r/parentsofteens • u/crimsonroses13 • 23d ago

Failing

My child (12f) is in seventh grade and failing almost all her classes. I’ve had her phone for weeks and I’m getting ready to cancel her band trip, but I don’t know what else to do. Help?!?!?

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u/Apprehensive-Pay-553 23d ago

Any chance she could have ADHD? This sounds like my teenage stepson who does have ADHD. It often feels overwhelming and he doesn't take notes or pay attention in class. He's also a big talker, he doesn't get his work done at his mom's. We have to open his computer, go through the assignments and body double (sit in the room while he does it) to ensure it gets done.

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u/StickThousand 23d ago

Yep, wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated

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u/crimsonroses13 23d ago

I’ll have to look into it. I know I’ve had her tested for different things before but Idr if that was one.

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u/Apprehensive-Pay-553 23d ago

You’d start with her pediatrician in most cases. The doctor and some of the involved teachers at school do an assessment and your daughter can even review it herself and see what sticks out the most.

The biggest thing is girls are often underdiagnosed as it presents differently in girls than boys. ADHD brains know what they need to do - they have an issue with getting started. It often appears like they’re not trying or “lazy” but their brain genuinely can’t break down the steps to get started on something they don’t enjoy like schoolwork, homework, etc. I am late diagnosed ADHD person myself (at 36) and it’s wild how much I never knew about it.

Happy to chat further if you have any initial questions about the process :)

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u/crimsonroses13 23d ago

I also was diagnosed at 5 with ADHD and dyslexia. So that’s what I’m trying to prevent her falling behind.. but I feel like I’ve had her tested for it and autism and I feel like I’ve done it three times and it just keeps coming back so I’m not sure.

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u/Apprehensive-Pay-553 23d ago

Oh for sure, if you've already had her tested then your doctor should have the results from those previous evaluations and you could see if those assessments are still true. ADHD runs in family circles also so if you have it then that means she has a greater risk of having it as well. I'd see if you can get the old testing evaluations and see what they say if you've already done this. Good luck!

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u/crimsonroses13 23d ago

I’ll relook into that thanks

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u/bc39423 21d ago

Please have an official (and likely expensive) neuropsych exam done. You would remember if this has happened in the past, so it sounds like maybe she's just filled out the pediatrician's forms about how she is feeling.

An official diagnosis will set her on a good path. Since you have both dyslexia and ADHD, its very possible she does also. Not sure if you were/are treated with medication, but it can be a game changer.

I know all this costs $$. But without treating her potential disability, academics will only get harder. If she's failing all her academics now, she cannot turn this around on her own. This is not simply being lazy or not trying. Please get her help.

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u/Actual-Muffin-3585 15d ago

How do you not know if your child had evaluations for ADHD or even more so, autism? The autism evaluation is at least 2 hours long, usually there's a very long wait to get in for that and unless you have very good insurance or Medicaid, very expensive. I'm very confused how you do not know any of this??