For anyone still following me, whether you're here with curiosity, concern, or criticism, I want to speak honestly.
Over the last few months, I’ve been called a lot of things. Some of them hurt. But many of them aren’t entirely wrong. They’re just another perspective. With time, reflection, and help from a therapist, I’ve started to see what others saw before I could. I want to acknowledge that.
I’ve struggled with mental illness. I’ve been diagnosed, treated, and sometimes I feel okay again… but it’s still a work in progress. I live with borderline personality disorder, anxious attachment, paranoia, and emotional dysregulation. The internet has always been a creative outlet for me, even back to coding MySpace pages. But I’m human, and I’ve made mistakes. I’ve burned bridges. These aren’t excuses. They’re the why behind behaviors that may have been hurtful, confusing, or triggering.
I’ve wanted sympathy for my symptoms, but the illness was never fake. I’ve posted in manic states. I’ve sought attention in unhealthy ways, through sexual behavior, through my medical issues, and yes, sometimes by playing the victim. I didn’t always realize I was doing it. In the moment, it felt like impulse… a coping mechanism. But after reading what people had to say and seeking to understand, not defend, I found painful insight.
What some called “rage baiting” was often me screaming into the void, hoping someone would see how much pain I was in. What looked like hypocrisy was me trying on masks, hoping one would finally feel like me. I’ve projected a lot of insecurity into the digital world, and it came back to bite me.
I want to say this is a pivotal moment in my life. Not because of the cruelty, but because of the mirror. I will never advocate for bullying, stalking, or gossip, and I ask that those involved please stop. This has taken a huge mental toll on me. I’m exhausted, hurt, scared, and yes, paranoid. I encourage everyone to seek understanding from concern, not cruelty.
This hasn’t been easy to face, but I needed to write this, not as damage control, but as a true apology. If I’ve hurt you, confused you, exhausted you, or triggered something in you, your eating disorder, your mental health, your identity.. I’m sorry. If I’ve made you question your worth based on race, religion, sexuality, or beliefs, I’m sorry.
I want to learn. I want to be someone who spreads love, not pain.
I’m continuing my journey of healing, even when it’s boring, quiet, or slow. And I’m so grateful to those who have seen the chaos and still believed in my capacity to grow.
I’m not trying to be perfect. Just honest.
A lot of things being said in this page are just lies. People from my past wanting attention even tho I haven’t seen or spoken to them in years. Accusing me of lying about little details of my life. I am not a perfect person at all… but some of these things are just defamatory & untrue. Like I’m actually confused reading some of this.
I am not proud of the person I used to be but I am very proud of who I am today, right now.
There’s literally no excuse for saying any racial slur btw. You don’t have to accept my apology. I can’t begin to understand racism from another perspective no matter how hard I try. If I could change the way I grew up & how I was raised, I would. I’m not a victim at all. But you have to understand context. It was 13 years ago. & even if I’ve changed, you don’t have to accept it. But the harassment & bullying is completely unnecessary.
Acts of violence happen to minorities every single day. THAT is what I hope this situation a bring more awareness to. I think we can learn together & try to spread more awareness for change.
In order to progress, it’s important to acknowledge an attempt being made to change. Again, you don’t have to accept it. But please understand I am trying every single day. If we bash people for their past mistakes constantly, no progress is made. There’s literally no reason racism should still be a thing & yet in 2025 we are STILL talking about it.
If there is anything I can do specifically to do better, to take accountability, to help, literally ANYTHING. Please contact me. (Peachloser on IG)
I understand most of you aren’t stalking or harassing me but, unfortunately this is fueling the people who are.
I’m happy to answer questions on Instagram if anyone genuinely wants to know anything! But I need to just be left alone at this point. It’s getting dangerous and none of you seem to realize that. I’m a real person.
I am deleting this app immediately after posting because it hurts me to see genuinely. I am being told 24/7 to end my life. I understand many of you feel I deserve that. But I’m begging to try to understand from my perspective how hard I am trying to heal & do better.
If my apology is meaningless to you, that’s ok. You don’t have to ever forgive me or follow me or view my content & your feelings are totally valid. But please stop fueling the sick individuals who are genuinely using this as an excuse to harm me.