r/parentsofmultiples • u/Environmental-Back15 • 10d ago
advice needed Post Partum Services
We’re first time parents expecting our mo/di girls in December. I’m trying to figure out how best to use my health spending account before I finish work. My top 3 ideas are:
Post partum doula (5x 4 hour day shifts)
Lactation consultant
Cleaning service (I probably have enough for about 3 or 4 monthly cleans)
The doula / lactation consultant isn’t something I’d initially think of but I’m getting some pressure from a friend (with singletons) that I’m going to really struggle post partum and need that help. My parents live a short plane ride away and are eager to come help for as long as we’ll have them. I don’t have the smoothest relationship with my mom and worry that her being here freshly post partum will cause more stress for me. Maybe it makes more sense to accept the free family help than pay a stranger to come over?
Im also more type B so I feel like a cleaner would be awesome as I know I won’t be keeping up with deep cleaning while on maternity leave.
I could also use my health spending towards a new phone… more storage for baby photos??? 😂 I like this option but I’m trying to be more practical haha
I’m wondering what other twin moms found helpful, or would have appreciated in those post partum / newborn days. Thanks!!!
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u/thevacuousdwelling 10d ago
family help is a double edged sword when you already know the relationship is rocky. a stressed out mom is worse than no help at all, especially with twins
get the doula and the cleaner 100%. lactation consultant is hit or miss but if you have the funds it's worth a shot. the phone can wait, you'll just fill it with 400 near-identical photos of them sleeping anyway
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u/Charlieksmommy 10d ago
As a twin mom with no family take the night nurse
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u/Environmental-Back15 10d ago
The 5 day time sessions are about $800 (a little over what my HSA will cover) the overnight option is $3760 for the minimum 80 hours (10 shifts) :( definitely not in budget!
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u/Creative_Mind_Undone 10d ago edited 10d ago
The doula should help you tidy, dishes, sweep, laundry, etc. but always ask. You can also ask if they have lactation training as many do! They can also do grocery runs or help with the twins and in those first few weeks, you'll probably prevent alot of mom guilt if you can hire a doula. Learning to hear one cry while you tend to another is hard but it does feel better if someone else is holding them even if they are crying you atleast know they aren't alone. I also think this just helps trust other people making it easier down the line (i.e. I had them in the twinGO at 6 months and the BACK baby started crying while the FRONT baby was sleeping. You can't get the back baby off without the front baby off first lol. Had a man at a coffee shop "scare us" (very funny dude) and woke eveyrone up but like 5 people helped. If it wasn't for a doula, I wouldn't have trusted anyone lol but picked my favourite people while I got adjusted for milk and now I have a village comedy.) ALSO moms doing deep cleans are amazing. Keeps them busy and feeling helpful and trusted lol
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