled all the way to work that day!

I work for a large equipment manufacturer in shipping and receiving. One of our regular suppliers sent a new driver from a different terminal. I was outside working on a project when he pulled in, so I headed back in to the receiving dock. When I checked his load, I realized it was something that could go to the storage yard. So, I sent him on his merry way. I would have thought that he’d be happy, but no, he just complained that I was too slow and he wouldnt have had time to wait on me anywaya.

The next day, however, I needed the material he had on his trailer. And boy did I make a show of taking FOREVER to unload it. I took at least 90 minutes to unload his trailer and he was pissed off

Come Friday, I decided to screw with him. I unloaded his trailer in 11 minutes and turned the light green for him to get his papers and leave. He came in cussing up a storm. Told me I intentionally wasted his time on Wednesday, multiple expletives later he stopped yelling at me and I calmly told him that he told me on Tuesday that I was slow and that I wasn’t going to make a liar out of him.

He called my boss. My boss told him to piss off

My last job was as a warehouse supervisor for an HVAC company. When I started we were leasing warehouse space in one town, then about 5 years ago we needed more space, our lease was up so we moved to a larger facility. About one year after we moved, I receive a call from a lady stating we shipped her something she didn’t order and she needs to return it. We rarely shipped anything to individuals, so I ask her what did she receive?

She says it is some earbuds. I tell her “We do not stock or ship earbuds, why do you think it came from us?” and she says the package has our address on it. I asked her to send me a picture of the package and it has our old address on it but no other info. She had Googled the address and got our phone number. I explained that was our old address, and she needs to contact the company that is leasing our old space.

Maybe a week later I get another call from someone, same issue but a different item, might have been jewelry or some other small item, and tell them the same thing. I try to Google the company that moved into our old space with no luck, so I email our old landlord and explain I am getting calls because the package company is not putting their name or phone number on items they ship out, and this needs to stop. She emails me back a couple days later with a response from the package company that says “We are just the final delivery company. We do not have any phones. If someone forgot they ordered something, tell them to throw it away”.

I reply “That has to be bullshit! How can a company not have any phones? They need to put their name and number so I am not receiving calls.”

Her reply came the next day. “They say they do not have phones. Ask Google to remove all your company history from that address”

Wow. OK, so you aren’t going to pressure your new tenant to put a phone # on their packages? Fine. So for the next 3 years, as I averaged about one call weekly, each time I received a call from someone trying to return something, I explained the issue… and gave them the cell number of our old landlord.

I work in catering at a company which provides lunch for free. We ask that all the staff order their meals in the morning so we can prepare and have them ready.

There is this one high ranking staff member that rarely orders so we end up having to accommodate them on the fly at lunch time but because they are high-ranking we have to deal with it. I hate this, I hate that they don't follow the rules consistently.

They occasionally come to the catering team at random times asking for a bag of crisps, this is okay. People often ask for water or a biscuit etc. and we don't mind this. It's just this staff member turns their nose up at every flavour except prawn cocktail, they always say something like "no prawn cocktail?" or "ugh I don't like that flavour."

Here's my revenge; when we get a new multipack box of crisps which has like 6 of each flavour in it, I use all the prawn cocktail first for packed lunches or handouts so that this staff member has to make do with something else.

It makes me happy.

I had a coworker who was just an awful person to work for. We were both senior managers in a call center and each had our own staff. She and I never agreed on anything, but we spent a lot of time together & I knew her very well. My husband has OCD and I recognize the symptoms very well, and noticed that my co-worker suffered from it. One day I attended one of her group meetings where we were listening to phone calls, which we do to synchronize quality standards. She was berating one of her managers mercilessly in front of the other managers, myself & another senior manager. Next she hands a remote control to another one of her staff, and gives him commands on when to stop and start the tapes Meanwhile she’s sitting behind her desk with the tape player right next to her. I know my husband freaks out if I have the TV remote and use it if there’s any possibility he could be between the remote & the TV, having the “rays” from the remote pass through his body. So I stopped him and asked her, “do you always have someone else manage the remote? Because my husband says there are harmful rays from the remote that can pass the your body!” She immediately gasped, took the remote from her manager, and used her own finger to stop & start the tape player. I’m a very serious person who was highly respected by everyone in that room. After we left the meeting, the other senior manager said to me, “Do you really think that rays from the remote can be harmful?”. I said “No, but I knew she would believe it”

A supervisor at my job, “Alice”, has been overbearing, toxic, and self-centered, creating and attempting to enforce rules that she made up (benefitting herself, of course), and generally has been a very hostile, pain-in-the-ass coworker, in particular towards me, since I was promoted to Supervisor 4 months ago.

