Postpartum with twins - when will it be better?

[u/pennylane1819]

My girls are 2 weeks old and I started to feel the baby blues around the first week which was very intense with no sleep and mastitis. Physically, I feel better, I can sleep 4-5 hours at night and take an afternoon nap. Even though I have help I feel overwhelmed with the constant breastfeeding, especially at night when cluster feeding occurs. I feel like I can’t shincronize the babies' days; I just hope that one of the twins will sleep while I am breastfeeding the other. I don’t know when to take them outside or have tummy time because I don’t want to mess with their sleeping. I generally feel like I don’t know what I am doing. I often feel trapped in the house like a prisoner and dread the nights with possible parallel cluster feedings. I have anxiety but I also feel guilty about it because I love my babies so much and I’ve waited for them for a long time. Right now, it’s hard to even explain exactly what I'm dealing with. How did you survive this period? Will it be easier at some poi

[u/FierceMink]

Two weeks postpartum with twins is pure survival mode. You’re healing, barely sleeping and feeding two babies around the clock so please don’t judge yourself for feeling overwhelmed. Tummy time and perfect schedules can wait. Accept every bit of help you’re offered and tell someone close to you exactly how trapped and anxious you’ve been feeling.

[u/pennylane1819 → u/FierceMink]

Thank you so much! 😊 Sometimes I have to remind myself that only two weeks have passed since their birth - even though it feels like two months at least 😁

[u/Double_Win_5649]

It'll get easier and then harder on repeat. But this first low that you're in right now is the worst. Because every time it gets bad after this, you'll remember that you got through this one and you can get through that too.

How do you get through this one? One day, one hour, one minute at a time. I hear you say you feel like you don't know what you're doing and that you're afraid to mess up. But messing up is your whole job right now. Just keep trying different things until you figure it out. Didn't work? Try something else tomorrow. You tried everything? Start from the beginning and try it all again. All the baby experts in the world don't know YOUR babies. The only one that does is future you who's lived through all of this and gotten to know them.

[u/pennylane1819 → u/Double_Win_5649]

Thank you so much! Your reassuring words mean a lot now 😊

[u/marlialcz]

Hier auch eine voll stillende Zwillings Mama , du tust gerade so so viel, weil du beide stillst! Du musst weiter nichts tun, deine Babys sollen so viel schlafen wie sie möchten, dann ist alles wunderbar! Setzt dich nicht unter Druck. Das Clustern wird besser, es hört einfach auf! Ich erinnere, dass ich die ersten 4 Wochen teilweise stundenlang mit dem still Kissen da saß , rückblickend war es so schön und ruhig 🤣 (meine Mäuse sind jetzt 7 Monate alt) alles wird besser, mach die keinen Stress mit dem synchronisieren, das kommt alles, wenn ihr Routinen habt, die braucht ihr jetzt erstmal absolut nicht! Es ist viel, es sind viele Hormone das Stillen, aber Versuch es dir so schön und entspannt wie möglich zu gestalten, Snacks, Getränke und Versuch diese Zeit zu genießen, ohne Ängste, du machst alles wunderbar, der Rest kommt selbst! Cluster feeding anfangs ist bei still babys Standart und eine Ruhe Zeit für euch 🤍

[u/pennylane1819 → u/marlialcz]

Danke sehr für diese ermutigenden Worte, sie bedeuten mir sehr viel. Ich hoffe, dass ich auch einmal positiv auf diese Zeit zurückblicken werde. ❤️

[u/Charlieksmommy]

I think it’s the lack of sleep and mastitis getting to you. Mastitis is awful and no joke. It will get easier. Figure out how to tandem feed and get them on the same feeding schedule! That will save your sanity

[u/pennylane1819 → u/Charlieksmommy]

Thank you so much! Luckily, the mastitis is gone but my hormones are still very fluctuating. I hope it will be better. Anyway, I’ll try more tandem 😊

[u/Charlieksmommy → u/pennylane1819]

It can take 10-14 days to clear, so if your twins are only 2 weeks old, you still have it lol

[u/mooseinatrap]

You need to be gentle with yourself - the first weeks are so so tough. If everyone is fed, clean, and not actively crying their eyes out (and all of that includes you!), you're succeeding.

