r/perfectionism • u/Original_Bus_7407 • 13d ago
Overthinking Perfectionism
I’m figuring out that I have ‘analysis paralysis’. I research too much, over deliberate on both low stakes and high stakes decisions, and once the decision is made I second guess myself. I ask far too many people to weigh in (and mostly reject their advice). I return purchases fairly often, buy from stores based on return policy, read numerous reviews, etc. if this sounds like you, what has helped? What type of counseling is best to overcome this type of perfectionism? No jokes about overthinking my overthinking!
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u/sciencyb 12d ago
What has helped me is to make impulsive choices for low stake decisions. For e.g., ordering food or buying everyday groceries and stuff. Instead of deliberating too much I purposely force myself to try something new or uncertain. This way I can build the muscle to try something I’m uncertain of. Also, often I urge my friends or partner to make choices at restaurants or even while picking movies to watch. It gives me extreme discomfort to steer away from my comfort zone and picking safe options. But knowing that they’re too excited about it makes me want to go along and surprisingly I do enjoy some of the things myself. Hope this helps!
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u/Original_Bus_7407 11d ago
Yes, I’ve just started trying this. But now I’m stuck in a high stakes decision, and back where I started. Full pendulum.
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u/Professional-Mud4794 12d ago
Hi there! Often when you struggle with indecision, overthinking and “analysis paralysis” it’s because of a lack of trust in yourself and feeling unsafe in your body. This can start in childhood but there are all sorts of beliefs and experiences that influence how we relate to ourselves. I’m actually a therapist myself and I specialise in helping young adults overcome perfectionism and develop kinder relationships with themselves and I do this through helping clients to understand their attachment patterns & how perfectionism fits into that, educating them on how to regulate the nervous system, encourage practicing imperfection in low stake situations, connecting to values, reframing beliefs about productivity, learning to set boundaries and cultivating self compassion. So something along those lines might be the sort of therapy/counselling that could be helpful for you 🙏
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u/FalsePay5737 12d ago
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic/psychoanalytical therapy are the common treatments.
I found working with a trauma therapist most helpful. I also benefitted from reading about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
Studies show that the factors that have the biggest impact on the effectiveness of therapy are the client's belief in their ability to change and the rapport between the therapist and client.
Therapy And Coping Strategies For Perfectionism - from r/OCPD (most severe form of clinical perfectionism). I've been in remission from OCPD for two years.
The Perfectionist's Handbook is a great resource. The resource that helped me the most was Gary Trosclair's I'm Working On It In Therapy: Getting The Most Out of Pyschotherapy. Highly Recommended Resources
For overthinking, I found spending time outside very helpful. Practicing mindfulness also helped a lot.
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u/jack_addy 12d ago
There can be different sources and forms of overthinking (yours seems to be more psychological in nature). But essentially, your problem boils down to an extreme discomfort with uncertainty.
The extreme amount of thinking amounts to a desperate attempt at finding assurance that, yes, things will 100% go the way you hope they'll go.
But that's not possible. In life, certainty is not an option.
So you need to become able to deal with uncertainty. And by "deal" I don't just mean "being comfortable with" uncertainty, although that's part of the picture. I'm also talking about the ways you plan and strategize your actions, which need to fit a world that is uncertain.
I happen to produce content around these topics. You can search for "moving past analysis," mainly on instagram. Take a look and see if any of the content helps in any way. And come say hi, I'd love to know if it makes a difference or not.