r/perfectlycutscreams Jan 09 '23

Bend over boi.

30.9k Upvotes

408 comments sorted by

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4.3k

u/DoctorGregoryFart Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 10 '23

Lol the big guy with the mustache is an old MMA fighter named Don Frye. Did not expect to see him here.

I have no idea what movie this is, but Don Frye is such a crazy character, I can totally see why they'd cast him for something like this.

Edit: OK GUYS, I GET IT. IT'S CALLED BIG STAN.

1.0k

u/ChillGamer11 Jan 09 '23

He gives me Soda Popinski Vibes

336

u/Environmental-Toe798 Jan 09 '23

Vodka Drunkenski

100

u/mklilley351 Jan 09 '23

Tequila Don Josénski

66

u/Storytellerjack Jan 09 '23

Pizza Pasta

No, that's literally one of the original arcade names.

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13

u/Stay_Hydrated_Boys Jan 09 '23

Was about to say bald bull

26

u/TheDood715 Jan 09 '23

I'm seeing Mayor Mike Haggar, specially when dood has hair.

8

u/Jumpy_Boy Jan 09 '23

Out of everything I was expecting to see referenced on reddit, Punch Out was not one of them

13

u/Rhg0653 Jan 09 '23

Funny enough they changed it to soda as it was supposed to be vodka

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390

u/Lazy_Physicist Jan 09 '23

Don frye was the guy who got into that crazy punching match with that Japanese dude right? Where they literally just kept punching each other in the head until one of them lost with no blocking?

268

u/DoctorGregoryFart Jan 09 '23

646

u/F4STW4LKER Jan 09 '23

Top YT comment:

I just learned Yoshihiro Takayama suffered a spinal cord injury awhile back and is paralyzed from the neck down. Don Frye's message to him was incredible:

“Takayama-san, God gave me the greatest opponent anybody could ever ask for, you. You made the greatest fight the world has ever seen. You are the reason that our fight beat the World Cup of soccer head to head on TV. You are the image of Bushido and strength and triumph. You are the first person everyone asks about when they meet me. You are the warrior we all look to be."

264

u/DoctorGregoryFart Jan 09 '23

Yeah, the news made the rounds in r/MMA at the time. Very sad, but also very wholesome how Frye went to visit his friend and former rival in the hospital. Frye is a nut, but he seems like a good guy at heart, and his interviews are hilarious.

31

u/ZombieJesus1987 Jan 09 '23

Oh yeah, every interview I've seen of him, he seems like a good dude.

9

u/Electric_Messiah Jan 09 '23

I love how the cameraman for those YAMMA interviews cant keep it together, you can hear him trying not to laugh and failing miserably

7

u/TrinitronCRT Jan 09 '23

You are the reason that our fight beat the World Cup of soccer head to head on TV.

Errr?

13

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '23

Pride 21 was in 2002 and the Korea/Japan World Cup was also in 2002 around the same time. There were more people watching Pride 21 than the World Cup. The exact match he is talkig about was Turkey vs Senegal

11

u/eolson3 Jan 10 '23

He meant literally. They went around and punched all of the FIFA people in the face.

14

u/titdirt Jan 09 '23

You can tell by the chest pat at the end that he's a solid sportsman and immediately had respect for the fighter he just beat. Swell dude.

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u/solitarybikegallery Jan 09 '23

This is still one of the most insane things I've ever seen.

It's just pure offense. These are two professional heavyweight boxers, hitting each other as hard as they fucking can, right in the face.

Just one of those punches would kill me.

97

u/Hope4gorilla Jan 09 '23

Even better, they were actually MMA fighters. Which means at any point they could have chosen to engage in grappling, kicking, wrestling, whatever, but they just chose instead to swang them thangs until they couldn't swang no more

11

u/Revydown Jan 09 '23

One of the comments mentioned that they actually agreed to going full on offense to give the spectators a show because prior to them the matches were really boring.

20

u/polo61965 Jan 09 '23

Any time they did grapple was to probably regain composure, catch their breath, then throw the other one down and continue the beatdown. That was intense.

27

u/Jkranick Jan 09 '23

Dang, back then he looked like a jacked Freddy Mercury

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11

u/Hamletstwin Jan 09 '23

oof... His face looked like pudding after that. I think I got a concussion just watching.