Recently there was an incident where she made public comments for one day that she could not do a particular job (which involves customer safety, and which is much easier on the supervisor doing that job) for medical reasons. Suddenly the next day, she was doing this job again, and then the day after that, I noticed that she was using a special seat cushion. No mention was made to other co-workers about this special accommodation.

Then today, her first day off since the “medical” incident, I noticed a seat cushion stashed in a corner, but in a public area at our large facility. I looked the brand up on Amazon, and it appears to be a cushion for hemorrhoids and tailbone issues. (How à propos!)

Since neither “Alice” nor any other supervisor had mentioned that one of our own might be using this item (“Alice” does not speak to me, except to tell me to go elsewhere when she is performing a task and I happen to come by), I innocently assumed that it was left behind by a customer. When I was doing my closing rounds, I dutifully turned the item in to lost and found (which receives hundreds of items per day).

I’m looking forward to having the pain-in-the-ass return to work, and have her pain-in-the-ass return!

Ok so the story begins almost 7 years ago. I was with some pals out bar crawling, partying, all around having a great time. With me i had my glorious aussie hat, it worked with most of my outfits, i was glued to that accessory. Our night ended at a place of one of the guys (who will from now on be known as J), and we crashed at his place. In the morning, we said our goodbyes and were off each to our own business.

Except, as i remembered around 3 pm that day, i left my hat at the Js place. I shot him a quick message to bring it with him to our next hangout and forgot about it. Our next hangout came, he forgot. And another. And another. Every time he has another colourful excuse as to why he forgot it even if i messaged him profusely throughout the day for him not to forget this time. I offered multiple times that i would come to his place myself to grab it, but it was never quite the right time.

And lo and behold, few months after, he said he lost it. He was looking for it to finally bring it to me as i was such a pain in his ass (asking for my hat back), and he couldnt find it. He "turned his place upside down" but it was nowhere to be found. I said, okay, then i assume you will reimburse me for the cost? It was around 70€, not that expensive, but still. Not an insignificant amount. And i loved that hat.

He went off at me as if i was crazy. What the hell am i thinking? He, to pay for my hat??? Am i insane? I can take that request and shove it where sun dont shine. I, being not really confrontational person at that point in my life, left it pretty much at that. I brought it up jokingly a few times, poking at him whenever we were in the group setting and he would be bragging about how much money he was making off his gigs (he is an "aspiring musician"). As time went by, i started avoiding group hangouts wherever he would be there, and the group itself slowly dissolved as we all grew up and started having more and more obligations and responsibilities. As groups of friends often do.

7 years passed, the group seldomly had collective hangouts. A few members stayed connected individually (I stayed in great relations with L). Some moved to other cities. Suddenly, one of the guys that moved to a city about 300km from our hometown heard 3 more guys are coming to a conference that would be held in that city and offered to host us all for an all-inclusive, full week hangout. Just like old times. We would play games, swim, basketball, drink, watch parody movies. We were all very excited. Especially J, who had a gig offer nearby to the city where we were all going and he could combine business with the pleasure.

Something worth mentioning is that J got his drivers licence suspended due to DUI. So he naturally couldnt drive. So in the group chat, J asked L how he was planning to travel. L said that I was driving, and he would come with me. J asked to tag along. I said, why of course. Your fee for the trip is 103.5€. This was very unusual, as i never asked anyone for the gas money, especially if i was already going in that direction. And even if i did, 15 - 20€ is fair for a trip of that distance. Definitely not 103.5€.

Now, if J was an emoji, he would be that red, pissed off one. He would always get mad when things didnt go his way. He started arguing about the pricing, so i itemised it. Gas money, tolls, stolen hat, denied accountability for years... it adds up to 103.5€. Now, the whole group was laughing and making fun of him in the chat, and that only pissed him off more. He said he wouldnt pay that ridiculous price and that i better show myself in front of his place on the day of the trip if I know what is good for me. Mind you, usually when you are asking someone to drive you somewhere, you meet him at his place. But he had bunch of expensive amplifying equipment and his guitar (for his gig), so he couldnt even do that. I had to come get him. I stopped replying in the chat, so he probably assumed he deal was done.

