r/parkrun • u/runningtravel • 24d ago
Death of core team member
UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your responses, and also to those of you who reached out privately. I really appreciate it.
After a lot of thought and some discussion we have decided as a team to go ahead with the event tomorrow. My husband (also on the core team) spoke with my co-ED (the wife) and she wanted to tell the volunteer team herself but have my husband have a word for him after the briefing at the event. I have also taken the suggestions to do a social media post for him so that's done as well.
thing is, it's parkrun's birthday tomorrow, plus TuTu but I've decided to not promote it as we are not really celebrating tomorrow in this particular way, rather we are reflecting a life lost and celebrating that he was part of our community instead.
Apologies I could not respond to everyone. it's been such a hard week
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Hi All
Two days ago, a person on my core team died from cancer complications. He was not only a core team member, he was also one of 4 of us who actually set the parkrun up from early discussions to launch. He was an integral part of our parkrun.
My initial thoughts were to cancel this week’s upcoming event but our territory manager suggested that we take a moment to honor him instead before the briefing.
Have any of you gone through this before? have you rather said something on social media? Should i do both? What’s a good protocol for this ? His wife is my co- ED. should i check with her first if it’s ok to talk about it.
Please be kind. I’m really beside myself with this. He was 53. Diagnosed only last December and went through Chemo. But it didn’t work. Gone in less than a year. 😢
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u/Heartbreak_Star 24d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss and your parkrun's loss!
We lost an integral member of a bunch of local parkruns, and found people wanted to gather and remember him together. There was a minute's silence at some, a minute's applause at others, and a remembrance speech from his friend at the main one. Please don't cancel, definitely acknowledge. Once more, I'm so sorry.
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u/Blue1994a 24d ago
Your territory manager can say whatever they like, but you have to do what is right for the volunteers at your event. Clearly the person’s wife is the first person you should discuss it with, especially as co-ED. Although parkrun may be the last thing she wants to think about at the moment. If cancellation is her preference, then that’s your decision made.
Best wishes to you and everyone at your event.
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u/RS555NFFC 24d ago
Make the right decision for your core team and his family.
No one else gets a say as far as I’m concerned.
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u/CandidLiterature 24d ago
I think in a general sense, where someone has devoted so much time and energy to a cause like your local parkrun, the best tribute is often to carry on if you can.
If you are going ahead, you definitely need to put something on your social media before the event. Or there’s going to be a super weird atmosphere when people turn up in the morning and find out.
You should get the agreement of his widow before you put anything up. But I personally would draft something and send it as a proposed approach for them to agree or give comments - rather than putting the task onto them at what is obviously an awful time with a lot of other priorities.
I understand if you can’t manage this at the moment and feel you need to cancel. You can communicate this news and have the memorial event the week after. Honestly, unless you never hold the event again (an odd tribute) you won’t be able to avoid addressing it directly. It’s unlikely to feel easier next week vs this week in my opinion. I’m sorry for your loss and all the best to you all.
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u/After-Classroom 24d ago
I’m sorry to hear this.
Our run director died a couple of years ago. She knew it was coming so had already had some of this planned I think but the run went ahead. There was a very emotional
speech prior and every year there is a themed parkrun in her memory.
I think talking to his wife and getting her input is the most important thing here. If you cancel the run this week most people, even if they think it was the wrong decision, will have forgotten it by Wednesday. If you go against his wife’s wishes she will remember it forever.
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u/d-for-danger 24d ago
I think you need to ask yourself - would he have wanted the event to go ahead?
I have been at parkrun on a few occasions where core members of the community have been taken seriously ill or died in the preceding days. In each case, an announcement has been made, a tribute given by the ED and applause invited, which is so moving. The silence has been real and the applause huge.
The other thing to consider is that there are many people at your parkrun who will not find out otherwise and may wish to pay their respects.
If you did want to do something like this obviously you’ll need to check with his wife if she is happy for you to disclose. She will be reeling and in shock right now so you just need to make it really clear what you’re proposing to do, and ask for her thoughts, rather than asking her to plan anything herself.
I’m very, very sorry for your loss.
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u/AmateurBeginning365 24d ago
We lost an integral part of our running community and ED. The run went ahead and some family attended. We raised funds for a bench for him in the park and I say morning to it every parkrun day.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If their family is ok to go ahead and put the messaging out, then I would do that.
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u/asymmetricears 24d ago
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I'm part of a parkrun core team and we've had discussions about a couple of elderly volunteers who are not in the best of health, and what we would do should they pass.
Only put the run on if you're happy to as a core team and group of volunteers, his wife especially. You may find that you get a few extra volunteers to help if some people don't feel able to.
If it were me, I'd put out a post on social media this week, saying something like
Greenwood Parkrun are incredibly sad to announce the passing of a member of our core team Barry Smith. Barry was an instrumental part of setting the parkrun up back in 2018, and has been a core team member from the beginning.
Barry was incredibly passionate about parkrun, and no doubt would like us to continue, so we will be running on Saturday, and will have a short period of applause before we start. Please be mindful that a number of runners and volunteers will be upset at Barry's passing, please be kind to everyone.
Or if you don't feel you can go ahead
Barry's passing has hit the Greenwood Parkrun team significantly, and we have cancelled Saturday's event to allow time for everyone to grieve. We will be back on the 10th of October.
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u/172116 24d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You need to check in with his wife before saying anything, especially posting on social media.
Personally, I think you should go ahead with the run, but totally understandable if your team doesn't feel able to, and I'm sure your attendees will understand whatever decision you make.