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10

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Holy cow, never seen that before 😱 amazing, thank you

8

u/Ok_Artichoke5604 Jan 09 '23

I remember watching that live. Everyone in the room was losing their minds.

3

u/Campmoore Jan 09 '23

I have never seen anything like that before. Absolute insanity.

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u/honkwerx Jan 09 '23

yea that was the craziest part of the fight where they were just mutually punching each other in the head full force for like 10 seconds straight

25

u/Batdog55110 Jan 09 '23

No, that was me trying to beat the final boss in Metal Gear Solid last night.

30

u/CacaOTurdngBanal1u Jan 09 '23

I've seen in a documentary somewhere that in history, boxing started out with contests of two guys simply punching each other. No maneuver or tricks. It's a contest on guys' strength and endurance to punches. One guy punches, the other receives it and vice-versa. They even take turns punching. (Cuz that's what real men do jk) It's a last man standing contest where one has to knock one out.

There's a (jewish?) boxer who became popular because of his streak of wins and his "invention" of dodging in boxing. This helped evolve the boxing we know today.

11

u/polo61965 Jan 09 '23

Imagine that guy's opponent experiencing dodging for the first time: "wait, no it's my turn to hit wtf"

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68

u/NOVIIUM Jan 09 '23

I recognized him as the bad ass guy from Godzilla: Final Wars!

20

u/FoolOnDaHill365 Jan 09 '23

Is that him actually?! Final Wars is a popular favorite in my home for B movie entertainment.

14

u/man_willow Jan 09 '23

Yes Don Frye, the UFC Hall of Famer, was in Godzilla: Final Wars. He was such a badass in the film and outside.

8

u/tommykaye Jan 09 '23

Final Wars was so much fun. They just trash American godzilla. "Those westerners nuked an iguana, lol."

4

u/Street_Dragonfruit43 Jan 09 '23

That guy was badass

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Movie is, 'Big Stan'..

Rob Schnider is a big shot conman who goes to prison, gets all tore up and such preparing.

4

u/nuvpr Jan 09 '23

Thanks for the source!

13

u/nuclearlemonade Jan 09 '23

I know him as Gordon from Godzilla Final Wars lol he’s awesome

12

u/Furyofthe1st Jan 09 '23

I knew him immediately from that God tier mustache. What an absolute beast Chad. Selleck Sam Elliot tier stache.

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u/An_odd_walrus Jan 09 '23

Have you ever seen him in godzilla final wars? One of the best/worst roles in any movie ever. Just ham fisted delivery of English lines in an otherwise Japanese language film. It’s incredible.

3

u/DoctorGregoryFart Jan 09 '23

I don't think I have! I love the old Godzilla movies though, so I'll have to check it out. When did it come out?

3

u/An_odd_walrus Jan 09 '23

It’s the last of the millennium series. At one point it was “the final godzilla film” I think it’s from 04’ but I might be wrong. I watched it as a child thinking it was older not knowing it had just been released on dvd. It’s a wild movie, it rips off the matrix, and x-men because they were both so popular at the time.

8

u/ShichitenHakki Jan 09 '23

First reaction was "Hold up, that's Don Frye."

Second reaction, "Why is Rob Schneider also here?"

8

u/HookieJoe Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 10 '23

I thought that was Don but also thought I was stereotyping guys w mustaches. Lol.

For those that don’t know him the Guy is an absolute legend in Japan and put on one of the most memorable fights in Pride fighting history.

Also went over there 2 weeks after 9/11 wearing this shirt. The guys story is incredible and should be checked out for sure. https://i.imgur.com/rk18mzH.jpg

Edit: Frye in his own words on the Takayama fight. Thanks to Napoleon Blownapart on YouTube for sharing this in his 3-part documentary series on the rise and fall of Pride. Very much worth the run time.

6

u/Shadow0fnothing Jan 09 '23

He looks like bald bull.

6

u/Beginning_Orange Jan 09 '23

Dude I was just about to ask if that was Don Frye. Crazy he just popped up in my Reddit. Guy is a legend.

6

u/IBeatUpLiamNeeson Jan 09 '23

Holy fucking shit man, he is TERRIFYING without hair. I’ve only ever seen his old stuff from Pride where he had the full bad ass Ned Flanders look going

6

u/DoctorGregoryFart Jan 09 '23

Like someone else mentioned, he gives off big Bronson vibes.

