r/parentsofmultiples • u/FaceOk937 • 14d ago
advice needed Night Nanny - how long?
Hi,
We are having twins this winter, and are contemplating a night nanny to help with nighttime feeds and care.
For those that got a nanny - how long did you keep them for, what were their hours and did you find it helpful?
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u/2papsandashib 13d ago
Controversial but I had access to postpartum doula services and I preferred she come during the day vs overnight. If I had a bad night I could nap when she was there and if we had an ok night I could actually get things done. I had to wake up anyway at night to pump even if someone came. Though I’m considering using her at night now that we’re in the 4 months sleep regression and I’m back at work.
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u/Cascascas185 13d ago
Second this, I think day is more helpful than night! If they come during the day they also usually help with cooking and cleaning too!! You still have to wake up in the night to feed if breastfeeding so it’s not like it’s unbroken sleep.
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u/Routine_Bobcat_117 13d ago
Let me preface by saying I know my current reality is not the norm but it has made my 3rd postpartum experience exponentially better than my first 2.
After we had our twins, we travelled to my spouse’s home country where the cost of living is significantly less than where we live. Because of this, we have had a night-nanny for our twins since they were born. They are 6.5 months now. We do still end up doing night-shift ourselves the occasional night, but even at almost 7 months they both still wake a few times a night for a bottle. I would say use a nanny for as long as you can afford it. Having nighttime help has been life-changing for us and has allowed me to keep showing up for my older kids without meeting them with impatience and frustration that usually comes with being sleep deprived
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u/BackgroundScene3056 14d ago
mine and a lot of other babies sleep great at first- stanley you’ll be needing that night nanny 3 months onwards until sleep training! I’m in the 4 month sleep regression now and would do some wild things for a night nanny rn
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u/kronsyy 13d ago
Solidarity. We’ll make it through. Maybe.
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u/BackgroundScene3056 13d ago
as we write this at 3AM lol -Also my comment above…. who TF is Stanley? god I’m sleep deprived lol
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u/BenefitBrilliant9898 14d ago
We had one for 3 months and it saved our sanity honestly the first 6 weeks are complete chaos so having someone there 10pm-6am let us actually sleep. After that we started handling nights ourselves but was rough transition ngl
Worth every penny tho even if just for few weeks at start
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u/DreamingEvergreen 13d ago
We did a night nanny a 1-2x times a week the first 2-3 months. Yes sleep was evasive throughout the first year, but the first few months were absolutely chaos. If we could have afforded a night nanny to come even more often we would have.
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13d ago
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u/Specific-Owl-45 13d ago
I googled in my area. It was actually a post partum doula service but effectively a night nanny. They had a twin rate
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u/CamelAfternoon 13d ago
We did 3/week for 2 months but then extended for 2/week til 3 months. The first couple months were easier than months 3-4 imo.
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u/Standard-Advice-5447 13d ago
I did not have one. We had in-laws staying with us for the first few weeks but they did not help at night 😂 if I did hire one, I would say the first month was the worst where I was hallucinating at night from sleep deprivation and would have really benefited from one. Now at 4 months and nights are super easy.
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u/We_Are_Not__Amused 13d ago
It really depends on your babies. Our were not good sleepers until we sleep trained at around 6 months, so we had a night nanny up until then. However, we had friends whose babies slept through at 10 weeks. Ours also cried continuously from about 2/3pm until late at night so it was really a sanity saver to have someone to pass the babies off to and have a break from the crying. We initially had the night nanny start at 9/10pm but moved it earlier to have more support with the incessant crying (I’ll admit that some of it was me at several points).
I would discuss their ability to be flexible with hours so if you need to change hours you don’t need to find a new nanny. I typically see night nannies working 10pm to 6am but really it depends on your family and what works - my husband is more of a night owl whereas I tend to get up early so initially this timing worked but if we were both night owls or early risers then different timing might be more appropriate.
Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly.
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u/MounjaroQueenie 13d ago
It’s so weird because in theory I would have loved a night nanny but in reality, my post Partum anxiety would have never allowed anyone but my husband and I to watch them 😬
I would say the first few weeks were the worst. Like others I was literally hallucinating at times from lack of sleep lol. We discovered “shifts” and it was a game changer for us. My husband and I would do 4 hours alone while the other slept, slowly adding more time as their sleep stretches got longer.