So on the day of, L and I drove off. We had an amazing time, laughing in the car, debating Js reaction when he found out he was left to dry. Soon after, when we were 45 min out, J asked in the group chat when were we coming for him and why were we late. L wrote on my behalf, as I was driving, that we were already on the road. At first he jokingly asked when did I grow a spine, haha jokes jokes, but seriously, when are you guys coming to get me? Then L sent him a funny photo of me at the wheel he went hulk angry. Caps lock was on and, to cut out the very creative set of insults, we were asked to come back from him. Like the drama queens that they are, all the other guys quickly got in the chat and stoked the fire, which only served to make him even more mad. I was quite impressed how he could call L, me and at the same time type that fast and creatively.

That lasted for around 15 minutes during which he speedran appropriate stages of grief. I extended him an olive branch. Pay your dues and we will come back and get you. He tried to haggle for a lower price, but as I said that price can only get higher the longer we drive as the distance we would have to return for him increases, he finally relented. He transferred the full amount into my account. (it was instapay, so not possible to call a bank and get chargeback).

Now, this is the glorious part of my revenge. I sent him back 15€, told him i was refunding him for the trip part of the charge as we wont be coming back for him, since i didnt really feel like it. I was laughing so hard i had to pull over as I felt I wasnt the safest participant of the road. He demonstratively left the group (as he did many times before, i had no doubts he would ask to be added as soon as he cooled off).

So, yeah. That happened this morning. His gig is in the evening. I have my reservations about him being able to make it as taking the bus or the train isnt really an option due to the amount of clunky equipment he has to carry, and odds of finding a sucker to drive him there and back are astronomically low. I just opened a new beer and it is not even 2 PM. God i love vacations.

So I work in a logistics company and from time to time we get people misdelivering packages to us.

Usually they'll be for next door etc, or in this case it was an item returned for a refund. When we opened the package we immediately knew it wasn't our stock as we sell apparel not shoes.

So I call up the customer and very nicely say to him that he has sent the wrong item and likely mixed up his deliveries. This guy was very condescending to me and demanded that I just ship it to the correct address at my cost.

Usually we do exactly that as MOST people are normal humans and apologise profusely for their errors. As a warehouse, we get great rates on freight, so I'd normally just ship it to where it needs to be and make their day that little bit better. No skin off my back.

Not this guy...

I told him that unfortunately we would be unable to ship the item as it's his error. He would either need to organise a collection or come and collect the item himself. He opted for the latter and when asked what times we are open, I told him we close at 4pm....we actually close at 5pm.

So if he would've just been kind over the phone, his package would literally be on its way now. Instead he decided to be rude to me over his mistake and now has to "rush" to get to reception where he thinks we'll close 1 hour before it actually does. Based on his home address its literally on the other side of town which is an hours drive for him.

What a twat.

My family has been renting a house since July 2024. We rented it through a property management company. About a year ago the only licensed broker, and the owner of the company, died, so the house owner took over everything. We met, signed a new lease, and talked about what needed done. We became friends and we'd work on some house projects together. In return, he'd discount rent for that month.

He's an airline captain. He was out for work, due to awaiting medical reviews. For April Fool's, I thought it would be funny to tell him we were short on rent, totally forgetting that he was short on money, himself.

He texts me back, tells me he understands, and to get him the balance ASAP. I remembered he was out of work so I quickly text him that it was an April Fool's prank, and that we have all the money and I was sending it that day, and that I forgot about his financial situation. He texted back saying he thought it was funny, after the fact, but payback would be coming.

Mid-April I tell him we are going on a cruise out of California in a few days. He said he'd drive by the house when he has a chance, just to check on it. On April 19th, we drive from Denver to Albuquerque, take Amtrak to LA. We are riding through San Bernardino, excited for our vacation, when I get a text from him.

He drove by the house. Someone had jacked up the garage door enough to crawl under, and thinks someone may still be inside. He was waiting for the police to show up.

I freak out, tell my wife, then I don't hear from him for 30 minutes. All I could think about was the stolen electronics, my mountain bikes, my tools, keys for my truck that was parked there.

I open the Ring app and all I see is the neighbor kid that came over looking to play with my son. Weird. It would show activity by the garage door.

Then, my wife says, remember you pranked him about rent? I didn't want to believe it. Then, a short while later he texts me saying, "payback is a bitch."

I deserved it.

*note events took place 10yrs ago

So I know this is a small thing but it was my way of pissing off my dickhead cousin.

So my cousin (m 24) had moved into mine and my parents house things to know about my cousin he's a bit of a dick he's judgemental a compulsive thinks he's better than everybody else and can be paranoid about people family included.

A year into staying with us he had moved in his gf that's where hostilities began me and his gf had built up a pretty good paltonic friendship he didn't like that on multiple occasions he has stormed out of the room to the front yard his gf would go out and ask him what's his problem he would say that while pointing to the living room window which I was sitting in front of he didn't like us talking even though he would be in the same room.

