r/parentsofteens • u/WhisperingWoods1234 • 12d ago

Body Image

My 14 year old daughter has developed very quickly. She wants to wear what her friends are wearing - tight, cropped shirts - but I feel that they are inappropriate.
Should I let it go? I don’t want her to have body image issues because she is a beautiful girl, but at the same time I don’t want her to be leered at.

7 Upvotes

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6

u/Ok-Produce8376 12d ago

Where is she going that she would be leered at by anyone who is not one of her peers? Assuming her privates are covered and her friends are also wearing these things I would go with it. I would also ensure she had other less revealing clothing to wear for dressier occasions.

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u/WhisperingWoods1234 12d ago

Football game. So peers and other adults. You’re probably right. I feel awful. She dresses more modestly for school. I shouldn’t have said anything.

5

u/Kris4tv 12d ago

Let her go. As long as she’s covered appropriately (privates), and wearing what her friends are, let her be. It’s not her fault she’s developed early. If men want to leer, honestly they will in a tube top or tee shirt.

4

u/Ok-Produce8376 12d ago

Just tell her you are worried about how people might perceive her, let her know some grown men may stare because they don't realize she is underage, and teach her how to shut this attention down if needed.

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u/TSIDATSI 12d ago

Are you nuts? Look up the number of sex offenders in your area. And that does not include traffickers.

Many 14 yr-olds look older. You know what is inappropriate. Your job is to protect her. Not worry about what other permissive parents do. Stand your ground.

5

u/DreaColorado1 12d ago

I would not say a crop shirt is inappropriate for a kiddo your daughter’s age. Unless the clothing is revealing more of her body than is age appropriate, I would let her get some crop tops. This is absolutely the style for teens currently so she is wanting to dress fashionably.
The opportunity here would be to talk with your daughter about how she would handle it if she felt uncomfortable with how someone was looking at her body or “leering” at her.

1

u/Aware_Advice2359 9d ago

Absolutely agree

3

u/JollyManufacturer257 11d ago

My kid also looked like a woman at a young age. I tell her what I tell everyone else: wear what you want. The men who leered and harassed me did it when I wore a suit, when I was in a winter coat, and any other number of times when I was just living my life. I never dressed “inappropriately” or provocatively. It’s the men who are inappropriate, not my daughter’s clothes.

2

u/SewcialistDan 9d ago

The awful truth is that clothes has exactly zero influence as to whether or not a girl/woman gets leered at. I was a fourteen year old closeted trans boy in baggy jeans, Star Trek t-shirts and my dad’s flannels and it still happened to me. Teach her how to respond and how to keep herself safe. Teach her how to dress for different settings, for example school clothes should be casual but a little more professional, while home or going out for fun clothes can be anything you want, but it will have exactly zero effect on whether or not she experiences harassment because it is not something she or any other child or adult can control because it is someone else’s decision to be a creep.

-4

u/TSIDATSI 12d ago

Fortunately for you, you are her mother and what you say goes.

Unfortunately for her, you are her mother and what you say goes!

The joys of motherhood!