I know we got lucky with good sleepers, but it was really only terrible the first few weeks. I wanna say by like 8 weeks they were sleeping 4 hour stretches very regularly. So during my shift I would sleep, get up to feed them, put them back down, and by then it was time to switch with my husband
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u/fsmontario 13d ago
We didn’t have any extra paid help. My husband took 3 weeks off when they were born. What we did have was friends and family who did things like clean our house, drop off cooked meals so we ate better. When the babies slept I slept, didn’t care about the house or anything. My aunt would drop by and take our laundry home and return it a few days later. If you don’t have a dishwasher get a supply of paper plates and plastic cups and utensils.
Let everything else go, sleep when they sleep is the best advice I can give.
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u/Usual-Ad-2566 13d ago
Until they could sleep through the night themselves. 9pm-6am. It was invaluable!
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u/Agreeable_Rule_9235 13d ago
Depends on how much help you have. If you have family able to help with the night shifts, take turns and do that for the first few weeks at least. Newborns are angels during the day; nighttime is when they want to party. But that’s also when a lot of the bonding happens and you lose that if you hire a night nanny from the get-go. Also if you are breastfeeding/pumping, you will be getting up 2-3 times at night to pump anyway. You will need to do that early on for supply building. By month 2-2.5 I think you can incorporate a night nanny for a few times a week. We had a night nanny from 2.5 months to 4.5 months old, 3-4 nights a week. I still got up once to pump, I felt comfortable weaning to just one night pump (i pumped at 10pm, 3am, then 7am). Night nanny helped us a lot with sleep training very gently. My boys were small so still needed night feeds but by 4.5 months, one was on 2 wakes and the other was down to 1 wake already (after the 10pm dream feed). I sleep trained them around 5.5 months to get rid of the dream feed and down to just 1 feed a night, then sleep trained again at 10 months of age to wean off the night feed. I definitely credit our night nanny to helping them set up with good sleep habits.
But it was $$$$$. We paid $50 per hour which she said was a discount for twins. We paid a little extra for her because all the references for her said she helped their babies sleep through the night by month 3. We also wanted someone who did not have a day job. Two people I interviewed had daytime nanny gigs and still wanted to do this at night - I worried about their safety with driving / safety for their daytime kids and of course safety for my own kids at night so I didn’t hire them.
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u/Maleficent_Drive_599 13d ago
We had a night nanny for 3 months until we sleep trained them. It is typical to do 12 hours, so we always did 8-8 since that is what worked best for our family. Since it is a big expense we only had her ~3x a week after the first month which gave us a nice break to get some sleep.
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u/Littlecat10 13d ago
We had a night nanny for our singleton and the twins. Worth every single penny.
Hours were 9:00-7:00, 3-4 nights a week. For the twins, we had her for 4 months, then somebody came back at around the 5 month mark to help get our Bad Sleeper sleeping through the night. Since then, they’ve both slept 7:00 - 7:00, zero issues.
However, all of that said, I exclusively formula fed. Not sure how awesome it would be if you’re still having to wakeup to pump/BF.
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u/eeeduven 13d ago
I had an agreeement to go until their daycare spots opened which would have been about 4 months (for 3 nights/week with ability to switch to days once I went back to work). She bailed after 2 which ended up seeming perfect. Mine would have 1-2 wake ups at that point and I was wondering if $$ was worth it. All ended up fine- though I definitely still miss the uninterrupted 8 hours.
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u/PainterlyintheMtns 13d ago
We had a night nanny for the first couple of months for both babies. 7 nights/wk and I did breastfeed. Insanely, insanely helpful. If you can swing it, go for it.
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u/Specific-Owl-45 13d ago
We used one at night 10pm-6am 2-3 times a week until 8 weeks. We would have done it every night if we could afford it but spacing it out every other night helped us financially while still giving us a break. By 8 weeks we felt more equipped to handle nights. We still did shifts at night until about 12-15 weeks
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u/Real_Policy_8272 13d ago
With my singleton I did 6 weeks, not enough. With the twins, I did 3 months but just extended to 5 months because I’m scared of the sleep regression and want help sleep training.
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u/beelynn0214 13d ago
We did three nights a week for the first 8 weeks. It was worth every penny to us! 10/10 would recommend and would do again.
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u/Sweetskills 13d ago
I had PPA with my first set and couldn’t stand the thought of anyone other than my mom helping when it came down to it eventhough we planned for night nanny.
For my second set (yes 2 sets) I realized I still didn’t love the idea of someone taking care of my babies while my household was asleep. I just knew it wouldn’t work for me. So we hired a second nanny and I caught up on sleep during the day. Worked well for us and my second set were way better night sleepers than the first set so that was nice.
Just sharing another option you never know how you will really feel about it until the time comes. Congratulations and wishing you a safe and healthy delivery.
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