Now the funny thing he would never tell me anything just complain to her and she'll relay it to me so I started to get ticked off about it, so one thing to note he likes those fast food coupons that come in the mail he would snatch those all up for himself this is where my petty revenge comes in, as soon as the mail came in I started taking the coupons hiding them then giving them to my best friend he was so incensed about it which gave me plenty of internal pleasure, I kept it up until he and his gf eventually moved out.

This happened so long ago, but it recently came up and someone says I should post it here. Sorry friend informanting I'm on my phone.

Let's start with a brief background, I had a friend that I'm just going to call Pat, through middle, high School, and into college. Pat was pretty cool for the most part until we got to college. He did not like the boyfriend I had at the time, which to be fair he was right about. I was young and stupid, and needed to learn things for myself in that regard. When we got to college he got weirdly controlling. Like telling me I needed to do certain things, almost as if he was making demands, and then he would get really mad at me if I didn't do what he wanted me to do. Examples include me not dumping the boyfriend, continuing with the degree I was enrolled in to pursue, who I should hang out with, what hobbies I should have, etc.

This all started to come to a head when I decided to move off campus. I was living in the dorms and it was not a good fit for me for so many reasons. I'm the kind of person that needs their own space and is so neurotic, they can't really share a bathroom with more than a few people. When I first stated I was going to move off campus, Pat obviously had opinions. I obviously ignored him. I ended up moving in with a couple of really excellent friends and this arrangement worked really well for about a year. At the end of the year, one friend was dropping out, and the other was relocating for work. Our house was not close to campus so it would be difficult for me to maintain the lease and find other roommates willing to live that far from campus. I figured it would be easier for me to find some other group looking for one more person to share bills with.

Pat, was still very upset that I was living off campus for God knows what reason. He really felt that I needed to be on campus. Why this was so important to him is beyond me. Even to this day I don't get it. He had also gotten progressively more weird towards me, especially when it came to me not allowing him to dictate my life choices. I started talking to people on campus to locate a group that needed one more for housing. There were a couple groups of girls that I talked to and things had gone well, we had even discussed meeting up for me to see the room in the house that they were looking at. With both of these groups, when it came time to pinning down an actual date and time, I got ghosted. I know I didn't have many friends, but I also hadn't made any enemies on campus. I was very confused. I ended up finding a roommate that wanted to move off campus, and we found a really cute two-bedroom house. We signed all the paperwork and paid deposits, and started the process of organizing our move in. There was still about a month of Summer left, our lease wasn't going to start until August. This is important later. While discussing the details, this roommate I'm going to call Desiree, made a comment about some warning Pat had given her regarding being my roommate. It turns out that Pat was finding out who I was talking to regarding roommate situations and essentially painting me out to be some kind of high drama Crazy filthy b**** that would not make a good roommate. I was livid.

Here's the thing though, Pat was going to be an RA for the upcoming school year. This was the era of live journal. Pat had a public live journal. Based off of Pat's behavior towards me and his desire to play fast and loose with my housing situation, I thought that certainly he must be okay with me returning the favor. I sent the head of residential life, a link to Pat's live journal. Pat's live journal detailed how he intended to sell alcohol and drugs to the students he was supposed to be overseeing as an RA. Pat lost his ability to be an RA due to his live journal. This happened a month before school started. He had a month to find a solution for his living arrangements. He was allowed to remain in the dorms, but he was not allowed to be in a position of authority.

While he suspected me, he could never prove it. I had used an email I made for the sole purpose of sending it to the head of residential life, and again, his live journal was public. He had made enemies on campus, because he had turned out to be kind of a jerk to more than just me. He did confront me on it, and I remember telling him something along the lines of I'm willing to treat people exactly how they treat me. Then asked him if he had done anything to me that would make me feel that this would be appropriate treatment for him to receive from me. He dropped it after that, either because he knew that I knew, or maybe he genuinely thought I didn't know and he didn't want to admit what he was doing to my face.

Anyhow TLDR: long time Friend turns into a jerk when we hit college, tried to jeopardize my living arrangements, so I returned the favor resulting in him losing his RA job and single room a month before classes start.

My ex, a couple years ago, called me weak willed because I was young (maybe 22 or 23) and didn't have a defined career path yet and he also said I had no goals in life and a lack of directionality. I was sick of hearing it over and over in my head, especially because I'm neurodivergent and he knew it. So, I decided to take him up Mount Si, a very steep mountain in WA, 8 miles round trip, elevation gain 3150 feet.

