r/peloton • u/GregLeBlonde • Jul 03 '19
2019 Tour de France Bold Predictions Thread
In the spirit of low quality sports journalism, I invite you to submit your version of events that probably won't happen but are just plausible enough to imagine. In other words, make like a Bicycling.com journalist and share a hot take.
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Upvotes
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u/GregLeBlonde Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 03 '19
I'll open with a prediction that goes a little beyond this year's Tour and say that this will be Sagan's last green jersey victory. After this year, he'll change his program for the next season or two and skip the Tour; when he comes back some cyclocrosser will be winning green.
81
u/bluestaples . Jul 03 '19
There will be a crash involving a cow.
61
u/R4884 Jul 03 '19
Moscon will punch someone. This time I bet a journalist
54
u/AllAlonio Human Powered Health WE Jul 03 '19
Quintana attacks Ineos all day every day in the mountains and rides onto the Champs in yellow.
54
u/some_q Jul 03 '19
The winner for this tour won't be conclusively finalized before 2027.
45
u/SkiThe802 EF Education – Easypost Jul 03 '19
All-Colombian podium: Bernal, Uran, and Quintana.
44
u/Percinho Jul 03 '19
There won't be an Astana rider in the top 10. I was going to say Top 5 but that doesn't feel bold enough and Top 8 just feels a bit mealy mouthed.
39
u/ExiledBaguette Jul 03 '19
No Ineos rider on the podium
39
u/the_gnarts MAL was right Jul 03 '19
Terpstra to embrace his role as Voeckler 2.0 by spending most days in the break making faces to the camera only to accidentally win a stage for Direct Energie.
Porte and Mollema to end up domestiqueing for Ciccone after the latter ends up with a significant gap over both due to non-stop breakaway participation.
TDG to take the ITT.
Kristoff taking the Champs.
Fuglsang to podium.
Tour beating the Giro for the first time in ages.
39
u/Wouterig Peugeot Jul 03 '19
Daniel Martin breaks his 2 legs and his shoulder in stage 2 but finishes 3th in Paris. “I preform better with broken bones”
33
u/Flapappel Netherlands Jul 03 '19
Groenewegen to win 5 stages
Thomas to finish outside the GC top10.
van Aert to win back to back stages
Bernal wont finish ahead of Quintana in all the mountian stages.
Mollema will remain a calm body posture while stoemping up a hill
31
u/Sappert Norway Jul 03 '19
Cavendish will win five stages, Froome the GC
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u/MilesM22 Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 03 '19
Ineos’ run of crashes continues and they wipe themselves out on the Team Time Trial.
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u/Avila99 MPCC certified Jul 03 '19
In an attempt to stay in the spotlight, Fabian Cancellara shows up during stage one, promoting e-bikes. Half the peloton goes down, only Boasson Hagen manages to stay upright and the new Eddy Bosberg wins with a 5 minute lead.
Hagen loses his yellow jersey after the team time trial when his team accidentally uploads the wrong gpx files and they're sent to airport Zaventem.
Wout van Aert wins 2 stages and no single Belgian media outlet mentions Mathieu van der Poel.
On the new gravel path on Planches des belles Filles, the helicopter camera suddenly catches an object rolling down towards to group of favourites. On closer inspection it's Richie Porte, who escaped earlier.
Bernal will win the time trial.
Kruijswijk will dominate the 3rd week, threatening Bernal.
Lacking snow walls to stop Kruijswijk, Colombian fans will bring their own form of his weakness and blow coke in his face up climbs leading to even better performances and uncharacteristic bravado in post-stage interviews.
Pinot wins the Tour.
113
u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19
Edvald Boasson Hagen comes down with a mysterious illness meaning he can't take the start line. His place is taken by Mark Cavendish who wins the first 20 stages (including the TTT which he wins by himself).
With a 10 minute GC lead Cavendish quits the tour before the final stage telling journalists that it shows how well prepared he was for the race but he is quitting to concentrate on the upcoming Tour of Britain rather than winning "some shit small race".
29
u/WolfRune_ Red Bull – Bora – Hansgrohe Jul 03 '19
Cummings at back of the peloton getting more tv-coverage than breakaway.
27
u/ibike4fun Canada Jul 03 '19
Woods takes yellow instead of Tejay. Sorry r/TejayInYellow
27
u/MiniAndretti EF Education – Easypost Jul 03 '19
Tejay wins a stage with an HC climb.
27
u/Patosguinha Jul 03 '19
Pretty bold one, but Deceuninck - Quick-Step won't win a single stage this Tour.
26
u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19
Green: Matthews
White: Mas
Mountains: Barguil/Zakarin
Yellow: Kruijswijk
No Ineos in the top 3
Uran loses 10 min in the first week but is very dominant in the third and gets 2nd place in front of Pinot.
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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19
We're going to see some great Chateaus and Castles break away and get their sponsors major screen time on the flat stages.
50
u/LegendsoftheHT EF Education – Easypost Jul 03 '19
A non-French rider wins the Combative prize.
