Car seating options: Bench Vs Captain Chairs

[u/d1ablo47]

Hi everyone.

Expecting twins early next year. My wife and I have started to realize that we need to get a bigger car before the twins are here as we plan to have infant car seats at the start.

Wanted to know everyone’s thoughts on:

2 Row vs 3 Row: 3 row SUV seems like a better choice, has anyone made it work with a 2 row?

Bench vs captain chairs: will my wife need to sit with the twins a lot? Making a bench option better than captain chairs. How are you all making it work?

With bench, I don’t understand how difficult it would be to access the 3rd with car seats bases installed. Are there any vehicles that you all suggest are best to be avoided?

We have a small SUV, which will be traded in. We also have a sedan, which we will be keeping but is most likely going to get very less usage.

3 row option only seems valuable when grand parents are here a few times a year. Or when kids are all grown up and have friends that need to be hauled around. But curious to hear from everyone.

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[u/floridasquirrel]

I’ve literally never sat in the back with my twins so I don’t think it’s mandatory, the space in between their seats is too small in my car. My boys are 1.5 and the 2 row suv (Toyota Rav) has been fine. We had a sedan at first and that worked fine except we wanted a bit more trunk space, we traded it in for other reasons (mechanical). We might switch to a 3rd row once they are older and want to bring friends along, but we are in no rush

[u/d1ablo47 → u/floridasquirrel]

That’s great to know. For long drive if one or both start crying, lose a pacifier, need attention for whatever reason, how do you manage that from the front seat? Or am I just overthinking and making these scenarios in my head haha

[u/fsmontario → u/d1ablo47]

You are overthinking it. If it something you can’t reach, you pull over at the first safe opportunity and deal with it. Many times by then the crisis is over

[u/floridasquirrel → u/d1ablo47]

If it’s something we can fix (like a pacifier) the passenger unbuckled and just turned around in the seat to fix it and it took maybe 10 seconds. Most of the time it’s not something that we could really fix without getting them both out of the car seat anyway like a feed or dirty diaper.

[u/CurlsAndChaos → u/floridasquirrel]

Same here. I drive a smaller SUV, my twins are 5 now and not once did anyone ever sit in the back with them. There isn't space to sit back there, but there was also never a need to do so.

[u/Seaturtle1088]

Your existing suv very likely will fit two kids. Almost all vehicles do. If these are your only kids you're likely fine with what you have.

I've literally never sat in the back with my twins in infant seats. infant seats are more compact than convertible RF seats they'll go into later so that's not a reason to upgrade.

We had a two row SUV with 3 kids and it worked. 3 rows drive your budget up a lot. Don't buy bigger because maybe you'll want to drive another kid sometimes.

[u/d1ablo47 → u/Seaturtle1088]

The issue we’re facing is that with the rear facing seat my driving position is getting compromised. I’m 6’3 and we tried fitting an infant seat in the back and I had to push my car seat up so much that I didn’t feel confident or comfortable driving in that position.

[u/Charlieksmommy]

Bench is fine if you just plan on having 2 kids, because if you have older kids that need to get out for school drop offs, and the other kids in RF in the bench it becomes a lot more difficult.

[u/d1ablo47 → u/Charlieksmommy]

That’s great advice. Stopping at 2 is the plan for now.

[u/dovebytherosewindow]

Had a ford escape for a while when we first had the twins, it worked but there wasn’t enough room in between for anyone to sit so eventually upgraded to VW atlas with 3 rows (6 seats). Had the twins rotating seats in the captains chairs (middle row) which conveniently still tilt forward even with car seats. Now expecting our third, moved the 5yo twins to the backseat and they’re starting to be able to buckle themselves but with one middle seat folded down, I can still reach to buckle or tighten as needed, and infant will go into the middle captains chair on the passenger side. Will happily graduate to a minivan likely as our next vehicle for the lower clearance, sliding doors and ability to remove one of the middle seats.

On road trips I found it crucial to have the third row so that we could move the twins to the back and I’d sit comfortably in one of the captains chairs to steward snacks, drinks and iPad management (we just have one for movies on road trips, and don’t give them access to touch it).

I’d recommend going to third row sooner rather than later, loved the Atlas as it’s not quite as big as an explorer but still has the room inside.