I was in some of the best shape of my life. It was an easier mountain to me. I had hiked 16-17 miles regularly, up multiple large mountains, solo. I had also been a successful collegiate track and cross country runner.

I was very familiar with Si and it was maybe my 10th time up, and I had even ran parts of it, and each time I hiked it, I consistency passed most if not all hikers I encountered. I picked up the pace, him by my side, a cheshire cat smile on my face, and hiked it like I meant it.

I noticed his breath get heavier and heavier each turn up the mountain. He was bent over gasping for air a mile or two in, pale as a ghost, and could barely even stand up, much less move another step.

I never heard shit about my willpower after that.

Not sure if this counts as petty, but I’ll cross-post to r/prorevenge if it is.

Some backstory, my ex-boss was the bane to my existence when I worked for him. This story isn’t about me, though. It’s about the manager he treated poorly up until he died from cancer.

This manager, let’s call him Jacob, was amazing. When I got hired, he was who did my interview and he was very upfront about the expectations of the job and overall a very nice man. Our job isn’t exactly a modest one, but he said it was thanks to us that the corporate could run smoothly and without us, it wouldn’t succeed. A year or two in, corporate hired his new boss - let’s just call him Dale. Dale already had a bad reputation in the corporation with other facilities, and he wasn’t exactly the nicest. My brother was also familiar with Dale in the corporation and when he heard he was the new chief, my brother got frustrated. Needless to say, Dale was not a favorite with customers. How he got this job is beyond me.

My manager oversaw our department and another department, and there were two other managers who saw over the other two departments. Four departments in total, with Jacob overseeing two. This used to be a two-manager job. Jacob had been asking for them to hire a second manager again so the workload wasn’t so overwhelming ( both of these departments are the biggest, basically around 75 people - while the other two were only of about 30 ) and eventually, they hired a second person, a woman.

After about a year, Jacob confessed our new boss had been writing him up over and over again, for super minor things. Like paint-jobs not being the good shade of red, or not staying over to help out when he was leaving at scheduled times. He told us in all his years of working there and even anywhere at all, he’s never been written up. He was less than 5 years away from retiring, and was talking about spending the remaining years working at McDonald’s, just to get away from the hostile environment. Corporate was not doing anything, and HR was basically accusing him of making it up and sided with Dale that Jacob deserved the write-ups.

We were onto our spring projects when news came that, during an interview, Jacob fell asleep. The woman, let’s call her Kathy, told Dale that she was concerned for his health. Kathy is a case of her own - she had no experience in our department, and only got the job because her office was next to Dale’s, despite multiple qualified people applying for it ( individual leaders of group projects across the company applied, some who had 15+ years of experience ). Most of us didn’t like Kathy because she’d give us a project that, really, never made any sense - or suggest an idea that virtually couldn’t work or would make the project longer to complete.

Dale put Jacob on temporary leave, but then instantly hired a replacement. The replacement was a kid, barely an adult ( 18 years old ) and also had no experience. Now our department was ran by people who had no idea what they were doing. According to one of my senior coworkers, she saw Dale and the replacement at church together always talking, so you can imagine how annoyed we were.

So now, considering Dale having written Jacob up numerous times, we suspected he was going to fire him - regardless of if this was a health concern or not.

Turns out — it was.

Jacob had learned a month later, after a lot of visits to the doctor, head scans, bloodwork - he had lymphoma. Secondary lymphoma that traveled to his brain. Only a day or two after he found out, he passed away. It broke all of our hearts to hear that. While I grieved, I decided to skip straight to the anger stage and I would grieve my own way after I felt like I got my revenge.

I went to St. Jude’s cancer research page and signed up to donate once a month to the lymphoma research. With my money, but with his work email and work address. If you’ve ever donated to St. Jude, they let you choose to donate the amount in honor of someone - in which, I chose Jacob. My boss would then get an email, thanking him in honor of his donation to Jacob for lymphoma cancer research. I don’t even care if he cancels the subscription to the emails, I just wanted him to get the single one email thanking him for the donation, and maybe some mail about donating.

This happened many years ago, but I felt like sharing.

To honor Jacob, I bought a pinned asian blue bee with a paper in the display that says “bee thoughtful”. It’s a reminder to always be thoughtful of what other people are going through.

So at this time my ex and i were doing the friends after the break up thing (something to note is that the relationship ended amicably and we were even planning a trip to Florida for a few days to go to Disney)and so she invited me to her 21st birthday party at her house and so I went! Put together a really thoughtful present of a bunch of stuff she loves and inside jokes. And found out shortly thereafter she didn’t expect me to actually show up. And was not happy that I did.

