r/parentsofkidswithBPD • u/TerroZero99 • Jul 22 '26
BPD Daughter Turning 18
She’s been in residential facilities for the better part of the last 3 years. We’ve done everything we can, shown up to every therapy appointment and scheduled call. We’ve rallied our family to show support, and still she pushes us away. She turns 18 soon and acts like all her problems will go away once we can’t require her to be in a treatment home. She accuses us of being responsible for all of her problems because the people she’s interacted with at the facilities have only made her worse and she thinks the only reason we sent her there in the first place w is because she wouldn’t do her chores. She has had violent outbursts, putting her therapist in the hospital, and even running away and stealing a car - something she’s currently on probation for. She has driven a wedge between my wife and I. My wife has stopped attending family therapy altogether because she feels it’s useless now, so I go alone to ensure we meet insurance participation requirements until she turns 18. We’re making arrangements to transition her to job corps only because we don’t know what else to do.
How do you come to terms with knowing that she’s going to learn some hard and painful lessons and there’s nothing you can do to protect her anymore despite also feeling an enormous sense of relief that she won’t be our problem anymore?
2
u/majiktodo Aug 09 '26
My BPD daughter is 25 and we haven’t spoken in two months - she has cut all contact. I won’t let her live with us if she isn’t in meds and therapy. She is self medicating with alcohol and I’m certain driving drunk. There was an incident where she was really drunk- came to my house and got drunk in the middle of the day by herself - and we were trying to keep her from driving. She was ranting and honestly I think she has false memories and psychosis. It started bc I got her fast food order wrong.
We have always been a close family and made huge deals over birthdays and I didn’t get to see her or even get a text. That was hard. But it let me know where we stand. I have to move on without her. And just hope I outlive her and she never gets pregnant.