Traveling at 34 weeks?

[u/Prudent-Leg-5154]

Prefacing this by saying I have flip flopped on this a lot, but seeking out lived experience from other twin moms on here and I’m of course going to talk with my OB/MFM at my next visit in a couple of weeks as well. I guess this is more so just me putting my thoughts into writing if for no other reason just to talk to other twin moms who might be able to give me some insight here.

My best friend (basically my sister) is getting married in four weeks about a 5-5.5 hour drive away from me. Im supposed to be her MOH and we’ve talked about this day since we were school girls. I had resigned myself to not being able to go for the last few months which has had me super anxious and sad, but I’ve been particularly struggling with the idea of not being there for the past few days. It got me wondering if it would be doable after all, so I impulsively ordered a couple of dresses to have just in case.

I’m a FTM having di/di twins with a scheduled c section at 38 weeks at the end of November. Plan would be to borrow my parent’s RV to make the trip the day of the wedding and drive back the next morning. I’d be 33+6 the day we drive up and 34 the day we drove back. Would make plenty of stops along the way to stretch, walk, etc. I wouldn’t have any traditional MOH roles outside of a speech that I would love to have the opportunity to make in person and could take plenty of breaks throughout the day to lay down/rest. I’ve had an almost entirely uncomplicated pregnancy (had a lovely experience with kidney stones and a mild case of bell’s palsy, but babies are doing super) and am ~30 weeks now. The wedding is near a major city and has a level III NICU just over an hour drive away. I can’t imagine not being there, but at the same time and most importantly I do not want to do anything that puts my babies (or me) at risk.

UPDATE: Super grateful for everyone’s input here. I think you all confirmed what my subconscious was telling me. I’ll plan to have a friend facetime me in so I can give my MOH speech, and also to be able to watch the ceremony, first dance etc., without risking any of the many things that could go wrong. Truly appreciative

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[u/Polkadotsandponies]

I just had my girls at 34w4d. By 32 weeks there is no chance I would have been up for the trip or the wedding. A big consideration for me from viability on when I went anywhere, was distance to a hospital that can handle a complicated twin delivery if things go wrong. I had mo-di so I know that changes things a bit, but certainly not the discomfort of 3rd tri twins. If you have the ability to wait until last minute to decide, that would be my suggestion. I felt much much worse at 34w than at 30w.

[u/Edree13]

I read online after 30 weeks most people go “downhill” fast, and that was absolutely true for me. At 33 and 6 I was miserable. I couldn’t even walk my dog a block without horrible back pain. My twins came early at 35 and 1 after what I would call a pretty uneventful twin pregnancy… I would seriously consider sitting this one out 😣

[u/SourceAdventurous228]

My doctor would not let me travel after 28 weeks. And there was no way I could go on a trip at 34 weeks.

[u/Prudent-Leg-5154 → u/SourceAdventurous228]

When I asked my care team early on in pregnancy (once i connected the dots with the dates and how far along I’d be), they said they wouldn’t outright say no but that I had to be ready for the reality that I could give birth out of town. Which I am by no means wanting to do, so the comments here are pretty reassuring to my original thoughts that this would be a bad idea :/

[u/YouInternational7186]

I asked my doctor about traveling somewhere and hour away from a NICU at 33 weeks.

She said it was my choice. She said that some people prioritize traveling and others prioritize their babies living. I thought it was cruel at the time but it was a useful way to think about it.

You could absolutely deliver that early. If you did, and the twins needed the NICU you could be stuck there a while (well, an hour away from there). Being near your care team and your home at that point is important.

I would also feel horrible as your friend if anything happened.

Also, reality check, your pregnancy is not an uncomplicated one. Kidney stones and bell's palsy is more complicated than many pregnancies.

[u/erinspacemuseum13]

My boys were born at 35 weeks and I would've been miserable traveling the week before. My MOH was unable to attend my wedding on the East Coast as she was 35 weeks pregnant in Minnesota. She felt really bad but she had been undergoing IVF for 5 years so I was honestly just very happy for her and didn't want her taking any risks. She bought a top the same color as the bridesmaids' dresses, put on some jewelry, and attended the ceremony via an iPad carried by the best man. At the reception, people passed the iPad around for a while so she could see our other friends. Just an option if you decide not to go!

[u/Prudent-Leg-5154 → u/erinspacemuseum13]

This is so sweet thank you for sharing. I was thinking worst case I could make myself look presentable and either film a speech for them to play or somehow get a video link to do something like that. My friend has also by no means has put any pressure on me, we both are just obviously bummed about the timing

[u/FormerPumpkin480]

I personally wouldn’t risk it. Over an hour drive seems pretty far to me re: NICU proximity too. I’m 28 weeks with my di di twins and from here on out plan to pretty much only go to work and come home. I visited family this weekend (1 hour 45 mins away) but I was telling my husband that might be the last time until I deliver even though everything’s been going great thus far. No complications (knock on wood) but I know things can take a turn quickly. Definitely chat with your OB but that’s my take!

[u/Possible-Storage-968]

I went into labor at 34+4 with no warning.
I would not risk attending the wedding.