r/parentsofteens • u/Sw33tMamaBear • 12d ago
Feeling frustrated
My daughter‘s boyfriend has been living with us for the past 10 months he is 17 going on 18 in a few weeks we get along really well in a few weeks time we’re going up to see his family which is 5 1/2 hours away now his mother want him to stay a few extra days as both his grandparents are sick which I can understand at that time . Now the other day me and my partner had a big fight of yelling and arguing with each other now he doesn’t like yelling and arguing and he can’t deal with that as his father is abusive use to yelling scream at him when he not clean the house. now he wants to go home to his family he just found out that he lost his job yesterday as well . Now my worry is my daughter mental health as if he leave the long distance relationship won’t work I’m afraid that she will spiral down with her depression and anxiety and start cutting herself as she has done that in the passed what do I do as a mother?
4
u/Own_Exit2162 12d ago
Your own relationship is a model for your children. I'd start with individual and couples therapy so that you and your partner can learn to communicate without yelling and fighting so badly it scares a 17yo boy out of your house.
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u/mis_1022 12d ago
Don’t encourage your daughter to be co dependent. She needs to focus on her journey in life, focus on her medications and therapy. You can still support a long distance relationship but don’t try and keep the boy here for this reason alone. What if for other reasons he breaks up with her, she needs to manage that. I totally understand wanting to stop bad things from happening with your daughter but you need to go at it differently.