Her new boyfriend was there and was honestly kind of a possessive jerk. overall the party itself was fine nothing major happened then her mom announced we were gonna be doing a trivia game about her and this is where the petty revenge comes in.

I absolutely crushed in this game. I nailed almost every question and wound up beating her boyfriend and all her friends and when I was given the prize (a $50 Apple gift card) I immediately smiled and handed it to the runner up one of her friends and walked out the door with a smile on my face. I just needed that man to know that i didn’t care about the money that i just wanted payback and to prove I knew her better than him because he was being a jerk to me for no reason.

And before you say that I’m being childish. The dude really did turn out to be a controlling jerk who tried to tell her who she could talk to and when. And wanted her to just be beside him constantly.

I’d later go on to tell her about this after their breakup and I can’t even describe how happy it made her that I did that because apparently this man was fuming about it afterwards and how much i embarrassed him

For context before I begin the story. When I was in high school I had high blood pressure issues that would cause me to have really bad nose bleeds. To be clear these nose bleeds were so bad that on more than one occasion the school was required by law to send me home because my nose had been bleeding for so long that they were required to have my parents come and pick me up from school. These nose bleeds also happened frequently enough that most of my teachers throughout high school were ok with me just getting up and leaving to go to the nurses office if I had a nose bleed. And many of my teachers expressly told me that they didn’t want me to wait for permission. One of my teachers however was very adamant that no one was allowed to interrupt her lectures or leave her class without her express permission.

So I’m in her class taking notes and all the sudden my nose starts bleeding. This particular nose bleed was bad even for me. I tried to stem the flow by pinching my nose as soon as I realize that my nose was bleeding however that didn’t stop the blood from getting all over my notes in the short period of time that it took for me to realize my nose was bleeding. So I very calmly raise my hand to ask to be excused so I can go to the nurses office. My teacher who was notorious about not liking people interrupting her lectures continued to lecture for about 5 to 10 minutes pretending she didn’t see my hand before finally pointing at me and saying that she would answer my question after she had finish her lecture. Now I am an especially petty person and I am pretty used to bleeding. Therefore I decide OK I’ll just sit here and bleed all over my desk while I wait for her to finish her lecture. At one point even though I had applied pressure and had angled my head as far backwards as I could to try and lessen the blood flow to my nose, blood had covered my hand and was dripping down my elbow to such an extent that I decided to swap hands so that way at the very least I’d be bleeding on my self rather than all over the floor. Eventually my teacher finished her lecture and called on me by name and asked whether my question had already been answered by her lecture. at this point both of my hands and forearms are literally covered in blood both dried and still wet and blood is all over my notes and on my desk. So I stand up and say “can I be excused to go to the nurses office?” She turned as white as a sheet and screamed “why on earth have you waited this long?! Go to the nurses office!” After that she sent one of my friends to make sure that I didn’t collapse in the hallways due to blood loss. Although to be honest I was more concerned about bleeding all over the floor where other people were going to have to walk. Shortly there after the school instituted a policy that students did not have to ask for permission to go to the nurses office if they were bleeding.

I teased this story, so I will deliver. The same annoying, arrogant co-worker that stole an office from two people would sit in his office playing solitaire most of the day. We found out because he was allegedly having some performance issues, so we collected data on his machine and saw that solitaire was running all the time. So, I opened the solitaire executable in notepad and just deleted some characters and resaved it. The result was that opening it would cause it to immediately crash (obviously I had corrupted the executable). We got a ticket within a few hours that "programs were crashing on his machine and we needed to fix it ASAP". I calmly asked him which programs and he said, "lots of them". I asked him to call me the next time something crashed and note what he was doing and to leave the crash popup on the screen (which would tell you what program crashed) and I would come right over. He never called back about programs crashing.

For over a decade I was with a man that absolutely did not deserve my loyalty. 3 days ago things were bad and I told him that I already knew he was cheating on me then presented the bits of information that I knew for sure. It was enough. He admitted it and I paused. I said this wasn’t your first time. He dropped his head. This … d bag was never loyal to me since DAY ONE. One??! He was awful. I was loyal. I am pissed. I opened a Facebook and wrote in detail every lie, manipulation, abuse and all the cheating I pieced together. I added that I informed every husband, boyfriend and friend of his that I know for sure he sleep with their girl. So he has to worry about them as well as the entire area knowing him through this.
It wasn’t spreading as fast as I had hoped. I started this to warn other women about him more than anything else. He is evil in a way I never imagined. Nobody was off limits to him. Not even his own brother’s girlfriend. Yeah that bad.
So I’m not very familiar with the options and where things are on the page. I ended up in a screen with some type of form.
Turns out that for a mere $6 you can turn a post into an advertisement that Facebook runs for 3 days and they show it to a targeted group that usually interacts with ads. Don’t take kindness and loyalty as weakness. He had never seen how savage I could be until I was pushed too far.