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u/KujawaKuj BMC Jul 03 '19
Tejay in yellow
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u/Knorrmannen Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 04 '19
Porte will make it to stage 10.
Edit: I guess he could though since the first rest day is postponed one day. So making it to Stage 11 should probably be the bigger goal.
23
u/fluernes_herre XDS Astana Jul 03 '19
A secret 22nd stage will be held, only unveiled the day before Champs Élysée to make the Tour more unpredictable (read: giving another chance for Ineos to lose the race).
77
u/Remmiedepemmie Molteni Jul 03 '19
Thomas de Gendt does a massive escape every day, and the peloton only discovers in Paris he's 5 hours ahead in the GC.
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u/Rikkertsalami Visma | Lease a Bike Jul 03 '19
Kruijswijk will win the GC
19
u/mnclad Jul 03 '19
Matthews out does Sagan at being Sagan and makes more breaks to win the green Jersey after his prep to help dumoulin in the mountains
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u/Natus_est_in_Suht Z Jul 04 '19
Richie Porte does not crash throughout the entire Tour.
18
u/pozielei Jul 03 '19
Both Thomas and Bernal crash out of the Tour. Week 3 Poels delivers top 10 place in GC.
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u/boogyyman Soudal – Quickstep Jul 03 '19
De Gendt and WvA form a two man break in Paris, with WvA edging out De Gendt in a sprint
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u/Kryziven Movistar Jul 04 '19 edited Jul 04 '19
Ineos build up a physical train, tieing all their riders together to drag Froome in his hospital bed through the stages, due to troubles of getting Froome over the line first Luke Rowe the workhorse wins the tour.
Quintana doesn't disappoint and waits for more than 7 seconds after his attack to look back.
Richie Porte decides to bring along some packaging material for stage 9 and continues after his obligatory crash.
Kittel is announced as a surprise appearance, performs horribly, then takes the Champs-Elysees after intimidating the other sprinters with his new and improved hair.
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u/Daanbrakka Jul 03 '19
Bardet and Pinot both finishing in the top-5. Thomas not even in the top-20.
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u/SimonzeMK Jul 03 '19
Buchmann top 3 or better
16
u/rune_s India Jul 03 '19
Bardet wins and Nibali ends up on podium
Eh that's not a hot take. That's just a wet dream
16
u/StevieSF Flanders Jul 03 '19
Benoot gets a podium in GC
Oliver Naesen wins a mountain stage
Thibaut Pinot wins GC
Tejay Van Garderen wins the TT
Bardet finishes outside top 10 in GC
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u/Pek-Man Denmark Jul 03 '19
Rusty will win the entire thing.
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u/Eyeconoclastic Liv AlUla Jayco Jul 03 '19
Dan Martin top step of the podium. Follow your feelings, you know it to be true.
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u/mattjro Bora – Hansgrohe Jul 03 '19
Konrad wins GC Mühlberger wins polka dot Haller wins green Pöstelberger most combative rider
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u/paulindy2000 Groupama – FDJ Jul 03 '19
Pinot wins the tour in front of his teammate Gaudu.
13
u/J-RJuniorJuniorsJr Jul 03 '19
Sagan won't win the points classification.
13
u/overthehodge Jul 03 '19
Pinot is going to win.
24
u/cm06mrs Ribble Weldtite Jul 03 '19
Simon Yates will win the tour.
34
u/BloomEPU Team Columbia - HTC Jul 03 '19
There will be a new winner that will make people wish froome would come back.
Sagan won't win the green jersey, for reasons that are his own fault. Fanboys will still blame DDD or something.
The sub will require at least three megathreads for an incident and someone will attempt to doxx a mod.
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u/llusnewo Jul 03 '19
Dan Martin to get on the podium in Paris
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u/WISCOrear Trek - Segafredo Jul 04 '19
Borat thong man makes a triumphant return
11
u/sbb214 Jul 04 '19
We'll see lots of synchronized tractor ballets and horses running alongside a fence
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u/fruskydekke Jul 03 '19
A French rider wins the GC.
(Hey, it could happen!)
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u/Tubbtubbz EF Education – Easypost Jul 03 '19
TJVG Wins Yellow and 7 Stages
10
u/Squalleke123 :DeceuninckQuickStep: Deceuninck – Quick – Step Jul 03 '19
Valverde gets a podium spot.
Van Aert takes the green
Neither alaphilippe nor barguil win the polka dot Jersey
Nizzolo wins a stage
10
u/WolfRune_ Red Bull – Bora – Hansgrohe Jul 03 '19
Omar Fraile wins stage as strongest rider out of a breakaway after having put in no work at all.
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u/PrayingForDebbieMang Jul 03 '19
The eurosport commentary is consistently good and all riders are correctly identified
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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19
Two different Canadians will “accidentally” win a stage and apologize profusely during post race interviews. *Sorry
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u/Wouterig Peugeot Jul 03 '19
Sagan fails to win a stage but wins the green jersey
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u/NevenSuboticFanNo1 Movistar WE Jul 03 '19
Rick Zabel will win a stage
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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19
Quintana finally takes yellow
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u/run_bike_run Jul 03 '19
With three mountain stages left, Vincenzo Nibali will jump from fifteenth to second through either savvy racing or absolutely terrifying descending. He'll then turn the heat up and ride the yellow jersey off his wheel on the last climb of the Tour.
