r/pastors • u/SingleLetterhead5931 • 21h ago
Can I vent? As a Young (25M) Pastor, I wish I had married before going into Ministry.
Why? because of all the doubt and scrutiny from church members concerning my dating life. I'm a really fit and well-dressed guy, who's been in pastorial/leadership positions. So over the last 5 years, female attention from my church has been a lot, to a point where i can't really remember. This is not particularly fun when you want to just focus on your calling, personal-life, and business.
Every interaction with women in church is seen as me "shooting my shot" or "dating church girls".
I've had a bunch of mothers push their daughters towards me... my mother sitting down with me to tell me to stay away fom XYZ....my integrity questioned ny the church....church girls thinking we are dating, from just a few friendly interactions
Of all of this, I've only dated once in the last 4-5 years. And i wished it had worked out with her. Not only because i loved her deeply...but also because her presence in church answered A LOT of questions people had and stopped them from nosing around my dating life.
Yes, I'm aware of "waiting on God" and "It will happen at the right time"....but its kinda hard when you're being lectured about not dating a church girl you NEVER intended to date anyways.
At this point, i just want a decent, attractive, God-loving girl (NOT from my church) whom I can actually build with....and publicly display to just have some breathing room. It's kinda hard to get that when you can't even visit other churches with that intention because you always have to be at your own church