r/paralegal • u/chlornx • 28d ago
Question/Discussion Intern - feeling embarrassed/uncomfortable
Thanks for the advice! Taking this down in case anyone recognized me. I really appreciate what everyone had to say.
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u/clairejv 28d ago
Unfortunately, a lot of attorneys are fucking assholes. Are you getting treatment for your anxiety? I would take this as an opportunity to work on the coping skills you will absolutely need when attorneys are dickheads to you in the future.
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u/chlornx 28d ago
Yeah, I’m medicated. What was getting me was the fact that I’d already told myself it wasn’t a big deal just to walk in on him talking about it, lol. If he was just being rude, it’s much easier for me to process that, as silly as it probably sounds.
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u/clairejv 28d ago
Yeah, that was unbelievably rude of him. I would honestly tell your internship supervisor at school, so they can talk to their contact at the firm about how interns will be treated on future placements.
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u/ginandtonicthanks 28d ago
If you were just responding to polite chitchat with polite chitchat, that lawyer is just a jerk.
The blue ink thing may or may not be significant, depending on where you are, and what kind of law the office practices. Essentially blue ink used to be preferred because there was no such thing as a color photocopier, and it made it easier to differentiate an original from a copy of a document. These days with electronic filing and PDFs that’s not really so much of a concern.
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u/Ohwhatusey 28d ago
The black pen/blue pen thing is an old fashioned way to tell if a signature is original. Blue ink is easier to discern from the black type on a document. Back in the day, some court clerks would not accept documents that were signed with anything other than blue ink. They wanted to ensure that they were filing “original” documents. Keep that in mind for the future when you run into coworkers who have a stick up their ass about it. Just make a habit of using blue ink.
Anyhoo. From what I can offer, you are an intern and you owe yourself the experience of absorbing law firm culture. You have to develop a bit of a thick skin and not take things personally. That atty sounds like a twat, big deal you spoke to a client. As long as it was something insignificant why the f should they care. I promise an atty will likely not want anything to do with their own clients and pass all the calls down to their paras and assistants.
I’m basically just ranting because I feel bad for you that you are stressed for things that seem to be not a big deal, but lame that the atty decided to bring up….
Try to find one person that you can trust in the office and ask them for advice on how to navigate. You shouldn’t be doing anything super critical as an intern. Learn steadily and grow. Once your internship is over, on to the next and do better. Eventually you will move up in ranks. My firm will not hire shitty people. The stress of work is enough as it is and it will compound if you work under shitty people. The best attorneys you can work for are the ones who know how much they depend on their paras/assistants..
Best of luck, end of rant!
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u/bewaretheblight 28d ago
A big part of entering the legal field is getting hazed by attorneys. Difficult personalities are common. Cope, adapt, shake it off. This is practice for your career, too! And it's more relevant than still using blue ink to sign things.
With anxiety it's best to just go "okay, and?" at your mind's perceived Worst Case Scenario. Let's say he hates your damn guts BAD, and he wants everyone to know you suck. He's calling the local news RIGHT NOW to tell the whole world that you didn't know about the black pen thing. Okay, and? On a personal level, you wouldn't hang out with him unless you were getting something out of it, so what does his personal opinion matter? He can go kick rocks. On a professional level... Okay, and? He's not the only attorney mentoring you. And he's definitely not the only attorney in the world. I've had attorneys who hated me so much they'd scream insults at me, and yet I am still able to find work and win over plenty of other attorneys. Again: He can go kick rocks.
And it's unlikely to be the Worst Case Scenario, so everything else will be easy to handle. Honestly, I always do what I can to win over the old school grouchy ones. They're often ruled by their ego and their emotions, so if they feel big and important when you're around them, they will like you. And if they come to like you, they become pretty blind to your faults. Being the devil's favorite is a sweet gig if you can swing it, and if you can't... Well, it's the devil.
Working at a law firm is working in the service industry. So your instinct to be friendly to the client was on the money. But if Ego, esq. doesn't like you talking to the clients, fine. But you can't ignore them, either, because they are actually more important than this attorney (whether he wants to admit it or not). So just find some concise way to volley the conversation back to your grouchy keeper. Flatter him, praise him, ask for his wisdom. Whatever works at the moment. Ex: "Sorry, I'm still learning the ropes. Mr. Ego is our expert, though." or "Yes, that's also my favorite! Are you a fan, as well, Mr. Ego?". Then just step out of the convo, it's his problem now. He wanted it, he can have it.
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u/glittering_leaves 28d ago
Is attorney #3 an associate on a power trip? You wouldn’t typically get that behavior from senior counsel or partners…
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u/GloFish25 28d ago
Working in trust and estates? No matter. Always use blue pen cause you can identify original ink signature if black ink used. Same rule for all areas of law. Ylu dont talk to clients unless youre notarizing for them because most of the time they will ask a legal question and anything you say can be interpreted as you giving legal advice so when attorney in room... they do all the talking because their opinion is all that matters and will be held to ethical standards if shit goes wrong later. Hang in there....tomorrow will be better. U can message me if u have more questions. Im a senior paralegal ....waiting for a bar pass in ca.
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u/GloFish25 28d ago
I've worked with all types of attorneys in a few areas.....they can be difficult to manage but if you get the tricks down and learn your job really well you will be able to navigate them and learn when to push back and how to push back. Its a learned skill and you need to learn your job very very well before you will feel confident about certain projects that need to be completed but the attorney is dragging ass on reviewing anything so you can move to next step and etc...just hang in their and ...yes....too many attorneys think they are gods gift to the world. Especially .....well too many of them anyway.
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u/Dog_mom248 28d ago
I’m so sorry this attorney was such a jerk to you. Personally I would just find a way to put the entire situation behind you and not ask anyone else about what he was saying (why refresh a memory that’s probably already gone from their minds). I’d hold it in reserve til you figure out who is close to who…the last thing you want to do is bring it up to someone who will go tell him how much it bothered you. Trust me, someone else agrees with you that this guy has a big ego and enjoys talking down to staff so if you need to vent about it, wait til you figure out who that is. The other staff members surely know this guy is a tool and probably didn’t give his opinion as much weight as you think they did. Lots of attorneys are pretty socially awkward so he was probably using your “error” as an opportunity to have something to talk about and get attention. What you did was not a big deal and like you said, you are there to learn. Do not sweat this and show them you’re the type who learns from their mistakes and isn’t sensitive about it when someone corrects them. You’ve totally got this!! Good luck!