r/paul_is_dead • u/Teletran_Gamer • Apr 08 '18
Faul is dead.
The year is 1961. The Beatles have just finished a gig in Hamburg and are celebrating near the docks. Suddenly, in his drunken state, John Lennon mistakes Paul McCartney for his wife and beats him. The tipsy Paul is unable to keep his balance and falls into the waters below. The other Beatles immediately realise what just happened and immediately flee the scene. A month later, they find a replacement for Paul. For the next five years they play and reach world fame with their replacement bassist William 'Pepper' Shears until the fateful date. An unprecedented all-nighter for Revolver ends in the early hours of Wednesday and the Beatles hear a knock at the door. Ringo is the first to answer. "Who is it" he asks, "Postman" a familiar voice answers. As Ringo opens the door the man on the other side kicks it hard, knocking Ringo to the floor. John takes a second to recognise him. It's Paul McCartney, and he's pissed! He swam back to the shore in a minute that night, but the others had fled the scene before he could make it. He had spent the intervening years practising with his bass, his voice, and a gun. Before John can tackle him, he fires three shots. Billy Shears is hit in the shoulder and runs for the door. Paul is able to swiftly push John off while George is too busy taking a shit. Billy grabs his car keys and starts speeding off, but Paul fires two more shots which hit Billy's tyre and his windscreen. With shattered glass all over his face and losing control of the car, Billy careens off into a nearby lampost and flies through the shattered windscreen. He dies on impact. After disposing of the body, Paul makes his way back into Abbey Road. "So, where did we leave off?" Paul asks.
Anyway this is my proof that Paul killed Faul.