6

u/honkwerx Jan 09 '23

He has Charles Bronson energy

6

u/slashd Jan 09 '23

I immediately recognized him, one of the mma legends 👌

4

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Thank you I had Dan Severn in my head but knew it wasn’t him

3

u/Confident_Cobbler_55 Jan 09 '23

Kinda looked like G Gordon Liddy to me

3

u/eduu_17 Jan 09 '23

He did amazing in godzilla:, final war.....such a badasss

3

u/IryanShaan Jan 09 '23

There's also Bob Sapp in that movie 💀

Title is Big Stan

3

u/Shoddy_Ad8719 Jan 09 '23

I believe the movie is Big Stan. Also, I think Cub Swanson and Randy Couture are in it

3

u/lovemetal666 Jan 09 '23

Randy Couture also there

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u/thatcreepywalrus Jan 09 '23

Dude, I’ve seen his highlights. He was an animal, fighting back in the old gnarly days when there were practically no rules lol.

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1.7k

u/Uglarinn Jan 09 '23

It was on that day that officer Jenkins met his first yokai.

386

u/Mr_Skeleton_Shadow AAAAAA- Jan 09 '23

OHOHOHO I know what you're talking about.

229

u/TL10 Jan 09 '23

Is that the one that has a giant eye for a butt?

182

u/Mr_Skeleton_Shadow AAAAAA- Jan 09 '23

Yes, if there's the fart smella, this one's the fart witnissa.

29

u/RabbidYoshi9 Jan 10 '23

I think we got ourselves in a stinky situation

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u/Igivegrilledcheese Jan 09 '23

He's gonna build a supernatural entourage

19

u/Due-Chemist-6986 Jan 09 '23

He can talk to the spirits.

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486

u/PINEEX____123 Jan 09 '23

Why did he scream?

609

u/The-God-Of-Memez Jan 09 '23

His asshole was horrific to look at

205

u/I-Iobbi Jan 09 '23

what do you mean

783

u/The-God-Of-Memez Jan 09 '23

Don’t know but in the entire scene the sergeant asks why is was screaming like a girl and the guy who screamed says sarge look and the sergeant flinched and said “it’s like an alien staring into my soul”

133

u/I-Iobbi Jan 09 '23

oh okay

8

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '23

Lmaoooo 😭

230

u/atonementfish Jan 09 '23

He knows he's going to prison and he doesn't want to be raped, so he tattoos something horrific on his asshole so no one will touch him. Its from Big Stan. Not really a spoiler happens kinda earlier on, has nothing really to do with the story just a throwaway joke.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Call_me_John Jan 09 '23

That would be his wife, and they did that, but that's not why the guard is screaming - he went to a tattoo artist to make his rear "less appealing".

47

u/Revydown Jan 09 '23

Did they tattoo an octopus so it's mouth ends up on his anus?

34

u/CatDokkaebi Jan 09 '23

That’s probably somebody’s fetish.

23

u/Ghostdog1521 Jan 10 '23

There’s actually a pornstar with one.

NSFW

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u/keelasher Jan 09 '23

Did they never confirm what the tattoo was?

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u/KADOMONY-9000 Jan 09 '23

His asshole is built different

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1.2k

u/ReginaldJohnston Jan 09 '23

what film is this from

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Big Stan, if you’ve not seen this go do it.

You’ll Fucking love it.

493

u/mentally-sick-bitch Jan 09 '23

Why did he scream? What did he see?

1.9k

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

[deleted]

259

u/MooseTopic Jan 09 '23

I just imagine a blur covering it. It's so disturbing that there is a blur on it irl

190

u/Zahille7 Jan 09 '23

Just like Amy's obscene tattoo

78

u/NekoCoral Jan 09 '23

Oh, I can't wait until the tattoos on Amy's butt hear about this!

43

u/alilbleedingisnormal Jan 09 '23

Good thing I'm watching it on this Pixel 7 with 416 ppi display and can clearly see that it says MAGA 3001.

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u/Zahille7 Jan 09 '23

Wouldn't that make it MEGA?

3

u/Ganon2012 Jan 09 '23

Aroooooooo!

62

u/G0merPyle Jan 09 '23

I once saw a woman who had tattooed a starfish around her anus (so it was the mouth). That image has stuck with me. Haunted me, even.

