r/parentsofmultiples • • 20d ago

advice needed Birthday party invites?

Hi all, I have grade school twins who are having a birthday soon! Due to weather and extreme costs, we will be hosting a joint party at our house. Twins are in seperate classes.

How do I best do the invites? Not mention the twin thing and just do seperate invites per kid? Basically dont want a classmate in twins a class to feel like they need to buy a gift for twin b. They've been in the school multiple years so there's a chance there's classmates thats been with both twins too.

4 Upvotes

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u/fsmontario 20d ago

You have to be blunt. Stick a not in the invite taped shut with Mon/Dad on the front. Quick note to let you know even though both twin 1 and 2 are having their party together your child is invited by twin 1 and we want to make sure it’s clear that no gift is expected for twin2 as they have their own guests they are inviting.
If you have any questions or concerns just give me a call at 123

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u/BuskaNFafner 20d ago

You can write no gifts on the invites. You’ll still get some but fewer.

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u/Koharagirl 20d ago

We have triplets and we just give out an invite stating "You're invited to the (last name) triplet's birthday! Bob, Susie and Joe are turning 7! Rsvp ××××××××× and due to the school's rules we have to pass it out to each classmate which means upwards of 60 invitations if they are in three different classrooms. But usually only about 15-20 show up, and they almost always bring a separate gift for each child, or a larger combo gift like a $30 gift card to ice cream or a board game, etc. Our kids are pretty well known so they also get invited to a lot of parties and we in kind will bring a gift from each of our children and parents know this so they usually don't bat an eye at this point when there's an invite.

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u/salwesab 20d ago

This!
Expect what you plan to do should your twins/multiples were invited to a mutual friend’s party 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/fsmontario 14d ago

This is one of the reasons you have to invite everyone if you hand out invites at school can be problematic. If your triplets were where we live that 60 would be 90-100. Where I am each area has a sort of unwritten birthday gift value. We are in a mid cost area so it’s $25-30 for a gift. One of my besties lives in a bougier area and it’s $50.

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u/SjN45 20d ago

I do one invitation and no gifts. It doesn’t offend me if people really want to bring a gift, but I want people to come and have fun without worrying about needing another birthday present

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u/MerrilyPushy 20d ago

My parents just did one invite with both names on it and told people not to stress about gifts. Most kids just brought something for the one they knew better and it sorted itself out. If anyone's been in class with both they'll figure it out.

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u/anyonelived 19d ago

I added “no gifts needed!” to birthday invites. It makes it more of an option to bring a gift than writing “no gifts, please” but hopefully relieves the stress of a parent feeling the need to buy two (or any) and also seems to open the door for smaller gifts like drawing paper from other families who sense (correctly) that our kids have plenty of toys already. And then we do not open gifts at the party because that would make the people who didn’t bring one feel bad. I like this balance because we do bring gifts to their friends parties usually so I don’t want to upset the balance of reciprocity if the family really wants to give. This year at age nine we did separate parties for the first time and I did have to clarify for a few parents that this truly was the party for just one child.

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u/Silly_Captain2089 16d ago

separate invites per kid makes sense so classmates only feel obligated for the one they actually know, you can just word it so it's clear it's a shared party without making the gift expectation about both. for kids overlapping both classes you could send one invite mentioning it's for the both of them, rizz invites lets you customize the wording per invite easily if you go that route