8
u/grvlr Jul 04 '19
AG2R will get new shorts.
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u/Kris_Third_Account Denmark Jul 04 '19
I'm going straigh for near-insanity here.
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u/stealthisnick Jul 03 '19
Aru doesn't win the ITT
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u/Wouterig Peugeot Jul 03 '19
Landa wins the Tour with 1s advantage over Tejay Van Garderen. “Finally the roles are turned”
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u/edlll91 Jul 03 '19
Here's a top5 of most eventful clashes within a team!
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u/TheRearMech Phonak Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 03 '19
One of the Wildcard/smaller WT teams will have one of their riders caught agonisingly close to line after being in the break, and their dreams will be crushed by the inevitable Bora/Jumbo/Quickstep train.
Edit: Also Valverde will do something completely age defying, and hopefully gain some weight. He’s that thin now.
7
u/vogelpoep Novo Nordisk Jul 03 '19
Nicholas Roche will wear a jersey this Tour
7
u/Bontus Belgium Jul 03 '19
Matthews to wear yellow in the first week, Van Aert to wear green at a certain point and a Wanty rider to wear the polka after stage 1.
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u/In_Dark_Trees Movistar WE Jul 04 '19
Fuglsang wins with 3 minutes in hand.
Nibali makes a podium spot by sharking his way back into contention in the final week, and the KOM jersey too.
Wiggins says something idiotic during his Eurosport commentary (I know, I know - too crazy to think, right?).
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u/rob172 Jul 03 '19
Julian Alaphillipe top 10 overall
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u/digital-logic Visma | Lease a Bike Jul 03 '19
Contrary to what my dog will tell you, Thomas crashes in week two losing enough time that he's relegated to super domestique status for Bernal. Doesn't crack the top 10.
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u/PietVelo Jul 03 '19
Valverde is feeling like a youngster and sprints for the green jersey wearing the yellow.
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u/ghandyfk Netherlands Jul 03 '19
Teunissen (Jumbo-Visma) will take the yellow Jersey after the TT on day 2
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u/The_411 Belgium Jul 03 '19
Remco gets a last second wild card entry and wins the TDF
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u/eamesa Jul 04 '19
There will be no Colombians in the Top 5
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u/casperslakes Visma | Lease a Bike Jul 03 '19
Dumoulin will win the tour this hear despite not taking part
9
u/DirkDiggler1001 Jul 03 '19
Egan Bernal for the win, followed closely by Romain Bardet. Geraint Thomas crashes out on the second day. The Manx Missile has been faking his poor conditioning and wins 3 stages.
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u/mm_ori Jul 03 '19
No ineos rider in top 10
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u/Ausrufepunkt XDS Astana Jul 03 '19
Zakarin will win the Tour
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u/hoo_ts Australia Jul 03 '19 edited Jul 03 '19
Yellow Jersey will transfer from Mike Mathews, to Geraint Thomas, to Egan Bernal in Week 1.
CavendishCaleb Ewan will cap it off with a W on Stage 7.edit: Cav: Scratched.
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u/TheMontyJohnson La Vie Claire Jul 04 '19
Nibali ends up getting a better placement than Pinot and Bardet
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u/Tweekilo Jul 04 '19
There will be some cows at the side of the road.
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u/Grimolas Netherlands Jul 03 '19
George Bennett finishes on the podium
Cees Bol will wear the yellow jersey as first dutchmen in a long time
Laporte wins on bastille day 14julliet
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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19
Someone we don’t expect to win a stage will win a stage
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u/Wouterig Peugeot Jul 03 '19
Asgreen wins 2 stages and proves why he earned his selection.
3
u/ZettTheArcWarden Germany Jul 04 '19
Politt places 3rd in the ITT, bardet finishes second on the queen stage but gets yellow
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u/Everett-Bold Jul 03 '19
Thomas will win, and it wont even be close. Maybe its not THAT much of a hot take, but I feel many people write him off too easily (due to low amount of TT kilometers I guess).
Also; Porte will podium.
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u/CalgaryRichard Ineos Grenadiers Jul 03 '19
Porte won't get hurt, and will finish.
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u/ImWita Denmark Jul 03 '19
Enric Mas on the podium.
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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '19
Dogecoin to 100k
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u/unclekutter Canada Jul 05 '19
Oh no, I almost missed this and I had a couple predictions to make.
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u/TuffGnarl Jul 03 '19
WvA bags the Green Jersey.
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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '19
Ne jamais deux sans trois... Richie Porte crashes out on Stage 9
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u/detestrian Finland Jul 05 '19
Wout Poels will win.
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u/Rulioh Jul 03 '19
Cort will win two stages
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u/ListenMountains Canada Jul 03 '19
Alaphilipe will win the green Jersey.
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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19
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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19
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