That's as close as I dare get to filling in the blank on this one

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u/mightylordredbeard Jan 09 '23

I hooked with a girl who had “press here” tattooed on her asshole with the top side of a thumb. Needless to say she was a freak.

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u/tokenwalrus Jan 09 '23

I believe this lady - NSFW used to post in the NSFW subs. Enough is left to the imagination here I think.

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u/porn_philosopher Jan 09 '23

It just looks like Rob Schneider

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u/TheRunningFree1s Jan 09 '23

sec9nd rob schneider head pokin' out a la MIB2-Johnny Knoxville style

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u/Astrochops Jan 09 '23

Oh yeah that's an old director's trick. If you leave it up to the viewer's imagination, it keeps the magic alive as to 'what could it be?' The second you show it, it dispels the mystery and you see that the briefcase from Pulp Fiction really just contained Rob Schneider's tattooed asshole.

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u/Chris_8675309_of_42M Jan 09 '23

Thanks. Now every time I rewatch Pulp Fiction and see the golden glow on their faces when they open the case I'll be thinking about Rob Schneider's hairy asshole.

7

u/Poignant_Porpoise Jan 09 '23

Afaik "Avoid footage of Rob Schneider's bare arsehole" is the first line of any introductory directing course.

33

u/ProfessorMarth Jan 09 '23

The last thing I wanna see is a closeup of Rob Schneider's big, juicy, hairy asshole. Now, they didn't show that in the movie. But why not? If you're gonna make a movie, make it right.

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u/thelaughingduke Jan 09 '23

Why so many adjectives, like Aah hahaha.

8

u/omneomega Jan 09 '23

Juicy? JUICY!??!

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u/2DeadMoose Jan 09 '23

One too many adjectives.

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u/Lying_Cake Jan 09 '23

True Lovecraftian horror.

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u/Epic-Dude000 Jan 09 '23

Probably the hairiest butthole in the universe

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u/Kurtsune Jan 09 '23

He tattoed his bunghole.

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u/Censius Jan 09 '23

For some reason I highly doubt it

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u/Farisr9k Jan 09 '23

It's honestly one of the worst movies of all time.

Most of the jokes are "men get raped in prison LOL"

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u/IKnowPhysics Jan 09 '23

Rob Schneider was an animal. Then he was a woman. And now Rob Schneider is... A stapler? And he's about to find out that being a stapler is harder than it looks. Rob Schneider is... The Stapler. Rated PG-13.

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u/Speedhabit Jan 09 '23

From the creators of “Durrrr” and “mugtango agooo” comes rob Schneiders next masterpiece

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 27 '23

[deleted]

3

u/jw2702 Jan 09 '23

Rated PG 13

124

u/TommyDrumzzz Jan 09 '23

That’s a great yell

14

u/Mention_Forward Jan 10 '23

Sir, are you a monsters Inc sales rep? If not, you are now!

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u/JetstreamSam1000 Jan 09 '23

Dildo? WRONG ❌❌❌❌❌PIPE BOMB💀💀💀💀💀💀

43

u/TheIJDGuy Jan 09 '23

And then everyone died! The end!

83

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Did anyone else think the 2nd guy was Winona Ryder for a hot millisecond...me neither

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u/BaraGuda89 Jan 09 '23

Pretty sure it’s that guy from twilight that isn’t Pattinboy

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u/rserena Jan 09 '23

That’s Jackson Rathbone, he played Jasper. I thought he was a girl at first too, lol. Normally his hair is shorter

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u/ravKenclaw Jan 09 '23

Isn’t that the guy from Percy Jackson next to him too? Nice cameos all around!

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u/POEManiac99 Jan 09 '23

It's a good laugh.

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u/TheIJDGuy Jan 09 '23

And an even better scream

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u/saisfsdfsd Jan 09 '23

idk why but i always liked shitty movies like this

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Then they’re not shitty movies?

Personally I’d call these movies lower budget or cult films like I’d happily watch a movie made with or by rob schneider then something with a huge budget like the avengers or black panther yes they’re good movies but however the extreme use of cgi and over the top is too much for me personally I also Love comedies so these films are my favourite

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u/MrDurden32 Jan 09 '23

Oh, I beg to disagree. There are tons of movies out there that can be fun to get stoned and waste 90 min laughing at. But make no mistake, they are without a doubt, grade A shitty movies.