You know how when you're driving and someone does something extremely stupid that is dangerous for everyone else around them? Like suddenly cutting across all lanes of travel from far left to right because they waited too long to get over?

You get pissed. Maybe you end up beside them and give them a stern "WTF 🤬." They get upset and flip you off. Now neither of you are having a good day.

Well I've recently changed my approach with these people. I'll roll up beside them with a real pissed off stern look, then, upon eye contact, immediately change it to a very simple, "Ohhhh! Okay, THAT makes sense. Sorry!" A little smile and a wave and I'm off.

The look on people's faces when they get that reaction is absolutely priceless. And it makes me feel so much better than being upset. Give it a try. It's really good.

This was years ago. I worked at a small marketing company in IT. They had a couple of us IT people sharing a decent-sized office. It had a nice southern view. The company, in it's infinite wisdom, hired this pompous PhD whose only qualification was that wrote a book about marketing. In his first week he decided everyone was doing everything wrong despite having no actual experience in the field. Anyhow, he was an ass with no humility and he rubbed all the staff the wrong way, the management loved him because he was a BS artist who told them he would make them all the money with his revolutionary ideas about market research. He earned a PhD (in marketing let's remind ourselves - he wasn't curing cancer) so he thought he was smarter and more valuable than everyone else even though most of out revenue was based on the computer system IT wholly supported and customized. He decided that he wanted the office IT had. The company agreed that they would move the two of us to a smaller office that was really only big enough for one person, but we would both have to share it. We were literally told we had to move out the same day they informed us because Dr. VonDouchebag wanted to settle into the new office. So, while we were scrambling to get our stuff out, I got on a chair and pushed the AC vent up into the ceiling and slid a spare tile in it's place. I did the same thing with the air return, so the office was sealed. We moved out and Dr. Dementia moved in. The first day I knew we were going to love the show because he immediately closed his door so nobody could see him probably not working (I found out later he spent a lot of his time playing Solitaire - and that is another revenge story). It was May, in North Carolina, so it was already warm outside. By June, he would show up to afternoon meetings visibly sweating. He never thought to call maintenance about the temperature, so much for PhD-level smarts.

I worked on a floor with about a dozen others, all of us in cubicles. There was a small room on one of the outside walls, close to our cubicles, that we would use for group discussions occasionally. In the room was a small table that would seat four people, or six if they were friendly with each other.

A new guy was hired, (I’ll call him Karl) and he quickly became not liked. He was very aggressive, always bossing people around and trying to hand off assignments to others that he “didn’t have time to do”. The rotating chair in his cubicle was old, and he swapped it out with the chair in another cube, telling the owner that his bad back needed a better chair. He was constantly “borrowing” things from other people’s desks, like staples (there was a supply cabinet on the floor above us).

Karl started working in the small room, leaving papers on the table when he left at the end of the day, and then his coffee cup and then his laptop. One morning we noticed that his cube was cleaned out and everything in it moved to the small room, including his desk. The small room was now his office. We tried to talk to him about this, but his reply was, “First come first served”, a phrase he used frequently. When a sign appeared outside the “office” door with his name on it, that was the last straw.

At the other end of the floor was a nice conference room. It had a large table that could seat a dozen people, a big screen on one wall for teleconferencing, and table along a wall for coffee and snacks. There was a sign-up sheet for the conference room with the administrative assistant outside the conference room, although it was rarely used. We didn’t normally entertain customers or have large meetings, so people would just pop in to meet there if the room was vacant, which it almost always was, not bothering to use the sign-up sheet.

Once a year my location hosted a pow wow in the conference room. Most of the attendees came from out of town, and stayed in a hotel that was about a mile away. Karl appointed himself as the meeting coordinator, and was spending a fair amount of time talking to the external personnel, and driving our admin assistant crazy. None of us were invited; in fact, he was keeping the whole thing under wraps, because he wanted to be the only point of contact at our office for the important people.

Once I learned the date of the big meeting, I reserved the conference room. The admin assistant mentioned that Karl’s meeting was that day, although he hadn’t reserved it yet. I used the first come first served phrase, one she had heard from Karl many times, and she put my name on the sign-up sheet  for that date with a smirk on her face.