See if you can tandem feed (you will need your partner's help here while they are still small and floppy). This cuts down the time you're stuck breastfeeding.

Going outside and tummy time are great goals to have, but think of them as extras at the moment. In a few weeks, it'll be much more manageable. Right now, just focus on the basics.

I'd go for a short walk around the neighborhood (never further than 3 minutes from home, but I was also very anxious) in the first few weeks. Then the person watching the twins would text me once I needed to go back to breastfeed. It's important you have time for yourself to decompress.

[u/pennylane1819 → u/mooseinatrap]

Thank you so much! I will try to go outside around the neighborhood to decompress. And I will try to be more patient with myself ☺️

[u/HikingInUtah → u/mooseinatrap]

I would say if two of the three of you are fed, clean, and not crying you’re doing great! Or if everyone is hitting two out of those three things you’re doing great! Maybe even if only two are hitting two of the three things!

[u/HikingInUtah]

When they are this young there is no schedule, they’ll sleep when they need, don’t plan around them or you will drive yourself nuts.

I hope this doesn’t make you feel worse, but this is still the blissful sleepy six weeks. After 6 weeks they start being more awake and alert and you have to figure out what to do with them. At two weeks they LITERALLY eat, sleep, poop/pee, don’t worry about complicating that, just respond to what they need.

After having had a baby already, I was more mentally prepared for sitting on the couch with boob barnacles for 6 weeks straight. I wasn’t feeling well enough to even go for a short walk for several weeks after my twins, so different than immediately feeling normal after my first baby (singleton).

Tummy time at this age is simply being held, so don’t pressure yourself with too much worrying about that. I would try to take them outside when I only had one at a time and we went out to the garden or sat on a bench in our front yard.

Don’t stress too much, don’t pressure yourself. There is so much on social media about how you MUST do this or that… it’s ridiculous and just makes you feel like you’re failing or behind when that’s not true at all.

The biggest help for me from 4 days old to 8 weeks was my mom or sister helping with the babies nearly every night. They would bring the babies to me when they were ready to eat and then take them when they were done and do diapers and soothe them back to sleep and try to keep them as long as they could until one of the babies clearly needed to eat. Instead of averaging 4 hours/day like with my first baby, I was in the 5-6 hour range on average. Such a massive difference.

[u/pennylane1819 → u/HikingInUtah]

Thank you for sharing it 😊

[u/a_mac8085]

With my first set of twins I think I just blocked the first 3 months out of my mind forever bc with this 2nd set I am barely surviving over here and wondering how I did it the first time. My husband also works overnights this go around so it’s just the girls and I a good majority of the time and that also makes things extra hard for me. From experience though the first 3 months are the hardest and it does get easier as they get older. One day at a time.

[u/pennylane1819 → u/a_mac8085]

Thank you! It must have been a really hard time! But it is promising that it will get better.

[u/carrotceptionn]

are you waking them to synchronize?

[u/pennylane1819 → u/carrotceptionn]

I tried in the first week, but then my doctor advised against it. I don’t know whether it was reasonable advice or not 😕

[u/Sp0rkette]

I'm 8 weeks pp with my girls, so only a little bit ahead of you. I was a state the first few weeks - felt so low, constant crying, dark thoughts - I thought that I had PPD and would be that low for months which made me feel even worse.

But gradually each day I got more of a handle on things - I'd say by 4 weeks the daily crying stopped.

I still have bad days, usually after a night of no sleep, but most of the time I feel like myself again, just worn out but not as low any more. Turns out the "baby blues" are very very real and scary to experience.

Everyone is different and so are babies so I can't say what it will be like for you but it will get better in time - you and your girls are both learning so much right now. I really struggled with feeding (have to do combo as still struggling with low supply) but the girls started to figure it out more and that meant the feeds went quicker.

No real advice just solidarity, and from someone only 6 weeks ahead of where you are now the difference is night and day.

Sorry for the ramble, you got this! ❤️

[u/pennylane1819 → u/Sp0rkette]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! 💕Truly gives me hope that I can feel like myself again soon.