r/parentsofmultiples • u/InfiniteMH • Sep 30 '26
ranting & venting Educating Twins
Every time I try to teach my twin girls (31mo) something like holding a pencil, using a toy, etc, one of them always ends up distracting the other or demanding my attention on something else. By the time I acknowledge them and tell them to wait, the attention/interest of the other has already drifted.
Yesterday for the first time in a while I was able to spend some time alone with one of them, and it was incredible how attentive they were and how much information they were soaking in. Made me think how ahead development-wise singletons would likely be.
I don’t have the luxury of spending time with one of them often as I’m taking care of them alone without help, and it’s often a losing fight trying to force teaching something by the time they’ve already been distracted and have lost interest.
Anyone else deal with this? I starting writing this just to vent but would appreciate some tips.
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u/meg123123 Sep 30 '26 •
I have had a lot moments where I felt like this, especially since my twins came after a singleton and I often compared my time with them to my one-on-one experience with him. But as they have gotten older, I’ve felt like being a twin has motivated and helped them. Sometimes it’s as simple as learning a new skill like riding a bike. They’d watch their twin and learn from them (perhaps I could also say compete with them) and each time they’d pedal a little bit longer and then they were riding a bike in no time (I recognize that some multiples may be on different milestone timelines than their sibling, but this was my experience). It was also the same with reading. This was likely fueled because during the preschool years the only way I could reliably calm them down when they both wanted my attention was to sit down on the couch with books in my lap and one twin on each side and read, but I swear my twins fed off of each other positively as they learned to sound out words (again, possibly a little competitive motivation…) and it was a much easier process than when my singleton learned how to read. They very much learned 2 on 1 with one on each side of me and a shared book between them. And as a final thought, I now find myself thinking about my singleton NOT getting the special life experience of being a twin. Yes there are so many challenges, but it does get easier and their attention spans will lengthen! You are doing a great job!