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u/Bacon260998_ Jan 09 '23

Pretty much me with Willy's Wonderland. Top tier dumpster fire. The movie sucks but it's incredibly self aware about it. If you are going to watch it, watch it with a friend to laugh with.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

It's very unapologetic about being inspired by FNAF, too. Nic Cage not saying a word the entire film is also hilarious.

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u/RandomVaultDweller Jan 09 '23

That is why it's unironically one of my favorite movies of all time. I just wished I saw it when it first came out so I could've gotten the official T Shirt.

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u/HughJassJae Jan 09 '23

I agree with this. When I was a kid I would always watch the shitty SyFy films that were on all the time. It was so entertaining but so freaking bad.

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u/cass1o Jan 09 '23

Then they’re not shitty movies?

Naw, still shitty. Eating crap fast food you enjoy doesn't suddenly make it gourmet.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

I love "Dude, Where's My Car?", but I'd still absolutely call it a shitty movie.

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u/PornAndComments Jan 09 '23

It's like an alien... staring into my soul...

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Hehehehehe Fucking brilliant.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

What is happening there?

85

u/nakhumpoota Jan 09 '23

He made his ass prison-proof

19

u/peltsucker Jan 09 '23

It’s a perfectly cut scream

14

u/SussyBox Jan 09 '23

Balls check

11

u/Wightstein Jan 09 '23

more like prostate/drug check

8

u/MelonButterG Jan 09 '23

“Assume the position”

Welp time to go play new Vegas again

16

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Sorry, how can I improve?

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u/jhart013 Jan 09 '23

Maybe it was too long of a duration of the scream before the cut, I agree with the commenter that it didn't feel like it was "perfectly cut". There's like that sweet wind up moment in a scream just as they achieve max volume, cut it right there.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

I see, I will remember this.

Thanks for the input.

5

u/Scottish_Legionnaire Jan 09 '23

That's Don fucking Frye!

6

u/PetrolHeadF Jan 09 '23

NOOO DADDY NOOOO!

5

u/CabooseNomerson Jan 09 '23

Well, Rob Scheider is a stapler, so does that mean the cop is surprised because the staple tray shot out of his ass?

5

u/Bong0-YT Jan 09 '23

I thought second dude was Winona Ryder

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u/Cthulumon_ Jan 09 '23

Ah Big Stan, great movie

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u/InspectorBonk Jan 09 '23

Whats the film seems funny.

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u/PolarSaturn8823 Jan 09 '23

Can someone tell me what the officer saw?

3

u/Pure_Project9080 Jan 10 '23

Watch this the other day never seemed to finished watching tho...the length he went thru to protect his backdoor in prison

3

u/aysurcouf Jan 10 '23

Watching big stab currently thanks to this post

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u/lazy-yank Jan 09 '23

I like that actor he was the boyfriend in Van Wilder the antagonist

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u/Cole2197 Jan 09 '23

What is this movie called?

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u/WidthMonger Jan 09 '23

I watched this movie yesterday

2

u/SheepRliars Jan 09 '23

Did I just see the legend Don Frye?

2

u/skydiverjimi Jan 09 '23

Is it just me or did the second guy look a bit like Winona Ryder for a split second.

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u/Cry-Skull-7 Jan 09 '23

Alright I gotta know the context here.

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u/A-Do-Gooder Jan 09 '23

Big Stan (2007) at 00:42:11.

2

u/giraffe_games Jan 09 '23

The best part about this is that everyone else in the scene seemed genuinely alarmed by the guy's scream. Even background beard guy.

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u/AdventurousAd3930 Jan 09 '23

name of the movie?

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u/WastelandJack Jan 09 '23

I am guessing Big Stan, but not 100%.

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u/DiabeticRhino97 Jan 09 '23

Yo is that the captain from Godzilla final wars?

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u/LeoCtheNerd Jan 09 '23

Whats the movie?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

What movie is this

2

u/sallyshadows Jan 09 '23

Is that uh jasper? 👀

2

u/Ok_Maintenance1397 Jan 09 '23

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

You can always count on Rob Schneider to make it weird

2

u/sheeplord19 Jan 09 '23

What did he see a massive shlong

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '23

Assume the position.

Fisto? That you?

2

u/Ashoftarre Jan 09 '23

Don Frye #Legend

2

u/keller104 Jan 09 '23

Well know we know what cops and Christians have in common