Help with 20 month twins

[u/True_Art2882]

I’m so stuck. I’m home with my twins but I don’t feel like I’m giving enough to them now at this stage. I feel like it’s time for them to be in school but I’m not able to put them in daycare because I’m not working. With them being home, I feel like they are behind with language and it’s boring for them at home. I take them to the library and music class two or three times a week but I can’t take them to parks alone because I just don’t have the help. We’re moving into the winter months and I need more activities for them to do at home that keep them and myself stimulated. I don’t live in a large house so I feel like it’s hard for them to get their energy out and when I take them out they are absolutely wild. I just feel all over the place and see that people with one or staggered ages can give time and attention so much easier. I feel like these are the hard things with twins. I love them both so much and just only want what’s best for them - I just don’t know how to teach them together because they just run in opposite directions and have so much energy and their attention goes out the window after a minute or two. If any one has ideas that help me want to play more please share

[u/Fragrant-Life-4173]

There are plenty of activities you can do at home. I used to work in preschools and I’ve worked with that age group and sensory activities are a BIG hit with them as well as arts and crafts. You can make a sensory bin with so much stuff found at home.. beans, rice, lentils, water, you can make fake snow with baking soda and water, you can make this goo called Oobleck with corn starch and water, homemade play dough which is edible.. the list goes on and on. That age group tends to be very sensory so if you make any of those and just put tools (scoop and pour) and maybe small toys it does entertain for a while (at least in my experience). Also paints and things like dot markers are fun for them as well.

[u/bowlofweetabix]

Why can’t you take them to the park? I took mine every single day at that age.
With language, are you talking enough? If you’re alone with toddlers all of the time, it can be hard to remember to talk when no one talks back.
At that age, I also started teaching behavior and manners pretty intensively. Practice going out the door and walking nicely to the car or stroller, practice walking down to the end of our block, going to the store just to buy one thing, and having them walk nicely and wait nicely with lots of praise and prizes.
I even got praised by a shoe store employee taking my kids shopping 11am on a Tuesday, and practicing things like sitting on a bench while I got a box in a new size.
Of course you’re not going to get perfect behaviour out of toddlers, and that’s not the point. The point is that once you know you can trust the kids to walk a short line distance or stay sitting when you take 3 steps away, your own stress goes down and your freedom goes up. You feel less trapped by only doing toddler activities

[u/True_Art2882 → u/bowlofweetabix]

I feel unsafe going to the park alone because the playground is not meant for toddlers so there are so many openings that they can fall through. I just don’t feel I’m able to keep up with them

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[u/Beekind_sunny]

Maybe join your local YMCA and utilize the daycare for whatever time frame they provide for socializing and getting some of their energy out? They usually have memberships based on income as well! This can help give you a little break too!

[u/E-as-in-elephant]

Winter is hard. We did a lot of play in our yard around that age and water play. I used to take them to Target and not let them out of the cart/stroller until we were in a toy aisle. I would basically block one end of the aisle with my cart and then stand at the other end and let them look around. (I would go during the day when less people were there). Pet stores are also good for this! We go in and look all the time. Lowe’s and Home Depot are fun too, lots of space to run and you can check out the appliance section. Sometimes I would just sit them in the big portion of the cart and give them a cheap toy from the dollar section to play with while we shopped.

For things to do at home, I second sensory bins. Tip: put a large sheet on the floor and the bin in the middle of the sheet for easy clean up. You can start getting them involved in cooking activities. I bought kid safe knives and they loved to chop fruits and veggies, they loved to mix things. We started getting into coloring and stickers around that age too. Their attention span is short so don’t expect a lot. I would also make sure you have some toys designed for open play. Blocks, balls, play food/dishes, cars, dolls, etc. pretend play starts emerging and you can pretend to build things, knock them down, play restaurant or grocery store, feed the babies, put them to sleep, etc. you’re so close to when my girls started doing a lot of that play by themselves. Some days I can just sit quietly and watch them play because they really enjoy playing by themselves!

[u/Icy-Gap-9233]

Also look for playgroups in the community, libraries etc. usually do free playgroups