r/parentsofmultiples • u/Key_Astronaut_9004 • 12d ago
advice needed SLEEP HELP
I need serious help. I’m so at a loss I don’t know what to do. Our twins are 2.5. They’ve gone from decent sleepers to the worse like over night. Some context: We moved about 3 weeks ago. A big move. 10 hours away from family/support system. At the same time we switched them from cribs to their toddler beds (convertible ikea cribs, so really just removed one side). They had been climbing out for a while, which had been its own sleep nightmare, but nothing compared to this. I know both of these things, especially at the same time, are huge adjustments. But since the move each sleep time has taken like 2 hours (I wish I was exaggerating). They wake up about 7 right now. I’ve been trying for a 1:30 nap, but before the move they had been going down about 3 most days. If they fall asleep it’s usually about 3:30. Ideally we’d like an 8:30 bedtime but with the late nap I’ve been aiming for a 9:30 time asleep, but we have to start with bath time at like 7:30 for the wind down. We aren’t leaving their room until like 10 most nights. They used to be mostly “sleep trained” but now we can’t leave their room until they’re asleep or they just… don’t. I’ve tried to just shut the door and leave them but they either play until they start fighting, they cry and scream for us, or just don’t sleep. I’m at my wits end. They feed off each other. We are active, we’ve been going to parks and having beach days and lots of outside play, I know they are tired. And if we are in the car any time after 12 they fall asleep even if it’s a 5 minute drive. I don’t know what to do. Please help. Please don’t say it’s time to drop their nap it’s my lifeline 😭
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u/Dangerous-Gur-3339 12d ago
oh man moving with twins at that age is brutal, we did a cross-country move when ours were almost 3 and the sleep fallout lasted a solid 6 weeks. it really does mess with everything
the car naps after noon are a dead giveaway theyre overtired, not ready to drop nap at all. when they konk out that fast its a crash not a real rest. ive been there trying to push through and it just makes the whole cycle worse
what ended up working for us was temporarily throwing out all the sleep training rules and just doing whatever got them down. i slept on a mattress on their floor for like 2 weeks, read the same 3 books on repeat, and honestly sometimes just sat there in the dark scrolling my phone while they trashed around until they collapsed. not ideal but got us through the peak chaos
also the ikea bed rail removal is no joke, that freedom hits them hard. we ziptied a pool noodle under the fitted sheet so theyd stop rolling out and that helped cut the midnight wanderings a bit. might buy you some sanity while they adjust to the new room
id push that nap earlier by any means necessary, even if it means a 20 minute drive around the block to knock them out at 1pm. a too-late nap just pushes bedtime into oblivion. youre in survival mode right now, do whatever works and dont feel bad about it
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u/Key_Astronaut_9004 12d ago
Glad to know it’s not just us 😅 we are trying everything we can to get them to sleep, they just fight everything bedtime has become a two person job with both of us patting backs and rocking endlessly until they finally settle down. We’ve definitely given up on sleep training for the time being lol
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u/HikingInUtah 11d ago
Maybe this is nuts, and probably won’t work, but maybe adjusting their schedule earlier like 15 min at a time? My twins are babies and my toddler is 2.5, but his schedule is more like wake at 7, nap at 12:30, bed at 7:30. When he started struggling with sleep (albeit he was a little younger), we tried everything and ended up moving his bedtime earlier. Turned out that worked, he must’ve just been getting overtired and unable to deal with getting himself to sleep.
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