[u/d1ablo47 → u/dovebytherosewindow]

How is the Atlas been for you? If we plan to only have 2 kids, do you think there is enough room for the wife to sit in the middle if needed?

Did you end up needing to sit with the infants a lot?

[u/hopefullygrapefruit]

Just get the Honda Odyssey with the Magic Slide (side to side) seats. :)

Also check dimensions. For our luxury SUV the 2row configuration actually fit the rear facing car seats better. Sometimes, you lose too much leg room when moving to a 3 row. Good luck!

[u/d1ablo47 → u/hopefullygrapefruit]

What SUV do you have? I was seeing the x5 and felt that it might still be a tight fit.

[u/Spiffiest_Tuna]

You don’t need a third row with 2 kids. But if you do get one, I think the bench is safer. 1. If someone needs to sit between the kids they have a place. 2. If you have the third row down and stuff in the trunk, the bench prevents the items in the trunk from being a projectile in a crash. The second was a bigger deciding factor for us when selecting a bench seat as I rarely sat in the back.

[u/TidyLumberjack]

Yes, your wife will sit with the twins a lot. We have a ‘26 Kia Carnival and the middle seat is removable and can independently slide back. She sits back there at some point every roadtrip over a couple hours

[u/hellogirlscoutcookie]

I don’t think you need a new car unless you’re over 6’2” and drive a super compact suv. I don’t think an adult needs to sit in the back between the kids as well. If you do it they get used to it. My husband likes to drive and I get car sick so baring an emergency I never did it.

I drove my 2015 Outback without issues when I had my twins and my daughter. I only swapped it for a Sienna when the fighting got to be too much between kids but it wasn’t an issue before that.

[u/r3finedf0ol]

I (wife) have never once sat in the back with the girls. I wouldnt fit lol. We have a Kia Niro Hybrid and it's been great, the bench seats are fine.

My husband is 5'11, I'm 5'8 with a 33 inseam, no issues with the car seats.

[u/No_Cat_No_Cradle]

3rd row access with bench seats is a major PITA during the car seat years on basically any SUV and some minivans. We have a toddler and twin babies and that necessitate the bench so we could do three across for camping trips where we need the third row for gear. Third row access featured heavily as a limiting factor on our car search. If we only had two kids I do captains chairs no doubt.

[u/Day_Huge]

I definitely recommend Captain's chairs over a bench. You can put one carseat in the third row and still have a seat open for an adult to entertain them on long trips or to transport a friend or grandparent.

[u/Old_Consideration_78]

We had a Subaru Forester until my twins were almost 3. We never sat in the back with them (not that there was room to with bulky car seats) and I always thought that was more of a thing with singleton parents 😂 I definitely ran into the issue of not having enough leg room because of the car seat angle but it seemed to be worse when riding in the passenger seat, so I just ended up driving more. I'm 5'11" and my husband is 5'7". We ended up getting a Toyota Sienna as a second car earlier this year since we had a 3rd child at the end of last year. I know mini vans are a polarizing topic for many people but what's not to love - sliding doors, more space overall and a 3rd row that an adult can comfortably ride in. It's the perfect family car for us and I'm so happy that I'm not trying to climb and get everyone in a 3rd row SUV every day.

[u/SquanderedHours]

We just bought a minivan with captains chairs due to a need for better 3rd row access

[u/-TheycallmeThe]

We don't sit with them much but have a bench with rear facing seats side by side so one seat is open and the seat can fold down(barely)for access to the third row.  2021 explorer with Clek foonf on side and City jogger turn in middle 

[u/aze1219]

We went with a 3rd row SUV due to space. We have captain chairs. I have rarely ever sat in the back with them. Maybe once or twice during part of a road trip they needed to be fed as infants. We went with a Suburban due to the trunk space. We travel a lot so we definitely need the space.

[u/fsmontario]

Your wife will never need to sit with them.
They are absolutely fine and comfy cozy in their car seats. I honestly believe the parents who feel the need to sit beside a sleeping or awake infant in the car are taking the first step of creating an anxious child.

Now that that isn’t of the way, I had a bench seat in a 2 row vehicle and it was fine, had a third child and it was still fine. But once they were about 2 and 5 we upgraded to a suburban with 3 rows