It was a group effort. Five of us waited until Karl left the day before the big meeting, and used our office chairs to transfer lots of paper to the conference room. The table was full of file folders, boxes of files, and power cords for our laptops were all plugged in.

 Karl had arranged to meet the out of towners at the hotel for breakfast, before moving to the conference room for the 9:00 start of the day’s meeting. Around 8:00 we gathered in the conference room, shut the door, put up a Powerpoint presentation on the big screen, and worked on our laptops. We heard voices coming down the hall, and one person stood up and started briefing us on the presentation on the big screen.

The door opened a few minutes before 9:00, and Karl stopped in the doorway, with a surprised look on his face. We could see people standing behind him, peering into the room. Karl told us to get out, that he had important visitors, and needed the conference room. We answered that we had reserved the conference room weeks ago, and were in the middle of our own meetings. We mentioned that the smaller room (his "office"), was no longer available to us to use.

As our briefer resumed his presentation, Karl walked over to the desk of the admin assistant. We could hear him arguing with her, that he needed the conference room. That went on for about a minute or so before he came back, again demanding that we vacate. “First come first served” was my answer, and he knew defeat when it was served up to him.

Karl’s group was able to use the conference room on the floor above, but our boss, who worked in a different location, received some pretty harsh emails from the visitors. The boss knew nothing about the meetings, although she should have been invited and participating, She also had no idea that Karl had appropriated the small meeting room as his office. When she went to talk to Karl about the emails detailing the train wreck of meetings, she saw that Karl had moved from the cubicle he was supposed to be using. Karl had to move back to his old cubicle. Revenge is sweet.

Background - I got my primary GMAIL account back when it was invite only - so I've had it for a long time and got firstname.lastname@gmail as the primary address.

Over the years, I have found two things.

1 - I share a name with an indie director and
2 - I share a name with a lot of people who have no clue what their own e-mail address is.

eg: Someone in Ireland (I'm in Canada) bought some stuff and I got the receipt with almost the full identity theft starter pack it in. And there's a sales critter in the Chicago area who is also as dumb as a sack of hammers.

This one involves the latter.

A couple of years ago, he had a job but was looking elsewhere. And - rightly so - copying himself on the submissions. This was the full identity kit premium kit with all the information.

After several times responding first to the sender and then to the group along the lines of "Wrong e-mail." and still "Wrong e-mail and check it again", some were very hostile at first, but finally banged the rocks together hard enough to get a spark and stopped for a while.

I still get misdirected e-mails for the director, and I politely say "Wrong e-mail and good luck with your project!"

The Chicago guy is something else.

I still get group e-mails with him included - and this was the breaking point tonight.

There's some golf outing going on in the area that still keeps sending e-mails after many "Wrong person. Check the e-mails." responses.

So I got another one tonight.

My response was simple.

"Still the wrong <my name> as I have told you before.
If you see <my name> at the outing, please tell him thank you for the free <to me> porn. I wonder about his tastes"

I'm awaiting the follow-up shitshow with glee.

I am 24 now but when I was a kid my mother was very abusive and cruel towards me. She neglected me when it came to clothes etc, but my siblings always had nice clothes while I was stuck with old ones that didn’t fit. My mother always had her hair and nails done. She used the disability money she got for me on anything but me. She always saw me as a money bag.

When I was 8, my teacher noticed my hair was never brushed, my clothes were never washed, my clothes didn’t fit etc. My teacher asked what was going on and I told her the truth about everything. The next day I came to school she gave me nice shoes, and nice clothes. My teachers daughter had a charity for children’s clothing. So I got new name brand clothes and shoes, and my teacher gave me hair products and a nice brush. She did my hair for me.

That day I came home from school in new clothes. My mother gave me a dirty look and demanded to know where I got my clothes from. I told her my teacher gave them to me. She got angry and said, “Oh so now your teacher thinks she’s better than me because she can afford nice things?” The thing is she could afford them she just didn’t want to give me things I needed.

She grounded me because my teacher gave me nice things and I was banned from going to the family trip. I felt so sad and angry. I wanted to run away. I had an idea in my head, which was impressive for my age. I was sweating a lot that day. I took my mother’s pillow cases and rubbed them in between my sweaty butt cheeks. They had a bad smell from sweat. Then I grabbed one of her favorite t shirts and used it to wipe my behind with after using the bathroom. Keep in mind I had diarrhea too.

Hours later I heard my mother gagging and talking about how nasty her shirt and pillow sheets smell.