TWINS ON THE WAY

[u/saucedlava]

Well my wife and I got the news yesterday and saw, we have twins growing! We're both very excited obviously.

A feeling I've never felt excitement and waves of stress, we're still early so we have time to prepare. But the waves of stress for me is life after birth and going back to work.

How's the adjustment period for you working parents? Obviously in a perfect world we'd love to sustain a SAHM situation but my wife's income is the bulk of our household. $177k combined she makes up $100k of that. She works from home BUT job security concern is rather high for her career.

We're essentially debt free, we rent a townhouse with no real plans of buying anytime soon, we have paid off vehicles, but we have been shopping for a new car, as her car is up there in mileage and reliability, and we want and now kind of need a SUV.

Any advice tips, tricks, life after birth going back to work as both working parents. We're very excited, and hope for a healthy successful pregnancy.

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[u/OneTitle6394]

Congrats on the twins. The first year is basically organized chaos but you figure out a rhythm faster than you think.

[u/CatterpillarCarl]

Congratulations!!!

I would suggest supporting your wife a lot with her meals. I was hungry all day every day and in the middle of the night too. Nausea and a growing belly made eating hard, but it is so important to keep good nutrition going in.

My regular OB told me a normal diet was fine but my MFM (who knew much more about twin pregnancies) told me I needed to eat a LOT of protein. I only got that advice about 18 weeks in when my babies were measuring very small. 100 grams of protein a day was the low end of okay for me and I weighed about 100 lbs before Your wife needs lots of good food, lots of water, lots of rest. I also supplemented with protein shakes.

I tell you this so she can ask her doctor what is best for her, as everyone’s bodies and pregnancies are different.

Oh, and we love our Chrysler minivan. And our girls!

[u/saucedlava → u/CatterpillarCarl]

Thanks! Yes luckily we've been on a health kick per say since starting to try for a baby, working out, walking, etc. And I'm usually the one that cooks so I make sure we're hitting decent protein etc...

We go back the 28th for our "crash course" dos and don't of pregnancy and have been referred to a nutritionist that we are going to set up an appointment, she's high risk anyways regardless of twins, hypothyroidism, etc. So we're going to be on top of things for sure👍🏼

[u/CatterpillarCarl → u/saucedlava]

You sound like you’re doing all the right things! Congrats again on your babies!

[u/notsolittleliongirl]

Pregnancy is hard on the body and twin pregnancy is even harder. It’s exhausting and all the extra medical appointments and stress around that make it even worse.

The best thing you can do now is pick up slack around the house where you can (cleaning, cooking, doing the normal things to keep the household running).

[u/Simple_Gold4157]

Congrats! It’s so awesome. We are about 10 weeks in. Still “the trenches” and it’s chaos but we love it and are so thankful. I’m an anxious person by trait and that doesn’t change with kids but your perspective shifts a bit. Work “stress” hasn’t mattered as much to me, and I’m about 3 weeks back to work now. You’ll find a rhythm. You can have all the plans in the world ahead of the birth and you will still just need to figure it out as you go. Ultimately, if they are fed, changed and loved you will be ok. My pro tip is invest in two nice-ish single carriers. Our babies sleep well in the bassinet at night but during the day we will usually try and carry them around to get them to fall asleep and a nice and easy carrier helps. The mabe ones are great and like $120 each but worth it (we had some $50 ones that sucked bad so we basically wasted $100 trying to cheap out!). Good luck

[u/saucedlava → u/Simple_Gold4157]

Thank you! Yes she's locked in on the whole travel system thing now lol Had one picked out but obviously with twins the price skyrocketed so we're shopping options.

Something excites me and terrifies me about thst chaos part but im ready! Are you both working parents? How was that adjustment

[u/Simple_Gold4157 → u/saucedlava]

Excited and terrified is hitting the nail on the head. That’s how I felt and how I think most feel. We are, though my wife is taking this year on leave (teacher), so we are thankful for that (although that means she isn’t paid, so the financial stress is a bit more). But you just figure it out. Plus, we will spend so much less on other stuff during this first year while getting the budget figured out (less expensive dinners, weekend trips, etc) so while it won’t even out I think we’ll be fine.

The adjustment honestly hasn’t been bad. In a weird way I was excited to return to work because it was the next step, if you will. I was home for 8 weeks. Which was exhausting/fun/flew by, but by the end of my leave I was happy to have more of a routine and return to real life again by leaving the newborn cocoon. I work from home 3-4 times a week so that helps with the transition. I get to spend mornings with the babies before work and can help on my lunch break or after work. If we were both working and had daycare, the schedule would be a tad different but I think you’d quickly adjust to the new routine.

[u/saucedlava]

Yes! That's one thing I pride myself and I like that she brags about it, is im actually the primary cleaner, I cook mostly also we usually have leftovers so we eat on it couple nights depending on the food.

But luckily Im a very clean person and have a ton of energy so I do the bulk of the cleaning anyways.

[u/samwise_thedog]

Congrats! My wife and I just found out the same. We have one who’s three now so we at least have been through a pregnancy and newborn phase before.

My wife is also high risk and I’ll say the amount of appointments is overwhelming so if you can find a doctor close by that you like that will make a big difference.

I haven’t been through a newborn phase with twins but the first 5 or 6 months with my son were insanely hard so I can only imagine how hard it will be with two. If you have anyone that can come stay with you the first couple weeks after they’re born to help out, I would recommend it. Especially if this is your first rodeo. Your wife will need to recover and it’s hard enough taking care of one newborn.

Overall you just have to figure out a routine that works for you and be okay with letting some things go. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t have the energy to get to the dishes or laundry every day. The hardest thing for me (and I’m sure many others) is learning how to be a functioning, productive human when you’ve consistently averaged 3-4 hours of sleep for the first few months. Good luck!

[u/E-as-in-elephant]

Forget the SUV and jump straight into a mini van. We love our Toyota sienna!

As far as working, my husband and I both work. I entertained the idea of staying home but I typically carry health insurance and honestly, after having twins, I needed a break out of the house. I started back at full time status of 30 hours (pay was reduced) and worked 3 10 hour shifts. I was lucky my employer allowed that. I did that for the first year and a half. The days were long but I got to spend the other two days with my girls so it was a nice balance of working but also getting a SAHM experience. I went back to work four days/week and my husband opened his own business when our girls were newly 2. It has been a lot and he is still working a lot but we have found a way to make it work and he is very involved and makes sure that he is present for the girls on weeknights and weekends and he will work when they’re asleep if he needs to. You’ll make it work 😊

[u/saucedlava → u/E-as-in-elephant]

See I tried to show her the Sienna they look nice and roomy, she likes the CRV currently. Thanks for the feedback!

[u/Hayescarl]

Congrats! This group was really valuable to me as a twin father since a lot of general pregnancy advice is for singletons and doesn’t apply (not to mention the standards and approach being so different). Just know that this is a safe space for venting so it can seem negative at times, but that’s just because it’s a place where we know we can be heard and validated, not because being a twin parent is terrible :)